"Please Cal, stay awake" the voice was foggy and distant and drifted in and out, or maybe I was the one drifting in and out. I had the strangest sensation of being jostled around, but as quickly as it had come it was gone again. It was the weirdest feeling. I think it was some time later when I realised everything around me had changed and I was somewhere else entirely, somewhere indoors.

"..Niko, he shouldn't be left alone, I really don't like this at all.."

"Please Dr Marco, we really can't..and believe me, I'm not going to leave him alone"

"He should be in the hospital Niko.."

"He'll be ok Dr Marco, I'll take care of him"

There was a long pause.

"..he'll need to be woken and checked every 2 hours, just in case. I've done what I can for the cut, but Niko, your mother.."

"honestly Dr Marco.."

"If he gets any worse.."

"I know" Niko's voice suddenly sounded small and even further away.

"thanks for all your help, we really do appreciate it, Cal and I"

There was a reluctant and distant, "take care of each other Niko"

Then there was a shuffling off to the side and the familiar clunk of our trailer door. I started to drift off again but there was suddenly a warmth at my side. I must have grumbled something incoherently, I'm not really sure. I wasn't very coherent. Man, that was a big word.

"Cal?" his voice was so soft I think if there had been anyone else around they wouldn't have heard it. But I did. I felt a gentle hand against my jaw, barely a touch.

"Cal? I'm sorry, you have to stay awake for a bit now, Dr Marcos says I shouldn't have let you even close your eyes because of your head." I couldn't take that. He sounded so, so, unlike my brother. He sounded guilty, worried and guilty. Why was Niko sounding guilty? Before I could make my body, or even my mouth move he continued,

"I'm so sorry Cal" damn it, why was he sorry? He had nothing to be sorry for. Damn my body and damn my brain, I couldn't move, or speak.

"I tried to come after you, but Sofia.." he took a deep breath "after she threw that goddamn bottle" my brother swore. My brother never swears.

"I just, I tried, but she grabbed me and held me back, she held me back so tight and I didn't want to..and" I felt his body slump a little in such a Niko-way, "and then it was too late, I couldn't catch you, I saw you go out the lot and I shouted, but then" he paused, his voice oddly rough, "then I lost you".

Ok, that was goddamn it. It took every single ounce of strength I had left but there was no goddamn way my big brother was making this his failure. I peeled open one of my eyes first and I think I made some kind of grunting noise, which got Niko's attention.

"Nik?" At least I still had a voice, even if it sounded like my throat was sandpaper. I had to try.

"'m the one Nik, 'm the one who's sorry" I felt those gray eyes of his peering down at me sadly.

"it's ok Cal"

"m's not ok Nik! 'm so sorry, didn't mean..didn't mean any.."

"it's ok Cal, honestly" I met his gaze then, as the lightest of touches returned to the uninjured side of my head, my eyes were barely open but it was enough. We didn't need words. Words got us into more trouble than they were worth. We just looked at each other for a long while. I tried to tell him everything in that look, how sorry I was, how I hadn't meant all those awful things I'd said. I needed him to know. I needed to know...I needed to know I hadn't broken us.

"you never will Cal, you never could" he whispered down at me as he caught a stray whisp of my hair. I swear my brother was an actual superhero at the best of times, but sometimes he was just plain spooky. I wasn't one to give up easily though, my big brother taught me that.

"..but"

"no 'buts' Cal, I understand and its ok" Then he gave me that rarely seen little smile. My smile. Just for me.

"..but"

"sssshhsssh" he caught my gaze again.

"You will never drive me away Cal. You couldn't no matter how hard you tried" The warmth of his hand against my head was comforting, too damn comforting.. "and I will always come for you. I will always find you"

"Hey, hey, stay with me little brother" he raised his voice again, realising I was drifting.

"'lways, Nik?" I breathed, dragging myself back from the edge, for him. I know it sounded pathetic, but I didn't care.

"Always, little brother, always"

"sorry I ran" I mumbled "so sorry" I felt the mattress sag as my brothers weight settled to lie alongside me and I let the warmth of my safe and wonderful big brother soak into me.

"Nik, I.."

"I Know Cal, me too"

That time I could feel the smile, rather than see it. Somehow everything was ok again. He always made it ok. I had Niko. I hadn't lost him. It was everything. Everything that mattered, and it calmed me, completely.

The End

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A/N I know its probably far too fluffy but I hope someone likes it :) WS