CHAPTER 2
When Klink awoke, his room was pitch black and he couldn't make out the time on the cuckoo clock. He lay in bed waiting for the bird to tell him the hour. He listened and was surprised when the bird cuckooed once…and then stopped. It couldn't be. Klink rubbed his eyes and tried to peer through the darkness to see the window of his room. I went to bed at two! I can't have slept through a whole day! He thought in horror. I'm expecting the General!
He quickly got out of bed and slipped his bedroom slippers on. First, he went to the window. All was quiet. Then he went to his cuckoo clock to see if it was in any way damaged. Nothing. He gulped and immediately thought of Reed's ghost and his warning.
We interrupt this story to deliver a brief message.
One thing you must know, dear reader, is that Colonel Klink is a coward. A chicken. Yellow-bellied. He's afraid of nearly everything and is sometimes what you might call a "wimp". In other words, you may find him stammering and whimpering a lot throughout his experiences.
We now return you to your regular story. Thank you.
Klink's eyes darted around the room before he dived under his covers. The covers quivered and a whimper emitted from beneath them. Klink froze as a corner of his blanket was lifted by a small hand. Klink yelped and tried to burrow further into his covers, but the hand yanked the covers away.
Klink risked a peek and opened his eyes a slit. Standing beside his bed was a strange-looking individual. He was small in stature, like that of a child. At the same time he resembled an old man with his long white hair. But Klink noted that he had no wrinkles. Very strange indeed. The ghost also wore a pure white tunic and in his hand he held a fresh sprig of holly.
"Are - are you the spirit I was warned of?"
The stranger laughed lightly. His laugh reminded Klink of the tinkling of bells. "Warned? My goodness, you'd think I was some sort of burglar or something." The ghost's voice sounded as if it were at a distance instead of so near to Klink's bedside. "I am the Ghost of Christmas Past," he answered Klink's question.
"But that Englishman Lieutenant Reed made some mistake, you see. I'm not Kommandant Mueller! He was Kommandant before I took command here. So you can forget the whole thing and go on back to wherever you came from, alright?" Klink started to pull his covers back over himself.
The ghost stopped him by grabbing hold of the covers again. "I know you're not Mueller, Colonel Klink."
"You - you do?"
The ghost nodded. "Because, you see, I took Kommandant Mueller for his little joy ride last year. Reed did make a mistake."
"But why are you here then?"
"Well, I get a commission for every Kommandant or miser or what-have-you that I take through their past; if they learn their lesson. Since you haven't had your turn yet I decided to go ahead and give you yours. After all, you're already on our schedule for next year," The ghost said, smiling. "Well are you ready?" The ghost asked holding out his hand.
Seeing no way out of it, Klink took the ghost's hand. "Let me get my monocle." Klink picked up his monocle from the nightstand and put it on. "Where are we going?" he asked the ghost.
"The past, Colonel Klink. Your past." The ghost led Klink toward one wall of the bedroom; and though Klink tried to pull away, they kept walking toward the wall.
Klink started to protest. "But I can't walk through-" The stalag; his bedroom; everything vanished. "-walls," he finished, after they went straight through the wall. Klink looked around to see a small cottage in the middle of a large field. "I know this place!"
"Yes, this is where you were born."
Klink's countenance took on a dreamy look. "Ah yes. It was in February 1903 on Friday the 13th."
A rush of memories long forgotten came back to Klink as he looked upon the familiar surroundings. The meadow, now covered in snow, across the way from the house with the solitary tree standing in the middle. The house in which he had been born and had spent his early years was a small place but it held many memories for Klink.
"Shall we see the rest of the town?" The ghost asked.
"Yes. Yes, of course."
"Do you remember the way?"
"I could never forget!"
They walked along down the road into the small village. There was a cheery atmosphere around them as they began to enter the outskirts of the village. Several children ran by laughing, a small dog chasing at their heels barking joyously and joining in the fun. A horse-drawn sleigh passed them, the horse's harness bells jingling as he trotted on.
Klink looked around, his eyes filled with excitement at the familiar sights. Several people passed by them whom he recognized but it was as if they did not see him. When Klink inquired about this, the ghost answered, "They are only ghosts of the past and have no consciousness of our presence."
"Why, there's the school where I went to as a boy!"
"Yes. But it is not empty. There is still a child inside left alone."
Klink nodded uncomfortably, knowing who it was. Reluctantly, he followed the ghost to up the hill toward the schoolhouse. When they reached the top of the hill, they entered the school and there, sitting alone at one of the desks, was a much younger Wilhelm Klink.
The ghost and Klink stood by as the following scene unfolded before them. Two other boys entered the schoolhouse and began walking past the smaller boy. "Hey, four-eyes!" One of them called to the boy at the desk.
The boy ignored them and picked up the book he had been reading at his desk. As he ran out of the schoolhouse, the two other boys laughed and jeered mockingly after him.
"You were always the…eh…timid one as a child, weren't you, Colonel?"
"Can we please go now?" Klink inquired.
The ghost nodded and suddenly they were at another setting familiar to Klink. Another familiar scene from his past. This time, they were inside a small business place. A glass counter with rows and rows of Christmas pastries, breads, and cakes lay before them. A garland was strung above the door, and hanging just below the garland was a wreath with a bright red ribbon tied on it. The aroma of freshly baked goods met Klink's nose as they walked toward the counter where an older man and a young boy were talking. "I remember! I remember this place too! I had my first job here. I helped the baker and delivered packages for him."
They listened to the boy and the baker talk. "Wilhelm, I know you like to help but please stay out from underfoot."
"Oh, it's quite alright, Herr Reinhardt. I don't mind."
Mr. Reinhardt sighed and leaned on the counter with his head in his hands.
"What's the matter, Herr Reinhardt? Are you ill? Shall I fetch the doctor?"
"No! No, I - I just…Wilhelm, why don't you go home for the day? I'll send word for you again when I need you."
"Are you sure, Herr Reinhardt?"
"Oh I'm very sure. Now run along."
"But if you need help-"
"- I'll send word for you…a hundred years from now," he added under his breath.
"What was that, Herr Reinhardt?"
"I said, I'll see you soon. Güten Mörgen, Wilhelm."
Klink's face fell as he remembered something. "He never did call for me again after that," he told the ghost in a puzzled voice.
The ghost cleared his throat. "Shall we see another Christmas, Kommandant?" he asked. Again, the scene vanished and was replaced with another. "Here we are at the Klink family home. The year here is 1928. It should be very familiar to you."
Klink brightened and nodded vigorously. "Yes! Yes, I know."
Their new location was in the library of the Klink family's home. A large, sturdy wood desk was placed in the center of the library. Sitting at the desk was Klink's father. Standing on the side opposite his father was Klink at the age of 25.
The father leaned back in his chair and spoke. "Wilhelm, the reason I called you here is because I want to ask you something."
"Yes, father?"
"Have you given any thought to the career you wish to pursue?"
The son shifted uncomfortably on his feet. "Well…I've asked about work at the newspaper and-"
"The newspaper? Bah! Do you recall what happened the last time you were near a printing press?"
"Yes, sir."
"You set the presses back two weeks. Two weeks it took them to repair the damage to the press and get everything organized again!" The father paused. "Have you thought of the military?"
"No, sir."
"Well there you are then! The army would be perfect for you, Wilhelm! You can't be a baker, you can't be near a printing press, nor horses for that matter; You aren't good for anything, so why don't you join the army?"
"This Christmas was where my military career began," Klink informed the ghost. "It turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me! Did you know that Stalag 13 has the best record among all the other stalags? Not a single successful escape-"
"Yes, I know all that," the ghost interrupted him. "Come, there's something else I want to show you."
Now they were in a different house and now there was a young woman with Klink. They sat on a sofa as they conversed with one another. "Why, that's - that's -"
"¾ Hilda Grunwald," the ghost finished for him.
Suddenly Klink became very anxious. "Can we skip this one?"
The ghost didn't answer but listened instead to the conversation that was taking place.
"What's happened to you, Wilhelm?" The woman asked.
"Whatever do you mean? I'm the same man I always was. Well…maybe a bit more successful, but still the one and only Colonel Klink," he said happily, emphasizing his new rank.
"You see? That's exactly what I mean!"
"What?" Klink asked her, confused.
"You've become so…so arrogant and boastful. Not at all like you once were."
Klink looked offended at the statement as she went on speaking. "So I'm afraid I'll have to say 'no' to your proposal, Wilhelm." She got up from the sofa. "I'm sorry, Colonel. I hope you are happy with the life you have chosen." She left Klink sitting on the sofa, open-mouthed and stunned.
"Please, spirit! Take me home! I don't want to see any more," Klink pleaded with the ghost.
"These are only scenes from the past. We can't change them."
"Take me back home and haunt me no more! I just want to go-" Klink, very quickly, was overtaken by a sudden exhaustion as a swirling mist surrounded them and the previous scene vanished. The Spirit of Christmas Past was gone and Klink was back in his room. He managed to make it to his bed before falling into a deep sleep.