CHAPTER 3
Bang! Col. Klink jumped up and grabbed his monocle. He put it on and looked over to where the loud bang had come from, wide-eyed. It was the window. A heavy-weight man was coming in the window…or at least he was trying.
"Oops." He smiled, looking over to Klink, then went back to the struggle of getting in. The man was wearing a long green robe, and a holly garland on his head. He didn't have much hair, but what he had was white. And last but not least he carried a rifle…but it was empty and very rusty.
Klink cocked his head and again squinted his eyes, as he watched. Clod, Klink thought to himself. Now he saw it. The shutter had slammed against the building when the 'clod' came in.
A burst of cold air came in (along with enough snowflakes to make a DQ frosty). Klink shivered, and burrowed under his covers. Partially because he was cold and partially out of fear. He was peeking over the covers though, watching the stranger. Then it hit him. The strange, fat man closely resembled Sgt. Schultz! Not to mention he was even acting like him.
The man picked up his rifle after it had fallen on the floor, and then proceeded towards Klink, with a smile on his jolly red face. He only trotted about three or four steps, before he turned around still smiling, and closed the window. Then he went again to Klink, with the same goofy smile.
Klink pulled the covers up more. "Who are you?" He asked in a shaky voice.
"I am the Ghost of Christmas present!" The man replied, emphasizing his 'I', and rolling his r's just like a certain sergeant at Stalag 13 named Schultz.
"Whaaaat?"
"I said, 'I am the Ghost of Christmas Pre-"
"I know! I know!" Klink interrupted.
"Ah." The spirit mumbled. He wasn't smiling anymore. He looked annoyed at Klink's snappy interruption.
Just then, the cuckoo clock made its hourly call. The Ghost of Christmas Present listened as it cuckooed once and then stopped. He smiled and gave a small chuckle. "I'm a little early, no?"
"Oh, just a little." Klink nodded, irritatedly.
He chuckled again. "I am new on this job and I am supposed to come after the clock says it is one o'clock."
"Now…" He sighed, as he pulled out some sheets of paper from his costume. Several different expressions appeared on his face, as he read it to himself; and finally, he looked back up at Klink. "I was supposed to wait in the other room." He smiled slightly, and chuckled. "My father always said, 'If you are going to do something, do it right!'"
"Yes," Klink nodded, still irritated, "and have you ever heard of 'Do it right the first time'?".
The spirit left the bedroom, closing the door behind him. Not a second later, he opened the door and closed it again behind him. He then turned around and walked through the door. Klink's eyes widened and he whimpered as the ghost performed the action.
Not long after, a light came on in the other room, shining through to Klink's room from the bottom of the door.
"What is this?!" Klink whined. He got up out of his bed, put his slippers on and slowly walked over to the door where the light had come from.
He grabbed the door handle and swung the door opened, only to see the spirit waving a flashlight back and forth, with the light to the bottom of the door. Klink was dumbfounded. The spirit looked bored, but gave a nervous smile when he looked up to see Klink.
There was rustling of paper and then the spirit's voice. "Come in and know me better," he said the words in a staccato manner as if he were reading something.
Klink stepped through the door and the spirit spoke again, "Perhaps we should have more light." The spirit flipped on the flashlight. "Oh," he chuckled smiling, "sorry." He ambled over to the wall where the light switch was and flipped it on. He looked at Klink again. "I just got it," he explained holding up the flashlight.
Instead of the living room that should have been on the other side of the door, it was Klink's bedroom. But it was very different. All around him were greeneries, and so much food! Strudel, wiener schnitzel, apple pie, American chocolate, and so many different cakes; different dishes with meats and vegetables were also arranged neatly about the room. There were so many foods, that there were a number of them that he didn't recognize.
The spirit seemed to be having the time of his life though. He was taking pinches of this, pinches of that, and shoving it all into his mouth. A happy grin was plastered on his round face. Klink noted the blissful look as well.
The spirit groaned happily as he ate. "Oh, I'm in heaven!"
Klink cleared his throat. "Don't you have a job?"
The spirit tore his loving gaze away from the foods. "Hm? Oh yes," he chuckled, "I lost myself for a minute." The spirit pulled another paper out of his green robe.
"What's that?" Klink asked.
The spirit turned the paper around a couple of times. "Which way is right side-? Ah here we are." Then he spoke to Klink, "It is a map of where we will be stopping tonight."
"Where are we going?" Klink leaned forward trying to see what was on the paper.
The spirit hugged the paper against himself and then waved a finger at Klink. "You are not supposed to see this. It is not in the script."
"Script?"
Klink caught the look in the spirit's eye before the room disappeared. It was the classic look of 'the-boy-who-got-caught-with-his-hand-in-the-cookie-jar'.
They were in a place not familiar to Klink this time. It was friendly-looking home with a fire roaring the fireplace, several people chatting at one end of the room and some children playing at the other end.
"Where are we?" Klink asked.
"This is the home of your Sgt. Schultz's sister. The little boy you see over there stealing…eh, borrowing those cookies from the coffee table is Schultz's little nephew, Wolfgang."
"WOLFIE!" A woman's voice boomed.
Wolfgang startled and looked behind him at the woman. "Put them back."
"Yes, mama," the boy sighed and put the cookies back.
"You know we're saving those for Uncle Hans." The woman wrung her hands and peered out the window. "Oh I wonder what's taking him so long."
While she looked out the window, Wolfie grabbed a cookie and shoved it into his mouth. She quickly spun around to face Wolfie, his mouth full of cookies. She looked at the plate of cookies, and then back at Wolfie.
"Wolfie!"
"Mm?" His mouth still full of cookies, he couldn't speak.
"The cookies!"
"Mm!"
"There were more than that just a minute ago!"
"Mmm?"
"You took some behind my back didn't you!"
"Hm-mm!" He shook his head.
Just then the front door burst open, with snow flying in every which way. It was Cpl. Langenshneidt. Wolfie's mother ran over to the door and shut it.
"W-where's Hans?" She asked.
"Well…he-" Langenshneidt was cut off, in his reply.
"Oh! He's still outside, is that it?" A smile spread across her face.
"No, ma'am-" She had turned and opened the door. She went half-way out in search of her brother. He was no where to be found. She then walked slowly back inside and closed the door, looking confused at Langenshneidt.
"I don't understand…where's Hans? Isn't he coming?"
"No, ma'am." Langenshneidt replied sadly. "Kommandant Klink refused to give Sgt. Shultz the night off of guard duty. That's why I am here. Sgt. Shultz sent me to tell you."
Everyone gathered around, hearing the news. All with concerned and disappointed looks on their faces. Wolfie gulped down the cookies that he had stuffed in his mouth and his eyes began filling with tears. Uncle Hans was his favorite uncle and he didn't get to see him very often.
Wolfie's mother let out a growl of frustration. "Oh! That Kommandant!" Then her shoulders sagged and she let out a sigh. "I suppose nothing can be done about it now though. Would you like to stay and celebrate with us, Corporal?"
Cpl. Langenschneidt shook his head. "I'm sorry, Frau. But I am needed back at camp. Goodnight to you and merry Christmas!" He left, closing the door behind him.
Wolfie choked out a small sob, but then started coughing fiercely.
"Oh, Wolfie…I think it best you go to bed now. The doctor said you were to get plenty of rest."
Wolfie nodded and dragged an arm across his face, trying to hide his tears.
"This is terrible!" Klink told the ghost. "I had no idea Schultz was so needed among his family…Tell me, spirit, about the little boy Wolfie. Will he get better?"
"I see an empty bed and a broken-hearted family."
"No! Say he'll live."
The ghost shook his head sadly. "If the shadows I see remain the same and unaltered by the Future, he will not live."
Klink hung his head and thought about how rude he had been to Schultz when the sergeant had asked for night off. When he raised his eyes again, they were no longer in the Schultz's sister's home. They were at a place very, VERY familiar to Klink.
"This is one of the barracks at Stalag 13! Hogan's Barracks! What are we doing here? Why did you bring me here? Why are they still up? Lights out was hours ago!"
"Shhh! I want to hear what they are saying."
The entire barracks were strewn with tacky-looking paper chains, made with old candy wrappers and posters. LeBeau was standing over a small pot on the potbellied stove. He opened the lid and sniffed it a couple of times, and then began stirring more. Carter was sitting at the table trying unsuccessfully to thread a needle.
The door opened and Kinch and Newkirk came in holding something between them. Klink gasped when he saw one of the bushes from in front of his office. Except it wasn't in front of his office anymore. "Those fiends!" The bush was now in a large bowl as the two prisoners set it on the table.
"We couldn't find a tree so we snitched one of the Kommadant's bushes," Kinch told Carter.
Newkirk waved a finger at Kinch. "Ah ah ah! I prefer the word 'borrowed', Kinch, me boy."
Kinch just chuckled and went over to LeBeau to sniff the food.
In a matter of minutes Newkirk and Carter had the bush decorated with ornaments of foil fashioned into shapes of angels and stars. "Now for the finishing touch," Newkirk announced. He produced a larger star and place at the top of the bush. "There we are, the star of Bethlehem."
"Gee, that's swell, Newkirk! Where'd you get it?" Carter asked, admiring the topper.
Newkirk shrugged and brushed his fingernails on his jacket. "Let's say it found me and keep it at that." He smiled.
"You stole it?!"
Newkirk laughed. "No, I just wanted to see your reaction, mate. Kinch there made it."
"Hey, thanks for the star, Kinch!" Carter said to Kinch.
Just then, Colonel Hogan came out of his room. "Alright what's all this racket? Can't a guy get any sl-" His voice trailed off when he noticed the vast transformation of the barracks. "What-?"
"You like it, Colonel?" Carter asked grinning.
"Well, it's- it's…" - he stared at the mess of paper chains and foil - "It's something alright."
"Aye, that's right. It sure is, ain't it, sir?" Newkirk said proudly surveying the room.
Hogan was nodding slowly when his eyes fell on the bush in its makeshift pot on the table. "What is that?"
"Oh that? Well it's just a little something me and Kinch picked up, that's all."
"That's all?"
"Right, sir."
"Uh-huh. And I suppose it just happened to be already dug out of the ground, right?"
"Eh…well, sir, me and Kinch just happened to have stumbled across a shovel, sir. The poor little guy was just begging us to take him in out of the cold, so we thought we'd oblige 'im."
"Uh-huh," Hogan nodded, skeptically. Then he went over to where LeBeau was cooking. "And what have we here?"
"Mon Colonel, prepare to be amazed," he picked up a plate filled with something. "For the appetizer we have escargot" - Hogan made a face at the thought of eating snails. LeBeau didn't notice and went on - "and for dessert I have some strudel prepared."
The ghost sighed and elbowed Klink. "Mmmmm, strudel," he whispered dreamily.
"Well now, I say we sing a couple of carols to get our appetite up, what do you say, fellas?"
A cheer went up. One of the men brought a harmonica from his pocket and began to play an intro; Hogan began with, "A one and two, and three and four…"
"Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon virgin mother and child
Holy infant so tender and mild
Sleep in Heavenly peace
Oh, sleep in Heavenly peace
Silent night, holy night
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glory streams from Heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing alleluia
Christ the Savior is born
Christ the Savior is born"
When the song was finished, Klink sniffed and began to clap as the last strains of the tune faded away. "Beautiful, beautiful!"
"Yes, it was. And so is that strudel but we must go now, my time is growing short."
"Oh, but can't we stay just a little while longer?"
The ghost shook his head. "No, Kommandant. You still have an appointment with one more spirit."
"Oh yes…about that last spirit. I really don't think-" Before Klink could finish, the barracks and everyone around him disappeared and the area was plunged into total and utter darkness.