Ratigan's men toasted to each other, shouting to make their voices heard above the clamor of the bar.
"Here's to yet another successful heist!" Lewis exclaimed.
"Here's to Christmas!" added Henry.
The bar became silent.
"Hush!" Bill whispered. "The boss will hear you! You know how he feels about the holiday season!"
The alcohol in the eggnog had finally drowned Bartholomew's memory of his parents and sisters. This Christmas would be another drunken stupor rather than a painful reminder of the happiness he had shared with his family during his youth.
His logic gone, Bartholomew wandered outside for a few moments, instantly forgetting why he had left the tavern. The other henchmen listened as he began saying words of an old poem:
'Twas the night before Christmas
And…one moment here;
I can't finish this poem
Unless I have beer.
I'm an alcoholic,
Like almost any thug
Who works for Ratigan…
I've emptied my mug!
We're all out of beer?
I guess that's alright.
I'll just have a bottle
Of Rodent's Delight.
Brandy's not my favorite,
But I can get by.
Now, I was telling a story…
Oh yes! Where was I?
'Twas the night before Christmas,
I was feeling fine.
I'd finished my wassail
And was looking for wine.
The whiskey was great,
As was the chardonnay…
How'd I get over here?!
The pub is that way!
'Twas the HIC! before Christmas,
And all through the HIC!
Not a HICCUP! was stirring,
Not even a HIC!
I should go sleep this off…
HIC! Before this over,
I HIC! hope I don't have
A HICCUP! hangover
HICCUP! Here's to Christmas
St. Nick and all that!
HIC! Here's to my boss,
The world's greatest…HIC!
Wasn't there HIC! something else
I was supposed to HIC! write?
Oh yes: Merry HICCUP! to all,
And to all a good HIC!
Horrified at his words, the other henchmen tried to convince him to step back inside the bar. He finally did, much to their relief, and they managed to hush him, reminding him that he must not say "Christmas."
"I apologize," answered Bartholomew, who was, much against his will, begin to become sober again.
Fidget smiled. "It's fine, Bart. Ain't no one ever died from a slip of the tongue."