Felicia watched as the thugs returned to the lair. There were still times when her mind slipped, and she wondered what might have been if she had never become evil, but she truly enjoyed her job as a criminal mastermind's personal assassin. However, she did wonder who would win the constant battle of wits, the sleuth or the felon. She was surprised that they would fight even on a holiday, but when she thought about it, she realized that it was the only natural course of action for either party. She had heard stories of their close friendship in their youth, but she knew that neither would ever try to befriend the other again.
Having nothing better to do at the moment, she allowed her imagination to wander to what it might be like to have visitors.
'Twas the night before Christmas;
Enough of this fluff!
Let's skip right ahead
To the feasting and stuff!
Basil was deducing
Who'd been naughty or nice,
But I'd been awaiting
My meal of plump mice
That Ratigan fed me
This time every year,
Saying, "It's not legal,
But Basil's not here.
"Enjoy your meal.
I love you, Felicia."
When drunk with champagne
Those mice were delicious.
Yes, I was still waiting
For the sound of the bell
Before my great feast;
I'd surely be fed well.
I was eager to begin
My Christmas meal, but
My plans were soon thwarted
By one obtuse mutt.
"Toby," as they called him,
Lacked wits and acumen;
I despised this dog, for
He had his own human.
He thought he was clever;
He thought he was bright,
But he was dull as a drunkard
On Saturday night.
He'd tracked down some thug
To this lair of ours,
No doubt aided by the
Strong scent of cigars.
"Look, cat," he began,
"I'm here to solve a crime!"
I yawned, "Love to discuss it,
But haven't the time."
His droopy ears sagged
To the ground near his paws,
And I thought about shredding
Those ears with my claws
When all of a sudden,
One thought became clear:
The appearance of Toby
Meant Basil was near.
I knew the Professor
Would soon blow a gasket,
For he'd vowed he would see
The sleuth in a casket.
"Is it true," queried Toby,
"You eat mice that are dead?"
"Still alive," I answered,
"Or I'd stop being fed."
"But it's Christmas!" he argued.
I shrugged. "What of it?
You must leave now. My boss
Wouldn't like this one bit!"
He shook his head sadly.
"What a disaster!
Having the Crown Prince of
Crime as a master!"
"Leave now!" I entreated.
"Or there'll be a price!
Last time I was seen with you,
I got no mice!"
"But I came to offer
A much better dish!
Basil said you'd like it,
So I brought you fish!"
I looked at the fish
He was trying to give,
And decided right then
I would let the mice live.
I heard Ratigan's harp
And Basil's violin,
And I knew temporarily
They were friends again.
From this confrontation,
Not one murder or fight,
So Merry Christmas to all,
And to all a good night.
This would never be. She was sure of it. In fact, the cat wasn't even sure what the phrase "Merry Christmas" meant, for Ratigan forbade any manner of holiday celebrations. Perhaps one day, she would learn to share a special day with friends or family. Perhaps someday she would understand this word called "Christmas." Perhaps she would even…
Hearing the tintinnabulation interrupt her thoughts, she went to execute Ratigan's command. Yet another henchman would not live to see the new year.