Chapter 9: I Just Need To Tell Someone...
Stargazer's POV
I can't believe I didn't mention the date between Melody and Prowl. Then again, I did had to keep it a secret. I saw Yorketron give a light sigh before asking me face-to-face, "Why must you girls keep so many secrets from me?" I didn't even know how to answer that, so I did what I did best: Answer the best of my ability. "Well.. Were teenage femmes.. Sometimes, our secrets are worse then others.. And then, there are secrets that you are sworn to not tell.." I say, starting to cry again as he saw my tears, thinking himself what was wrong tonight. "And then.. You realize your mom doesn't tell you your little brother is dead a month before your birthday! And your so upset that you just wanna kill yourself, but you can't!" I said, feeling the rage bubble up inside me as my fists clenched up with one another as I tried to calm down, but couldn't. I was now mad about that reason. My mother never told me my little brother died, and that got me very, very upset. I then saw Yorketron come over to me, gently grabbing my arms as my fists slowly unclenched them slowly as I looked down, tears falling from my optics. "And when you try to bring him back.. You almost lose your own life, and can't stop blaming yourself.." I said before her gently tilted my chin up, looking at me once again. He saw the pain I felt, he knew I just had to get it off of my chest somehow, and this is how I would do it. By letting it out and my own anger without peaking it to its edge. "Stargazer... Even for someone like you, it is ok to let your emotions out.." Yorketron said to me with almost sadness in his tone as I shook my head. "Its not that easy.. When your born to try to be perfect like everyone else in the family.. Sure, Blazefire and I weren't always perfect, but our parents didn't care much! In fact, they were more focused on work.. Then us." I slowly said, shaking my helm. "I tried to deny other feelings but happiness, joy, faith, and nothing else.." I said sadly before he sat us both down as we sat lotus style. I guess he wanted to know more. I was prepared to tell him everything, no matter what. I wasn't keeping it inside, not anymore.
I wiped more tears, ready to go. "I'm ready when you are young one." He said to me, gently squeezing my hand as I nodded, starting off. "Well.. Blazefire was born a few months earlier then we hoped... This got me excited. Also a reason why I couldn't hang around with the girls much or come over.. Blazefire needed my attention since he was a early newborn." I said, starting off as he kept listening. I guess maybe he was like a dad to me. He listened to me, compared to my dad who barely paid any attention to me at all. "With my parents working so much, I took care of him on my own, with help from the girls and some other friends. I was like.. I had given birth to him. Whenever he cried, I came to him. If he needed me, I always was there for him." I stopped there for a moment to relax, breathing in and out slowly. "Then.. After a few weeks, he got sick. Very sick.. He would sleep, but wouldn't wake up until the next day." I said sadly, looking down. "When I took him in to see Ratchet, he said it was a miracle I arrived. If I didn't make it soon, the disease inside of him would have killed him quickly, but it was already too late for him.. He died a month later in the Intensive Care Unit.." I finished there for now, because everything else was just a blurr to me. Yorketron could see me again with tears in my optics before hugging me close to him as I hugged him back. "I.. I never said this before, but..." I started off, my voice a bit staticy as I finished the sentence off. "Your like the father I never had.. That's why I always rely on you for advice.." I started to calm down as he nodded. "Stargazer... You are like the daughter I never had.. Remember, the girls and I will always be here for you, no matter what. You can tell us anything that bothers you, understand?" He asked me as I nodded, understanding completely.
He understood me, so did the girls. My parents, however, were a different story. I was completely invisible to them, but I hope that changed soon. I knew it would, because soon, I would tell Jazz how much I loved him.