Chapter 9
The weeks that followed didn't bring about anything out of the ordinary to those working and living at the station. The rumors of an imminent war in the country were a delicate subject that divided the riders into factions. Kid was seriously considering going back to Virginia and fighting for the South, something that didn't sit well with most of his fellow riders, especially Jimmy. Therefore, they all tried to avoid the matter as much as they could, which was easier said than done since talk about the war was everywhere.
Doritha seemed to be the one who supported his beliefs. She said that it was the right and sensible thing to do and how proud she would feel when he wore the confederate uniform. Kid, though, wasn't as sure about this as she was. There were so many things to take into consideration that made him uncertain of what he should decide. He loved the land where he was born, but his home was now Rock Creek. Was it really worth fighting for simply memories, especially when they weren't all agreeable? That was what Virginia was to him now, only memories. His life was here in the west and he couldn't be blind or deaf to his friends' sound arguments either. Of course they couldn't understand what being a Southerner meant, but he had to admit that they were also right in some points. Kid didn't share some of the reasons why this war might break out. Slavery was something the Southern rider didn't agree with, and it was crucially linked to the reasons of the war, so if he finally decided to join the fighting, he would be supporting its continuity.
Meanwhile, things with Doritha weren't better but they weren't worse either. There hadn't been any more arguments between the couple partly because Kid had opted for hiding his feelings about most of her ways. It irritated him greatly how she did everything without getting his opinion at all. Of course, he was there with her all the time, enduring her soporific friends and those gatherings she was so fond of, but she never asked him what he wanted or how he felt. It was as if she didn't care about anything else as long as she did exactly what she pleased. Only once they had talked seriously, and it was when they had decided to set a date for their wedding. So now come rain or high water, they would finally get married at the end of the spring. There were still many months to come, and Kid hoped that by that time he would have found a place for them to live in and most importantly, Doritha would understand the life they were going to lead from then on.
To Kid's relief or peace of mind, Louise hadn't been mentioned by his blonde fiancée again. She seemed to have an irrational dislike for the brown-haired girl that the rider couldn't really understand. Doritha had admitted that she was jealous, and that was the reason why she had reacted so badly on both occasions that she had caught Kid talking to Louise. The Southerner thought that it was ridiculous of her to have all those feelings of jealousy. He hardly knew Lou, and there was nothing Doritha had to fear. They were going to get married, and she was the only woman in her heart. Louise was just a friend who he found very agreeable and somehow amusing. Kid hadn't seen much of her in these past weeks since that terrible argument with Doritha the day after his birthday, and all he had been able to do was exchange a few polite words with the petite girl. He had to admit that the fact that Doritha got all upset whenever he spoke to Lou weighed on his mind and subconsciously he tried to keep away from Louise and therefore out of trouble.
Apart from his own personal matters, life at the station continued as always and they had even had some happy occurrences as well. A couple of weeks ago Jimmy had received a letter from his sister, Celinda, in which she announced that she was expecting a baby. The news had been received with great glee by the riders, but Jimmy had kept an indifferent attitude. That was the way Jimmy was; never one to show his emotions publicly, but everybody knew that deep inside he was bursting with joy and pride. Years ago Hickok had fallen out with his sister for family problems, and it was only recently that they had started getting closer and repairing their damaged relationship. So this new addition to the family would help the two siblings to finish closing that gap between them.
Nothing much has happened to the rest except for Ike. The bald rider had fallen in love with a local girl and Kid could swear that this was the right one for him. Ike hadn't known her for long ... just a few days, but there was no doubt that he was feeling over the moon since he met her. The rider had never had much luck with women; as far as Kid knew, he had been in love only once before. It had happened when they had all been involved in this shady matter with the Hawk's band. The Southerner hadn't been present when Ike had tried to court and even propose marriage to this girl Annie but he had been told that his friend had fallen hard for her. The lady had been one of those mail-order brides and when she had arrived in Sweetwater, expecting to get married, she had been informed that the man she was supposed to marry had been trapped in a mine and with all security dead. Yet, this "deceased" man had survived against all odds and unexpectedly appeared when Ike had intended to propose to the girl. The rider had taken this disappointment the hard way, and months passed before he approached another woman with romantic intentions. The new girl's name was Emily Metcalfe and all the riders hoped that their friend finally found some happiness with her. He surely deserved some of that after all he had to go through in his life since he was a very young boy.
Last night there was a dance in town where all the riders had attended like usual. Kid had gone unaccompanied as Doritha had complained of a terrible headache and decided to stay at home. All the riders had spent most of the evening in each other's company while watching Ike and his beautiful girlfriend dance around the social hall. The boy couldn't look any happier and on watching them, Kid wondered if he looked the same when he was with Doritha. The Southerner knew that there were moments where he couldn't feel prouder or happier than when he was with his fiancée, but there were also these other moments in which his feelings were in real turmoil. Kid guessed that being in love wasn't always a bed of roses, but there was a little voice within him nagging and making him doubt his own convictions.
Strangely, as he stood in the hall, his thoughts went to Lou. He didn't expect to find her in the place as he knew that a social for her simply meant work. After the fun was over, it would be her turn to clean up the building. Maybe, Kid thought, he could hang about in town and wait for her. He'd love to have a word with Lou and see how she was doing lately. Yet, on second thoughts he felt that it wouldn't be right to search her company just because Doritha wasn't around. He had no excuse for almost avoiding Louise, and it irritated him that he was so easily influenced by his fiancée's weird dislikes. It would be better to leave things as they were, and maybe he might see her around town on another occasion.
The night of the social didn't end as happily as it had begun, at least for Ike and Emily. The girl's father had been killed as he was leaving the saloon while the town folks enjoyed themselves not far away. Emily had been quickly called, and Ike and the riders had followed her. When they arrived, her father was dead and Emily cried bitterly while shouting threatening words to the man who had killed him, somebody called Neville. Apparently, Mr. Metcalfe was a keen gambler and poker player, but he wasn't very good or lucky at it, ending up losing everything he owned. Emily was sick and tired of her father's destructive habits, but there was nothing she had been able to do to drive her father away from that world. Now it was too late and he had been killed by one of his playing companions. Ike and Buck had been furious when Teaspoon had told them that he couldn't arrest Mr. Metcalf's killer since the old man had been seen drawing and shooting his gun to Neville first.
The following day Kid was sitting at the bunkhouse table, playing a game of cards with Noah when Buck and Ike got back from the funeral. The bald rider seemed a bit too sullen, and Kid silently wondered what was crossing his mind. He could understand that Ike couldn't feel very high-spirited if the father of the woman he loved had been killed under those circumstances. Maybe he feared that Emily might decide to leave Rock Creek and go to live somewhere else. Somebody asked about the funeral and Buck answered curtly, not giving into much detail.
The bunkhouse remained in silence, when suddenly the door clicked open and Cody stepped in. He looked around and spotting Ike leaning against his bunk, he mentioned something about seeing Emily in town, heading for the saloon and how she had gone on by him without saying a word. Something of what Cody said must have touched Ike meaningfully and taking his gun he shot out of the bunkhouse towards town unexpectedly. His abrupt departure spurred the rest of the riders into action and they rushed after their friend, running wildly and frantically calling his name, but Ike never stopped. The bald rider turned into the street, and from his position Kid suddenly heard two shots simultaneously and when he finally reached the main street, Kid saw how his worst fears had come true. Ike lay at the saloon entrance, his chest covered in blood while Emily and Buck hovered over him shouting his name repeatedly.
The rest of the riders reached the terrible scene and without wasting any time, they carried Ike to the doctor's office. There was so much blood on his shirt front that Kid feared the worst. He knew that his other friends were thinking similarly and trying their best to shush those fears away. They were waiting on the porch of the doctor's office. It seemed forever that Ike had been inside and all of them were restless, pacing the length of the small porch or changing places every other minute. Emily sat on a rocking chair, weeping bitterly and whispering words of self-recrimination. Nobody came closer to her or tried to deny her accusations as they all felt that she was indirectly responsible for what had happened to Ike. Buck stood aside on his own and it was clear to Kid hat he just couldn't face the girl or anybody else. The Southerner knew that it was unfair to feel the way they did towards Emily, but she was an easy target to focus their frustration on for the situation Ike was in. Anyway, Kid didn't think it was his place to approach the girl and he wished Rachel hadn't gone to Seneca. Emily would really need another woman right now and not a bunch of men.
In that moment Teaspoon reached them and somebody asked about Neville. The man responsible for Ike's condition had been grazed by the rider's bullet, and Teaspoon stated in a warning voice that he'd let him go when he was sure none of his riders would go after him. The appearance of the doctor saved them from answering to Teaspoon's warning. The physician informed them that the boy had lost quite a lot of blood, and he had done all he could possibly do. The doctor's countenance told them that they should be ready for the worst. Buck stepped inside to see him and reappeared minutes later with a bitter expression. He didn't look at anybody and simply addressed Emily curtly to tell her that Ike wanted to see her and he instantly shot away, nobody being able to stop him.
They waited restlessly while Emily was inside. Kid heard somebody sighing, another voicing a complaint and next to him some words managed to get though his anxious mind. It was true; Ike was a strong man, and if there was someone who could pull through something like this, it was him. The gentle rider had had his share of wounds and accidents while riding for the Express, more than once they had feared for his life, but his vitality and strength had always got over everything.
Teaspoon stepped into the surgery to check on Ike and reappeared a few seconds later, looking notably older in that tiny lapse of time. He gestured them to get inside and with trembling legs the riders filed in the small office while the marshal remained outside. The sound of cries and sniffing from Emily reached their ears, and then they saw Ike lying on the makeshift bed. Kid couldn't breathe, couldn't react, couldn't move. He simply stood there, staring at his friend's still figure.
It was simply illogical and Kid couldn't believe that he was gone... for ever. A couple of hours ago he was perfectly fine and now... Jimmy's hand reached to close their friend's eyes and Emily's sobs increased, resounding in the silent room. Kid couldn't really tell how long they remained there, and in a blur he noticed the doctor ushering out of the room. He didn't even see or notice his friends leave and the Southerner stayed on the porch for long minutes. He felt very cold all of the sudden; a member of his family was gone and the sensation of loneliness permeated though all his soul overwhelmingly.
Without even thinking, Kid ran towards the station and not caring to search for anybody, he scampered towards the stables. Saddling Katy quickly he didn't waste any time and rode off. He needed to see Doritha and feel her by his side. Kid just didn't want to be on his own right now and the person who logically could bring him some comfort was his girlfriend. Katy hadn't stopped completely when the Southerner jumped off her on reaching the house where Doritha lived. The rider carelessly tied the animal to a post of the railing and stomped onto the porch in three strides. After knocking loudly, the door opened a few seconds later. Doritha appeared with a bright smile before his eyes, and before she could say anything, he threw his arms around her and held her against him tightly. His impetuosity took Doritha by surprise and noticing his ragged intakes of air she asked, "Kid, what's wrong?"
The Southerner pulled away slightly and blurted out in a husky voice, "It's Ike...he ...he's dead."
Shock and surprise registered in her face instantly and her words came out clumsily, "Oh my God! But ... but how?"
With a broken voice Kid then told her everything that had happened and resulted in his friend's death. Doritha listened to him carefully, and when his voice trailed off and he couldn't go on, the girl said, "Oh Kid, I'm really sorry." The young man nodded wryly and after a beat she added, "Poor Ike! But I have to admit that your friend has unfortunately paid a high price for his naiveté and trust in that kind of people."
"That's not..." Kid tried to retort, feeling the need to defend his friend's cause. Nobody had a right to say that Ike had died for his own faults, which was what Doritha was practically implying.
Yet, she didn't let him finish and said, "We'll go to the funeral. I gather it will be tomorrow, but I'm not sure if I have something black to wear," she spoke mostly to herself and lifting her gaze to Kid again she added, "But honey, I'm pretty busy right now. I have visitors."
Kid frowned unhappily, and from his position in the hall he spotted two girls sitting in Doritha's lounge. He recognized one of them as Allie McGregor, the mayor's daughter, but the other girl was a stranger to him. The Southerner shifted his eyes back to Doritha again and simply said, "Send them away then."
"I can't do that!" she whispered with an astonished expression at his senseless suggestion. "One of them is the governor's niece who's visiting with Allie!"
Kid's countenance hardened on hearing her excuse. "I see, but you have no problem in sending me away."
"Please Kid. Be a darling and don't give me a hard time," .Doritha whined, looking at him sweetly while she steered him towards the door. "I'll see you later."
Before he could react he was outside the house, and the door banged closed behind him. The Southerner stood on the porch dumbfounded for a few minutes as the laughing voices of Doritha and her friends reached his ears. He just couldn't believe that she had turned him away in this moment when he had come seeking her support and love.
The pain he was feeling about Ike's death devastatingly increased at the way Doritha had treated him just now. He really couldn't understand her and it baffled him how much she had changed over the years. Doritha had always been a caring and compassionate person and she had always been there for him when he had problems with his father while growing up in Virginia. She had been so genuine and never judged him for his problems. This gentle character of hers had been the main reason why he had first fallen in love with her so many years ago. And now... she seemed like a totally different person. What had happened to that little sweet girl? How could somebody change so much in a few years?
Unable to endure the sound of laughs coming out from the window, Kid scampered towards his horse and galloped out of the property like the wind. His soul was in turmoil and felt as if he were living the worst day of his life. Ike dying was a living nightmare in itself that he foolishly hoped to wake up from at any moment and now Doritha's apparent indifference to his pain had stabbed him devastatingly.
Riding Katy at a breakneck speed, Kid couldn't really see where he was going. Trees, rocks and bushes whizzed past him dangerously, but he just couldn't come to slow his frantic riding. Suddenly, a rider coming from the opposite direction appeared in sight and he heard him shout something and gesturing him to stop. Kid didn't know why, but he pulled Katy to a stop and when the rider approached him, he recognized Lou. She was wearing those masculine clothes that he had seen her in before, and her braided hair was covered with a big hat.
"Hey, Kid," she greeted, smiling in his direction.
"Hey," the Southerner let out in a thin voice, his eyes lacking all liveliness.
Louise was quick to notice his strange demeanor and asked, eyeing him carefully, "Something wrong?"
Kid simply nodded without explaining anything else. Lou was surprised to see him looking so glum and forlorn. Every time she had come across him, Kid had been in a jolly mood, teasing her and joking around, which admittedly had gotten into her nerves more than once. Even on the occasion when he had been upset with his fiancée and friends, he had joked around with her.
They stayed in silence for a few minutes, and then Lou didn't know what prompted her to say what she did next, "You know, if you need to talk about what's bothering you, I'm a good listener"
Kid lifted his eyes to her for the first time and said, "I'd love that."
They led their horses to a big tree that overlooked the green valley before their eyes. The view from this high point was spectacular and a feast for the onlooker, but today Kid couldn't appreciate anything around him. He wasn't really aware of Lou's presence or anything else, and practically followed her by sheer inertia. They slid off their horses and Louise lowered her body onto the ground and sat against the big tree trunk. Kid, though, remained on his feet and leaned his left arm on the tree. He felt awkward and uncomfortable and it took him a while to start talking.
The frustration and the pain poured through his mouth and without realizing it, hot tears began streaming out of his eyes. Strangely he didn't feel ashamed of them and it was as if he had opened a dam that had been threatening to burst and now he couldn't stop it anymore. Louise listened to him without trying to interrupt; she knew that he needed to get all that off his chest, and it would do him good to talk about it. She wondered if he was even aware that she was next to him since he kept his gaze in the distance ahead of him, never looking in her direction.
Kid managed to control himself for a moment and stepping closer to Lou, he dropped down next to her. "It's so unfair!" he exclaimed with a cracked voice. "Ike is… was one of the best people I have ever met, and his life had been shattered so senselessly!" As he talked, he unconsciously reached and grabbed her hand in his. Lou didn't recoil from his gesture as she knew that he was in pain and in moments like this everybody had the physical need to sense somebody close by. They remained like that, with their hands tightly intertwined while he continued talking. "I can't believe he's gone. I always knew that there was a strong chance that any of us could fall on the way. We've all had our fair share of narrow escapes. But … dying like that is just so unfair and senseless."
"Well… your friend thought it was worth dying for," Lou spoke for the first time.
"I guess," he let out bitterly. "I just don't know how I can go back to the bunkhouse tonight and see his empty bunk, his things…"
"Kid," Lou cut him off before he got any more emotional, "nobody dies completely. They stay with us in many other ways, in our memories, through what we learned from them or through the people they loved. Sometimes I still feel that my mother …," her voice trailed off as she noticed his eyes intent on her and sighing deeply she continued, "Kid, you don't have to face this on your own. You have your friends, don't you?"
"Yeah," he said softly, and as a thought struck him, he added, "I can't imagine what Buck must be going through. He's Ike's best friend."
"Well, you need to be there for him, don't you?" Lou replied. Kid nodded and they relapsed into silence once again. Louise eyed him out of the corner of her eye and said after a while, "There's something else bothering you, isn't there?"
Kid sighed deeply and let out wearily, "It's Doritha. I went to her place; wanted to be with her after what happened and … well… she sent me away because… uh… she wasn't feeling well." Lou sent him a skeptical glance and Kid added ruefully, "Fine… she was with a couple of ladies and just couldn't … wouldn't cut the party short."
"And you got angry," Lou stated without any doubt.
Kid nodded, feeling guilty for talking about his girlfriend with a person she had a certain dislike for, but he had the need to vent his frustration. "I know it's not right to talk about her like that with another woman," he said, feeling slightly embarrassed at his openness.
"I'm not another woman," Lou cut him off and as he lifted his confused eyes to her, she added, "I mean… there's no danger in that sense or another. I might be a man for that account. You know I'm not into this woman-man thing and well… you said yourself that you wouldn't be interested in me even if I were the last woman in the world."
Kid turned a shade of bright red, remembering the words he had told her those weeks ago in that ride to St. Jo when he had been so miffed with her. "Well, I didn't mean …" he started softly, but Lou didn't let him finish.
"Kid, don't spoil it!" she warned him with an authoritative tone and the rider couldn't help but smile briefly. After a while she said, "I won't tell you what I think about your girlfriend's attitude. That's for you to decide. Yet, I still can give you the best medicine to throw away all your demons."
Kid looked at her with a frown and asked, "What's that?"
"Riding," she replied as she jumped to her feet and slapped the dust off her pants. "But not like you were doing it before. For one moment I thought you were gonna bump that thick head of yours into one of those trees."
Kid smiled in admission; he hadn't been thinking straight and been riding like a madman. Louise was already on her black horse and looking at him mischievously she shouted over her shoulder, "If you catch me, I'll give you my horse."
With a loud 'ha', she spurred the animal into a fast gallop and was out of sight in a matter of seconds. It took Kid a few hesitant moments to spring into action and quickly mounted Katy, riding after Louise like the wind. The girl rode at about a hundred feet in front of him, and even though he pushed his mare as much as he could, he was unable to catch up with her. She was really a quick and skilled rider, and it hurt his manly pride to think that a woman could win him. They continued racing for about fifteen minutes and then she stopped her horse and sliding off it, she lifted a finger at him and exclaimed teasingly, "You loser." Louise smiled proudly and turning to him, she asked him, "How are you feeling now?"
Kid kept thoughtful for a brief moment, realizing that she had been right. Riding without anything else on his mind but trying to catch up with her had helped him to vent his frustration. "Actually I'm feeling slightly better," he admitted softly.
"Good."
"Only my pride's hurt," Kid added and Lou giggled in amusement. When she sobered, the Southerner walked a few steps closer to her and looking intently into her brown eyes, he muttered, "Thank you for listening and … everything. Seems you're always in the right place to straighten up my poor soul."
Lou felt her cheeks go red all of a sudden and turned away, nervous by his closeness. With her eyes downcast she toyed with the reins she held in her hands. "No need to thank me," she mumbled. "I didn't do anything."
"Yes, you did," he insisted stubbornly.
Lou shrugged her shoulders and without meeting her intense gaze she said, "Uh… I need to go now, I'm afraid. I start work in half an hour."
"I have to go too," he replied, "and see how things are at home." Louise gave him a half smile and when she was about to lift herself onto her horse, she stopped short as a 'hey' reached her ears. The girl turned her head towards him slowly and Kid added, "We should go riding together on another occasion. I really enjoyed it today." Louise nodded silently and without further ado she finally mounted her horse and rode away.