Still own nothing.
It took some convincing, but after a while Santana let me invite pretty much everyone from the "old" glee club to her impromptu baby shower. Everyone was happy to come, even Rachel and Kurt, who'd not always been on the best terms with her. I guess age really does change people.
The whole week went great and everything was moving way too quickly. Santana was happy and smiling, snapping at people in a way that was exactly like her old self. Her face was glowing and her tummy had ballooned to the size of a basketball.
She rarely mentioned Tony. It was like he didn't even exist anymore. I only tried to bring it up one time, and she'd been so quick to brush it off I didn't try to bring it up again. It made me feel weird and worried that she didn't want to talk about it, but I didn't know what else to do. Santana was such a strong person... I wanted to think she could handle it all on her own, but I was starting to worry I was just fooling myself.
Santana came over for Thanksgiving, which I highly appreciated. She said she would have just been sitting at home anyway, since her parents had pretty much disowned her after she moved in with "that trouble maker Tony." From what I know, he had spent a couple years in juvie for beating up some kid in high school, who ended up in a coma for a couple weeks after.
San swears back and forth he's a changed person, but I have this funny feeling he's not.
On black Friday I discovered that pregnant Santana is just as shopping crazed and violent as the not-pregnant one. With one hand on her belly and the other on a shopping cart we scoured the baby isles, picking up a stroller for 15 dollars and a new crib for 30. She shoved people out of the way for newborn outfits and snatched away baby shoes from other moms without a blink of the eye.
I stood back and watched the whole time, standing in awe of my best friend, along with all the other customers who were afraid to stand in her way.
When we got back to her place we laid everything out on the living room floor, sorting through sizes and colors, winter and summer clothes covering her floor.
"I guess were going to have to convert the guest room into a nursery." She was mumbling as she searched for someplace to store her diapers.
"Aw, so where will I sleep?" I joked.
"With me, like you have been all week."
I don't know why, but my cheeks burned when she said that. It was true; we'd slept in the same bed every night, just as we had when we were in high school. The first night or two it was because we'd been talking or watching movies, but even after that I didn't want to sleep in the guest room. I missed San too much.
"It's gonna be way easier when there's not a watermelon in bed with us." I mumbled, making her laugh. I started re-bagging the clothes in the order Santana had put them in
After a few minutes she wandered back into the room, dropping down on the couch and pulling a blanket to snuggle under. "Antonio probably wouldn't like it..."
I turned to look at her from my place on the floor. "Like what?"
"You visiting. He won't want you coming to see the baby either." She put a hand over her belly.
"Oh..." My heart sank at the thought. I wanted to be mad and ask questions and demand answers, but I knew that would only make her want to talk less.
"But you'll see her. I know you will. He goes out of town a lot, so you can always visit then." She was talking to the air. Like I wasn't even there, and she was having a conversation with the air.
"I want you to be here for her. To be here for me... I can't do it alone..." I could see the tears in her eyes as she fought herself not to cry. I crawled over to the couch, kneeling beside her and running my fingers through her dark hair.
"It's okay. You won't be alone. You'll have Tony." She shook her head, closing her eyes tight as stray tears slipped down her face.
"I'll be there. I'll always be there. All you have to do is call. You know that." I leaned in to place a little kiss on her cheek.
All I meant was to comfort her. I just wanted her to stop crying, and to show her that someone still loved her, even if it wasn't her stupid shitty boyfriend. But in the millisecond before my lips touched her cheek she turned her head, meeting my mouth with her own.
It was too calculated to be an accident. Far too intentional, and as my mouth froze in surprise she moved a hand to the back of my head to hold me in place. Her lips moved against mine, desperate and needy, pleading for me to respond. So I did.
It was strange, because as gay as I am and as much time as I've spent with my best friend, I never thought of her in this way. I've never wanted to kiss her or hold her in any way other than the way you would a friend... but she sobbed against my lips and her fingers gripped my shoulders hard, I realized that this was exactly what I wanted.
And it was so wrong. Santana was pregnant and she had a boyfriend. She had a house and a job and family... yet she was so unhappy. It was like I could feel everything in the kiss. She was lonely and scared. But why? And of what?
She wasn't going to tell me, and I knew better than to ask.
She pulled away all too quickly, turning away to lay flat on her back. Her eyes were red and puffy and her face looked pale.
We didn't say anything about the kiss. Not then, not for the rest of the weekend. Never again. It was like it never happened.
I learned never to call Santana first. Chances were if she wasn't on the phone with me, he was around. It's funny because we would go weeks without talking, but then sometimes we would talk every day. Then other times she would call once or twice, on lunch break or in the middle of the night.
Those were the calls that scared me most. Sometimes she would be crying, giving me the excuse of pregnancy hormones or that she was having a bad day. Other times she would just be really quiet, saying she missed me and asking when I would be coming home next.
Her boyfriend rarely came up, even though we both knew he was the source of all her problems. When she did talk about him, she would usually say he was away on some work funded trip, or visiting his Mom. She said he was being good to her, though I doubted that with the amount of crying she was doing. He had promised he'd try to stay home more once the baby came, but it was a lie.
Antonio was hurting Santana, I could tell. I just didn't know how or why.
Santana went out of town the same time I came in. She was visiting Tony's parents for Christmas, and I was stuck sitting around my mother's over decorated tree, opening gifts I didn't want and pretending to like things I'd never use.
On New Years' Eve I was up in my old room, staring out the window and slowly willing myself to fall asleep. I just wanted to go back to California. Well actually, I wanted to go see San, but that wasn't really possible.
I didn't hear the bell ring, so when I heard the door creak open it scared the shit out of me. I jumped up, still half asleep, and had to catch myself to keep from falling over. Then the lights flickered on and I saw a pale, tired looking Santana standing there with a shopping bag and a pair of sunglasses on. "Are you sleeping? On New Years'? It's not even nine o'clock yet, what's wrong with you Gramma?"
"SANTANA!" I skipped over and threw my arms around her neck. "I missed you! I missed you so much!"
"Careful!" She put a hand between me and her swollen belly, but used the other to wrap around my waist. "I missed you too."
"Wait what happened? How are you here?" I was saying directly into her ear. I missed her too much to move away, so I just kept hugging her.
"Tony wanted to go to this party, but I'm clearly in no shape for that. He dropped me off at home and I took the other car to come see you." She slowly inched her way out of my arms and turned to look me in the eye. "You're fucking adorable, you know that?"
"Thanks..." I answered, but I was suddenly distracted. Through her glasses I could see her eye was puffy and dark looking. "What happened?" I asked, pulling her glasses off her face before she could say anything.
She opened her mouth, but no words came out. Her eye was almost swollen shut, and the underside was such a dark blue it was almost black.
"He did it." I said, not sounding the least bit worried nor shocked. I knew something was going on, but she wouldn't tell me what. I never dreamed it would be this bad though, yet somehow I wasn't the least bit surprised.
San just shook her head, staring at the floor.
"Don't lie Santana I know it was him. That bastard..." I walked out of the room to go in the kitchen and grab one of the ice packs in the fridge. They were from when I was in high school and cheerleading practice would kick my ass, but Mom kept a lot of stuff around 'just in case.'
When I got back to the room Santana was sitting on the bed, looking almost like a child in trouble. I handed her the ice pack and pulled her down to lay next to me on the bed.
She cried a lot. I didn't say anything, and I hate myself for it. I just held her as she fell asleep in my arms, watching the clock slowly tick past midnight. As one year faded into the next I felt my heart sink. Nothing would change this year. Santana would still be with Tony, he'd still be hurting her, and I'd still be all the way across the country with no way to help her.
The only difference would be poor Elieana, sitting in this middle of all this mess. My heart hurt for her, and I wish I'd known what to do. Or had the courage to do it.
I sincerely apologize that this update took so long. I've been working an awful lot, and even though this chapter has been written for about a month now, I just finally got around to editing it. I also have a one-shot in the works, but its very long and it's going to take a while to edit too, so don't get your hopes up for anything anytime soon. Although, I'm already working on the next chapter of this so cross you fingers and maybe it will end up on here in the next couple days!? Who knows, I'm psychotic and a little flighty so it might take a while. I LOVE YOU FUCKERS! KEEP REVIEWING, IT MAKES MY SOUL SMILE!