I didn't realized I had 14 missed calls from Santana until I was already in the car, and before I could even dial she was calling me again.
"Hello?" I answered, already nervous because I knew what was coming.
"WHAT THE FUCK FABRAY?" She yelled into my ear. "You say you're going to text me, and an hour later I'm still sitting here on my butt waiting for the alleged text."
"Do you normally curse like that around your child? She's going to pick that up, you know."
"Jesus Christ Quinn-" she started to talk, but I quickly interrupted her.
"Hey hey, as a former member of the Christ Crusaders and president of the celibacy club I take great offense to you using the lord's name in vain like that."
"¡Oh Dios mío! No puedo creer que tú, perra blanca loca, you're lucky I love you! Me estás volviendo loco!" She was yelling.
"Did you just call me crazy bitch?" I asked in genuine shock.
"No, I said perra BLANCA loca." I could hear her laughing as she said it a second time.
"So you calling me a crazy white bitch somehow makes it better? You know that's no way to treat the godmother to your child, who it currently driving 80 miles an hour to the middle of fucking nowhere for you." I huffed.
"I didn't say I wasn't grateful! And slow the fuck down Quinn, we're not going anywhere. Elie finally fell asleep in her car seat so I might just sleep in the car. She gets all fussy when I wake her up."
"Jesus Santana, you know I left a beautiful naked woman in my bed to come save your ass, I'd like to think you'd be more polite."
"Woah, wait, did you say naked? Like NAKED naked?"
I slapped myself in the forehead, once again forgetting who I was talking to. No matter what I'm saying, Santana always catches every dirty thing that comes out of my mouth. "Yes naked, okay?"
"Is that what you've been doing for the past hour?" She giggled.
"Yes, Santana, I was having sex okay? I don't know why you're getting all up in my sex life when you haven't even spoken to me in a year." I grumbled. She got really quiet on her end, and I knew a good person would say sorry. But I wasn't sorry, and Ashley was right about not regretting things. I wasn't going to say sorry for saying things I meant.
"It wasn't my fault okay?" Her voice was far away now.
"Yeah, okay." I said, sounding bitter.
"So I guess you two are pretty serious?"
I sighed, knowing that this conversation could seriously last the entire 4 hour drive there, and I wasn't ready to talk about it just yet. "We can talk about it when I get there okay? Try to go to sleep, I need to focus on driving."
"Okay. Stay safe hun." She said, then she hung up before I could respond.
It was 5 in the morning when I got to the hotel. I pulled up next to San's car, and found her curled up in the back seat next to Elie's car seat. My heart hurt so much, seeing them together and knowing what they'd been through to get them there. And as much as I wanted I yank the door open and pull them both into my arms, I knew they'd barely slept and I wasn't going to be the one to wake them up.
So I did what Quinn does best. I yanked out my computer and silently thanked whatever deity kept my car from getting robbed at night, even though I consistently forget that I'm no longer living in Lima and I can't just leave my purse on the seat and the car unlocked. And then, armed with my laptop and a crumpled up sheet of notebook paper I found on my floor, I went to work on finding ways to make things better.
I seriously almost peed my pants when I heard a tap at the window. Thankfully, it was just my best friend and not a psychotic mass murder.
"SAN!" I yelled, throwing the door open so fast she almost fell over.
"Jesus Christ Quinn, are you trying to kill me?" she asked, but I ignored her, throwing my arms around her neck. She stood there in shock for a moment or two before wrapping her arms around my waist, and then we were crying again. Both of us, at the same time, crying and laughing and looking crazy.
"Quinn I'm so sorry." She blabbered. "I didn't mean any of those things I said. I didn't mean it at all and I swear to god I'll feel bad every day for the rest of my life because of it."
I sighed. Her saying sorry didn't make anything better, and it certainly didn't make it alright. "I don't want to talk about it right now San." I pulled away to look at her face. She didn't look the same, not really. She had dark circles around her eyes and a tiny scar coming from all the way behind her ear down under her chin. I ran my finger over it, which made her eyes fall to the ground. I didn't even have to ask where it came from. This wasn't my Santana at all, but I knew she was still in there somewhere.
"We have a four hour car ride back to Lima. We can talk about everything then." I wiped the tears from my eyes. "But right now I need to see Elie. Like, immediately."
"Oh! Of course! Hold on, she was still asleep…" She ran around to the other side of the car. The second she opened the door I could hear the babbling Santana talked about in all her letters. "Hey baby girl, Mama's here…" Santana cooed in a voice that sounded nothing like her own. She sounded softer and sweeter, in a way that made my heart melt. "Hold on Elie, I got you. Yes, that is a car, good job. Here we go…"
My eyes welled up the second I saw her. She had Santana's smooth skin and tanned complexion, and the chubbiest little cheeks I've ever seen. Her eyes were still that wise grey color that they were when she was born, and her hair was thick and curly, and it fell in her face a little, right over her eyes. She looked so much older than just 12 months.
"Look Mama, look who it is." Santana was saying to her. "Remember her from the pictures Elie? This is your god mommy. Look." She lifted my wrist up to show her the charm bracelet. Elie looked at it and wrinkled her forehead the same way Santana does when she's thinking too hard, and then lifted her own wrist, shaking it so the charm clanked against the chain. She smiled, turned to me and lifted her fat little hands in the air, practically jumping out Santana's arms so I had to catch her.
"Woah, princess, you're gonna give your Mommy a heart attack." I said, grabbing her before she went face first into my car. She giggled and clapped her hands, making the charm jingle again.
"She does it all the time, whenever I see your Mom. She's the only person she'll go to other than me, and you too I guess." Santana shrugged.
"I got you something." I said to Elie, who started playing with the sequins around the edge of my tank top. "Can you get it San, its sitting on the backseat?"
"Sure." She said, reaching in the car and grabbing the toy I'd picked up from K-mart on the way.
"MONTEY!" Elieana squealed when she saw it. It was a little brown doggy with a blue vest.
"I wasn't sure what it was, I just saw them all over the store and I figured it was probably really popular…" I told Santana.
"Yeah, she knows who he is, don't you Elie?" Santana said, handing it over to the fidgeting girl in my arms. "Where'd you see Montey Elie?"
"TV!" She yelled, immediately hugging the stuffed puppy as tight as she could. I laughed at her, wondering how I'd missed out on a whole year of this. Last time I saw this girl she couldn't even hold her head up, and now she was talking.
"I don't mean to rush things, but Elie needs to be changed and eat breakfast soon, or she'll start throwing a fit." Santana said. "And I'm kind of all out of gas."
"I got it, don't worry, I saw a gas station up the road." I said, shifting her weight to one side.
"Actually, I kinda was hoping to just leave the car here. It's not even in my name… They told me they arrested Tony while I was in the hospital, but I know he has the money to make bail, and the friend's that will get him out. And as soon as he realizes we're gone, this is what he's going to be looking for." She got it all out in one breath, and I could tell there were a lot of things she was aching to say. But there were other things we had to take care of first.
"Okay. Okay, we'll figure it out. Get her car seat and your stuff out the car. There's a Denny's like, 10 minutes away from here."
Santana nodded, and gave me the same look she'd been giving me all day, like she was disappointed and happy all at the same time. It looked exactly like how I felt.
I didn't realize how insanely hungry I was until I realized I'd scarfed down an entire omelet in less than five minutes.
"Dear Lord Quinn, do I have to feed you like I do Elie? You have stuff all over your face."
"Shut up." I grumbled, wiping my face with the paper napkin and taking a big swig from my glass of orange juice. "Stress makes people hungry, and you stress me out."
Santana laughed, spooning this greenish looking gunk from a jar into Eli's mouth.
"What is that anyway?" I asked, making a face.
"Some type of organic shit that cost twice as much as regular food. I saw a special on discovery channel that said that sometimes they put this fatty stuff in regular baby food to make is spread out more or something, I don't know." She sighed, wiping Elie's face on her bib. "I wouldn't have cared if they didn't show pictures and stuff, but they did. It was yellow and gunky and disgusting and since then I've been buying organic."
I smiled at her. "You're a good mommy, San. Except for the excessive use of profanity in front of your child."
"I forget." She huffed. "It just kinda slips. I think I'll get better when she actually starts speaking full sentences and stuff, because I may have a heart attack if she starts yelling puta estúpida! Like her mommy does."
I giggled at her, crossing my arms and wishing I'd remembered to put on that jacket Ashley had handed me. It was cold in the restaurant, and I was still in my pajama shorts and a skimpy tank top.
"You're not wearing underwear, are you?" Santana asked out of nowhere, making me cough on my juice. She didn't even look at me, just smirked and continued feeding her daughter.
"Uh, what?" I asked, once I got air back in my lungs.
"Underwear Q? Panties? You got any under those booty shorts you're wearing?" She made a face at Elie, and she started giggling and clapping her hands again.
"Yes." I lied, scoffing.
"No you don't." She said with that knowing smile. "You keep shifting in your seat, it's a dead giveaway. Plus you're not wearing a bra, which is sort of shocking for you, seeing as you wear them to sleep."
"I was in a rush okay? Jesus, is it that obvious?" I asked, looking down at my chest.
Santana chuckled. "Your boobs are fine Q, perfectly perky, which I completely envy by the way. Mine are yet to return to normal since breastfeeding this little monster." She said, pinching Elie's cheeks. "I would just get another boob job, but it's not really worth it now. Not when I'm in mom jeans."
"I think your beautiful Santana." I commented earnestly.
"Not when I'm rocking Mom jeans and Saggy tits." She sighed. "And stretch marks."
"Hey, you're not the only one with stretch marks hun. Beth took a serious toll on my body. I still wear a one piece to the beach. If that doesn't scream mother, I don't know what does."
That made Santana smile. "I think your beautiful too Quinn." She said. "Even with your pretty pink nips sticking through your shirt."
I gasped and crossed my arms again. Now I definitely regretted not bringing my jacket.
The first hour into our journey back to Lima would have been completely silent, if it wasn't for Elieana babbling in the backseat, calling out everything she saw. Everything tall was a tree, whether it was a person, a stop sign, or an actual tree. Then as we were driving past a farm I heard her yell "perrito! MAMA! Perrito, perrito!" as she smacked the window.
"That's a grande perrito baby." Santana said, laughing and staring at the window at the cows in the field.
"What's that mean?" I asked.
"Puppy. It's the only animal she knows, so everything's a perrito." She said, chuckling to herself. "Even, like, chickens and stuff."
"ARF ARF!" Elie barked, making me laugh again.
"She is so smart. I can't believe she's only one." I said, in awe of the child in my backseat.
"Yeah. When we're in the store and stuff people don't believe me when I say she's twelve months. She's so big and she talks SO much. I mean, she only knows like 9 words, but she says them all the time. It's crazy." Santana shook her head. " Let's see, she knows Mama, TV, Bubbie, Car, Montey (of course,) perrito, tree… I think that's it. Oh and No. She says no a lot, but she doesn't say yes yet. And then she knows some sounds. Hey Elie, what's the león say?"
In the rearview mirror I could see her wrinkling her little forehead. Then after a moment or so she looked up at her mommy, her eyes lighting up and getting the biggest smile on her face. "ROAR!" She screamed, scrunching her little fingers up like claws.
After a while Elie's jabbering came to a screeching halt. Like literally, she was talking one second and the next it was silent. Santana glanced back at her. "Oh thank god, she went to sleep. She going to be hungry when she wakes up, and then she'll want another nap."
"Are kids supposed to sleep that much?" I asked. It was around eleven, so I figured that would be about a normal naptime.
"Well as they get older you're supposed to wean them in to only one nap instead of two, but I just kinda let her fall asleep whenever she feels like it. It's like my own personal quiet time."
"And what do you do with that personal time?"
"Clean mostly. Watch TV… And think a lot." She sighed.
"Think about what?" I inquired.
"You." She said bluntly. I laughed, assuming she was joking. Judging by the face she made, she wasn't.
"What? I mean… why?"
"Because I missed you like crazy. I wanted to know how things were going with you. I bumped into your mom at the grocery store all the time… She'd mention one or two things, but not much. And I wouldn't ask because Tony was always around, and he would get sort of annoyed when I would talk about people he didn't know. It didn't really make sense to me…" she sighed, staring out the window.
"Keep talking." I told her. "I want to know this stuff. I want to know everything."
"Where do you want me to start?" She asked.
"The beginning. How you met, when this all started… all that."
She sighed. "It's a lot Q…"
"I need to know. I drove all the way here from New York, I'm putting my job on the line, I dumped my girlfriend-"
"Wait what?" She interrupted.
Then I sighed. "That's not important. I mean it is, but that's not what we're talking about."
"And your jobs on the line?" Santana asked.
"Yes. It is. But I don't regret it. Not one bit. I'm doing this for you San, and that baby girl back there who, I swear to god, I will never let sleep in a car outside a some cheap motel again. She deserves more than that, and so do you." Santana was crying now, but I couldn't stop. "I'm angry at you. I probably will be for a while. But there are other… feelings I have for you Santana that mean so much more than that. So please… Please just tell me the truth."
Santana didn't say anything for a few minutes. Just stared out the window, crying really quietly. "Please?" I asked again.
"Fine, okay? Fine."
Okay this chapter was much harder for me to write than most, and I honestly don't like it as much but leave a review and tell me what you think. The next chapter will be up within 24 hours. Love ya fuckers!
xx, Turtle