Again, typos. Forgive me. Its two in the morning and I'm no where near sober. Enjoy.
The next day we went to work fixing all the broken things. Santana and I went to the court house to talk to somebody about getting a restraining order against Antonio. It took us almost an hour to get to a lawyer, which meant an entire hour of Elie, waddling around squealing and banging on things.
"Jeez, Quinn what did you feed her this morning?" Santana asked
"I don't know. It was orange with brown chunks in it."
"Elieana Maria Remirez, get your butt back over here." Santana scolded. The child turned to her, making her eyes wide and pushing out her bottom lip. She let go of the curtain she was yanking on and plopped down on her bottom, turning to face the wall and pout.
"Aw, San look what you did." I started to get up to go get Elie, but held my arm, keeping me in place.
"She's faking, watch this. Elieana! Venir aquí!" The baby started crawling over to her mother very slowly, and just as Santana leaned over to pick her up she quickly turned away. She crawled as fast as her chubby legs would take her, giggling as her mommy took off after her.
Santana sighed when she finally got back to her seat, Elie sitting in her lap clapping her hands with a big grin on her face. A few minutes later the secretary called us into a big office.
The room smelled like mothballs and peppermint, and the guy sitting at the desk had three chins and a suit that looked like it had to be sewn on in the morning. "Sorry to keep you waiting folks, I've been on business calls all morning. I guess that's what happens when there are only seven lawyers in the county though." He stood up to shake our hands, and give Elie a little poke on the tummy. "I guess you're responsible for all that noise I heard in the lobby." He said, and she looked him up and down and yelled "TREE!"
"Okay Ladies, my name is Bill Fredricks and I'm in charge of the domestic violence, divorce, and other family related cases here. What can I do for you two?" He adjusted his tie as he spoke, presumably trying to loosen it enough to get oxygen into his lungs.
"Uh… I need a restraining order." Santana was fidgeting with her hair, like she always does when she's nervous.
"Okay, I need to know who against and the reason why." He began typing away on the computer.
"Antonio Remirez." She said quietly. Bill's face went pale when she said that, and he turned to her, looking like his eyes were going to fall out of his head.
"You're Santana Lopez?" He asked. She nodded, and I could see the blush creeping from her ears all the way to her neck. "We've been trying to find you! Antonio just got out on bail not too long ago, and his hearing is supposed to be next week. We needed to know whether or not you wanted to press charges. I'm so glad you came in today, because if you don't show up next week we'll have to throw out the whole trial."
"I don't think I want to-" She started, but before she could finish I interrupted her.
"Santana are you crazy? If you don't press charges he's not going to pay for what he's done."
"I know that Q, but I don't want to go through all that." She sighed, shifting Elie on her lap and pulling her closer.
Bill cleared his throat, making both of us turn to look at him. "With all due respect, Mam, I'm not going to be able to file a restraining order unless you have full custody of your child, which I assume you don't. You have to go to trial either way, whether it's a custody hearing or a lawsuit."
Santana sighed, getting that defeated look on her face that worried me. She didn't want to do either of those things, and if I didn't talk some sense into her immediately this would not turn out pretty. If it was up to her we would just skip town and hope he never found us, and I wasn't willing to take that risk.
After half an hour of begging (from me,) and reasoning (from Bill,) Santana still wouldn't budge. I could tell he was getting frustrated and I was pretty annoyed myself, and I knew it was going to take something drastic to get her to change her mind.
"I'll let you feel me up." I blurted out, right in front of the sweaty lawyer. Santana's eyes went wide, but I could see that impish glimmer in her chocolate colored orbs. Bill, on the other hand, was red in the face with embarrassment and confusion.
"Deal." Santana said, smiling.
"Excuse me, are you two soliciting sex in my office?" He asked.
"It's not what you think." I said quickly. "I'm gay, and she's confused… And we're kind of in love with each other so it's not like, prostitution or anything. It's more a like… a bribe."
"Oh, so you two are like… A couple?"
"Um…" I looked at Santana, who was sitting there snickering through this entire exchange. "I'll let Ms. Lopez answer that."
Santana looked at me, then the lawyer and shrugged. "I guess we are. She gives me butterflies and shit."
Bill looked incredibly uncomfortable at this point. "Okay then, let's get back to the matter at hand, shall we?"
My mother finally called on Saturday morning. I had decided to let Santana explain things to Mom herself, and before she even hung up my mother had booked a flight that would have her home early Sunday morning.
"Have you decided where you want us to move?" I asked after she hung up.
"I've been thinking about it, but I'm still not sure. I know I definitely need to get back in school and get a job and a car and… ugh." She started pacing back and forth. "Everything. My life is a damn mess, and I'm seriously wishing I'd just kept my damn legs closed-"
"Stop." I said, grabbing her and pulling her on the couch next to me. "Stop right there, because that's not true. If you'd kept your damn legs closed you wouldn't have me or that beautiful little girl over there." I pointed to where Elie sat in front of the TV, holding Montey.
"I know, I know…" she sighed. "There's just so much I have to do and I should be done with it by now and I'm not."
"I know what you mean… but let's start here." I grabbed my purse off the floor. "I was looking up some stuff that day I picked you up at the motel. I forgot to give this to you…" I handed her the crumpled up sheet of paper.
"What is this?" She asked, unfolding it.
"Okay, I know it looks confusing but it's a list. On the right are places hiring in New York near my job and on the left are places near the college in California. Most of them are offices, because you have experience with that. Now flip it over… These are all colleges online. I don't really know what you want your major to be, so these are just a few that I know have really good programs."
"These are all online classes?"
"Well, everyone except the last one." I shrugged,
"Angela's School for photography." She read, raising an eyebrow.
"Yeah… I saw the pictures you sent me. I know you only took one of them, but I just got this feeling. I don't know… I can tell pictures are important to you." I could feel my cheeks turning red.
"They are… I mean I've thought about it before…" She trailed off, standing and walking to my room.
"Where are you going?" I yelled. I heard something rustling around, followed by a bang. "What was that?"
"I knocked some stuff over, it's cool." She came back holding a purple book. "This is her baby book. It's only a couple of the really good ones, the rest are on my computer."
I took it from her, flipping through the pages. The pictures weren't in any kind of order, just sort of everything thrown in. There was the one's Santana sent me, along with some of Elie's other first. When she took her first bath and her first step's. Then I came to one of me, that I'd never seen before. It was when we were in the hospital, of me kissing Elie's forhead as she lay fast asleep in my arms. Above the picture said "My Other Mommy."
"I don't remember this." I said quietly.
"You weren't paying attention. That was the last time you held her…" Her voice sounded weak. On the next page was the picture of us, covered in mud. Elie's got this mischievous look on her face and my jaw is wide open with shock as she spread mud all over my cheek. It said "My First Mud Bath"
The next page didn't say anything. It was a picture of Eliana, sitting on a man's lap. She had her whole body turned to him, looking at him with this worried look like she knew something we didn't. He had muscles and thick curly hair like hers. There's a soft smile on his face, but it doesn't reach his eyes. His pretty grey eyes that made him look like he could see right through you.
"She looks just like him." I commented. Santana nodded, laying her head on my shoulder.
"I know I should throw it away, but it's the only picture I have of him. I figure one day she's going to ask for it, and I want to have it for her."
I understood that. A child can get through life just fine without a father, but they deserve to know who that person is. "Do you still love him?" I asked suddenly.
She thought about it for a second before answering. "I don't think I ever did." Santana said honestly. "I was in love with the idea of him. He seemed like a good guy on paper… But then the shit hit the fan and splattered all over my face."
I laughed when she said that.
"And anyway…" she continued "I didn't feel this way with him. When he kissed me it was just a kiss. It gave me butterflies between my legs. But when you kiss me… It's like I feel complete. You make me feel like I'm on top of the world, and nothing could bring me down. I feel whole, like a piece of me has been missing and that piece was you. And then when you hold Elie… the way you talk to her, the way she smiles around you… she never did that around him. I've never seen her this happy before. And that first time she called you Mama… I didn't feel jealous or angry. It felt right. It felt like that's what you should be to her. Not her godmother, but just her mother."
I felt my eye's welling up when she said that. I grabbed her face and gave her a big kiss, then pulled her into a tight hug. "Thank you Santana. I love you so much."
"I love you too." She said smiling and pulling away. "So where's this photography school? And is it for a major?"
"No, actually. It takes about six months, and they're highly accredited. They give you a certificate in photography and then boom, you're officially a photographer. After that they have this really cool job placement program because they have it in tight with a bunch of agencies in New York."
"Welp," She said, folding the list back up and shoving it in her pocket "I guess we're going to New York."
Mom came in the next morning while we were sitting at the table eating breakfast. "Quinnie!" She called out, and I could hear her dropping her things on the floor.
"Bubbie!" Elie squealed, squirming her way out of Santana's lap and crawling away. Mom scooped her up in the doorway, holding her tight in her arms. "Hey baby!"
"Hey Mom," I stood to go give her a hug. "It's great to see you."
"Of course, I wish I'd known sooner I would have been home the day you got here." She looked behind me to where Santana was sitting. "Get over here." She said softly, with this knowing look. Santana stood up and rushed over, giving her a big hug. I could see my Mom had tears in her eyes, and she was holding them back. "I wish you'd told me hun. I knew something was wrong… You just haven't been yourself since he came around. I wish I knew."
"I'm so sorry Ms. Fabray-"
"What did I tell you about that!" Mom said, pulling back to slap Santana on the arm. "You're Quinn best friend and practically her only friend and your child thinks I'm her grandmother, so you can either call me Judy or Mom."
"Where's your boyfriend?" I asked, suddenly realizing he hadn't come in.
"Fiancé." Mom corrected. "And I'm not sure, he was in the car…" She looked around like she'd lost a puppy, even stooping down to peek under the table. Santana gave me a bizarre look and I just shrugged.
"Bubbie!" Elie squealed again, making us laugh. "Bubbie Bubbie Bubbie!"
"So what are your plans?" Mom asked, sitting down and taking Elie's bowl to feed her.
"Well right now we're just kind of waiting around for the court date next week. Santana is really nervous and I don't blame her." I said, slipping her hand into mine under the table. "After that the plan is to head back to New York. There's a two bedroom open in my apartment so I want to get that before someone else does."
"Are two bedrooms going to be enough room?" Mom asked. "I mean, Elie needs her own space and you two aren't kids anymore. Sharing a room gets pretty miserable after a while."
Santana looked at me, eyebrow raised and I swear I could feel my heart beating through my chest. Mom had no idea I was gay, and I never really had to tell her. But now it felt like it was suddenly way more important than it had been before.
"Uh, I mean…" I stammered "We're not going to be living there forever, maybe a year or so until San finished up school."
Mom nodded, not paying any attention to the way my voice was shaking or how my face was blushing. Santana narrowed her eyes at me, snatching her hand out of mine and crossing her arms. "Hey, Judy?" She said, "Me and Quinn we just about to get ready to go shopping. Elie is down to only a couple of diapers and I need baby food and stuff. Do you want to come with us?"
She sighed. "No, I don't think so girls I'm exhausted and I need to find this rotten fiancé of mine. But I can watch the baby while you two go, that's no problem."
"That would be awesome." Santana said, standing up and grabbing my arm. "Thanks so much."
"No problem." Mom said as Santana practically dragged me up the stairs.
"Ouch, ouch, ouch." I groaned, trying to yank my arm out of her grasp. Once in my room she threw the door closed and gave me that look that reminded me that the old Santana was still in there, and she was still as fierce as she used to be.
"What is this bullshit Quinn?" She half whispered, plucking my shoulder.
"I don't know!" I whined, rubbing my bruising arm. "She doesn't know, and I'm not ready to tell her."
"You're a fucking hypocrite, you know that?" She started pacing back and forth. "You feed m all this bullshit about how she'll love me for who I am, even though I've been beat on, raped, and now I'm homeless, but you think that for whatever insane reason she's going to disown you because you're a lesbian?"
"Shhh, keep it down!" I said, grabbing her and turning her body to face me. "Look, you have your battles and I have mine. This is one of them."
"Okay Quinn, so you can force me to deal with all my problems, but we're just going to pretend this one doesn't exist." She pushed my arms away. "That's real fucking fair."
I opened my mouth to say something else, but she threw her hand up to stop me. "I don't want to hear it. Get dressed so we can be back before Elie wakes up from her nap."
Santana spent the rest of the day giving me the cold shoulder. Along with the nerves from the trial coming up in just three days, the tension in the house was slowly driving me insane, so I decided to go for a drive. I didn't really have anywhere to go, so I somehow ended up at Babies R'Us, looking through the little Tutu's. "Quinn?" I heard someone say behind me.
I turned around to see Mercedes standing there, holding a little boy in her arms. "Hey!" I said, walking over to give her a hug. "Who's this guy?" I pinched his cheek and he narrowed his eyes at me. This child was clearly nothing like Elie.
"This is Javon. I'm in town for my cousin's wedding and I got roped in to babysitting duty." She rolled his eyes. "What are you doing here?"
I swear my head almost exploded trying to think of a way to explain the dozens of reasons why I'm here. "Uh, well I guess the main reason is to see Santana." I said, choosing to neither lie nor tell the truth.
"Oh yeah, I heard she had a baby." Mercedes commented, shifting the kid she was holding to he sat on her hip.
"Yeah, my Goddaughter. She's the cutest little thing, her name is Elieana. Want to see a picture?" Mercedes nodded, and I started flipping through my photo's on my phone for the picture I took of her yesterday. It was a cute one of her holding Montey, her hair all wild and wearing a little onesie.
"Oh man, she is too cute!" She said. "Look at those fat little cheeks. Hey, I know you're probably busy and stuff, but do you wanna grab a bite to eat before I got to head back with this little guy?"
"No. I man, sure we can. No, I'm not busy at all actually, I'm just killing time. Santana and I are sort of fighting…"
Mercedes raise an eyebrow at me, asking a question without actually saying it. I shook my head. "It's a long story."
"Tell me over dinner." She said simply.
Mercedes and I fell out of touch after high school, along with the rest of Lima, but we were still friends. We'd always had this sort of bond, ever since the teen pregnancy thing, so when it came to telling her the truth about Santana it just sort of slipped off my tongue.
"Okay so wait, you're gay?" She asked in between bite of her burger.
"Yes. Very."
"And you and Santana are…?"
"Together. As of 3 days ago." I sighed.
"But you've been madly in love with each other for like, two years now."
"Yes."
"And she has a baby daddy. What happened to him?" She raised an eyebrow at me.
"Um… I don't really feel like I have the right to tell you that. But he did some bad stuff." I said, picking the pickles off my sandwich.
"Like how bad?"
"Like criminal bad."
"Oh Lordy white girl, you got more drama going on now then you did in high school! How the hell did you get yourself caught up in all this?" I shrugged, wondering the same thing myself. "Damn Quinn, okay so why are you guys fighting? Shouldn't you be in like, three day old relationship bliss?"
I could feel my face turning red, and I cursed my pasty white skin the second Mercedes started giggling at its change in color. "She's mad because I won't tell my mother about us."
"Ouch. Wow. Well uh… why now?"
"Mostly because I don't want to be disowned." I mumbled.
Mercedes nodded, crossing her arms over her chest. "Well um… I have a question."
"Go for it."
"Remember when you got pregnant?" She asked.
"Not really, I was drunk and I kinda forced the memory out of my head seeing as I hate the male genitalia."
"No… not what I was saying. You remember how you said your mom knew? She just pretended she didn't?"
"Yeah. She does that all the time." I shrugged again. "She pretends she doesn't know things so she doesn't have to deal with them. But I could tell, just from the sad look she got in her eyes that she knew."
"Okay well how do you know she doesn't already know this too?" Mercedes asked. Before I could respond Javon started fussing, and Mercedes stood up, pulling him out of the high chair. "I gotta get him back, he's ready for a nap. But it was good to see you Quinn. Don't wait another four years to get in touch with me."
I nodded, standing up to hug her. "I won't. I might start calling you every time I have a problem. You always know how to make things better."
"Girl, you know I love you but I don't love you enough to handle your drama-filled lifestyle. You better keep those phone calls to once a week." She winked at me before turning on her heels, strutting as she went like the diva Mercedes is, was, and always will be.