Chapter 21
Loud sobs resounded in the silent lounge, echoing the sound of the wind howling outside. Kid looked down at Doritha's dejected figure on the sofa as she cried her eyes out. The news of her father's death had been an unexpected blow which the lady had received with sheer grief. His passing had happened almost a fortnight ago, and Garth had talked Doritha's mother into letting him go to Rock Creek and communicate the terrible news to her daughter. In his mind, the tidings would be easier to digest coming from a friend.
Kid had to agree with Garth and was glad that his childhood playmate had that thoughtful gesture towards his fiancée. He and Garth had never been close, and there had always been a certain rivalry between the two of them while they grew up in Virginia. Garth had been interested in Doritha beyond the limits of friendship, and when the girl had chosen Kid over his competitor, he had gone out of his way to outdo and outwit the sandy-haired boy and ridicule him in front of her. Until his reappearance today Kid hadn't thought much about him; Doritha had never mentioned him, but apparently the two of them had remained friends in the years Kid had been away from their natal land.
"Honey, please, calm down," Kid said softly after a few minutes as he approached her. "You will make yourself sick with all that crying."
Doritha jumped to her feet and turning her tear-streaked face to him, she cried, "How can I calm down? My father's dead and I'm just as damned."
She wailed pitifully while she flapped a piece of paper in front of his face. It was a letter from her mother that Garth had brought along. In the two white paper sheets Mrs. Simmons told her daughter how her father had died suddenly, victim of a heart condition that the man had hidden from the rest of his family. The lady continued explaining that the situation she and her other daughter had been left in after her husband's demise was quite precarious. Apparently, Mr. Simmons had run into massive debts, possibly due to his mismanagement of the family business, and they were practically bankrupt. Mrs. Simmons didn't even know whether she'd be able to keep the house where she'd been born, grown and formed her own family. The perspective was distressing and the lady sounded bitter and hopeless. This news was also taken too hard by Doritha, who hadn't stopped crying since she learned the new facts of her life.
"What am I going to do now?" she sobbed loudly as she felt her whole world crumble down at her feet.
Kid drew her into his arms and hugged her comfortingly. "Shh! You don't need to worry. Nothing's changed, and I'll take good care of you," he whispered in her ear as he felt his heart break into a million pieces at his own words. He had to forget about his intentions of breaking their engagement; he just couldn't leave Doritha, not now. She needed him more than ever, and Kid couldn't bring himself to hurt her more in this terrible moment. Maybe they could put their wedding off for a later date, and when she got over her father's death, they could continue the talk that had been left unfinished between them. "Everything's gonna be fine," he repeated.
Doritha pulled away and cleaned her face from the remainder of tears with a fine, embroidered handkerchief. "But, Kid, I'm ruined, totally ruined!"
"I told you many times before that we don't need your father's money. I can provide for you, you know that," Kid explained, feeling more and more miserable.
Doritha looked at him skeptically, and Kid brushed his hand over her back tenderly. He could understand how lost she was feeling right now. She was used to some standard of life that she'd have to start living without. Kid had tried to make her understand their situation for a long time, and it seemed that she was bound to learn that truth drastically. He knew that from the beginning she had higher plans for them, but without her father's flow of cash and influence she would never manage to carry out her wishes. She'd have to be content with becoming a rancher's wife. For Doritha it was as if her worst nightmare had come true and she wanted to wake up.
"Kid's right, Doritha," Garth piped in from his sitting position on the armchair. He had watched the exchange between the couple silently, and as he wasn't one to like being left out, he decided to speak up and make his presence noticeable. After all, he had been the one who had traveled thousands of miles for days just to do his duty as a friend. "You'll be fine becoming a cowboy's little wife. That's what you came to the west for, isn't it?"
Kid sent him a cold stare, not liking the degrading tone of his words. It seemed that despite the years that had passed, Garth hadn't changed a bit and used every single opportunity to degrade Kid's efforts and good intentions. Biting his tongue, the rider turned his attention to his fiancée, who looked as lost as a child without its mama. "I won't rush you, honey, and we can postpone the wedding… under the present circumstances," he offered.
"No!" Doritha exclaimed, her jaw set firmly. "He won't ruin that for me either!" Her pain was turning into sheer fury for the man who had given her life. How could he do that to her… leave her in the lurch like that? He hadn't thought of anybody but himself, and his family would now have to scrape by with just slender means… and all because of his irresponsibility. "The wedding will go ahead, come rain or high water!"
Kid was taken aback by her spiteful words and resolution. "But Doritha! It's your father," he let out hesitantly. "He's just died. Shouldn't we…?"
"The wedding's going ahead," she cut him off to repeat the sentence, her eyes bright with a cold shine. Kid nodded slowly and without averting her eyes from her fiancé's, the blonde woman addressed her old friend. "You're coming, aren't you Garth?"
The man snickered and sending the couple an amused look he exclaimed, "Trust me, I wouldn't miss it for anything."
A sigh escaped his lips for the umpteenth time in the last few days. He knew he should get ready for tonight, but he felt drained of all energy. The bunkhouse was totally empty, silence and his thoughts being his only companions as he lay down in his bunk. His eyes remained fixed on the wooden planks of the bed above his head. His poor reality was more and more tangible with each passing day. Kid felt like a condemned man fearful of the gallows, but knowing that he just couldn't prevent his fate from happening. He was ready to sacrifice all his life to a marriage that was a failure before even commencing.
Kid wondered what had gone so terribly wrong. He had been so blissful when Doritha had first come to Rock Creek that he couldn't believe that the same woman who had made his heart beat wildly was now making him utterly miserable. The ideal and perfect image of her he had pictured in his mind had been as far from reality as it could be. Little by little the differences had become more apparent and his hopes for a perfect union between them were simply an impossible utopia. And then… Lou had happened. She had appeared like a breath of fresh air and settled down in his soul without him even being aware of it. She wasn't perfect or ideal, just a woman, but she basically fit in all the corners of his world. She was the one; he was painfully aware of that, but there was nothing he could do. He couldn't act on his deep feelings, and she would never learn how he felt about her. Life would continue its normal course unaffected while his whole existence was doomed.
Since their last encounter at the store a few days before, Kid hadn't seen Louise at all. Feeling that he was deceiving himself into something that just couldn't be, he had kept away from going to the mercantile. He needed to come to terms with the fact that he and Doritha would be married shortly. Now she only had him to lean on, and Kid couldn't just leave her to her own luck. It was as if his fate had turned against him and was using every possible resource to force him to follow the road already planned for him. However hard, the rider felt he needed to erase those romantic dreams about Lou. He had to face his only reality and let go of anything distracting him from his path. Doritha was his present and future, and nobody else.
After the day Doritha had received the news of her father's death, she had done what was proper and expected from a dutiful bereaved daughter. A special service was held in Rock Creek's small church for the soul of Mr. Simmons. All of Doritha's acquaintances and Kid's Express family had been there to comfort and accompany the lady in her moment of grief. As promised, Garth had stayed in town, taking a room in the local hotel, with the intention of being there for the couple's wedding in a few weeks. Doritha seemed to be glad to have her old friend's presence, especially after he allowed her to borrow some money from him. The girl didn't want to leave the place she had called her home in the last month of her life as a single woman. Thanks to Garth's generous offer, she now had enough to pay for the rent and to keep up with her social engagements.
Kid didn't try to talk her out of not accepting the man's money; he knew it wouldn't be a good start if they ran into debt just before getting married. Yet, he understood that Doritha was going through a hard time after the last occurrences and at least she deserved a certain margin. Garth was quite comfortably off and could afford to do without that money for a time. His parents had died in the last couple of years, leaving their only son their small fortune and the family plantation. Garth wasn't a man willing to devote his efforts to country life, so he had sold the vast property, swelling the size of his already grown pocket. In his own words, he lived quite trouble-free thanks to the various businesses he claimed he had set up. Doritha seemed thrilled as she listened to his old friend's account of his good economic situation. Kid suspected that she was already planning something, and he expected her next move with apprehension. He told himself that nothing she could say could convince him to get involved with Garth. In just these few days Kid had confirmed his first impression; Garth hadn't changed from that surly, bullying and resentful boy he had been. His comments were obnoxious, and that air of superiority he held himself with made Kid want to punch him hard as soon as he came across him. Yet, Doritha seemed charmed with the man's ways and giggled at his stupid comments like a schoolgirl.
Tonight Kid was supposed to have dinner with his fiancée and Garth; he had been able to dodge other occasions, but he knew that he had run out of excuses by now and couldn't delay the moment anymore. Doritha had been bugging him about having a night for the three of them in which to remember the good old times all week long. Kid didn't feel like bearing Garth's infuriating presence, but just decided to go along with it this time.
Like an automaton he finally struggled to his feet and began getting dressed. In no time he had changed the scenery from the comfortable and familiar surroundings of the station to the stilted environment of Doritha's place. Hopefully, the evening would go by quickly, and he'd be back to the bunkhouse for a good night's sleep. Laughter filled the dining room as Garth and Doritha told story after story. Kid forced himself to share their amusement, keeping the minimum attention as not to appear too odd or aloof. The anecdotes grew and reached the point that made Kid feel estranged and isolated. Garth and Doritha started talking about those years after Kid had left Virginia. The rider wondered why Doritha hadn't been very open about that time with him before. He was kind of curious of what things had been like in his absence, but still he half heard what they were talking about.
Garth slurred as he spoke; it was obvious that the wine, which he was drinking to excess, was already affecting his disposition. "I fondly remember those summer nights at Mr. Bradford's. Oh those nights!" Doritha smiled and Garth continued in an exaggeratedly dreaming voice. "The music, the fresh breeze, the bonfires under the stars, the beautiful ladies…"
"Garth!" Doritha scolded teasingly. "It's very rude to praise other women in the presence of a lady."
"Dear, you know no woman can hold a candle to you," he replied sending her a flirty look. Doritha let out a peal of laughter while Kid looked positively uninterested in their silly games. "You're one kind of a lady, Doritha. Beautiful and smart as none other."
"Oh Garth!" she exclaimed among giggles. "Stop that sweet mouth of yours!"
The man joined in her mirth, chortling loudly. "Well… that's not what you used to tell me when we sneaked out for a few good smooches," he blurted out with a self-satisfying smirk on his face.
All of a sudden, the room became deadly silent after his rash words; Doritha's amusement was completely gone while Kid shot his eyes to the man in disbelief. "What… what did you say?" the rider asked in a grave voice.
"Uh… nothing… I was just fooling around," Garth stuttered, now fully aware of his clumsy tongue. The effect of the sweet wine and Doritha's overwhelming presence were an explosive combination, which had made him run out of self-control and forget about Kid.
"Nothing, my foot!" Kid barked loudly, jumping to his feet as if scalded. He turned to the silent woman who suddenly seemed to find the pattern of the tablecloth very interesting. "Is that true, Doritha?" Noticing her pale face and her downcast eyes, he knew that she had already answered his question without uttering a single word.
"Kid, I…" the girl started, fumbling for words, but failing miserably. She was furious beyond measure with Garth for his clumsiness. Nobody needed to hear about her past indiscretions, least of all her husband-to-be.
"I can't believe this!" the rider muttered in shock. He started pacing up and down the room in a vain attempt to digest the shocking information thrown in his face.
"Kid, it didn't mean anything, and it was so long ago!" the girl defended herself as she rose to her feet and approached Kid warily.
"I didn't…" Garth piped in, but he couldn't finish uttering the rest of his words as both Kid and Doritha turned to him and shouted, "Shut up!"
The rider stopped his pacing and turned to the blonde woman. "It does matter to me, Doritha, and please spare me the details."
"I didn't do anything you wouldn't have done yourself," she retorted hotly.
"I never even looked at another woman in all that time! We had a commitment to each other, which you shamelessly trampled on."
Not one used to accepting criticism or accusations, Doritha replied furiously, "You have no right in passing judgment on me! I was lonely and just found some comfort in a friend! What was I supposed to do? You were gone and likely to forget me as soon as a pretty face crossed your path!"
"You have no excuse, Doritha!" Kid retorted, unmoved by her reasons. "I never cheated on you while you definitely didn't waste your time! Did you jump in his arms the same day I left or was it as soon as I turned the corner?"
Feeling very offended the woman continued in the same angered tone. "No, your tactics are quite different," she said sarcastically. "You simply waited for my arrival in this godforsaken town before romping about with that low and common girl."
At the reference to Lou Kid's anger refueled. He had felt so guilty about his own feelings about Louise even though he'd never have considered deceiving his fiancée. It would simply show his lack of respect for both women. Doritha had admitted having been more than friendly with Garth not so long ago, and she was trying to convince him that her behavior was justified. "For goodness' sake! Nothing's ever happened between me and Lou!"
"Don't give me that!" Doritha retorted at the top of her voice. "You might not have had the guts to do anything, but you're as guilty as I am!"
Her words silenced the rider, knowing that she was somehow in the right. Even though he hadn't laid a finger on Louise, his mind had entertained ideas that were reprehensible and difficult to admit. The guilt was already eating him, but now baring his soul of half-truths in front of Doritha was proving too much for his peace of mind. He hadn't intentionally sought to fall in love with Lou; it had just happened. He wanted to cry his truth to everybody, but he was too ashamed of his own feelings. Kid simply stared at Doritha agape and after letting a soft sigh escape, he said, "I don't want to talk about this anymore. I'm so tired of fighting," he paused momentarily and then he added, "I guess it's time for us to part ways."
Doritha gasped at his words, feeling scared to death suddenly. "Kid, you don't mean that. I swear it was nothing," she pleaded with him in desperation.
"I'm sorry," he stated firmly, his eyes showing that he wouldn't budge in his resolution.
"You know I love you!" she exclaimed loudly, grabbing his hand and bringing it to her face.
Kid carefully disengaged his hand from her hold as he said, "Sorry, Doritha, but I can't believe you."
"We are getting married," she tried again, getting more and more desperate by the second.
"God, Doritha! How can you even think of the wedding after what has just happened? I… I can't trust you anymore! You kept saying it was wrong for me to become friends with another woman but I never carried on with her the way you did with Garth. You were always so prim and proper that what I was doing was wrong but you're anything but that, aren't you? "
As one by one her arguments had been flatly refused, Doritha felt her desperation turn into blind rage. "You ignorant, brainless bumpkin! I've had enough of you and your pathetic ways! Nobody leaves Doritha Simmons, you hear that? Nobody! It's me who's dumping you like garbage!" Kid didn't say anything; he simply lifted his arms in self-defense and turned to leave. "You aren't even enough man to provide for somebody like me!" she barked as she followed after him on his way to the door. "I stooped to accept to join my class with yours, and that's the way you repay me! Are you so stupid to think that I'd have been happy with just a few crumbs? I'm not one of those damn horses you're so crazy about! I'm gonna be way better off without you; any man, anyone at all will outdo your pathetic attempts to be a real gentleman for me!"
Kid reached the door, stoically bearing her angry harangue. He knew that she was trying to hurt him, and he had to admit that she was doing a great job of it. The venom in her words hit his manly pride, and Kid did his utmost to suffocate his impulses to fight her sharp tongue. At the door, Kid turned round to her and with a serious countenance he said, "Good bye, Doritha." Without further ado, he swirled around and dashed out of the house.
"I hate you, I hate you!" the lady kept repeating from the door, and when Kid and his horse disappeared from her sight, she simply stared in the distance. Tears of bitterness, anger and frustration gathered at her eyes as her whole life turned inside out in just a few minutes. Noticing somebody by her, she turned her head to one side to find Garth.
"Don't worry, darling, I'll take care of you," he said as he passed an arm over her shoulder.
His touch felt like fire; because of this oaf Kid had left her. Glaring at him Doritha jerked his arm off her shoulder. "Go to hell!" she barked and in a flash she dashed past him and scampered up the stairs.