Chapter 22
After fleeing from Doritha's place, Kid rode like the wind and found himself in the middle of town. He needed to clear his mind and soul before going back to the bunkhouse. He wasn't in the mood to share the night's events with his friends. His heart was in such turmoil that he wanted to scream at the top of his voice till he couldn't speak. It felt as if the whole world was having a good laugh at his expense. He had been ready to sacrifice everything for Doritha, for a woman that he had never thought he had reasons to doubt. He felt betrayed and wounded in his pride. All these years that he had devoted all his efforts to keep their love alive and make their dreams of being together a reality were just meaningless and a total waste. Doritha had without apparent remorse shared the kisses and caresses reserved just for him with another man, and Kid just felt like a fool. It didn't matter whether it had happened once or a million times, now or a long time ago; the bottom line was that she had betrayed and tainted their past love. He just couldn't overlook all that… not now when his own feelings had changed towards another direction.
Sliding off Katy, the rider tied her to the hitching post and feeling drained of all energy, he dropped his weary body on the steps just opposite where he had left his horse. He rested his elbows on his thighs while his hands ran over his already tousled hair repeatedly. He simply couldn't figure out what had gone so terribly wrong in his life. Just a few months ago he had felt on top of the world, and now he was at his lowest ebb. Until today he had had a fairly good idea what fate had reserved for him, for his future. He was supposed to marry his long-standing girlfriend, start a family and have his own horse ranch with which to provide for his dear ones. Those plans and dreams were now ruined, and he couldn't feel more lost. What was he supposed to do from now on? Everything had been crystal clear to him till this very moment, but the image meeting him now was blurred and increasingly dark.
Breaking up with Doritha had actually been his intention a few days ago. He had realized that he didn't love her the way a man should love a woman, and he had truly believed that they shouldn't continue with something that had become a false façade to the external world but in truth was a desolate desert. Yet, now that the break-up was a reality, he couldn't help but feel scared. He was now free to pursue his most far-fetched dreams; the thought brought a sad half-smile to his face. He was so confused that he didn't even know what was real or not. His heart seemed to be empty and he never felt more lonely than right at this moment.
A tug at his sleeve snapped him out of his thoughtful mood, and when he turned his head, he found Jake Richards, one of the local drunkards, sitting by his side. "Wanna share a few swigs with me, boy?" the man slurred, stretching his whiskey bottle towards the rider.
Kid roughly pushed his hand off his angle of vision while he blurted out unkindly, "Leave me alone and get the hell out of here!"
The man did not move an inch and seemed unaffected by the rider's coarse manners. He simply guffawed loudly, apparently amused at some private joke Kid wasn't privy to. "Whatever your problem is, boy, this can make everything look brighter and clearer … at least for a few hours," Jake replied and brought the bottle closer to the rider once again.
Kid looked down at the bright yellow liquid shining inside the glass container and kept pensive for a few moments. Without a second thought he grabbed the bottle from the older man and quickly pulled it to his mouth, letting the liquid flow down his throat. He closed his eyes as he felt his insides warm as the intense sensation of the alcohol permeated all over his body.
A group of five young'uns maliciously laughed as they gathered around something at his feet. Their leering expressions plainly showed that they were up to no good. "Bothering one of the poor drunkards," Lou thought as she came closer to the group of boys. She was exhausted after an extremely trying day, and she really wasn't in the mood to deal with anything else before going to sleep, but her conscience seemed to be stronger than her fatigued body.
"Quickly search his pockets for money!" one of the youngsters whispered to the others, but loud enough for Lou to hear.
The girl quickened her steps towards the young'uns as she called in an angry voice, "Hey you! Stop that this minute!" It infuriated her that somebody could take advantage of a poor devil when he couldn't defend himself. She knew that many of these pitiable drunkards were just harmless, and after their usual night's drink they just slept it off on their own company. They simply had the misfortune of falling victims of the terrible plague that alcohol was.
Being caught in the middle of mischief, the five boys quickly made a getaway before Lou could catch up with them. Yet, Louise managed to reach the one she had seen grab a pouch from the unconscious man's pocket. The young boy who couldn't be older than twelve fought to break free, but Lou strengthened her hold on him. Her first thought was to Jeremiah, who was the same age as this young boy.
"Haven't you been taught that it's a sin and a crime to steal?" she asked indignantly. The youngster did not say anything but kept squirming. "Give me back what you've just stolen right now from that poor man, or I'm afraid I'll have to pay a visit to the marshal." Louise added with a firm voice.
Without his friends who had fled like the wind at the first sign of danger, the boy did not feel as brave, not even to stand up to a woman, so without uttering a single word, he placed the small pouch in Lou's extended hand. Straightaway the girl released her hold on the boy and he ran off as if the devil was after him. "Boys!" Lou let out, shaking her head as she walked back to where the man lay, intending to restore the money into his pocket. She crouched before him in the covered walkway and as she carefully moved him, trying not to wake him, she breathed in shock, "Kid!"
She kept staring at his face for a few seconds in disbelief and then she rolled him over to his back as she kept calling his name and gently slapping his face. The rider started to stir and groan but didn't open his eyes. "Come on, Kid, wake up!" Her words did not manage to bring him back from his slumber, and Louise debated with herself what she should do next. She just couldn't leave him like that at the mercy of unscrupulous individuals coming his way. One thing was sure: she wouldn't be able to drag his weighty body all the way to the station. All she could do was to try to wake him and take him to her own rooms just a couple of doors away. "Kid, come on," she tried again. "Let's get out of here."
Kid finally opened his eyes, which seemed to have lost their ability to focus on anything. "Good boy," she said with a smile as she took hold of his arm and passed it over her shoulders. With a strong push she managed to raise him to his feet. The rider did not seem aware of what was happening around him and just let himself be moved like a puppet. Louise released her air wearily as she stood in the middle of the walkway supporting the weight of Kid's body on her small frame.
"How on earth am I gonna be able to take one single step?" she wondered silently and turning her head to him, she noticed his eyelids starting to droop heavily. "Hey!" she called loudly while slapping his cheek with her free hand. "Don't fall asleep again. Not yet, anyway."
Kid let out a groggy grumble and reopened his unfocused eyes. From her close position Lou could smell alcohol all over him, and she wondered how he had ended up in such a state. Kid wasn't a frequent visitor of the saloon, and everybody knew that Pony Express riders weren't allowed to drink. "Something must have happened," she mused and thinking that the reasons were unimportant right now, she simply focused on her more urgent problem. "Come on, Kid. Help me to take you out of here," she said and as she took the first step, she was glad that he seemed to follow suit.
Panting and huffing Louise finally reached the door of the building that housed her lodgings, dragging Kid along. The stairs to the last floor proved to be trying, and as they climbed the steps, more than once Lou feared that they would both plunge down the steep staircase. With a great sensation of relief she finally managed to reach the floor and her place. She pushed the door to her rooms open with a hefty kick and as she hurried to get inside, she almost stumbled in the process. Yet, she managed to stagger to where the bed stood and drop him onto it heavily. She was sweating from the efforts of practically carrying him till here, and she had to lean her back on the wall opposite, fighting to get her breath back. She kept looking at his figure lying on the bed, his legs hanging over the edge.
Once her breath returned to its normal pace, Lou approached and started to pull his boots off. The task was easier said than done as she struggled to forcefully release them from Kid's feet. She just couldn't have her clean bedding and sheets spoiled with all the filth that he carried on the soles. After dozens of attempts she managed to peel one of them off, but the second seemed to resist her efforts stubbornly. His left leg between her own ones, she struggled fiercely for long minutes, cursing under her breath, and with a strong push the boot was finally off. The force of the final shove was such that her body was impulsed backwards, making her fall heavily on top of him.
Quickly Louise scrambled off him, but the impact had already woken the rider, who groggily tried to sit up. His dazed eyes traveled around the room and when they fell on Lou, sitting next to him on the bed, he smiled a silly smile. "Oh beautiful, beautiful Louise," he slurred as he threw his hands to her and cupped her face. A very surprised Lou tried to release herself from his hold, but he seemed not to notice anything else. "Beautiful Lou," he repeated as his hands traveled from her face to her shoulders. "I love you so much," he continued in a pitiful voice while he started planting smacking kisses on her cheek.
Louise stiffened at his nearness despite knowing that the alcohol in him was making him act funny. Even though he wasn't aware of his actions and his words, a big part of Lou wished he really meant what he was saying. Her whole body was already shivering because of his nearness and his alcohol-laden declaration knowing that all that was a mirage, and she couldn't help but wonder how it would really feel like to have all those same words said to her in every sense. His touch was too much to bear and she tried to move his hands from her. Pushing him away from her gently, she tried to make him lay down. "Come on, Kid. Be a good boy and go back to sleep."
The rider let her push him down in the bed and didn't protest either when she covered his fully-dressed body with the quilt. His unfocused eyes followed her every movement and as she was about to turn from him, he grabbed her hand in his and kissing it softly, he said with a soft, slurry voice, "You are so good, so good to me."
Lou smiled sweetly and watched him as his eyes finally closed and he fell asleep. Her own eyes ran over his figure, and in a tender impulse she stooped and kissed him softly on the forehead, resting her cheek against his temple for a few minutes. "Oh Kid!" she let out in a whisper as she levered herself up. Her figure hovered over his, and she kept looking at his sprawling body in her soft bed. He looked so peaceful when he was asleep, and Lou fought the intense urge to snuggle next to him and kiss his lips. She wondered what it would be like to feel his lips on hers; he would never find out if she just dared. Louise chided herself for having those improper thoughts. She was surprised at her own inclinations and wanted to kick herself hard.
"You should be ashamed of yourself, Louise McCloud," she told herself. Until recently she would have sworn that she'd never fall for any man, and now she was living the mother of all ironies. She was scared for all these strong feelings running through her and didn't know what she could do with them. The thing was that she wanted to kiss him and be kissed even just for a fleeting moment. She had to shake her head to clear all these troubling thoughts disturbing her piece of mind. The sensations wouldn't go as easily as that, and she simply kept staring at him, unable to avert her eyes from his sleeping figure.
Sighing loudly, she saw him roll over and stretch his arms across the length of the bed. Louise wrinkled her brow as a thought struck her for the first time. "Where the hell am I gonna sleep tonight?" she asked aloud in the silent room as she watched her own bed completely invaded by her visitor.
With another sigh she opened the wardrobe and taking a blanket out she directed her steps to the rocking chair which stood in a corner of her small room. She dropped her exhausted body onto it and trying to adopt the most comfortable position, she flexed her legs against her chest while throwing the blanket over her body. Her head fell against the back of the chair as she readied herself for a very uncomfortable night ahead of her. "Thanks a lot, Kid," she whispered sarcastically as she felt her eyelids heavy with sleep and after a few minutes she fell into a profound slumber.
A yawn escaped his lips, but he fought the urge to open his still tired eyes. There was complete silence around him, and Kid assumed that he still had a few more minutes or even another hour to rest his body before starting another exhausting day. Soon enough the voices of his fellow riders would resound in the bunkhouse and disturb the peaceful morning. His senses were barely alert, but somehow his bunk felt kind of different. It was then that suddenly the events of the previous night stumbled over him impetuously: Garth's slip about his and Doritha's involvement, the terrible fight that followed which ended up in him breaking up with the girl. He hardly remembered anything afterwards, just heading into town and having a few words with Jake Richards. After that, his mind was completely blank and empty of memories.
His eyes shot open and he instantly felt confused and disoriented as he looked around the room. "Where on earth am I?" he asked himself aloud. It was then that he remembered drinking of the bottle Jake Richards had offered him and how he had gradually felt so much better. "You got yourself drunk, you idiot," he let out between gritted teeth, not feeling very proud of his behavior. He didn't know why he had done something so stupid, but he hadn't been thinking right the night before.
As his eyes traveled round the room, trying to get his bearings, he gasped in shock as his gaze fell on a few feminine garments draped on the arm of a rocking chair. "Oh my God!" he breathed crestfallen as the reality of what might likely have happened dawned on him overwhelmingly. Had he gotten involved with … with a lady of the night? He didn't remember getting near the saloon, but the fact was that he wasn't sure of anything happening last night. Kid lowered his eyes over his own body to find himself fully-clothed but without his boots on, which he soon spotted next to the bed. Maybe he was overreacting and nothing had happened. Anyway, he wasn't going to stand around to find out anything else as he intended to make a quick escape from this place.
Teaspoon would skin him alive as soon as he learned that not only had he got blind drunk but also he had spent the night in an unknown lady's room. Quickly he inched to the edge of the bed and started to put his boots on, ready to leave the place as soon as possible. Yet, he stopped dead in his movements as some noises at the door told him that he was about to meet his mysterious hostess. He saw a slender arm pull the door wide open, and he stared agape as his eyes finally fell on Louise.
"Morning!" Lou greeted cheerfully as she stepped in the room. Kid seemed to have lost the ability to talk and simply kept looking at her in utter confusion. "Did you sleep well?" she asked as she stood at a certain distance from him, her arms folded over her chest.
"I… I guess," he stuttered, not really knowing the answer to her question.
"Would you like some coffee?" she asked again as she placed her coffee pot on the little stove at the far end of the room. Kid simply nodded while the girl crouched to stoke up the fire in the iron-wrought stove. They remained in silence while waiting for the coffee to brew, and then she poured a cup for herself and one for Kid. She walked towards him, handing him the cup and sat down on the bed just opposite him. Lou sipped her coffee while Kid fought with himself how to ask what he was dying to know.
"Uh… Lou… can I ask you something?"
She lifted her eyes to his and said, "Sure. What is it?"
"Uh… how … how did I end up in your place?" Kid eventually blurted out.
"Don't you remember?" she asked, a smile forming in the corner of her mouth.
Kid lowered his eyes in embarrassment. He hadn't talked to Lou after their last disagreement, and he would have liked their first conversation to have taken place under other conditions. "I'm afraid not."
Lou did not try to hide her badly-concealed amusement anymore and began grinning widely at him. The rider dared to lift his eyes back to her, and when he met her amused eyes, he felt his face blushing even more violently. "Well?" he urged her with a slight tinge of irritation in his voice.
"Found you totally drunk in town, lying in the middle of the walkway. I just couldn't leave you like that, could I?" she explained.
"Thanks," the rider replied with a soft voice. He had been a fool to drink like that; he didn't even like whiskey and what was worse, of all people Lou had to be the one to find him in that state. He sure was winning good points in her private account.
"Mind you, it was a heck of a job to bring you up here," she continued teasingly as she brought back to her mind the stunts she had to pull to move his almost unconscious form from the street to her lodgings. "I'm still tired even after sleeping the whole night through."
Louise chuckled and Kid simply smiled, feeling very awkward and self-conscious in front of her. It was when she mentioned sleep that a disturbing thought stuck him for the first time. "Uh… Lou…don't take this too personally … uh….," he started awkwardly, which aroused the girl's curiosity instantly. "Uh… where… where did you sleep?"
"Where do you think? There's only one bed here," she replied, lifting an eyebrow suggestively. She was really enjoying her little teasing games, especially noticing him squirm uncomfortably.
"I don't… I…" Kid stuttered awkwardly, not sure what she meant and if she meant what he thought, he didn't have a clue what to say either.
"Don't worry, silly. I swear I acted like a perfect gentleman… I mean, lady," she replied between giggles, and she felt somehow hurt when she noticed relief pass over his features. "I simply slept in the chair," she informed him breezily as she stood to leave her empty cup on the table.
Soon the relief he momentary felt turned into sheer annoyance. "Just great!" he exclaimed irritated. "Me comfortably sleeping in your bed while you paying for my foolishness."
"Don't be so hard on yourself!" Lou retorted, resting her hands on the foot of the bed, bending her trunk so that she was at his eye level.
"And Teaspoon's gonna have my scalp when he lays his hands on me," he let out with a weary voice.
"I wouldn't worry about that now," Lou said with a knowing smile, and when Kid sent him a quizzical look, she added, "I ran into the marshal this morning and well… let's just say that I made up a little, tiny fib."
"What did you tell him?" the Southerner asked, sharing a smile with her.
"Just that I had been a bit unwell all night long, and you kindly offered to keep me company."
Kid stared at her with a mixture of admiration and awe. He didn't deserve her consideration after the way he had treated her. He felt he kept failing and angering her with his clumsiness while she seemed to be always there for him. Nobody else had made him feel so honored as to have her as a friend. She was ready to put her reputation on the line just for his sake. They hadn't even been on speaking terms, and she had gone to the bother of taking him in at her place, leaving her bed for him and even excusing him before his boss. She was simply amazing; no wonder he was so smitten with her.
"I must have made a fool of myself in front of you last night," he muttered softly while knocking the back of his head against the headboard.
"Naw," she replied dismissively. "You weren't that bad… at least nothing I couldn't handle."
Kid chortled at her remark, and once he sobered he added in a serious voice, "I don't know how to repay you for all you've done for me."
"Then why don't you start by telling me what happened to make you drink like a fish last night? I was utterly surprised to find you in that state last night. You don't seem the type that would turn to the bottle to deal with a problem." she asked as she sat again at the same place on the bed across from him, and when he hesitated to answer she hurried to add, "Sorry. You don't have to say anything. I have no right to stick my nose into your matters."
Lou rose to leave when he blurted out. "I've broken up with Doritha."
Lou stared at him in stunned silence as she dropped onto the bed again. "What… what happened?" she asked after a beat, and Kid proceeded to tell her the events that had led to his final break-up with his till-yesterday fiancée. Lou listened to him intently while her heart raced wildly with each word he uttered.
"And … and … how are you feeling?" she asked him warily when he finished his account.
"I really don't know, Lou," he replied in a soft voice and after keeping thoughtful for a few minutes he added, "Somehow I feel kind of liberated. Things weren't easy between me and Doritha. In a way this is for the best in the long run but …"
"But what?"
He cleared his throat and continued after a while. "Since very young all I've dreamed of is meeting the right girl, getting married and having my own family. I guess that growing up without a proper one … well… you know. And now.. it's as if all my dreams have been smashed to pieces," he explained with a pitiful voice.
"Kid, please, don't sound so defeatist. You're young, handsome, kind, hard worker, the kind of man any girl would want," Lou replied, subconsciously stating what she really thought, "and you have your whole life ahead of you. There's somebody for you out there, I know as much."
"I guess but…" he continued hesitantly, not sure how to explain to her how he felt about the whole matter. "The thing is, Lou, I've known Doritha almost my whole life and I could never, never ever have expected her deceit." He paused to let out his held breath and then he added, "How can I trust another woman after what Doritha did to me? How can I, Lou?" His eyes bored into hers, pleading, begging her to give him the answer to his doubts. He so wanted to forget everything about Doritha and focus on Louise. He just needed a little gesture from her, and he wouldn't doubt for one second in moving in her direction.
The intensity of his gaze was making her feel very uncomfortable all of a sudden and lowering her eyes she began running her index finger over the pattern of the quilt. "You know, I ain't a big expert in this man-woman stuff, but … well, you'll probably have no doubts in that sense when you meet the right one," Lou replied, daring a look in his direction. Her whole body was trembling after his revelation, and she could swear that he could read her mind by just looking into her eyes. She felt as if all her being was showing signs of what her whole soul wanted to scream.
"You reckon?" he asked with a hopeful shine in his eyes and instinctively scooping nearer her.
"That's what everybody says, ain't it?" she replied, which brought a satisfying smile to his lips and then without really giving it a second thought she added, "Just make sure you don't rush into anything out of spite. Nothing's worse than feeling that you're getting somebody else's leftovers." As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she cursed her tomfoolery. How could she dare to give him lessons when she had no such idea what she was talking about?
At her remarks his face fell down, and all his hopes crashed in just that brief lapse of time. It was plainly clear what she meant by her words. He just couldn't consider making advances to Lou however much he wished it, not now anyway. She would only think that he was turning to her only to get even with Doritha. That wasn't how he'd want things to start between them if they actually started someday, so he'd have to forget about his plans for the moment.
With a sigh Kid nodded at her words while he said, "I guess I'll stay away from women and out of trouble."
Lou smiled awkwardly, regretting her silly comments of before. She hadn't even had any first-hand experience in a romantic relationship, and she had the nerve to give him a lecture like a stuck-up know-it-all. She wished she could erase her words, but it was too late. Lou desired with all her heart that she could just have a single opportunity with him, even for a fleeting moment. Of course he would never be interested in the likes of her rather than as a friend. She was painfully aware that she wasn't the kind of woman Kid would ever take a fancy in. She wasn't pretty, educated or refined as Doritha Simmons was. One day Kid would fall for somebody else, and she'd have to swallow her pride and stand back.
"I have to go now. I'm already running late," she said forlornly as she rose to her feet. Kid nodded and Louise started walking towards the door. Once at the threshold she stopped short as he called her name.
Lou looked at him quizzically and Kid simply said, "Thank you for everything, Lou."
"My pleasure," she let out and proceeded to leave the room, closing the door behind her. She was trembling and for a moment she stopped on the landing and leaned her body onto the door as she let out in a muffled voice, "Oh God."