Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters or the rights to "A Beautiful Lie" as performed by 30 Seconds to Mars, and I will not be earning income from using these materials. I do, however, own the storyline and any original characters. Thank you.

A/N: Before I can do anything else, I must thank the most wonderful beta-mom, Miss clarabella75 for her amazing work and the time she puts into reading this and encouraging me. Also, second to none, is my amazing, beautiful, wondrous ficwife and most awesome friend/pre-reader/person, puppymama0909. She is awesome, her latest work is some loveliness that got me all hot and bothered, so if that's your thing, check out Isolation! http: /www . fanfiction . net/s/6758827/1/

Also, a HUGE thank you to all of my reviewers! I want to name you all and thank you one by one, because you are what make this story live! Thank you!

AAANNNDD! This lovely little story has been nominated for an award! (I know, right?) Thanks to one of my amazing readers, we've been nominated for Best Unresolved Sexual Tension in the Inspired Fanfic Awards! http:/ inspiredfanficawards . blogspot . com/p/first-round-voting . html If you feel that we're so deserving, I would be THRILLED if you could hop on over and cast your vote for us, so we can make it past first round voting! And if copy/pasting the above doesn't work, I'm putting a link on my profile, along with some more fun Polyvores for the dinner at the Cullen's. :) Feel free to prowl around and get your visual imaginations a rollin'!

And last - stay tuned for a teensy tiny, very important ending author's note.

So settle in, grab your cup of (insert warm beverage here), and after reading this MONSTER of an author's note, enjoy this MONSTER of a chapter!

Chapter Twelve:
Confessions, Part Two:
A Beautiful Lie

Everyone's looking at me
I'm running around in circles
A quiet desperation's building higher …
I've got to remember this is just a game

"A Beautiful Lie" – 30 Seconds to Mars

x0x0x0x0x0x

Twenty-two degrees fahrenheit was too fucking cold.

The keys fumbled in my grasp, Alice's gym card fluttering around on its lanyard in the arctic wind.

I thought I had moved to the South, for God's sake.

"Shit!" My keys hit cement. And, at five thirty in the morning, it was fucking dark. Flopping around for a few more moments, I felt like a fish out of water.

A frozen fish.

I finally snagged them and forced my way into my car. The beginnings of my defroster hit the windshield just as I hit the gas.

After a long night of restless insomnia, I had finally given myself over to fate and stuck a hand into Alice's room, praying I would find her gym card, and not a pair of undies, hanging on her doorknob.

For once, I had been rewarded for my efforts.

I couldn't say as much for my bravery last night. Had my trip to the Cullens' been a victory or a defeat? Since the moment I had stepped inside my apartment after eleven the evening before, skating past a silent Alice and Jasper, snoring lightly on the couch, I had been running the questions over in my head, unable to find a convincing answer.

After a scalding hot shower around midnight, ceaseless pacing between one and two, and lying in bed staring at the ceiling till five, the questions were on an endless repeat cycle, ringing in my ears.

Should I tell him? Should I lie? When would I see him again? What would I do when I saw him again? Had the Cullens been wrong to take him in? Would I be wrong to break his dream?

The only way to clear my head would be to surround it with warm, chlorinated wetness.

Besides, I couldn't say a small, hesitant spark from our last meeting at the private club didn't linger in my memory, generating hope.

A hope which turned out to be unfounded. The entire pool was empty, my footsteps echoing on the cement in the high-ceilinged room.

By positioning myself on the starting block and launching a full three feet into my lane, I proved my theory right. The water molded to my body, rolling around my arms, enfolding me with silence and clearing my mind.

I controlled my stroke, and my irrepressible ocean of fear slipped silently away.

Nearly an hour later, the heat and burn of a strenuous swim left the tense, weary muscles in my neck, arms, shoulders, and back loose and free. My mind was calm, silent, soothed by the lap of the water against the cool, blue ceramic and gray concrete.

As nine am rolled around, I found myself sitting inside of Urban Grind, a white chocolate raspberry mocha settled lazily in my lap, feet curled underneath me, while I stared off into a limitless horizon, a brilliant sun drifting upwards from the ground.

I missed him.

My heart ached, knowing that every moment of every day, he was here, close enough I could reach out, wrap my arms around him, feel his skin moving under mine, hear the breath in his chest. But I was banned, forbidden to be a part of his existence.

I couldn't know whether I would ever have my friend back again. The question haunted me – did I even have the right to try?

I jumped, nearly spilling my coffee, when Fergie's "Glamorous" blared from the small cell buried in my pocket.

"Hey Alice."

"Bella? Are you okay? Where are you?"

Alice. Always concerned. I couldn't help but smile.

"I'm fine Alice. Just having a cup of coffee right now. I needed a swim, so I stole your club card again this morning."

"Oh. Okay, well, Jasper and I are making pancakes and eggs if you want to come home. Emmett's already made his way in, sniffing around like a rabid golden retriever."

"I'll be home soon enough," I laughed. The image of a begging Emmett was enough to belay the ironies of a rabid golden retriever. "Tell the dog not to devour all of the pancakes, either."

"You can't keep me away from them for long!" Emmett's voice rang out from behind my roommate. Alice laughed.

"Jasper's holding him back for as long as he can, Bella, but I'd recommending coming home soon if you plan on sharing in any of the spoils."

"Just tell Emmett I'll lower his curfew and take away his pain meds if he doesn't leave a few for me."

Alice cackled on the other end. "That's perfect. Oh, also, I almost forgot. The reason I called – Esme called this morning and invited us to dinner tonight. All of us. And she specifically requested you be there, so really, you can't back out. You're coming."

I choked without even taking a sip of my coffee. "What?"

"You heard me, Swan. You're coming."

I slouched in my seat, nearly dumping my mocha. I had started this mess. There was no way I was getting out of it again.

"Fine. But I'm digging through your closet when I get home."

"Wow. You're brave. Good lu –" the end of her word turned into squeals of laughter. Either Emmet or Jasper had finally gotten to her. I chuckled a bit. Jasper's voice lit up the other end of the phone.

"Bella, Alice is slightly incapacitated at the moment, she will see you when you decide to come home and grace the rest of us with your beautiful presence."

"Alright, alright Jasper, just don't torture her too long."

"I'll do my best, but Emmett seems to be holding her for ransom."

I laughed outright this time. "Maybe I won't rush so much then." Jasper laughed at me. "See you soon."

"Bye Bella."

Alice's indignant noises echoed in the background as I slid my phone shut.

I would be at the Cullens tonight. For a dinner party. Fuck me.

I didn't even have to ask about the guest list. I was specifically requested by Esme.

Something was going down tonight.

The last bits of mocha slid down my throat, the cup making a satisfying thud against the side of the waste bin. I drove home leisurely, enjoying the overworked heater as it blew dry my damp hair.

Squeals of laughter and the sounds of silverware on plates drifted to me from the front door. I smiled, kicked off my sneakers, not bothering to remove my sweats or hoodie, and lazily drifted into the kitchen, snatching a piece of bacon from its path down Emmett's throat.

"Hey!" He reached around to swipe at me, but I slid backwards on the tile, shoving the fried pork in my mouth. Swallowing, I stuck my tongue out ungraciously. Emmett was suppressing chuckles. "Gross, Bells."

Alice was staring at me, mid-chew, in absolute horror.

"What?"

Jasper cocked an eyebrow, amused. Emmett burst into laughter.

"Bella," Alice swallowed, nose wrinkling, "Emmett spit on all of his food thirty seconds ago – to keep Jasper off of it."

Immediately, my stomach rolled. I gagged, punching Emmett in the shoulder and then running to the sink.

"Emmett! What the fuck!" I gurgled and spit water.

Emmett was in tears. Jasper would have been too, if not for Alice's glares and sympathetic glances towards me. As it was, he was barely staying on his seat.

"There are two pancakes in the microwave I managed to rescue for you, if you're hungry," my roommate offered. Something hit the table – hard.

"Dude, Ali, I thought you said we were out!" Emmett actually managed to sound indignant.

"Yeah, well, I had to tell you two garbage dispensers something," Alice rolled her eyes.

Scraping at my tongue with my nails, I gargled with water one last time. I wished I could take a razor blade to the offended appendage. Sadly, my toothbrush would have to do.

I glanced longingly at the microwave, visions of syrup-drenched, buttermilk fluff and thick, salted bacon dancing through my head. My stomach flip-flopped again. Bile rose into my throat.

I had an idea.

"No, thanks Alice, I'm good," I grumbled from behind my hand, heading towards the stairs. Emmett perked up, but as I passed by the microwave, I popped open the door, took out both pancakes, and licked them slowly, first up one side, and then up the other.

Emmett's mouth dropped open.

I continued to smile, snorting back my laughter and drawing a huge wad of spit through my nose, which then landed directly onto the fluffy, golden-brown surface. I pressed the pancakes together and slid them back onto the plate in the microwave.

Alice was howling. Jasper was snorting. Emmett was wailing.

"But – but – the pancakes!"

I snickered as I passed his chair.

"You're more than welcome to them, Em."

My smirk didn't die, and my friends' uproars followed me out of the kitchen and up the stairs, including Emmett's bellowing protestations.

"There're starving kids in Nigeria, you know!"

My smile remained until my bedroom door shut solidly behind me. My eyes were hazy and weak; my mind swam, exhausted. I sank down onto the bed as the first few raindrops hit my window, pinging against the glass.

Gradually, the storm rolled forward, crashing thunder shaking the panes of glass. Wet, think drops beat a steady rhythm, peaceful and narcotic, their sound echoing behind my closed eyelids and inside of my muddled mind, tiny drum beats mimicking the pound of my heart. It was pure, cadenced peace, and I dozed, the questions swimming inside of me retreated but did not surrender.

Snow, soft and fair, drifted around me, layering the thick bronzed leaves of the maples and oaks with puffy clouds of warmth. I ran my hand over a branch, gathering the thick white stuff in my palm. Its heat radiated up my arm.

High laughter broke into my tiny space of woods. My head swiveled toward the sound.

There … over there it was spring. White hedged against deep green, a line in the proverbial grass. Immediately, I hovered directly in front of the line. I stepped forward – only to end up in exactly the same place I had been before. My hand stretched out, tentatively reaching and then landing with a thud, only partially extended.

I was trapped. More laughter rang out, deeper this time.

Beautiful brown-bronze hair sat atop the boy, cross-legged in the grass, not fifteen feet away from me. Giggles erupted, and a swirl of chocolate brown waves bowed over into his lap, pulling away seconds later.

"No, I meant 'here'!" The image was becoming clearer with each passing second. I pressed my hand against the barrier, cool and unrepentant, trapping me while everything I knew drew me towards the couple.

"What, here?" The boy leaned forward, placing a small, close-lipped peck on the girl's nose. She giggled and sighed, mock exasperated. This time, I caught the faint red traces lining her pale cheeks.

"Really?" Her gaze fell to her lap. "Come on, I know you're older than me, but you have to know where first kisses go." She looked up shyly from under her lids. "I've seen you kiss Brittney there."

"Really?" The boy's face dropped.

I wanted to frown, to tell the girl that maybe the boy didn't want to kiss her instead of Brittney, but the drifting smell of ash and charred wood caught my attention. I glanced behind me. Red flames licked at the trees, rushing forward, catching me in a narrowly thinning semi-circle.

Panic shot through me. I turned back and pounded my fist once on the barrier, before I froze. The thick, heavy red flames surrounded the small couple, billowing waves of acrid smoke drifting in the air, the sunlight filtering in glimmering shafts over their forms. I wanted to yell, but I could only cough and shudder from the heat of the flames. I could still hear their voices, as clear as a bright, sunlit, cloudless day.

The girl was nodding.

"I'm sorry I asked, I just – you're just my best friend. And I want you to be my first … so that if I screw it up, you won't … you know – laugh."

He muttered, words that sounded like a bee hive in my ear. I pulled back, my hands flying to cover them and drown out the noise which muddled with the crackle of the fire. The flames were closing in on each side, heat blistering against the barrier as it began to bubble. I reached out again, desperate to attract their attention. This time, my hand slid through the scalding liquid, which continued to bubble around the extended limb.

I stood fixated.

Time began to fall forward, a clock, minutes slipping like hours, shifting like honey sliding from a jar. The boy smiled, reaching forward, placing one hand against the girl's cheek. He drew her to him, meeting her round, cherubic face halfway. Chocolate curls spilled forward, hiding her profile, and then, hiding his, as their lips met gently, cautiously.

Sick, snapping twists writhed in my gut. The boy filtered through, like water poured on oil paints; his image blurred and ran, sliding into the grass. The girl leaned back, and then looked at me. She stood. Her eyes were worn and red, weak and tired, hollow and angry. She walked towards me, slowly, mouthing words I couldn't understand.

Shades of fear raced up my spine; I lurched backwards and halted. My arm was stuck where it had slid through. The girl was advancing on me now, feral, hungry, and angry. Her lips wrapped around words, swallowing them whole, chills rising along my arms and spiking across the base of my neck.

I tried to scream, but I was strangled by my own misery.

She halted. She pointed.

"You." The world exploded into icicles behind her, roaring as the icy shards flew into my eyes.

A swift crack of thunder, and I snapped straight up on the mattress, my arms involuntarily wrapping around my torso, fingers curling around my arms. Blurry eyes blinked, forcing focus. I shivered delicately.

Long fingers of darkness had wrapped around my room, the sheer red curtains fluttering gently in the air from the heater. The air was grey and dull, thin in its warmth. My hair hung limp, shading my vision, tiny tendrils of sweat lining my forehead and scalp.

Had I been dreaming?

I couldn't remember. Vaguely, I attempted to shake off the cloud of sleep. My head throbbed behind my temples, the pain stretching through the top of my head, into my neck, and lingering in my shoulders.

Fuck. Not sleeping hurt.

Three quick raps on my door sent a splinter of throbbing pain across my forehead.

"Yeah?"

The door creaked lightly on its hinges, followed by Alice's head.

"Bella? Are you okay?"

I nodded, running a hand down my parched throat. My stomach chose that moment to growl ungracefully.

"Just dry as the Sahara," I frowned, "and obviously hungry as those Nigerian kids, too."

"There's some left over Thai, if you want. But," she frowned, "you probably shouldn't eat too much. It's already almost five. We need to leave for the Cullens' in an hour or so."

"What?" I jumped in surprise, carefully standing from the bed. "Shit, Alice, I don't even have anything to wear!"

The pixie clicked her tongue once. "And that is why you love me." Softly padding into the room in her bathrobe, she held up a flowing, red, chiffon dress. Strung over the hanger was a curved gold clutch, softly muted but still glowing in the fading light. Rain pounded against the window outside. I sank back onto the bed.

"Thanks, Alice. It's great." Leave it to my semi-clairvoyant roommate to pick out something casually sexy for the night I would face him.

"You're welcome. Just be sure to match accessories with the clutch, and you can't go wrong." She smiled. "Jasper will be here to pick us up in about forty-five minutes. I'll be downstairs if you need anything, okay?"

"Sure. Thank you."

Alice hung the dress on my closet door and turned to study me.

"Are you okay, Bella? Really?"

I hesitated, mouth cracked open. No. How could I be? The words were slipping off of my tongue. Because she lied. They lied. We've all lied, without even knowing. And he's still lost. And now, tonight, I have to see him, and somehow keep lying.

Instead, the excuses slid from my usual fortress.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just … didn't sleep well, that's all." I smiled. Fake. "Promise."

Alice nodded, eyes cut slightly. She didn't believe me, and after the past few months, I didn't blame her.

"Okay. Let me know if you need help with the dress."

After Alice had vacated the upstairs, I slipped under the soothing heat of a warm shower. The pellets beat upon my back, joining the cacophony of raindrops hitting against the ceiling, and numbing my mind.

My hair had frizzed into a mess of waves after its air drying from the pool, so I pulled it into a simple French twist, taming the few pieces that dangled around my ears into loose curls, before slipping into the dress and finding myself back on the bed, black box in my hands.

I slid the top open easily, lifting the photographs from its interior, until I came to the bottom of the box. A jewelry box that would fit easily in the palm of my hand lay cradled in its dark interior. I flipped the lid open, unable to pull the box from its resting place. A long, gold chain glimmered back at me, the circular locket with a heart-shaped diamond inset dangling from the middle of its thin form.

"It's for you, Izzy."

Elizabeth Mason's gentle voice urged me to take the chain in my hands. Reverently, I lifted it from the box, staring at the glinting surface.

"Do you want to put it on?"His voice was so close behind me, brushing against the skin of my ear, stirring the hair tucked behind it. I nodded, fixated on the magnificent Christmas gift.

"Please?"

Edward chuckled behind me, reaching around to remove the necklace from my fingers and strung it quickly around my neck, hooking the clasp with his lithe fingers. My head began to turn, to thank his parents once again for the wonderful gift, when a soft pressure against the back of my neck surprised me. The skin there began to burn. I dropped my eyes back to the locket, wrapping one fist around the charm and rubbing it with my thumb. His chin sank onto the top of my head.

"Merry Christmas, Izzy-bug."

The last Christmas we had spent together.

"Bella!" Alice's voice echoed through my closed door. Quickly, I clasped the locket around my neck, shoving the pictures back into the box.

"Coming!" The hoop earrings slid quickly through my ears, and, wrapping myself in my black trench, I grabbed the clutch and hurried down the stairs. Well … hurried is probably a relative term. The accomplishment was me not falling down the stairs.

Alice grinned at me, wrapped completely in a white, ankle-length, fur-lined coat, her dark hair pulled high on her head in a chic, fifties' up-do.

"Yes?" She dragged a hand down her body.

"How very Hepburn of you," I grinned back, immediately wrapping a fist around the locket. I didn't want to reveal its origination, and yet I couldn't bring myself to not wear it … just in case.

"Thank you, dahling." Opening the door, Alice waved a hand. "Shall we?"

I rolled my eyes, walking past her and down the porch stairs to Jasper's waiting car. Alice began spewing expletives behind me.

"Shit! Fuck! My toes are fucking ice pops! Why the fuck is it so cold out here?"

I could only laugh as I raced to the car, my own calves and toes freezing off in the icy October air. Cripes … it really needed to get warmer. Heat erupted from the interior as soon as I threw open the car door, flooding into my coat and restoring hints of circulation in my toes.

Jasper snickered lightly, reaching over to rub at Alice's arms after she leapt into the car, still cursing.

"Damn it! I thought I was in Georgia!"

"You are, Ali." Jasper glanced back at me, raising an eyebrow. I nodded and he turned back to Alice. "But you do know it's winter, right?"

"Not until December twenty-first, it's not. Stupid fucking weather." Alice scowled and slipped her shoes off, tucking her legs under her coat. Jasper chuckled again, rubbed a hand over the buried leg, and pulled from the driveway.

Outside of my window, the world became a blur of heavy, grey clouds, hanging low and layered against a rapidly darkening sky. We had been given a brief bit of downtime from the rain, but it didn't seem like our lucky streak was going to last much longer.

I was grasping at every bit of luck I had. Suddenly, I frowned, remembering one living bit of luck I had forgotten.

"Hey, Alice? Where's Emmett?"

She glanced back over her shoulder. "He left while you were asleep. I think he said he was going out with some friends. Why?"

"I thought we were all invited to this dinner?"

"No, when I said 'all,' I meant you, Jasper, and me. At least that was what Esme told me."

"Oh."

The rest of the trip was silent. I watched Jasper's hand linger, first twisted between Alice's tiny fingers, then moving to stretch behind her neck and grasp at tendrils of loose hair, before finally resting buried at the top of her thigh, underneath the coat.

God, I missed human contact.

The car circled onto the long, brick driveway, coming to a halt just past the door, behind a large, white Audi. It was haunting. I had been here not twenty-four hours ago, before my world had been flipped completely on its head.

Shakily, I climbed from the car and marched towards the house, fear finally setting in at the sight of the paneled, three-story mansion. I moved to walk beside Alice, slipping my arm through hers and clutching tightly.

Literal dragging was the only way I was going to make it into that house.

After waiting for a few moments on the porch, where it took everything in me not to simply dash for the bushes and claim impulsive Turrets later, the heavy oak door pulled open, revealing Carlisle Cullen and the same warm interior I had encountered the day before.

Smiling, he greeted the three of us, eying me warily, and invited us inside. I trailed behind Alice, fixated on my feet, completely unaware of where we were headed.

My only goal was to make it through the night without throwing up. So far, my chances were feeling pretty bleak.

"Bella," my roommate hissed in my ear. I halted instantly, realizing that my companions had stopped while I had continued my trail. Red heat filtered in behind the skin of my cheeks and neck. At least I complimented my dress.

"Marilyn, Randall, I haven't seen you in weeks." Alice detached from my arm, moving towards the couple who, as I looked up from my feet, were smiling with guile at their son and his girlfriend. I got the feeling there was a reason she hadn't seen them in weeks. Regardless, Alice had always been able to play up her societal roles.

I, on the other hand, was frozen in place, abandoned by both my best friend and her date, standing silent in the doorway, until a soft hand wrapped around my arm. I flinched lightly.

Esme smiled and leaned in to hug me, whispering gently in my ear.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I had no right to behave the way I did the other night." She leaned back, pressing a glass of champagne into my hand. I glanced at it and back to her, as she continued. "You're very brave for doing what you did, Isabella. Thank you, for respecting our wishes. It was never something we could force you into doing, so … thank you."

I smiled hesitantly, still unsure. "It still doesn't mean I'll lie."

Esme's eyes dropped, her smile sad. "I know. But … if he asks? Please tell him – how much his father and I love him … have always loved him. And that we never meant any harm."

I nodded again, this time silently.

A tall, thin, lithe form slipped into the room, hovering in my peripherals. I froze. Esme stiffened lightly before breathing in and relaxing. Squeezing my arm once, she stepped away, leaving me to my own devices. I sucked in a huge breath – and slunk to the nearest doorway, leaning against the wall while chomping at the bit.

He slid over to Alice, dark wash jeans slung low on his hips. His dark-grey button-up was wrinkled, a sharp contrast to the black dress jacket hanging over his broad shoulders, one slightly more sloped than the other. His auburn brown hair was darker than usual; I couldn't decide if the color spawned from dampness or just the ambiance of the wide sitting room.

His fingers spread through it, obviously trying to force the unruly tendrils into place, but the fight was futile, and he dropped his hand to the side, wiping his palm lightly on the broad side of his thigh.

Yep … damp.

Butterfly wings fluttered against my spine.

His fingers flexed as they hung by his side, rolling into and out of his palm, an unconscious flicker of Edward I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed before.

But really, when I fought to remember, I began to wonder if I had noticed. I wouldn't put it past my constantly fucked-with mind to completely disregard anything obvious.

I knew then and there, I couldn't speak to him, or I would spill everything, throw my arms around his neck and beg for him to believe me. Honestly, even I didn't think he would.

The absolute implausibility of the situation was the only reason I had agreed to keep Esme and Carlisle's secret … he was Edward in body, Trevor in mind. I almost laughed outright.

Treward he truly had become.

His eyes still hadn't found mine, but I was enjoying being utterly fixated on his every move more than I'd care to admit.

"Bells?" A much too familiar voice shot through my reverie. "What are you doing here?"

What – ?

Shit. Shit! Fucking shit!

Emmett.

I had completely forgotten about him.

I was turning on the ball of my foot, ready to sweep him from the sitting room, when I saw his eyes shift and widen.

"What … the hell? Who – the fuck – holy shit, Bells – "

My stiletto landed directly in the middle of his foot, sliding under the tongue of his shoe and earning me a hiss of pain, while also effectively cutting off Emmett's breathing supply and thoughtless, potentially earth shattering words.

"Shit-fuck-hell! Damn it, woman! That hurts!" Em braced himself against the wall. I shoved at his arm, forcing him to limp down the hall until we found a small, abandoned room about a yard down to the left.

"I'm sorry, Em," I sighed, "I couldn't risk it."

"Risk what?" he hissed, untying his shoe and yanking it and his sock off at once. An angry red-purple mark was darkening and swelling, almost dead center on the top of his foot. He glanced up at me, eyebrow raised, angry and confused. "What in the hell is going on here?"

I looked away – the ceiling, the wall, the intricate Persian rug … anything was more appealing than answering Emmett's question. He sighed, replaced his sock and shoe, and looked down at me, less ire and more inquiry.

"Look, I get invited here, to a private dinner, and the last time I checked, private meant less than three people, but instead some blonde pretty boy lets me in the door and I walk in, only to find you and a whole shit load of other people I don't know. And who are you staring at? Some prick, who is a replica of Ed –" he stumbled, swallowing hard, "– of my fucking best friend, who fucking died a whole shit ton of years ago –"

"Nine years," I murmured, eyes on the floor. Emmett carried on.

"– and he is fucking standing right there, and then you turn around and beat the hell out of my foot, and not in a good way, and then drag me away to some fuck –"

"It is Edward."

It was so soft, I could barely here my own voice, but Emmett halted. His hand was firm on my shoulder. I looked up at him. For the first time since the funeral, Emmett wasn't smiling.

"Bella … he's dead."

"No, Emmett … he's alive."

I watched as Emmett searched my face. "That doesn't make any fucking sense."

"I know," I sighed again, pushing strands of hair out of my eyes, "but it's true. Look, I'll explain it later, I promise, but for now, I just need you to understand." My eyes flickered across his face. Shit … time to bring Emmett in on the mind fuckery. "He doesn't know."

"What? The fuck, Bells, what do you mean he doesn't know?"

"He doesn't know who he is –"

"Then how the fuck do you know?"

"Emmett! Shut up!" I growled. He flinched into silence. "Look, I can't explain it to you now, I promise I will, but you've got to trust me. His name is Trevor Cullen, and he's been here for nine years, living this life, being this person. We cannot, under any circumstances, flat out tell him who he really is, got it?"

Emmett studied me, glancing between me and the door repeatedly. "So, what … it's like some kind of memory thing?"

"Amnesia, Emmett." I grabbed his arm. "Can you do it?"

"Do what?" he finally focused solely on me. It took every ounce of self-control not to roll my eyes.

"Keep your thoughts to yourself and your big ass mouth clamped shut."

"Oh, please, Bells, I was made for this shit."

I laughed.

Tears rolled down my cheeks, the noise building, mingling with hiccups, strains of madness clearly evident. Oh hell … this night was not going to end well.

"Yeah, as well as you kept quiet about Ben "Gaysian" Cheney and Greg "Cornerback" Lovell's break out love fest in high school?"

Emmett scowled. I slapped a hand over my mouth, breathing rapidly through my nose to halt the rising laughter. I was hyperventilating – hysterically.

"Bella?" Emmett wrapped a hand around my wrist. "Bells, it's okay … calm down."

I nearly collapsed into tears. Christ. Emmett was the one who had an information overload, and I was the one suffering a mental breakdown.

Pull it together, Swan!

Counting to ten, I pulled my hand away from my mouth, breathing normally … well, kind of. Emmett was staring at me. I nodded a few times.

"Okay," I hauled in a deep breath, "mouth shut, got it?"

"Honestly Bells? I'm more worried about you than me."

I punched him in the shoulder.

We walked back towards the dining room, me halting in the doorway yet again, while Emmett glided past, winking and sliding effortlessly into the small crowd, folding himself into their conversation. I watched as Jasper shook his hand, Alice smoothly covered her shock with graceful reception, and Esme introduced him to Trevor.

There was no incident, no hesitation, nothing to disclose the shared connection, the shock, awe, and surprise. His hand shook a few times, subtle body language for those who knew him best, but otherwise, Emmett was flawless. I envied his ease.

Me, on the other hand? I hung against the railing, the ultimate wallflower, becoming one with the sand-colored paint. I watched, worse than the proverbial fly-on-the-wall, as my best friend, reborn, walked from person to person, caught up in conversation. The tiniest gesture made my skin crawl; the warm, broad tenor of his laugh made my knees weak.

And every time he stepped to Rosalie, arm hovering next to hers, whispering in her ear, I felt my gag reflex begin to work overtime.

I missed him.

He wasn't mine.

Glancing away, I pulled my locket between my thumb and forefinger, rubbing small circles around its back, fixated on nothing but the memory.

"It's beautiful."

The voice materialized beside me, and I swung my head left at the sudden sound, effectively smacking the side of my face into the wall.

"Shit!" I hissed, pressing a hand against the sting. Perfect. One more bruise for my growing collection. I wondered if it would match the small scar from pool day.

"Bella!" Amusement and concern mingled in Treward's voice. His hand found mine, fingers brushed lightly against my temple. Tinges of fire licked across my knuckles while my scalp prickled.

"I'm okay, I'm good," I muttered, stepping back. He smiled, brushing a hand through his hair and shoving the other in his pocket.

"I was talking about the necklace, by the way. Is it a locket?"

Instinctively, I cradled the charm, glancing at its polished surface.

"Yeah, it is. Thanks."

"Whoever picked it out has great taste."

I smirked. I always thought you did, too.

His hand brushed mine, slipping the charm from my palm. His head dipped close, inspecting it, drawing me closer.

I froze.

His breath brushed across the side of my neck, stirring bits of stray hair, swirling against my collarbone.

"Of course, the owner certainly matches the jewelry."

I shivered.

He looked up at me, green-brown eyes flickering over my face. The pale scar across his nose glinted imperceptibly in the incandescent lights; my hand slipped halfway up my side, thumb twitching to run itself across the raised surface.

Edward leaned back, slipped a hand in his pocket, and placed the other in the air between us.

"Dinner time," he breathed, one side of his slightly off-kilter lips lifting in an inviting grin. "Shall we?"

My stomach lurched forward, exploding in a mass of rolling butterflies, lifting me into space. He was asking me to touch him. My God.

I managed to offer a weak grin of my own and noiselessly slid my hand into his.

Past melded with present; pieces of my missing self falling into place. It was as though, with the first touch of knowledge, a sigh of relief lifted me higher, pulling me home. His fingers closed tenderly around mine. This was right.

This was oh, so very wrong.

Treward turned me and placed my arm through the crook of his elbow, gliding the both of us towards the doorway on the other side of the room, which was already vacant. I glanced around, confused, and he laughed.

My feet almost gave out under me.

"They're in the dining room, Bella," he murmured, pulling me through the doorway and gesturing towards the large, round table which was set for exactly ten people, who were filtering in and taking their seats. Treward led me around the room, towards the right side of the table where Emmett was hovering over a seat, surreptitiously talking to Jasper and sneaking glances at Rosalie from the corner of his eye.

Every bit of restraint I had went into not cracking him in the jaw.

A small bell chimed somewhere behind me, and Treward released my arm, still smiling kindly at me, his bright green eyes focused on mine. I felt colder, somehow, more distant from reality at the lack of contact. Simultaneously, Jasper slid both mine and Alice's chairs out from underneath the table, and then deposited himself beside his girlfriend, who reached under the table cloth to grasp my hand.

Alice was staring at me and behind me quizzically. She wanted to know about Emmett. Fuck. That was not a story I wanted to get into right now. Instead, I merely feigned innocence and shrugged my shoulders. Yeah, I was going to pay for that later.

Another light chime signaled the beginning of the meal, and I pulled the napkin from my plate, staring at the hordes of silverware. What was with the damn bells, anyway?

A loud clash of conversations thrummed around me; friends were seated with friends, a seemingly straightforward dinner party for companionship and celebration to everyone, except me. I remained silent, eyes fixated on my meal, my water, my wine, unable to glance around for the sake of pure, petrifying fear.

I could feel eyes on me, every now and again, as the courses slid by, each thicker, heartier, and more elegant than the last. After two rounds of hors d'ouerves, a thick potato soup, salad, garlic roasted wild rice, green beans amandine, honey roasted carrots, lemon butter broccoli, roasted new potatoes, creamed spinach, roasted duck with plum sauce, and a large slice of caramel pecan chocolate cake, I wasn't sure I could make it from the table, much less out of the house.

The conversations had dropped to a low hum, like bees in a hive, each occupied with their own gossip and invention. I had nearly slipped into a food coma, allowing the soft, soothing sounds to lull me defenseless.

My attention drifted – my eyes left my bubble.

I was struck by the unwavering, unnerving green-gold puddles. They watched me, silent, unabashed, searching my face, and, at times, lingering on places I couldn't define. I wanted to mouth my questions, ask why he was staring, begin to pick away at the brain I could never touch, but instead, I sat, frozen, Bambi's mother in the path of an on-coming eighteen-wheeler.

He raised an eyebrow, the left one, the same one marred by the scars of his past. The left side of his mouth lifted up, accenting the off-centeredness of his profile. I wanted to throw my arms around him right then and there.

The sharp, vibrant resonance of silverware on glass cut through my trance.

Rosalie stood from the table, her long, supple form effortlessly punctuated by a domineering black dress which hugged her tight curves and pulled the honey from her peach skin. Her eyes landed on me, hints of a smirk pulling at the corner of her flawless, rose red lips.

"Thank you all, for being here." She moved from me, glancing around at each member of the table. "And a very special thanks to Esme for her assistance, since there was no other way to bring you all together willingly." Her round-robin of the table ended on Emmett. The mask faltered.

Her eyes softened imperceptibly, features almost … gracious, caring.

What … ?

"As everyone here knows, in one week, the Cullens and the Hales will join together in marriage, forever united by bonds that are, hopefully, inseparable by man." She lithely plucked her wine glass from the table. "So, I'd like to propose a toast." Holding her glass high, she paused as the rest of us followed suit.

"To you, father, and to you, mother – to the perfect lie you have created for everyone else to believe in."

You could have heard a pin drop. Thunder cracked. The chandelier shook. The storm was building, black and grey streaked against the sky. Apprehension filled the room, wrapping tender claws around each member of the table. The tension was thick and palpable, full emotion on display across each and every face.

Anger and awe were a perfect back drop to Trevor's clenched jaw; Esme and Carlisle shared silent confusion; Randall Hale's entire body stiffened, eyes working over his daughter; Marilyn remained completely blank. Jasper had fixed his sister with an amused stare, Alice kept glancing around the table, sharp eyes alert; Emmett was confused as hell.

"Trevor," Rosalie adjusted herself, placing a hand against his cheek. "I know you care for me, but you don't love me. Not the way I deserve. And you know?" She smiled, sad and perfect. "I don't truly love you either. Not the way you deserve." She reached around to slide the giant diamond off of her finger. "I'm not going to marry you … not for them."

Trevor stopped her. "Keep it. Please." Rose nodded.

"Jasper, thank you … for helping me to see." The corner of Jasper's lips twitched, amusement growing. "Carlisle and Esme," Rose faltered, turning to the couple, "I'm so sorry. You have both taken me in, treating me as a daughter, trusting in me, trusting in us, when we have only lied. I hope you can forgive me."

Esme reached out a hand instinctively before pulling it back. Thick, wet puddles glistened in the corners of her eyes.

"Father," Rose paused, "and mother. I will not be your puppet. I am no one's play toy." She gestured towards the Cullens. "Their lives … they aren't a part of your game. And now … neither am I." Glancing at Trevor, she jerked the ring off of her finger. Her eyes flitted to Emmett's; tears mingled with kohl black liner, threatening to cascade across pale pink cheeks. "I'm done."

Her heels cracked across the wood. The ring landed in Marilyn Hale's wineglass.

A flourish of fresh spring flowers lingered.

Okay, my lovely ladies and gents, this is just a little notice to all that, while I want this story and it's characters to consume my entire mental life, for the next few weeks, alas, it cannot. As I am steadily nearing midterms, papers, and the due date to the FicAwesome Gift Exchange (which is going to be amazing, check it out on the Fanfic Aholics Anon page on Facebook), it may be more than the usual time between updates. Fortunately, I've loaded this chapter with a good bit of love, so I hope you can forgive the slight delay! I love you all, and thank you so much for reading!

Also, if you feel so inclined, don't forget to vote; first round ends February 23rd!! http:/ inspiredfanficawards . blogspot . com/p/first-round-voting . html