Chapter 26

As Kid had predicted, he hadn't seen Lou again since she had hurriedly left with that out-of-the-blue friend of hers. He had hoped against hope that she'd come back after helping the lady get settled in the hotel. The day had been most bizarre; that kiss between him and Louise had changed everything. He had expected to spend another uninteresting day, just slightly peppered by his friends' easy banter, but nothing out of the ordinary. Yet, that kiss had made his perspectives appear brighter and hopeful. The looks that Louise had constantly darted his way at the picnic table had told him that she wasn't unhappy or displeased about what had happened between them, but rather the opposite. She had even let him hold her hand under the table. That sweet gesture had been enough to make Kid beam with love and pride, relishing in the knowledge that they had some kind of secret they weren't willing to share with the rest of the world. During those few minutes they had been sitting side by side and exchanging those coy looks and smiles Kid had felt on top of the world.

For some strange reason, all of a sudden Lou looked and sounded so different after that kiss. Kid really couldn't put his finger on where the differences lay, but it was as if that kiss had stamped them together. He felt that she was intrinsically joined to him, as if she were an extension of his own body and soul. But then that woman had turned up and all those sensations and her jolly mood had been completely shattered. Louise had gone through a total transformation in a matter of seconds. She had turned into a sullen and awkward character, and Kid wondered what that woman could possibly pose for Lou that had made her appear so grim and aloof. That definitely wasn't the kind of reaction one would expect in somebody who hadn't seen a friend for a long time. There might be surprise and maybe even shyness, but that awkwardness showing in Lou's expression was really out of place. Kid wondered what was going through Louise's mind at that moment and he kept racking his brains to find an explanation to her outlandish reaction.

Later that day the riders and Rachel returned to the station when the town's festivities were finally over. It was the early hours of the evening, but being the beginning of spring, the sun was still faintly shining in the sky. Unlike his fellow riders, Kid had opted for staying in town with the intention of going and looking for Lou. He needed to talk to her, needed to find out whether that kiss had meant as much to her as it had to him. With that resolution in mind Kid directed his steps towards the girl's place. He turned from the main street to the alley where the building housing her lodgings was. In a few strides he reached the place and stood a few feet from the door leading to the inside of the building.

Kid stopped for a moment, realizing that he had not given any thought to what he was going to tell her. This wasn't the time to improvise or waste his chance with clumsy words. He should have carefully planned what he wanted to tell her, and for one moment he was tempted to spin on his heels and leave. Maybe it would be better to think all this through and tackle the situation another day. Yet, the desire to lay eyes on her was stronger than his good sense, and he didn't move from the spot. Breathing in deeply he tried to gather the courage to carry out his intention and after debating with himself for a few more minutes, he finally started towards the entrance of the building. However, he stopped short as the door opened and Lou stepped out.

His lips spread into an instant smile as soon as he saw her. In contrast, Louise still wore the same serious expression that she had when she left. The moment she saw Kid there, Louise felt her stomach churn nervously, and she folded her arms over her chest protectively while she backed up a couple of steps from him. The gesture didn't go unnoticed by him, which made his smile disappear instantly, and he couldn't help feeling wounded by her obvious discomfort. The woman called Charlotte came after her and stood beside Lou, smiling candidly at the rider.

"What are you doing here?" Lou asked in a curt tone, which added up to his hurt spirit. She appeared to be so different to the girl who had been all smiles barely a few hours ago.

The roughness in her manner confused and bewildered Kid, and the Southerner simply managed to utter a clumsy sentence. "I came to talk to you."

"Talk about what?" she asked again in the same curt and snappy tone.

"Talk about what!" he wanted to cry to her face. Had she forgotten about what had happened in the stables that very morning? They had shared a kiss that had left him edgy and shivering all day long. What on earth did she think he wanted to talk about? About the weather? The thought that their intimate moment might not have meant anything to her filled him with utter dread, and he was afraid that his previous fears were not unfounded after all.

Feeling the eyes of the two women boring into him Kid fumbled for words. He just couldn't find anything right to say and as time passed, he felt more and more awkward and self-conscious. The rider was unable to come up with anything, especially in front of the other woman. At his hesitancy, Lou ran out of patience and snapped irritably, "Look, Kid, I'm busy right now. I don't have the time to chit-chat. Maybe some other time."

The Southerner stared at her as if she had slapped him hard on the face and after a lapse he nodded and with a quiet apology, he shuffled away, his eyes downcast and unable to look back at her for fear of what he might read in hers. For a few minutes Louise kept staring at him as he disappeared from sight at the corner, silently cursing herself for her rough manners. She felt her heart shrink with pain and her eyes instantly moistened. She fought the tears that were threatening to spill, and for a moment she felt the urge to run after him. Yet, she stood rooted to the place, feeling utterly miserable.

Why did she have to spoil everything? Kid had done nothing but been a good friend to her. Why did she have to push away everybody that tried to break the ice wall she had built around her? Everything had looked so bright this morning, but now her life had taken a tumble backwards. The old fears had fallen upon her overwhelmingly and she felt unable to control her own actions.

Lou kept looking ahead of her with a painful longing even though Kid had vanished from sight long ago. The sound of somebody tittering by her side brought her back to reality, and she turned her head to the woman, after composing herself and drying her unshed tears. Lou sent her a quizzical glance and Charlotte said, "He's cute."

Louise shrugged her shoulders in indifference, not feeling in the mood to discuss Kid, especially with Charlotte. She didn't really know what she could tell her about him anyway, so she started walking forward and the older lady followed her. Charlotte didn't seem to take her dismissive hints and continued with more questions, "So you two are…?"

"He's a good friend," Lou replied curtly, her voice tinged with irritation.

"Only a friend?"

Louise averted her eyes as she felt her cheeks ablaze. Instead of ignoring her friend's curiosity, for some strange reason she answered her with a stutter, "Uh … we… we kissed … once."

Charlotte let out a peal of laughter. "God, Louise! You sound as if you had committed a crime!" the woman exclaimed. "I gather you must be giving the poor boy a very hard time!"

Lou folded her arms tightly over her chest, a gesture she made whenever she felt uncomfortable. "You don't understand," she muttered in an almost inaudible voice.

"Louise, I can be quite thick at times, but one thing I know is men. I can tell when a man lusts for a woman … and this one does when he looks at you." Lou's eyes shot wide open in shock as she stared at the woman agape. "Don't give me that look! It's just something natural between a man and a woman."

Lou lowered her eyes, feeling more and more uncomfortable by the minute. "Please, Charlotte, cut the lecture, will you? It's none of your business," she muttered irritated.

"Louise…" the lady tried again, but the petite girl cut her off in mid-sentence.

"Leave me alone!" she barked as she threw a murderous glance at her friend. Without waiting for Charlotte to follow her, she quickened her steps towards the hotel and when she reached it, she barged in, not really giving it a thought to where she was heading.

"Louise!" the woman called as she dashed after her.

After the stunt Charlotte had had to pull to get away from St Joseph, her ankle was swollen and sore, which prevented her from being able to move at a quicker pace. Things definitely weren't going very smooth with Louise. This wasn't the reception she had expected from her friend. It was clear that the girl wasn't very happy at all with her presence in Rock Creek. Her first look had told Charlotte as much and their following brief conversations had confirmed her first assessment. The past was still haunting Louise, and by her attitude the older woman could tell that what had happened back then was even causing havoc to her present. Charlotte could understand the girl's hatred to that part of her life, and since she herself belonged to that past, Lou's uneasiness was justified to some extent. Yet, the woman had tried to act as if she hadn't noticed her friend's attitude at all. At least, to her relief Louise had bought those lies she had told her. It was for her own good, Charlotte told herself. The less she knew, the better. Louise would surely flip if she no more than suspected the truth.

Charlotte saw her friend enter the hotel all fiery-like. So in her hurry to catch up with Louise, she wasn't even looking where she was going and when she was about to step into the building, she almost bumped against a man who was on his way out. The gentleman had to grab her arm gently to steady her while she clumsily muttered an apology. When Charlotte lifted her gaze to him, she found a pair of kind eyes looking at her with open curiosity. For some reason she found his intent stare charming and alluring. When she finally found the words and talked up, her voice adopted a quality that was half enticing and half timid, quite different to the tone she used with the men that had been part of her everyday life till now.

"I beg you excuse my clumsiness."

"No need to apologize, Ma'am," the man replied uncovering his head in a gentlemanlike gesture.

Charlotte smiled coyly while they stood at the entrance of the hotel. "I was walking after my friend who's just gone in here," the lady explained, pointing with her index finger at the inside of the hotel. The man nodded as he listened to her intently, and only when her eyes sent him a meaningful glance did he realize that he was blocking her way inside.

"Oh!" he let out visibly embarrassed. "Please let me," he added, placing himself aside and opening the door for her. Charlotte walked past him inside and it didn't surprise her when she noticed him following. As soon as she stepped into the lobby, she located Louise at the far end, her arms folded over her chest and the same stiff expression as a few moments ago.

"There you are," Charlotte said with a bright smile. Lou didn't say anything and simply looked curiously at the man coming after her friend. The lady followed the direction of her eyes, and her mouth twitched into a small smile as she came face to face with the man.

The three of them remained silent for a few seconds and then the gentleman started, "Let me introduce myself, Ma'am. Travis McKay at your service."

The lady tipped her head in acknowledgment and added, "I'm Charlotte Rowen and this is…"

"Louise McCloud," the girl finished for the older woman.

Travis nodded her head to the two women courteously. "If you don't mind me asking, what are two lovely ladies doing in a town like Rock Creek?"

Charlotte fluttered her eyelashes in a flirty fashion, obviously enjoying the man's attention and flattering words. "For the moment going to my room," she answered, pointing at the corridor on the first floor.

"Seems we are neighbors, Miss Rowen" Travis explained with a bright smile. "My own room is in the same gallery. I don't know if you believe in fate, but I firmly believe we were predestined to meet at some point."

Charlotte's answer to his comment was an ample smile, and the pair kept looking at each other, forgetting about Lou's presence next to them. The girl watched the exchange without much interest and feeling this intrusion as her opportunity to get away, she muttered, "I gotta go." The other two people didn't even have time to react as Lou dashed past them and out of the hotel.

Her head was in a jumble and she needed to break free from everything and everybody right now. From the moment Charlotte had made her appearance, a suffocating pain was continuously pressing against her chest. All those memories and ghosts had returned with renovated energy, with the clear threat of showering her with torment. For years she had fought to get over all that; she was fully aware that she would never completely forget about those days, but somehow she had lately had the feeling that she could handle her fears without turning into a scared little thing. She had even entertained some silly romantic dreams about Kid.

Nobody had ever made her feel as safe and comfortable as he did whenever they were together and, to her surprise, like in the middle of one of her crazy dreams, he had even shown a more-than-just-friendly interest. At least that breathtaking kiss they had shared told her as much. For one brief moment she had even believed that the most far-fetched fantasies of hers could become a reality. Yet, Charlotte had appeared, and her dream had turned, if not into a nightmare, into a bleak and sudden awakening. Her light-heartedness had transformed into bitterness and distrust in a flash. Everything had changed in her soul, and her eyes seemed to see things in a very different light … or rather in the same light of other times.

Charlotte was her friend… had been a good friend of her past, but with her came the reminder of what Lou wanted to bury in the darkest corners of her soul. Maybe her appearance was like a sign alerting her that she should forget her fantasies about Kid. Truth be told, she had tried to ignore that nagging voice telling her that she had no right to mislead somebody as good as Kid. She wasn't like other girls; she had heavy baggage and believed she couldn't aspire to what she had been fantasizing about over the last month or so. Louise felt like a fool for thinking that she could conceal the hugeness of her reality to herself or others. Now the truth was so evident to her eyes that she couldn't ignore that voice anymore.

For Louise to say that she had been surprised by Charlotte's unexpected arrival was a clear understatement. Lou could have been knocked over with a feather, and all of the sudden she felt as if all the air had been sucked out of her chest and she had been left with a terrible uneasiness. Her head kept shouting that she didn't want to be dragged into the middle of this situation. Charlotte couldn't stay in Rock Creek as she had openly stated. Louise had a life here, one that she had fought so hard to get by herself, and she knew that the lady's presence would disturb everything she had strained so hard to get. Long ago they had talked about opening a ladies' shop together, but so much had happened that the plans and dreams thought of in the innocence of youth didn't mean much as years passed. Right now the idea of doing something similar with Charlotte was simply ridiculous and unreal.

Her mere presence filled her with utter dread and awkwardness. She felt as if she had traveled five years back in time, and she had become a young girl again, unsure and scared of everybody and everything. In her heart she knew that she was being unfair to Charlotte since it hadn't been her fault at all what had happened back then, but Lou couldn't help feeling the way she did. Knowing that Wicks was dead didn't bring her any peace of mind. The ghost that had haunted her during all these years was very much alive to her, and she knew that she wouldn't be able to escape from it. Her nights would now be plagued by nightmares again, visions that seemed as real as everything that surrounded her every day.

There was even a time when she could hardly tell apart what was real and what wasn't. Her days had passed like blurred vision, and she simply let time pass but without actually realizing that she was living. It had been at night during sleep that her senses seemed to have been more alert and alive, those nights where she'd rather not feel anything. It was as if those terrible dreams were more real to her than anything else. Lou prayed that she didn't have to live all that again. In her heart she felt she couldn't stand going through the same.

"He's dead," she kept repeating to herself as a mantra, and when she finally reached her place and kicked the door closed behind her, her body slumped to the floor and without even being aware of it, loud sobs started racking her body.