Chapter 27
It had been a couple of days since Kid had last seen Louise. It had been the day of the picnic when he had gone to find her, but she had sent him away roughly. Since then he hadn't got a single glimpse of her, and she hadn't even turned up at his new place yesterday as they had agreed to meet a few days before. Kid had been waiting for her for hours, sitting forlornly at the porch of the property, but she had never made her appearance.
The thoughts running through his mind now were more disturbing, and he didn't know what to make of Lou's sudden change and absence. Every night Kid fell asleep with images of that kiss they had shared, and those same images kept replaying in his mind all day long as he went about his daily routine. Even though the memory was comforting, it also brought him a sense of bitterness when he remembered their last brief and curt conversation. She had been abrupt and almost rude as she had plainly dismissed him without apparent regret.
Kid knew that she had a quick temper, and it wasn't the first time she had shown him her claws. Yet, he felt that something was different on this occasion. It wasn't that he saw no apparent reasons for her rough manners, or how her demeanor had changed so drastically in a matter of seconds. No, it was something else. It was the image of her eyes that had haunted Kid for the last two days. The liveliness and fire that had been present in them that same day were gone, and instead they looked empty and somehow scared. The rider kept thinking about what had provoked that change in her. The thought of her happy eyes just a few moments before tormented him, and he wished she was back to her normal self.
For some reason he knew that it wasn't the kiss that had upset her so much. Otherwise, she wouldn't have looked so laid back and pleased when she had joined him at the picnic. It was after that woman had appeared that Lou had begun acting so weirdly. Kid had in vain racked his brains to find an answer to his questions. What was it with that lady that troubled Lou so much? However hard he had tried to get an explanation, he hadn't managed to come up with one.
During the last two days Kid had often felt tempted to search out Lou and talk to her. They still had an outstanding conversation but he felt this wasn't the best moment to tackle the situation. They couldn't act as if nothing had happened, and they would eventually have to talk. Besides, Kid now understood clearly that he needed to tell her how he really felt. He just couldn't conceal his feelings any longer, but her attitude baffled him and he felt unable to find the right occasion to take matters in his hands. It really scared him to think what she'd say or how she'd react, and he simply let time elapse without doing anything.
This whole matter was dragging him down. He should be jumping in joy and eager to see the woman he loved, but instead he felt utterly miserable and was wary and cautious of her. He wanted to understand, and he had even thought of going and seeing Charlotte. Knowing Lou as he did, Kid was aware that she wouldn't be very willing to open up to him and tell him why she was so upset. Louise never talked about anything too personal, and Kid had more than once been on the receiving end of her anger when he had tried to ask what she thought he had no business querying about. Somehow he could understand her wish for privacy, but he had never wanted to pry into her life. He just wanted to know more about her because he really cared for her. Of course she didn't know that and by the pace things were going, she would probably never know.
The idea of having a little chat with Charlotte became more and more appealing to him by the minute. She must surely know why Lou had changed so much since her arrival. After all, Charlotte was the only other person apart from him who had claimed to be a friend of Lou's. Yet, it troubled him the idea that the woman would think it strange that he wanted to ask all those questions about their common friend. Of course she had seen him there at the picnic and later when he had gone to find Lou, but still he was aware that he was a nobody or couldn't claim that he was nothing other than a friend of hers. What right did he have to go asking questions? Maybe that wasn't the best move of his part, and he suspected that Charlotte might send him packing as soon as he opened his mouth.
Dismissing his idea, he thought he'd better go straight to Lou. Kid felt he needed to find a way to come close to her and gather the courage to speak his mind. The more he thought about his situation with her, the more confused he got. He definitely had to do something before he went completely nuts. So when Rachel came that morning, saying that they needed to go to Tompkins for some provisions, Kid thought that this was the perfect excuse to approach Lou. He would be able to see whether she was in the mood to talk to him. If that failed, he could always go back to his first idea of talking to her friend Charlotte.
The butterflies fluttered in his stomach as he drove the buckboard to town. Rachel sat by his side on the seat while she blabbered on. Her words got lost to him as his mind wandered somewhere else. He felt very nervous at the prospect of seeing Lou after those two days, and he feared that he was going to blunder it in front of her once again. He had rehearsed in his mind what he wanted to tell her if she gave him the chance. Yet, nothing he came up with satisfied him and ended up in the same spot, clueless and strained.
Suddenly, somebody calling his name in an urgent voice snapped him out of his thoughtful mood and then he realized that it was Rachel who was trying to catch his attention. "Kid, stop the wagon before we miss the store."
In his absent-mindedness Kid hadn't been paying attention and almost went past the mercantile without stopping, so he had to pull the reins hard and reversed the horses towards the place. Rachel laughed loudly as she asked, "Kid, what were you thinking about so intently to make you slip like that?"
"Uh… nothing," the rider replied awkwardly, and jumping off the buckboard, he rounded it to help Rachel down. To his chagrin the other riders were guffawing at his blunder as well.
"Kid, don't worry. We'll give you a few minutes alone with your girl," Jimmy piped in with a smirk as he eased off his horse and tethered it to the hitching post.
"We'll even distract Mr. Tompkins so that you can steal a little kiss from her," Cody continued, his mouth split into a big smile.
Kid shook his head but decided not to say anything. These two never wasted an opportunity to tease him mercilessly, and he had learned that the best way to shush them was simply to ignore their comments. So without waiting for them, he plodded towards the general store. Yet, he stopped before the door as Lou's voice reached his ears.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Mr. Tompkins."
Kid stood rooted in the middle of the walkway, holding his breath, his eyes focused on the entrance of the store; he never heard the store keeper's reply or noticed his fellow riders come next to him. He couldn't avert his gaze, and seconds later Louise appeared on her way out. Her steps were slow and when she noticed him, she paused briefly, cast him a quick grave look and then continued past him without a single word. At her obvious disregard Kid's face fell, and his heart ached as he followed her walking figure with his eyes. The other riders hadn't missed the awkward encounter between Louise and Kid.
"Did you two fight?" Jimmy asked his friend with a frown.
"No," the Southerner wheezed between gritted teeth, letting out a heart-felt sigh. He just didn't understand her attitude and was completely baffled about it. What on earth had he done that he didn't even deserve a greeting from her? The idea that she was uncomfortable and even offended by that kiss was gaining ground in his mind. He just didn't know what to think. She had seemed to want it as much as he did, so why did she have to give him the cold shoulder just now?
"Women," Noah exclaimed with an amused expression. "They should come with an instruction manual, otherwise, it's impossible to understand them."
A few seconds after Lou left the store, Charlotte came out of the building as well, slightly limping her way after her friend. Seeing the four men gathered in front of the store, she tipped her head and smiled brightly. "Gentlemen" The four riders acknowledged her greeting politely and the woman continued along the walkway after Louise, who she caught up with a few meters ahead.
"At least somebody looks happy to see us," Buck added after a beat.
Rachel joined them in that moment after retrieving a couple of baskets from the back of the wagon, just in time to hear Cody's next comment. "Figures. It's her call to be pleasant to men, and for the right prize she'd do more than smile at you."
Rachel turned her eyes towards where the boys were looking and seeing Louise and her friend, the woman realized who Cody was referring to. "What are you talking about?" Kid asked with a baffled expression.
"She's a wh…" Cody started, but noticing Rachel's eyes boring into him, he was quick to rectify. "She's a prostitute."
"Cody, stop voicing your stupid fantasies, especially involving somebody else," the Southerner interjected. "You know nothing about the lady."
"Kid, a man of wide experience like myself can really tell when one sees a woman of certain nightly activities."
The Southerner snorted in disbelief and gazing around his other friends as a way to get their support against Cody's remarks, he realized that none was eager to contradict the blonde rider's words. Even Rachel remained silent and something in her demeanor told the Southerner that she herself believed what Cody was saying. "Well, what if she is? It's none of our business," Kid muttered tersely.
"Cody, it ain't easy at all for a woman on her own," Rachel added. "As long as she respects herself and doesn't hurt anybody … well… that's all that matters. We got no right in judging her."
"I'm not judging her," the blonde rider replied. "I was just making a comment. That's all."
The other riders looked at him with a skeptical expression, knowing that there was more than a simple remark behind Cody's words, but none tried to contradict him. Only Buck broke the silence as he said, "I heard that she's rented that store from Mr. Branch. Apparently, she wants to open a dress shop."
"Does she?" Kid asked, wondering whether Lou was part of the lady's plans. He wasn't sure what he could make of this information. It was after the woman's arrival that Louise had started acting peculiarly, and even though he knew he was being unfair, he was beginning to focus his irritation on Charlotte, as if she were to blame for Lou's aloofness.
Buck nodded at the Southerner's question and Noah added, "I guess she must want to change her life till now and start from scratch."
"Boys, stop the gossip and let's get a move on if we want to get something done today," Rachel said as she led the way inside the store followed by Noah and Buck. Kid remained on the spot looking at where Lou and Charlotte stood in front of the restaurant. A gentleman had joined them, and the three of them made their way inside. To his relief Kid could tell by his movements that the man was more than interested in Charlotte. Since Lou had come into his life, Kid had developed a jealous streak that was completely new to him. He felt that any man approaching Louise meant a threat to him, something he had never experienced with Doritha, at least not so strongly.
As the three people disappeared from his sight, Kid turned to follow Rachel inside the mercantile, and noticed Cody watching him intently. "What are you looking at?" the Southerner asked irritated.
"Nothing," Cody replied promptly. "Don't get all wound up. I would also be concerned if my girl had close bonds with a woman of her kind."
Kid knew that Cody had the knack to say the wrong thing to the wrong person. He was like a small boy who blurted out the first thing that crossed his mind, but this time Kid angrily thought that he had gone too far. "Cody, first of all, she is not my girl, and secondly, you'd better stop making that kind of insinuations about Lou, or I'll forget you're my friend," Kid barked furiously. "There's no reason why she can't befriend anybody she likes."
Against his better judgment Cody insisted, not catching the warning looks that Jimmy was sending his way. "You know what they say, birds of a feather flock together."
"Cody, we hang about you all the time, and fortunately we haven't caught any of your disgusting manners," Jimmy intervened before Kid lost his temper and did something he might regret later. Grabbing Cody by the arm Hickok yanked him inside the store while Kid sent him a murderous look.
The Southerner remained motionless on the spot, unable to forget Cody's remarks. He knew that his friend was simply fooling around like always, but somehow the doubt was placed in himself. He brought back to mind his conversations with Lou. She had always had this strange distrust to men, and Kid had always suspected that her attitude lay in something related to her past. Even though she had denied it, Kid had thought all along that a man had broken her heart, leaving that suspicious nature in her. The Southerner just couldn't believe that a beautiful girl like she was hadn't had her share of romance in the past.
Lou never talked much about her, especially about her life before coming to Rock Creek. Kid had often wondered whether she simply wanted to forget about the person who had hurt her so deeply, denying his mere existence in her life. Yet, now a dreadful thought was creeping into his mind. What if she wanted to forget about something else, something bigger? His head kept pounding with these thoughts while his heart denied them energetically. He felt he couldn't believe those malicious notions, and in silence he chided himself. As Rachel had rightly said, nobody had a right to judge a woman who had to survive in a world of men. Everybody had a past and Kid told himself that he had no call to sum Lou up like that. Louise was a good-hearted girl and all he should care about was her present and future. If she gave him the opportunity, he couldn't think of her any less as long as they were together or at least remained friends. Kid shook his head to clear his mind of disturbing thoughts. No, Cody was just talking nonsense. It wasn't true and nobody would make him doubt Lou. Nobody.
The following day Lou dragged her weary body along as she did her usual routine around Tompkins's store. Sleep hadn't come to her easily for the last few days, and when she finally crashed, her slumber was continually disturbed by nightmares. Each morning the mirror showed her the signs of lack of proper rest: rings under her bloodshot and teary eyes, the pallor in her face… At least, she could excuse all this to the splitting headache she was actually feeling.
Lou seemed unable to control her own body and reactions lately. She kept repeating to herself that she had nothing to fear; all that had happened long ago, and she had even believed that she had managed to get over it. Apparently, she had been wrong and the mere appearance of Charlotte had made her recede all that way to the very beginning. It irritated her to think that she wasn't strong enough to overcome whatever came to meet her. Lou was aware that she'd have to get used to Charlotte's presence in Rock Creek since the lady intended to make her life in this town. Her idea of opening a dress shop was stuck in her mind, and Louise had finally understood that she wouldn't make her give up on her intentions.
The two of them had had a serious argument when Louise had directly told the woman that she couldn't stay in Rock Creek. Remembering their conversation that day, Lou felt deeply ashamed of her own behavior. She hadn't acted like a good and grateful friend at all, even though Charlotte had practically been her savior in the past. Of course, she had reminded Louise of that moment, and how much she owed her. Lou had the good sense to apologize to her sincerely and thankfully, Charlotte wasn't one to hold a grudge for long. In no time she was back to her usual light-hearted self, and Lou wished she could handle her own feelings as easily as her friend seemed to do. Despite sharing a few laughs with Charlotte after their disagreement, Lou couldn't make herself enjoy her friend's presence completely. She couldn't even understand where the tension she felt came from; all she knew was that she needed to get a grip of herself and come to terms with the fact that she would be seeing Charlotte on a regular basis from now on.
Not only was she intent on running her own business here in Rock Creek, but she was also now claiming that she was in love. Apparently, that man she had met at the hotel was serious about Charlotte and planned to court her all proper-like. Lou had hinted her objections to this sudden infatuation of her friend, stating that Charlotte didn't know a thing about Mr. McKay, but she had to silently chastise herself again. She had no right to judge her; as long as Charlotte was happy, nothing else mattered. After all she had no experience in matters of the heart, and her poor attempts with Kid had finished before even starting.
Louise let out a sigh as the image of Kid popped into her mind. Her heart ached as she remembered his sad countenance yesterday when he saw her on her way to have dinner with Charlotte and her suitor. Lou had been stunned as she first laid eyes on him, intently staring at her. For some strange reason she couldn't even bring herself to talk to him and had scurried out of his presence as if she were scalded. Kid didn't deserve to be treated so disdainfully, but she just couldn't help it. Everything was beyond her control, and that included the man who had penetrated through the protection of her very soul. She was no fool and knew that he wanted to talk about what had happened between them the day of the picnic. That would have been fine by her before, but now things had changed.
What possibly could she tell him? Lou just couldn't come to think about her situation with Kid right now and felt unable to face him. She hated feeling like that, as if she didn't even recognize herself any longer. Her attitude would have discouraged any man by now, but she knew what Kid was like, and he wouldn't desist from trying to talk to her again. Lou was sure that she wouldn't be able to stall him forever and would have to face him sooner or later. The problem was that she didn't know what she would tell him. Of course she knew she felt strongly for him, but lately she was starting to think that she should stop fantasizing about Kid. The last occurrences had been like an awakening to her, and she should stick to being his friend, and nothing else.
With a deep sigh she continued her task for today. Mr. Tompkins had decided to change the arrangements in the store, and since this morning Louise had been changing everything in different shelves and stands. Right now she was building a tower with the molasses tins in the middle of the store, and with her lack of concentration she had knocked down all the cans twice already. This third time she took extra care to place each tin one on top of the other, especially after being scolded by Tompkins for her carelessness. At least, the store wasn't very busy today and only a couple of ladies were in the place.
In that moment the door creaking and the bells tinkling indicated that somebody else was entering. Lou continued the task at hand and out of the corner of her eye she caught a glimpse of a man in an elegant suit. His steps resounded in the relative silence of the store, and for some reason Louise turned to get a better view of the person. As soon as her eyes registered the man, her heart skipped a beat and her body began shivering like a leaf. From the discretion of her position, Lou kept staring at him for a few seconds, not believing what she was seeing, and then in a flash she crouched behind the tower of tins she had built. Her lips were trembling as her head kept repeating, "It can't be, it can't be. He's dead, he's dead."
The sound of his voice made the memories tumble over her overwhelmingly, and as a way to block herself from the reality, she brought her hands to cover her ears tightly. Her breathing came ragged and though faintly, she could still hear his voice. The mention of Charlotte's name reached her ears, and she knew she had to get away from the place. Breathing in deeply to steady her nerves, Lou took a peek behind the pile of cans and noticing that ghost of a man and Mr. Tompkins in conversation she dared to make a dash towards the back of the store. She prayed he hadn't noticed her, and without wasting one more minute, she ran out of the building through the back door. It was imperative she found Charlotte and without thinking she spurted along the alley, running towards the main street in frenzy. As Lou was about to turn the corner blindly, she almost fell backwards as her body stumbled against something. An arm grabbed her, preventing her from losing her footing, and it was then that she realized that the something she had bumped against was Kid.
It took the rider less than a second to notice that something wasn't right with Louise. Her face was as white as paper, her eyes looked frightened and when he had reached to grab her arm, he had felt her tremble all over. "Lou, what's wrong?" he blurted out, without caring for formalities.
"Nothing," she replied as she fought to disengage herself from his hold. "Leave me alone."
She was panicking, her face contorted and her eyes big as saucers, which made Kid scared. He had never seen her like that before, and he strengthened his grip on her, clutching his hands on her forearms. "No!" he exclaimed resolutely. "Please, Lou, tell me what's wrong."
"Leave me alone!" she repeated more loudly, fighting him strongly. As he didn't release her, in a desperate movement she punched him hard in the stomach. Kid doubled in pain, losing his grip on Louise at once. "Sorry, but you gave me no alternative," she said and ran away, leaving him behind.
Her eyes anxiously traveled everywhere, trying to catch sight of Charlotte before trying her luck at the hotel. To her immense relief, she spotted the woman a few meters ahead of her, aimlessly strolling with Travis McKay. Lou ran to them and startled the couple as she grabbed Charlotte by the arm strongly. "Charlotte, come with me now! I need to talk to you."
Before either of the two people could react, Louise yanked her friend along and they stumbled into the next alley. Lou released her grip, and the woman came to rest her body on a ledge on the wall. "Louise, what's wrong?"
Lou paused briefly to get her breath back and looking intently in her eyes she said in a shrill voice, "It's Wicks, Charlotte. He's here in Rock Creek and very much alive."