The moment Kakashi woke up, he had that awful feeling that he was being watched. He turned, expecting Gai and doing a little double take when, instead of his rival's face, he found himself looking into the big, watery eyes of a large tortoise, who blinked once, very slowly, then wished him a good morning.

"Where's Gai?" Kakashi asked, not quite sure whether he was relieved or disappointed about his friend's unexpected disappearance.

"Gai went down into the valley for a refreshing morning swim." Ningame, as usual, spoke in a deliberate and grave manner, as if each and every one of his words carried an important lesson. "I was told to watch over you while you slept and to relay this message as soon as you woke up, which I have done now, so if you will excuse me—"

"You've got something there." Kakashi, who had sat up during Ningame's longwinded and self-important speech, pointed at the top of the tortoise's shell, where something white fluttered in the breeze.

He then watched the poor reptile crane his short, fairly inflexible neck and mutter under his breath for a few entertaining moments before curiosity got the better of him and he finally got up to take a closer look at the offending item.

It turned out to be a piece of paper with a note written on it. Kakashi squatted down behind Ningame to read.

Good Morning, my Rival!

I hope you slept well! I have gone down into the valley to enjoy a refreshing swim in the lake! If you feel up to it, you're welcome to join me!

- Gai

"Looks like you weren't supposed to give the message; you were the message," Kakashi said.

"What?!" Ningame did a full turn, then another and another, trying in vain to get the paper into his beak somehow. It looked like he was chasing his little tail.

Kind of cute in a pathetic way, Kakashi thought.

"What are you waiting for?! Get it off me!" The rotating tortoise was starting to sound quite furious, so Kakashi decided to show some mercy. Being Gai's summon was probably a tough existence even without other people making fun of you. He snatched the note off Ningame's shell and showed it to him a little apologetically.

"Such insolence!" Compared to his ninken, Ningame didn't really have the means to express emotion very well; his leathery face just wasn't designed for it, but this time his eyes were practically shooting sparks. "Do I look like a notepad to you?!"

Suspecting that there really was no right answer to this loaded question and unwilling to get drawn into a fight between Gai and his reptilian companion, Kakashi settled for a sad shake of his head and wondered if he could maybe risk a comforting little pat on the tortoise's head, but decided against it. He knew how Pakkun could get if someone who wasn't Kakashi tried to pet him and he had no desire to find out how hard Ningame could bite.

With a gruff "Goodbye!" the tortoise vanished in a cloud of smoke that, to Kakashi at least, seemed slightly darker and stinkier than usual.

He sighed and took another look at the note in his hand. Gai's offensively cheerful handwriting and overuse of exclamation marks were taunting him.

The lake, was it?

If Gai had truly gone swimming… Well, most people tended to take off some of their clothes when they did that.

He knew it was an awful idea to go and tempt himself further, especially after what Gai had said to him the night before, however…

However, there was no way he could avoid seeing Gai in various states of undress for the rest of his life, so why not try to get used to it now?

Getting down the mountain without much chakra to help him secure his footing was spectacularly annoying, Kakashi found. By the time he arrived in the sparse little forest that hid the lake, his knees were pincushions of pain.

He was also quite aware that as exhausted as he was now, he probably wouldn't be able to master the ascent by himself when it was time to return to camp.

It couldn't be helped, he decided and followed the narrow path that lead to the lake.

In the summer, the nameless lake in the centre of the forest was a great spot for swimming as it was completely surrounded by trees and therefore protected from view, as well as shadowy and hence great for cooling off on hot days.

Early morning temperatures, however, were not exactly encouraging Kakashi to get into the water, considering how cold it was even on the hottest of summer days.

Gai, on the other hand, clearly didn't share that opinion.

Only a few seconds after Kakashi had practically tripped over his discarded clothes, his foot getting tangled up in spandex, he caught sight of Gai plowing through the water like some kind of very big and excited shark.

If he had had the time, he would have had second thoughts right then, and maybe decided to get back up on his mountain, or at least try to do it, but before he even managed to finish that thought, Gai reached the water's edge and stood up, grinning and glistening.

Completely naked.

It was only natural for Kakashi to follow the little streamlets of water with his eye, and gravity being what it was; it was only natural for those little streamlets to flow downwards.

Any normal person would have stayed where the water was deep enough to go up to their hips, but Gai, abnormal as ever, waded closer still, leaving nothing to the imagination.

Kakashi had to fight really hard to keep his eye trained on Gai's face. Well, it wasn't like he'd never seen it before; just having it all hanging out like that was quite disconcerting.

Gai, though, remained completely oblivious.

"Feeling better?" he asked and without even waiting for a reply added, "Come on in! It's refreshing!"

There was no way Hatake Kakashi was going to take all his clothes off. None. And he hadn't brought anything even remotely close to swimwear, and yet he'd gone down to the lake anyway, so if he wasn't going to swim, how would he explain that?

He had no choice.

Reluctantly, Kakashi began to strip off the clothes he'd slept in, the shirt and pants, but pointedly left his boxers on.

Gai raised one thick eyebrow at the sight of him stepping into the water in his underwear, and burst into annoyingly loud laughter when Kakashi hissed and cursed as the icy water sent shivers up his legs.

"It's freezing! What's wrong with you?!" In an attempt to keep himself from shaking, he wrapped his arms around his torso and gritted his teeth.

"Wait, rival, I'll lend you a helping hand!" Gai winked and came closer, putting said hand on Kakashi's shoulder.

The true meaning of his words didn't occur to Kakashi until it was far too late. Not even ninja speed could save him when Gai really grabbed him, one arm snaking around his legs long before he could react, and hoisted him up over his head as if he was a human barbell.

Knowing what was coming only made it worse.

Gai tossed him, sent him flying a good few meters until he hit the water with a splash he only half-heard before he was separated from the world above the surface and sank into the cold, murky depths.

Kakashi allowed himself to be submerged for a few heartbeats, taking refuge in the water that clouded his vision and rendered Gai invisible and inaudible as if Kakashi had plunged into a different dimension.

Sadly, he needed oxygen to live, so he couldn't stay under water and enjoy the silence for much longer; he had to swim to the shimmering surface.

He came up gasping, immediately looking for Gai, for revenge, he told himself, and nothing else.

To his annoyance, Gai was right there, in his face, ready to push Kakashi back under, ready to fight.

They wrestled in the water for dominance, for fun. Pushing each other under, then pulling each other up playfully. Kakashi caught himself laughing; he caught himself in the act of being happy and had to chastise himself for it when he did.

Like brothers. This was exactly what Gai had meant. This was exactly how Gai felt.

His nudity was meaningless and natural because Kakashi was his brother, a fellow man, whose hands never wandered into dangerous territory. No, there wasn't even any dangerous territory between them, even if hands wandered, even if Kakashi felt Gai brush against him in a way that sent different, warm shivers up and down his spine, it meant nothing to Gai because Kakashi was just his brother.

There could never be anything more between them.

As soon as he was out of the water and struggling with his damp clothes, Kakashi began to sneeze, causing Gai to shoot him a concerned and vaguely guilty look.

He brushed his drenched silver mat of hair out of his eye, then wiped his nose with the back of his hand. A snail's trail of thin mucus glinted wetly on his skin. Great, he was definitely getting sick.

Every tiny gust of wind that found a way through the trees made him feel as if the clothes that stuck to his body were caked in ice.

"I don't think I can make it back to the cliff," Kakashi said, too tired to play any kind of games.

Gai nodded; he didn't seem the least bit surprised, probably because he wasn't blind. "I'll carry you up; we'll get your things, then I'm taking you back to Konoha."

To his shame, Kakashi must have passed out the moment he sank onto Gai's back. At least he had no clue how he'd ended up back in Konoha in his very own bed, mask-less and wearing nothing but sweatpants.

Bleary eyed, he let his gaze wander across the room until he found Gai standing in the doorway with a steaming cup of something that smelled a little like tea and a lot like concentrated awfulness in his hands.

"Drink this," Gai said, pulling up a kitchen chair that had no business being in Kakashi's bedroom, and held the cup under his nose.

Kakashi sniffed and regretted it. This was on par with mouthwash-miso, maybe even worse. "What is that?"

He got a sparkly grin and a thumbs-up for his trouble. "My secret cure for everything that ails you! One hundred percent guaranteed to make this cold go away!"

One look from Gai to the contents of the cup – toxic green, why wasn't he surprised? – later, Kakashi had a pretty good theory on how Gai's prediction would come to pass.

"By killing me?"

"No! By curing you!" Gai glared, offended by Kakashi's distrust. "Now drink up!"

Gai was still as fast as ever, grabbing Kakashi and all but pouring the horrible liquid into his mouth in a manner of seconds, making Kakashi cough and sputter.

It tasted even worse than it smelled, foul and somehow burnt, deeply wrong, and he could feel himself gag, but Gai clamped a hand over his mouth and began to rub his back in a very distracting manner.

He managed to keep it down, just barely.

"Don't you feel better already?" Gai beamed.

"No." But even as he said it, Kakashi could feel Gai's awful concoction settle warmly in his stomach, like a soothing balm that was spread inside of him. He sank back into his pillow, avoiding Gai's eyes.

"You're good at this," he said after a moment.

"Of course I am!" Gai folded his arms and leaned back in his chair, all self-satisfaction. Then he frowned, "at what exactly?"

"Being the big brother." Above Kakashi, the ceiling was grey and unremarkable, he studied it anyway.

Next to him, Gai shifted, the aged chair creaking. "I am, aren't I?" He sounded genuinely happy about the compliment, too.

It hurt.

Pain, Kakashi remembered a lecture their teacher had given them back at the academy, is just information, sent to your brain by your nervous system. It is nothing but a warning; soon you will learn which kind of information you will need to deal with and how to ignore the other.

He knew that his heart was sending him useless information, but he had a hard time ignoring it anyway.

His thoughts drifted away, to Sasuke of all people. And to Itachi.

And Naruto.

Naruto trying to be a brother to Sasuke…

Kakashi shivered under his blanket. It was such a waste.

He wondered what Minato-sensei would have done in his place, remembered something he'd said once, a lifetime ago, Naruto's lifetime ago, looking at Kushina; "She made me a better man."

Remembered his own father, showing him a photo of his mother, "She always fought by my side; she was so strong."

Obito dying, asking him to protect Rin.

"Do you think," he began, uncertain and quite aware of his feverish state, "if you had been born a woman, your life would have been the same?"

Gai flat out guffawed. "What kind of a question is that, Kakashi?"

But when Kakashi just held his gaze, he sobered and scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Actually… I think it would! I'd still be a shinobi – beautiful kunoichi, I mean – and I'd still do my best to improve myself and my students every day! My ninja way has nothing to do with my gender!"

Despite the way is stomach clenched painfully, Kakashi asked his next question. He didn't even know why he wanted to know the answer; it wouldn't change anything, and yet…

"Do you think we'd still be the same if one of us had a different gender?"

Again, Gai took a moment to think it over. "Hmmm, it might be a little strange for a woman to have a male rival… It might seem unfair… Then again, everybody used to think it was impossible for me to catch up to you anyway, and I chose to aim as high as possible, so, yes, I think we would have been rivals either way!"

Kakashi nodded; he hadn't expected anything else.

Very calmly, he asked his most important question.

"Do you think you would have seen me as just a sibling if I had been a woman?"

Gai just gaped at him, struck speechless.

He ignored Gai's confusion. He had something to say and he knew he that this was the moment, the only moment, once it passed, there would never be another one. He breathed in deeply.

"Gai, you've made me stronger; you've made me a better person."

"When things get serious, you're the one I want by my side. I trust you more than anyone else."

"When I thought I'd killed you—" Kakashi bit his lip; there was no way to finish that sentence.

He tried another approach.

"If things were different—" But they weren't.

"It's painful," he said finally, smiling, thinking about Ningame going around in circles, "knowing I met the right person when I'm not the right person for them."