AN: Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed or added this story to your lists! It means so much to see people enjoy reading this story as much as I enjoy writing it. And a special thanks to all those who have followed since Dream a Little Me in Your Dreams! :)

Sorry you have had to wait so long for an update! My fall break came up and I took full advantage of the momentary freedom by going camping! But here's the next chapter, and as always I hope you enjoy it! (Even though I'm not entirely pleased with this one, but I promise better ones are to come!)

"Satchymo! Come find me!" Neal yelled as his tiny sneakered feet pounded up the stairs. He could hear the dog's collar jingle from downstairs and knew he had to hurry to find a new hiding spot before his furry friend came barreling up the stairs after him. The sound of the dog's toenails scratching against the floor as he rounded the bookcase in the living room caused Neal to dart into Peter and Elizabeth's bedroom. He paused momentarily in front of the bed when he realized he had already hidden himself underneath there earlier. He looked around frantically for a new place and caught sight of their bathroom. He heard Satchmo reach the second story before darting to his newly found hiding place. Knowing he would get in trouble for hiding in the cabinets based on a past experience, he quickly decided to wiggle in between the cabinet and the toilet. He scooted back and drew his legs up to his chest and tried not to giggle as he saw the dog dive under the bed with a curious nose. He curled up as far as he could when the sound of Satchmo's collar got louder indicating he was close to being found. Suddenly, the dog's head popped around the corner of the doorframe and the toddler let out a shriek of surprise. Satchmo barked back and ran over with a loving, slobbery tongue happy to find his little friend.

"Satchymo! Stop it." Neal giggled as he tried to squirm away from the dog's kisses. He wiggled with all his might between the toilet and cabinet to get up on to his feet. He succeeded but knocked over the trashcan in the process. Satchmo stood still and panted while watching the boy turn the empty can back up right.

"Oops." Neal shrugged his shoulders at Satchmo and took a step forwards to leave but stopped short when he stepped on something with a small pop. He moved his foot slowly off the object and looked down to see what he had stepped on. He stared at the object for a few seconds trying to determine what it was before his memories of being an adult filled in the confusion for him. Lying on the ground at his feet was a pregnancy test.

His head almost spun and he reached out with his small hand to grab the cabinet. He couldn't move and even if his brain could have cooperated with his limbs it wouldn't have done much good because they were practically numb. He would never know how long he stood there in a horrified daze, but Elizabeth's voice coming from downstairs broke him from it sometime later.

"Neal! Come on, Sweetheart! We're leaving!"

Neal swallowed thickly and shook his head. There was no way he was actually going to touch the thing, so he kicked it back beside the trashcan just underneath the cabinet and ran out of the bathroom with Satchmo following closely behind.

Why?

That question swirled in Neal's head as he watched the city whiz by the vehicle's window from his car seat as Elizabeth drove to the grocery store.

Why do they want another kid? Why do they need another kid? Did I do something wrong? Am I not good enough? Why am I not enough? Is it because I'm not really theirs?

Elizabeth kept glancing back at her boy in the rearview mirror. He hadn't said a word since they had left the house and he had what appeared to be a neutral expression on his face, but something was swimming around in that brain of his and leaking down into his eyes. She just didn't know what.

"Neal?" A few seconds passed and nothing happened. She tried again. "Neal?"

The boy continued to look out the window as if he were the only one in the car. She pressed the brakes as the next traffic light turned yellow and when she came to a complete stop at the red, she turned around enough to face him. "Baby?"

Neal's head snapped around quickly and he stared at her with a weird look before blinking rapidly a few times. "Hmm?"

"Are you okay?"

She noticed him swallow rather thickly and silently prayed his throat wasn't hurting. He grinned at her, but not big enough to make his tiny dimples show, while nodding his head. Elizabeth was anything but convinced, but the car behind her blew their horn indicating that the light had turned green and they were annoyed she hadn't moved.

She nodded and smiled at Neal in the rearview mirror, before driving through the intersection.

For the remainder of the car ride, Neal made a list in his head of things he could do differently, things that he could change about himself to become the perfect kid that Elizabeth and Peter were looking for. At the top of his list was silence. Daddy, or Peter, was always calling him a chatter box and Mommy, or Elizabeth, was always agreeing. He could be quiet. It would be hard for him, he decided, but it was worth it. He would do anything not to lose his second chance at a real family even if it meant letting a cat take his tongue.

Elizabeth pushed the buggy down one of the isles in the grocery store, trying her best to school her concern. Neal had been silent since the intersection and even as he sat in the seat of the buggy, he just sat there like a doll. All of his usual energy that would make itself known through wiggling, squirming and swinging his legs back and forth as they dangled from the shopping cart was nowhere in sight. Neal just sat there with his hands in his laps and his blue eyes blankly staring at the items on the shelf as they went by.

She threw in a box of crackers and continued through the store. She walked passed the dessert isle knowing she had nothing on her list that would require her to go down that particular one, but as she eyed her unusual acting son an idea came to her and she backed up and turned the buggy down the isle.

"So...I thought about making a special dessert for dinner tonight." She tried to keep a casual tone in her voice and could only hope she succeed because Neal's face remained blank. "Yeah, I thought about making pistachio gelato. What do you think?"

Neal looked up at her with the same neutral expression as if he could care less and just shrugged his small shoulders. She let her jaw drop. Usually the boy begged her to make it at least once a week and now that she was finally going to give in, he seemed unfazed. She let her shoulders slack before touching the child's forehead. "Sweetie, do you not feel well?"

"I feel fine, Mom." She couldn't help but let her face twist at the sound of Neal just calling her 'Mom'. It was always 'Mommy'. "Oh...kay... Neal." She grabbed what she needed for the dessert and went to get the next thing on her list.

Neal could feel his stomach flip flop in a good way at the sound of gelato, but he played it off. He didn't want to come off as needy or ask for anything. Maybe if I don't need anything, they won't need another kid, He thought to himself. He was a little surprised to hear Elizabeth ask him if he felt okay. He felt ashamed afterwards, one for being surprised because Elizabeth had always took care of him and two for making her concerned. He tried to grin at her though he knew it wasn't much. "I'm fine, Mom-" He cut himself off because as the word rolled off his tongue he wanted to spit it out. Suddenly he saw some other snot-nosed kid calling her 'Mommy' while she cuddled him in his favorite blanket.

He just tried to take deep breaths as he nibbled on his bottom lip that threatened to wobble.

"Do you want anything, baby?" Elizabeth asked her little boy as she marked the last item off her list. He shook his head. "Are you sure? No snacks? No juice? Not even some candy? I'll even let you have it on the ride home." She tried to bargain. She didn't care if he wanted the biggest bag of chocolate. She'd buy him anything just to get him to want something. He shook his head again. She was almost at her wits' end.

Sighing, Elizabeth squatted down so she was eye level with Neal. "Honey, are you sure you're okay?" He nodded. "Nothing's wrong?" He shook his head. "Alright, Neal."

She didn't believe him for a second, but there wasn't really anything she could do in the middle of the grocery store so El stood back up and gently rubbed her hand up and down Neal's back, more to comfort herself than anything, as she headed to the check out.

The ride home was the same as the ride to the store and when they got home, Neal disappeared up the stairs to his bedroom to play while Elizabeth put away the groceries. Minutes later she was ready to start preparing dinner so it would be finished when Peter got home from work and they could all sit down for a family dinner. She got out the ingredients to make homemade pizza, something Neal loved to make almost as much as he loved to eat, before walking to the base of the stairs.

"Neal..." She was going to ask him if he wanted to help, but based on his earlier behavior she thought it best to kindly command him to help her instead. "Come down and help me with dinner. We're going to make pizza." On any other normal day, Neal would've been halfway to the kitchen by now but it had just taken a minute for him to appear at the top of the staircase. She smiled up at him and held out her hand for him to take once he descended the stairs. Slowly, but eventually his small hand took hers and she led him to the kitchen.

El had sat Neal up on the counter next to the mixing bowl so he could help make the dough which always caused the kitchen to become a shade whiter from all the misplaced flour. However, Neal was being very precise and clean.

"Look at you! Where did these new cooking skills come from? Usually you look like a ghost 'cause you're covered in so much flour, but I don't think you could take a bath and be any cleaner." She lightly teased as she mixed the dough in her hands.

"Guess I'm jus' getting bettew." He replied with a shrug of his shoulders. El smiled weakly at him with a nod of her head while spreading out the dough in a circle.

"Why don't you spread that out some more while I get the sauce?"

El waited until Neal started to spread it before turning around to grab the pizza sauce on the counter. When she turned back around, she barely caught sight of Neal resting his small hand in her larger handprint in the dough, but the boy quickly removed it and she didn't bring it up.

Peter walked through the front door of his home with a relieved sigh and a delighted sniff as the smell of pizza filled his nose. He pulled off his jacket and suit coat and hung them on the rack beside the door, before walking into the kitchen to see his two favorite people.

"Hey, Buddy!" He greeted the little boy who was walking towards him purely by coincidence he found out because Neal suddenly stopped dead in his tracks and stared at him with an expression he couldn't quite place. "What're you doing, kiddo?"

Neal blinked at him before grinning softly and walking towards him. The agent reached down to hug the kid and found himself just pulling the toddler into his leg since small arms didn't hug him back. He ruffled the kid's hair and let him go, watching while he trotted upstairs. He turned a confused and concerned eye towards his wife.

"What's with him?"

He felt his gut twist when Elizabeth walked over to him with a frown and wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her back and didn't let go until El pulled away first a few seconds later. "El?"

"I have no idea. He was fine all day, playing with Satchmo and running around. Then when we left to go to the store he just...started acting so strange."

"How so?" He asked, holding his wife at arms length.

She ran a hand through her hair. "Well... he's maybe said all of ten words since we left the house. He doesn't have any energy. I...I thought maybe he was sick, you know, coming down with something, but he says he feels fine and he's not warm to indicate a fever. And...and at the store...he didn't ask for anything, didn't want for anything. I even told him he could eat candy on the way home, anything he wanted and he turned it down! I don't know what's wrong with him, Peter!" Elizabeth leaned into her husband's embrace again trying to regain a sense of calmness.

"Honey, it's ok. I'm sure he's fine. Everybody has off days... especially kids." He tried to reassure her. "If he's not better by tomorrow we will take him to the doctor, alright?"

"We?" She asked hopeful.

Peter nodded. "I'll call work in the morning if he's not back to his usual self and we will both take care of our son."

"I love you." Elizabeth replied before kissing him.

"I love you more."

Dinner had been uneventful up until dessert. Neal sat there silently while Peter and Elizabeth made small talk about things the little boy could chime in on if he had wanted to, but apparently he didn't. The parents were just relieved that he had ate his food, not all of it, but the little boy rarely cleaned his plate anyway.

Peter had cleared the dishes away and set out small dessert plates on the table while Elizabeth got the gelato out of the freezer. Peter glanced over at Neal while they waited on El to return and leaned his elbows on the table.

"Hey, kid." He waited until Neal was looking at him to continue. "Your mom tells me that you haven't been yourself today. You okay?"

Neal just nodded before dropping his eyes back down to the table.

"You sure? Mom's pretty worried about you and I'm starting to get there. You're awfully quiet. Where's my little chatter box, huh?"

Neal's head snapped up suddenly with watery eyes.

"Why are -?"

Neal didn't get to finish the question he had been worrying about all day because El walked back into the room carrying the dessert. "Okay! Who's ready for some gelato?"

Neal clamped his mouth shut and awaited his piece to be sat on his plate, while Peter just stared at him.

"Neal, were you going to ask something?" The agent questioned as his wife scooped out his portion of dessert on his plate. The boy shook his head and filled his mouth with gelato, not paying any attention to the concerned look passing between his parents that no longer loved him.

"So El," Peter tried a different tactic, "what's the special occasion that requires you to make Neal's favorite dessert?"

Elizabeth caught on as she smiled around the fork in her mouth. She swallowed and wiped her mouth with her napkin. "Oh, there's no special reason...just that I think somebody could use a little cheering up and I was hoping this would do the trick."

Neal suddenly felt their eyes on him and froze. The big glob of gelato in his mouth suddenly felt like too much. This is it, he thought. This is how they are going to tell me. Be nice to me and then tell me that I'm no longer the kid they wanted so the pain wouldn't be so bad. Neal swallowed thickly as he glanced up to see Peter and Elizabeth staring at him with what appeared to be sympathy and pity. The little boy felt the walls closing in on his new found safe haven and his chest was starting to ache with the painful throbbing of his heart. After dropping his fork with a loud clatter, he jumped down from his seat and ran upstairs.

Both of the Burkes were startled by the sudden disappearance of their little boy and could only sit and stare at his empty chair. It was El who broke the silence with a stressful sigh as she buried her face in her hands.

Peter placed a hand on her arm. "Relax, El. I'll go talk to him, huh?" She waited a few seconds before nodding and raising her head up with tearful eyes. Peter felt his gut twist. "Oh, Honey. Don't be upset..."

"I can't help it. Not with everything that's happened. It's just been a roller coaster this week and now this."

Peter stood up and wrapped his arms around her as he leaned down. "Elizabeth, everything's fine. We will get through this. Just relax, read a book or take a bath, just don't worry about Neal."

"Peter..."

"Just try not to worry about him, okay? Let me have a shot. I'll take care of him."

"I know you will. It's just after what happened this week I wanted...I want us to just be together."

"I know. We will, Honey. We will. I promise. Now go, do something relaxing. I'll clean up here and talk to Neal."

Peter knocked on Neal's strangely closed door before twisting the knob, which thankfully wasn't locked, and walked in. "Neal? It's time for bed ki...ddo." Peter stumbled in his sentence as he stopped in the doorframe of the little boy's room. Instead of Neal sitting in his floor playing with his toys like normal, the toddler was already in his bed curled up under the covers with the main light out and his nightlight plugged in. Peter sighed and walked over to the bed. He leaned over and turned the bedside lamp on. The toddler didn't move from his curled up position on the bed with his back towards the agent. In the luminance he could see the top of Neal's flannel pajamas covering the boy's shoulders. Peter sat down on the bed and gently turned Neal over on his back knowing the boy hadn't been asleep. He felt his heart ache at the sight of tear tracks staining the four year old's face and red, puffy blue eyes.

"Neal..." Peter sighed and pulled the boy from under the covers by the armpits and hugged him to his chest, not missing the feel of a nighttime diaper under the flannel onsie Neal put on. "please...please talk to me. Whatever it is...it doesn't matter. There's nothing you have to be scared about, ashamed of or...or embarrassed by."

"Ap-ap-appawently there is!" Neal squealed as he wiggled out of Peter's grasp and dove back under the covers. Peter's face twisted in confusion.

"What? Hey, buddy, come back out here and talk to me."

"No! I wanna go to s'eep! Go 'way!"

Peter let out a frustrated sigh. His wife had been right. It had been one hell of week, not that the little boy knew of course, but Peter just couldn't deal with another stressful occurrence.

"Not gonna happen, kid. You can go to sleep, but I'm not leaving until you talk to me." Peter countered kicking off his shoes and laying down and propping himself up against the headboard. He heard the toddler grunt, but other than that he laid there and watched his boy fall asleep on the bed as far away from him as he could.

An hour later...

Neal woke up in a different position and place than he had fallen asleep in. He cracked one eye opened and instead of being curled up underneath the covers of his bed where he was secluded, he was now sandwiched between Peter and Elizabeth in their bed. Comfort blanketed Neal's groggy mind, before two things struck him. One - his head was on Elizabeth's stomach and the idea of Peter and Elizabeth's 'perfect child' being in there made him upset. Two- he was laying in there bed and although he was four years old now, he did remember where babies come from and the one that his parents wanted was going to start from the very thing he was laying on. As soon as his mind wrapped around the two notions, he jerked away from her and immediately scrambled out of the bed, before either of the two could react.

Elizabeth and Peter laid in bed watching their little boy sleep between them. For comfort for herself, El had laid Neal's head on her stomach so she could feel closer to him while she softly tucked a curl of hair behind the boy's ear repeatedly. Peter just laid there and watched the two of them in the light of a bedside lamp. It was peaceful to both of them and comforting after the past week's whirlwind of emotions. Well, it was until suddenly Neal sat bolt upright and scrambled out of the bed before they even knew what was happening. It took them a few seconds for them to follow after him, but once they did they both thought that he was running to the bathroom down the hall to vomit. What other reason did the boy have to dart out so quickly?

They didn't find him in the bathroom. They found him sitting underneath his bed, legs drawn up to his chest, arms encircling them while his whole body shook with tremors, by the sound of small sniffles.

"Neal." Peter, though concerned, found his patience wearing thin.

"Go 'way!"

"No. Not until you tell us what's wrong."

"N-nothing! Jus'...jus' go 'way! P'ease!"

Elizabeth sighed and leaned down next to her husband to look under the bed. "Neal, baby-"

"Don't call me that!" He spat at her as he buried his face in his drawn up knees.

Peter and Elizabeth both shared a confused look.

"Is that what all this is about?" Neal froze at Peter's question, worried, yet relieved that maybe they had figured it out. "You don't feel like you have enough independence? That we treat you like...a baby?" Peter felt like he had it all figured it out now. The getting ready for bed on his own, not asking for anything, not being dependent. He felt relieved to know that it was nothing serious, like Kate's or Ellen's death affecting him. But when Neal looked up at him over his shivering arms he was punched in the gut and put right back to where he was started. One look at Neal's betrayed face told Peter he was definitely wrong. El knew it to.

"Neal. What's wrong? Please, just tell us and we will leave you alone. I promise. Talk to us."

Neal's lip trembled violently as water pooled in his big, blue eyes while he stared at them over the crook in his arm. "I'm- I'm...not good 'nough." He buried his face back into his arms and for a few seconds he was sure they had fulfilled Elizabeth's promise because he heard nothing but his own sobs. A part of him, a very small part was glad he was alone, but the other part, the very big part of him, wanted nothing more than to just go back to the way things were, when he was the only kid Peter and El needed, wanted. He wanted to go back to being good enough. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that when he opened his eyes again he was surprised to find himself sitting in Elizabeth's lap out from under the bed and hugged tightly to her chest. His jealous and betrayed mind told him to pull away, but his heavy, lonely heart wanted nothing more than to stay there forever. He whimpered and buried his face in her neck while his hands searched for something to cling to. They found the material of her shirt but it didn't satisfy him. He kept flailing his arm blindly until he felt El's soft hand grab his and tuck his arm back down between them, never letting go.

"No. No, no, no, no." She kept whispering to him between the kisses she gave his temple. They were rocking back and forth slightly in sync with Neal's hitching breaths while Peter sat beside them on the floor with a gentle hand on the toddler's wracking back. "Why..." Elizabeth stressed, "why would you think that, baby?" She felt Neal tense in her arms and one look at Peter confirmed it. It seemed to hit both of them like freight train.

She swallowed thickly as did her husband. With a wavering voice she asked again, "Neal, what makes you think that?"

"Y-you'we going to twy to...to weplace me." Neal turned his head deeper into El's neck. "I found it...when...when I was hiding from Satchymo in you'we bathwoom."

Neither one needed to ask what 'it' was, but if they had, they wouldn't have been able to. The air might have as well been sucked from the room.

"Uh..." Peter stammered, trying to find something to say, but ended up retracting his hand from the toddler's back, which proved to be the wrong move after Neal's sobs picked up again. Elizabeth glared at him and his hand was back on the boy's spine. "Neal...we're not going to replace you. We're...we're not even...trying." He looked to his wife for support but all he received was a gap of pure bewilderment with a hint of anger, even though the statement had Neal's face moving away from the comfort of his mother's neck.

"That's not the point." El stated, glaring at her husband. "But...even if...we were," she shook her head at the thought of discussing their sexual life with the little boy, "it wouldn't be to replace you or because you're not good enough for us anymore." Neal just stared at her with big, blue watery eyes that caused her heart to shatter when they would close owlishly with each sniffle from his little nose. She pulled his head back down under her chin to hug him close. "Neal... you'll never be just enough for us." She felt him flinch and quickly elaborated. " You'll always be more than enough. So, so much more than enough." She felt the child, her child, curl into her and for the first time all week she felt like a real mother.

The possibility of being pregnant had scared her. She didn't really want to have a child when their small family already felt complete. But when the multiple tests came back negative, a part of her did feel disappointed. So all week, her emotions went back and forth between being relieved and satisfied to disappointed and guilty.

But feeling her son bury himself in her arms out of comfort and love, she knew that no matter if she had children of her own, the one in her arms would always and forever be hers. Maybe not by blood, but by heart and that was the only thing that mattered.

"Mommy."

The word was shaky and said through a shuddering breath, but to Elizabeth it sounded better than angels, knowing exactly what her son meant by the word. She kissed his temple and resumed tucking a curl of his dark hair behind his ear.

"I love you, too, baby. I love you, too." She gave him one last kiss before Peter pulled them to his chest where they remained there as a family until the sun came up over the city bringing with it the next day filled with oppourtunites to make more memories.

AN: Thanks for reading! Let me know what you think!