Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. I own Dodge and Burn.
Much love and thanks to Editor Azucena , Pre-readers BtwntheStacks and Lemonmartinis and Beta-MsKathy
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Dodge and Burn / Chapter Nineteen / A Grand Adventure
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Just outside Long Beach, it occurs to Bella that she may want to start deciding on her destination or she'll be on the train all the way to San Diego. She's always been curious about the mission in San Juan Capistrano, where the swallows migrate in the early spring, but something livelier is what she has in mind. She looks through the tourist brochures she picked up at the ticket window.
She hears a small cough and looks up to see a little boy with bright blue eyes and curly brown hair peeking around his seat at her.
She waves to him and smiles.
He waves back and then turns around to sit forward in his seat.
A minute later, she notices the boy hanging his head sideways around the seat and giggling as he watches her.
She waves and smiles again.
He scoots off his seat and steps closer until he's standing right next to where Bella sits. "I'm Henry," he announces.
"I'm Bella," she responds, extending her hand to shake his. "Very nice to meet you, Henry."
"I'm going to Legoland," he states simply, his eyes wide with anticipation.
"How exciting for you," Bella says enthusiastically. "Who are you going with?"
"My mama," he explains. "She feld asleep."
Bella briefly stands up in her chair and sees a young woman passed out, her head awkwardly twisted against the headrest.
"Yes, she did. Your mama's smart. She's taking a nap so she'll have lots of energy for Legoland. Maybe you should take a nap with your mama, too."
He shakes his head firmly. "No. I don't take naps."
"Ever?" Bella asks.
"Nope. My mama told Santa that all she wants for Christmas is for me to start taking naps."
Bella grins. She can imagine. This little guy is precocious.
"Have you ever been to Legoland?" Bella asks.
"No. It's my birthday treat and Mama says there's a big Lego store there, and I get to pick out my birthday present.
"You're going to love Legoland. It's so much fun!" Bella says enthusiastically.
"Are you going to Legoland, too?" Henry asks.
Just then Bella hears a gasp and Henry's mom rises out of her seat with a terrified expression.
"Henry!" she says. "You scared Mama. I didn't know where you were."
Henry drops his chin. "Sorry, Mama. I's just talking to Bella."
The woman makes an apologetic face as she looks at Bella. "I'm sorry. Was he bothering you? I didn't sleep well last night and I must have dozed off."
"Actually, I was enjoying the company," Bella says as she smiles at Henry.
"Can Bella come to Legoland with us?" Henry asks his mother.
"Oh, Henry, I don't think Bella wants to come to Legoland with us. It's for kids, not grown up people."
The words stir something up in Bella and it occurs to her that perhaps Legoland is exactly where she should go today.
"Actually I'm on an adventure, and I think that Legoland should be my destination."
"An adventure?" asks Henry. "Like a pirate adventure?"
"Sure, like a pirate. Did you know there's whole place for pirates at Legoland?" Bella asks.
Henry's mom shakes her head and laughs as he sputters and stomps his feet. "He's obsessed with pirates," she says softly to Bella with a wink.
Henry puts a hand over one eye and starts singing "Yo ho…" to himself.
"My son was, too," Bella replies. "I think little boys are genetically programmed to like pirates."
"So you're really going to Legoland?" she asks. "Because please don't change your plans on our account."
"I promise…I may not stay long but I'd really like to go. You know there's a part of the park called 'Miniland' where they have used Legos to recreate parts of the great cities and landmarks of the world. It's one of my favorite things ever, and it'll make me so happy to visit it again. My son is grown now so I haven't been there in quite a while."
"I'm Gina, by the way. It's nice to meet you."
"Likewise," Bella responds with a smile. "Hey, why don't we share a cab to the park?"
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Two hours later, Gina and Bella set their trays on a table near the play-structure inside Legoland. Bella hadn't planned on tagging along through lunch with the duo, but she and Gina hit it off and are enjoying sharing stories. Henry seems happy to have another person join their little team, too.
During lunch they manage to charm Henry into eating half his hot dog and a few fries before he makes a mad dash for the rope ladder that leads to the swinging bridge.
Gina rolls her eyes. "That kid wears me out, I tell you. I can't keep up with him."
"I bet," says Bella. "He's got a lot of energy. Are you a single parent?"
"No, but I feel like one," Gina admits. "My husband's deployed in Iraq for six months this time. It's so sad not to have him here for Henry's big day. I've been having a hard time managing everything without him, so my in-laws paid for us to come out to stay with them for Henry's birthday."
"How nice," says Bella.
"Yes, but they both got the flu two days after we got here. They were supposed to come with us to Legoland, but there was no way they could. That's why we ended up on the train…I was too nervous to drive since I don't know the area. And besides, Henry really loves trains."
"Well good for you for coming anyway," Bella says encouragingly. "I was a single mom. And even though my mom helped so much, I still understand how lonely and hard it can get."
Gina looks over and sees that Henry is negotiating the captain's wheel with another kid about his age. She turns back to Bella. "Was your son's father involved at all?"
"No," Bella shakes her head. "Actually, he was never in the picture."
"Wow. Never? That really must've been hard." Gina looks down at Bella's hand looking for a ring. "You don't have a man in your life at all?"
"Well, I had a boyfriend. But he broke up with me recently."
"Oh no, I'm sorry. How recently?" Gina asks.
"A few days ago."
"That's awful. Did he find someone else?"
"No actually, we had an argument and he broke up with me for…" Bella pauses, not sure how to explain. "I guess you could say for philosophical reasons."
"For philosophical reasons?" asks Gina, looking bewildered.
Bella nods.
"Oh No. Did you love him?' she asks.
Bella sighs and nods again.
"Did he love you?"
"Like crazy."
"Was the sex good?" Gina presses.
"The best."
"Seriously? If you don't mind me asking, why in the world are you at Legoland? I wouldn't let a disagreement ruin a relationship if my man loved me like crazy and was good in bed! I know I'm missing my husband, but if I were you I'd go get that man and show him what he means to me."
Bella laughs. "I wish it were that simple."
Gina raises her eyebrows and gives Bella a look. "Why can't it be? My grandma used to say that a good romp in the hay can solve almost any problem."
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Gina's comments weigh on Bella's mind as she and her new friends take a stroll through Miniland. To distract herself, Bella points out to Henry details about the miniature cities and landmarks. He excitedly runs from one area to the next, eventually deciding that he loves the impressive Lego recreation of New York City the best. Bella explains her favorite, New Orleans, where the tiny town is celebrating Mardi Gras. Gina shares that she loves the Eiffel Tower as it's always been her dream to go to Paris.
"You know, Henry, my son Jacob and I made a little version of our house after we went to Legoland the first time. What do you think you'll make?"
"Do pirates have houses?" he asks.
"Well they live on their ships most of the time. Maybe you could make a houseboat they keep docked at home," Bella suggests.
"So they always have a nice place to come back to," Gina adds, thinking about Henry's dad.
Bella watches Gina hug her son and she's hit with a wave of melancholy.
When they straighten up, Bella turns toward her new friend.
"You know, all of this makes me miss my son. I think I'll call him and then after, I should head back to the train."
"Oh no, you're leaving us?" Gina says sadly. "You've made this day so much better than I'd even hoped."
Bella smiles at her warmly. "That's so sweet. I appreciate how you welcomed me and I've loved getting to know you and Pirate Henry." Henry looks up at Bella with a smile.
"But it's good for you guys to have some time to yourselves."
Gina gives her new friend a warm smile.
Bella bends down and talks directly to Henry. "I hope you know how much I've enjoyed spending time with you and your mom, Henry. Thank you for sharing your birthday with me."
"You're welcome," he says, falling into her hug.
When they part an idea occurs to Bella, and she unzips her purse. "Hey, Henry, I have a little birthday gift for you."
"You do?" he asks, excited.
Pulling out the small bag from Olvera Street, she watches Henry open the bag and pull out one of the little animal figurines. "My son used to collect these. You can put them with your pirates in your Lego houseboat."
"Wow!" Henry exclaims. "Thank you, Bella!" He grins as he reaches into the bag to pull out another creature.
"You're very welcome. And as for you…" Bella says, standing and giving Gina a hug. "You're so awesome. Thank you for including me in your day with Henry."
Gina beams. "I'm so glad we met you, Bella. I think you're pretty awesome, too."
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As mother and son walk away, hand in hand, Henry keeps turning back and waving with his free hand until they turn the corner headed to the boat ride and are no longer in sight.
Bella finds a bench to settle on, and pulls out her phone. Jacob picks up on the second ring.
"Hey Mom, how you doing?"
Bella smiles and sighs happily. It always makes her cheerful to hear his voice. "Hi, honey. You'll never guess where I am!"
Jacob laughs. "I have no idea. I don't know, the moon?"
She can almost see Jacob rolling his eyes playfully.
"Not even close," Bella responds. "I'm at Legoland! I'm sitting on a bench in Miniland and thinking of you."
"You're in Legoland? Why in the world are you there?"
"I felt like having an adventure today so I got on the train this morning and ended up here."
"Of course you did. Is Edward with you?"
Her heart thumps. "No. No Edward."
"Which reminds me," he continues. "Why haven't you sent me your dates and contact information for Italy yet? Aren't you leaving in a few days? I guess I'm going to have to call Edward and get it."
"No. Don't do that," she replies hastily.
Jacob pauses, sensing something's up. "Why not?"
"Well…he's not going to Italy."
"What do you mean he's not going to Italy? Why not?"
Bella's fingers tighten over the phone. "Um, something came up."
"Something came up?" Jacob sounds angry or maybe frustrated.
It reminds Bella of the talk that Jacob and Edward behind her back. She decides to not bring that up. This isn't the time to broach that discussion.
"Look, I don't want to get into all that right now. I just wanted to tell you that I'm at Legoland thinking of you and the good times we had here. Remember how much you loved the little cars and driving around the track? You would've done that all day if I'd let you."
"Yeah, I remember." Jacob laughs. "I think I still have all of my junior driver's licenses from those visits. Aren't they in that cigar box on my bookshelf?"
"I think so. We should look next time you're home. Hey, we can watch the videos I shot of you, too! I think I even saved a box of Legos in the garage."
Jacob's voice softens. "So you're at Legoland traveling down memory lane…everything okay, Mom?"
Bella sits up straighter as she considers his concern. Should she worry about herself? Is this disappointment with Edward causing her to act irrationally?
She remembers the last time Edward held her and how much love she felt for him…from him. She's filled with longing, realizing she may never get over her beautiful man, that no train ride will ever take her completely away from the idea of him.
Bella takes a deep breath. "I'm trying to be okay," Bella finally responds to her son.
"Oh, Mom," he says gently. "How are you getting home?"
"I'm taking the train back to Union Station, and then the subway into Hollywood, and then…"
"The subway into Hollywood! Are you kidding me? It'll be dark at that point. No way are you taking the subway alone at night into Hollywood."
"Stop being so dramatic, Jacob. I'll be fine. I'll just make some friends. I met the most lovely woman and her young son on the way out here and we shared a cab and spent part of the day together."
"You did that with complete strangers? Not helping, Mom. Look, text me with your train information and I'm going to arrange for someone to pick you up at Union Station."
"That isn't necessary!"
"Please don't argue with me over this," Jacob insists. "I'm going to do it so just do this for me. And don't leave one of your friends in a panic at the train station looking for you. Okay?"
"Who's the parent here?"
"Please, Mom," he begs.
"Oh, all right. You know I can't say no to you, sweetheart."
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Bella mutters under her breath as she heads in the cab to the train station. How did she raise a boy who worries so much about everything? She supposes it's a reaction to some of her antics over the years. She always hoped he would be a free-spirit like she aspires to be. Instead, he became Mister Responsible.
Determined to show Jacob she hasn't gone nuts, she texts him her arrival information as soon as she's in her train seat. She settles in and takes a deep breath.
What a day, she thinks to herself as she shakes her head and smiles.
She rakes her fingers over the upholstery as the train starts rumbling down the tracks. The view blurs past her window while she wonders what all of the events and encounters of her day have meant. She looks across her aisle and notices an older woman looking at her. Bella tries to imagine what the woman might think.
Can she tell that she's had an adventure?
Can she tell she has a broken heart?
Bella turns back to her window and tries her best to keep her chin up as the tears form. Maybe this is all too much, too soon. She thinks about the disappointment in Jacob's voice, him sensing something had happened to her and Edward. She ponders Gina's advice reminding her about what matters most. If she hadn't been so absolute in their fight initially maybe he would've been willing to stay and search for a compromise rather than just walking away.
She wonders what kind of manic energy caused her to do something so extreme today. Was she just trying to be distracted from her pain? Would it have been smarter to just stay at home and face her sadness head on and work through it?
She loved Edward like no other. It was a mature love, one of respect…one that sees we are imperfect yet still lovable. A love that knows we have rough edges and faulty parts, yet still are worth the effort. It was a great love.
He was her love…
…and angry words, and bitter disappointment doesn't change the fact; she knows the truth, without a doubt.
She loves him still.
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..~*~..
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Around four-thirty the phone rings and Edward answers it as soon as he sees who's calling. He can't avoid feeling a sense of dread.
"Hey, Jacob," he says immediately. "Everything okay?"
"I don't know. You tell me," Jacob answers. "Mom off-handedly mentioned that you aren't going to Italy with her. What's up with that?"
Edward pauses, relieved nothing bad seems to have happened, and annoyed at being questioned by Bella's absent son.
"Why don't you ask your mom," Edward suggests with a sigh.
"I already have. She changed the subject. Maybe she would have answered if she wasn't so distracted."
"Distracted?"
"Yeah, calling me from Legoland and all. What the hell was that about anyway? Can you tell me why she just got on a train, met some strangers, and spent the day with them at Legoland? That's a little manic, even for Mom."
"Legoland?" Edward asks, not hiding the shock in his voice. "Why'd she go to Legoland?"
"The hell if I know. That was one of the reasons I'm calling you. I'm worried about her. Believe me, I wouldn't call if I wasn't concerned."
Edward begins to compute what Jacob is telling him, and wonders what's going on with Isabella.
"Why else are you calling me?" Edward asks. "You said it was one of the reasons."
"Yes, I want to know if you can pick her up at the Union Station downtown when her train arrives in a few hours. She has the crazy idea she'll get off the train, take the subway into Hollywood, and then the bus to Hancock Park, but she appears to have no clue what a bad idea that is. A woman alone at night in those crappy areas…damn! I wish I were there right now."
Edward's mind reels at the idea of Isabella in those circumstances alone on dark, risky streets. She'd probably chat up a psycho, think he's charming, and offer to bring him home to shoot his picture or something. He starts to panic.
"No, she can't do that. She needs to be picked up right at the train platform."
"Yes, Yes," Jacob agrees with a sigh of relief. "So you'll go?"
There's a long pause as Edward realizes he has no choice. With these circumstances, he has to tell him the truth. "I can't go. She won't want me to. We broke up, Jacob."
"What? You broke up? But I thought…"
"It didn't work out," Edward says with a neutral voice.
"But she's crazy about you. She told me just last week that she's never been in love like this before. How could things fall apart in one week? I don't understand."
How could things fall apart in minutes…seconds? Edward thinks to himself.
"I'm sorry, I really am, but you're going to have to talk to your mom about this."
"But you told me you weren't going to abandon her."
"I didn't," Edward says, trying to hold back the frustration.
"It sure sounds that way to me. Damn, I can't believe this. She was so happy."
It's painful for Edward to see Jacob so full of concern for his mom.
"So you're sure you won't go get her? I bet that would mean a lot to Mom, you showing up to look out for her."
Edward's heart constricts hearing this son want so much for his mom to be okay, to be protected. He wishes things were different and that it was him going to get her, not Leah, Angela, Michael, or one of her other many friends Jacob can reach out to.
It also occurs to him that with his and Bella's relationship over, he'll never get to know Jacob better…watch a football game with him at Thanksgiving, or join in when Isabella and her son tease each other.
Edward swallows and closes his eyes in pain. "Sorry man, just take my word for it…she wouldn't want me there."
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..~*~..
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The exhaustion starts to hit Bella when the train finally pulls into Union Station. As she disembarks, she'd almost forgotten that someone would be there waiting for her, and she's silently relieved to see that Angela's the one who agreed to come.
"Bella!" Angela yells out, as she waves and moves toward her friend.
Bella steps forward and gives her a warm hug. "Thanks for coming to get me, Angela. I take it Jacob twisted your arm."
"Well, he did make things sound rather dire, but truly, Bella, I was more than happy to come get you." She loops her arm though her friend's and starts leading her to the exit. "So now, what's this about you taking the train to Legoland?"
Bella grins, knowing her reputation for being a colorful character is now indisputable. "Yes, well…" she says happily as her cheeks blush, "I woke up this morning and decided to have an adventure."
"Really?" Angela asks. "Just like that?"
"Yup," replies Bella with great satisfaction. "Actually, when I headed out this morning my only intention was to have breakfast on Olvera Street, but then I got this idea to walk through the train station…"
"And you then just randomly decided to get on a train?" Angela asks, laughing.
"Yeah, pretty much like that," Bella responds.
"Are you getting geared up for your big Italy trip or something?" Angela asks. "Because that adventurous spirit will be well utilized there."
Bella smiles at her friend. "That's part of it. And you know, I just needed today to be different in every way. A departure, if you will."
"Well, it sounds like you achieved your objective then." Angela studies her. "Are you hungry? I've eaten, but I'd be happy to sit with you if you want some dinner."
"I'm fine, thanks. I'm actually really tired so I think I'll go to bed early tonight."
They climb into Angela's car in the short-term parking and as they buckle their seat belts, Angela chuckles.
"What?" Bella asks, grinning as she turns toward her friend.
"Sometimes I really wish I were more like you, Bella. So carefree…you just have this great spirit. I truly think that the world would be a better place if everyone was more like you."
"Really?" asks Bella, incredibly flattered.
"Yes!" exclaims Angela. "You know, you don't just let life happen to you, you take life by the horns and ride it for all it's got. You're fearless."
"Well, I don't know if I'd say fearless," Bella says. "I have things I'm afraid of."
"But a lot of times it's the simple fears that stop people in their tracks. Like I remember when you told me about hearing this wonderful music in your backyard and that you were going to find out who played it."
Bella smiles sadly at the memory.
"Next thing I know you've not only found the guy, but convinced him to play for you. Right? You didn't let your fear of rejection stop you from trying to meet him."
"Yes, that's right," agrees Bella, trying to sound light-hearted.
"And then just weeks later he's completely under your spell. I swear, that man is so in love with you."
"Really?" Bella asks, her curiosity overcoming her sense. She imagines another time before they fell apart, when she was still his sun and moon. She doubts he loves her anymore, but it feels good to believe it again, if only for a moment.
"Oh my, yes," Angela says. "He must have texted me ten times tonight to make sure I was picking you up and bringing you home. He was very persistent about it. You know, now that I think of it, he didn't mention where he is. Is he out of town or something?"
Bella fumbles, still stuck on the idea that Edward was worried about her getting home. Jacob must have called him. "Um, yeah. I mean I'm pretty sure he had an important meeting this evening."
"Yes, I knew it was something like that," Angela says. "He was really intent on getting you home safely. It was sweet. That man really loves you, Bella."
Bella's heart swells. She can't help it; her rays of hope are multiplying with each moment passing. "He's really something, isn't he, Angela?"
"Yes, he surely is," she says.
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That night in bed, Bella gazes at his framed picture next to her bed. In the dim lamp light she can barely make out the details of the picture, but the way he looked at her during that shoot still takes her breath away.
"Oh, Edward," she says aloud, sighing softly.
"I miss you," she says, a tear working its way down her cheek.
"I bet you miss me, too. I bet you didn't mean all of those awful things you said to me. You've just been left too many times by the ones you love…you couldn't bear to be left by me too." She frowns and brushes away the tear. "I know I didn't listen enough and consider that we could find a compromise. And although I may have in the moment felt all those awful things I wrote about you after our phone call, they were more of an expression of my rage from our fight. They don't define how I'll always feel about you inside my heart."
"I still love you," she whispers.
She fights the urge to call him, to drive over and show up on his front door step. She would force him to speak, to let go of the bravado and talk to her until the sun rose. Talk until they had figured out how to build a bridge that soared high over their fears.
She struggles with her thoughts, madly trying to figure out how to get through to him. Finally, the idea comes to her, clear as polished glass.
Give him time, her inner voice whispers.
Give him time.
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..~*~..
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Two days later, Edward walks through Esme's Place to check on the contractor's work. The emptiness of the place is hard for him to take. The last time he stood in the mural room, Bella was with him.
He looks over at the beginnings of the artwork. Bella was more excited about the possibilities for the center than even he was. Her energy lit up the place. Now it feels desperately lonely, and all he wants to do is leave.
A number of the rehearsal rooms are finished and he examines them one by one. Other than some touch up details, he's satisfied with how the work's being done.
He hears the front door close and then someone call out, "Edward?"
Stepping out of the room, he looks for Rose. "Hey, you," he says, finding her in the main room. He gives her a hug. "Thanks for coming out to see the progress."
"Are you kidding? I'm excited about what's going on here. I'm happy to come." She turns toward the wall and studies the line work that's been laid out in preparation for painting.
"So that jpeg you sent me of the mural art, this is it, right?" Rose asks.
"Yes," Edward replies, nodding. "She's going to start layering in the color next week."
"That is going to add a lot to this space. You guys have gotten so much done already. I'm really impressed."
"Well, we're hoping to have it done in time for the fundraiser. We're going to have a video and pictures of the place to show that night."
"Great idea. How are the plans for the event coming? Are you getting a good response? I know Emmett is getting his partners and associates to come."
"Well, Alice is really managing the event, but she's excited by the response. She calls me several times a day with updates."
"I bet. Alice puts two-hundred percent effort behind things she cares about. There's no way the evening won't be huge."
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They continue to walk through the space talking both about the work that's been done, and what's yet to come. They end up in Esme's old office and Rose turns to Edward.
"Hey, are you feeling okay? You're looking pale and you seem kind of down."
Edward turns and looks away, but he can't hide things from Rose.
"Look, I don't want to push, but aren't you leaving on your big trip in a couple of days?" Rose asks. "You don't want to be sick when you travel."
Edward grimaces. "Actually, I'm not going on the trip." He takes a deep breath to steady himself. "Isabella and I broke up a few days ago."
"Oh no," Rose gasps. "You broke up? What happened?" She reaches out for the folding chair that's set up next to the makeshift desk the contractor has been using. As she sits down, Edward leans against the wall and rubs his face with his hands.
"Wait a minute!" Rose says. "This isn't about Lauren is it? When I talked to Alice, she told me that she's getting involved with the fundraiser."
Edward looks at her and tries to imagine what's she's thinking.
"…because I'm sorry, but you know I'm going to not be at all happy if you broke up with Bella to go back to Lauren."
Edward holds up his hand. "No, this has nothing to do with Lauren."
"Thank God," Rose exhales a sigh of relief. "What is it, then?"
"It all started with something I found at her house. Are you sure you want to hear all about this? It isn't pretty."
Rose points to the other folding chair and looks at her watch. "I don't have to get the kids until three. Have a seat. I'm all ears."
Edward flips the chair around so he's straddling the seat and leans his folded arms across the backrest. He slowly walks her through the entire nightmare: finding the pill bottle, their resulting argument, the misinterpretation of their make-up sex, all leading to the final scene where she vows she won't back down and he does the same.
Rose remains quiet, listening with a concerned look on her face. She even holds her comments while Edward talks about how he shoved all the Italy information in an envelope and pushed it through her mail slot. After he finishes describing their last phone call, and then his call from Jacob, she speaks up.
"You told her you didn't care what she did in Italy? You told her she was none of your concern now?" Rose looks horrified. "Please tell me you didn't say that?"
"I did," Edward admits. "I was really mad, Rose."
"And how old are you? This is something a boy would say after his girl kissed another boy at the prom." She shakes her head with disappointment.
"Hey, that's not fair," he protests.
"Seriously, Edward. Bella was forced by circumstances to tell you about a haunting decision she's made for herself. I'm sure it's not a decision she made lightly. It was done out of a fear I can't even comprehend. And this is how you handled it?"
Edward has fire in his eyes when he looks up at his sister. He can't believe she's defending Bella's decision.
"She all but told me that my feelings in this didn't matter. Her mind was made up. How the hell am I supposed to feel about that?"
Rose places her hands on the folding table. "See, the problem is this is a very black and white decision. There's no in-between compromise. So I'm not sure what you expect her to say. It sounds like she either does what you want—accept the disease if she gets it, and let you take care of her-if you stick with her. Or you do it her way; let her move on while she can still make that choice."
Rose shivers as she sits quietly for a moment thinking.
"She's proud, Edward. She wants to be remembered as Bella-the bright light. She's a person whose smile and charm make people want to follow her like the Pied Piper. She doesn't want to be that person-the one who's wheeled around and fed baby food. Can you really blame her?"
Edward looks at her, stunned by the wretched visual.
Rose slaps her hands down on the table. "You know what? Good for her, I say! You might be willing to change her diapers one day, but she doesn't want it…not a single minute of it. That isn't who Bella is."
Edward dips his head, finally hearing some of what he's been fighting to accept.
Rose watches him and a moment later picks up again.
"Look, I get it. You're angry, really really angry. Our mom died because she was too busy taking care of Dad to notice she was getting sick. Our dad took his own life without including you because he couldn't bear what his life had become. Your wife left you, screwing you over in your time of need. You have a lot to be angry about, but Bella isn't it."
She shakes her head and folds her arms over her chest.
"Because what you're telling me is that long before she met you, she put a pill bottle on her mantle that gave her comfort. She didn't do this to you. It isn't about you, and your relationship was still too new to sort through this kind of issue. Don't you think?"
Edward shrugs, unconvinced.
"Unfortunately, you finding the bottle like you did forced you guys to deal with it too early. That pill bottle was put up there knowing she had to have a plan. Is this a good time for me to mention that I think that's a kick ass idea? I knew I liked that woman."
"How in the hell can you say that after what Dad did to us."
"Has it occurred to you that Dad may have been thinking that making his own choice about dying was good for us, too. I know you'll never see it that way, but we were all broken over his disease. Look what you gave up to take care of him? Try to understand that I was sick with guilt that I couldn't do more for him. Yes, I lived all the way in Manhattan Beach and had three small kids, but I feel horrible that I wasn't there for him every day like you were."
"Don't say that. You did what you could Rose," Edward urges, his voice pained.
"But Dad was a proud man, Edward. He hated being so weak, depending on all of us just to live the most meager existence. He didn't want that for himself. Can't you see that?"
"It still doesn't make it right to me. It's not natural," Edward says.
"It's hard to say what is 'natural' anymore. Advanced medical care has allowed us to live longer than we would have naturally. But what comes along with that sometimes are these slow, degenerating deaths."
Edward lets his head fall down as he thinks about everything.
"Can I ask you?" Rose says in a soft voice. "Would you want Bella to take care of you if you ended up like that? Because I sure as hell don't want Emmett or the kids to be doing that for me."
"No, I don't want that, but sometimes that's just what ends up happening. We can never know."
"No, we can't," she agrees, her expression suddenly shifting. "So I guess you're smart with your big plan."
"What do you mean plan?" he asks.
Rose makes a face and then nods. "Yeah. I think you're actually wise to dump Bella like this. Who needs her and her problems? Years from now we'll all say, 'Bella who?'"
His head snaps up and he glares at his sister. "Rose," he warns.
Rose puts her hands on her hips and rolls her eyes.
"Oh, don't be mad. Come on! She's no big deal. You can easily go find another Bella. Right? Women like that are a dime a dozen. Why are we even wasting our time talking about her?"
"Oh Jesus, Rose, quit fucking with me."
"I mean it. I'm over her. I'll never bring her up again," she pushes in a taunting voice.
This isn't the first time Rose has challenged Edward with reverse psychology, but this time she's crossed a line.
Edward jumps off his chair, picks it up, and then slams it back on the ground. "Stop it!" he yells, before storming out of the room.
She charges after him.
"What? What?" she yells back.
He turns back at her, enraged. "Don't you dare tease me and say she doesn't matter. I loved that woman, Rose. She fucking brought me back to life. She's the most amazing person I've ever known, so just don't…"
"You loved her?" Rose asks with an emphasis on the past tense.
"Ahhh," Edward yells. "Okay, I love her. I LOVE HER. Damn it!"
His voice chokes up with frustration.
"I'm sure I always will," he says lowly. "No one ever came close to making me feel the way she does."
Rose walks over to Edward and grabs his shoulders and shakes him.
"Then figure this out, brother. Don't you dare walk away from her," she says.
"What do I do, Rose?" Edward drags his fingers through his hair in frustration. "What…do I do?"
He looks down at his sister and sees every wheel in her head madly spinning.
"When's that flight to Italy?" she asks.
"Day after tomorrow," he answers, shaking his head and feeling hopeless. "I wish we had more time so we could try to talk."
"You know, Edward, talking really doesn't have to take that long. You're making everything too complicated."
He slaps his hand against the wall.
"Can you give me a break here? Just tell me exactly what you think I should do. Please, I'm a man…just spell it out for me."
"You're willing to do the work? You're willing to compromise?"
"Yes, yes!" he answers, surprised to realize he finally is really willing to do whatever it takes.
She looks off into the distance and then smiles. "You know," she says happily. "Italy is a very romantic place. It's a wonderful place to work things out and get closer. Do you still have your plane ticket?"
He takes a deep breath, realizing what she's suggesting. "I'd have to check with the airline to see if I can get my seat back. It was business class so that helps."
"Okay, call them as soon as you get home. After that, you need to focus on getting your head on straight. You need to figure out what you want to say to her. It'd be good to try to talk to her tomorrow. Do you think she'll be willing to see you?"
"I don't know. She sounded really done with me when I was such as ass about Italy."
Rose folds her arms over her chest, reaches up, and taps her fingers over her chin.
"In that case, you may need to rely on the element of surprise. She can't avoid talking to you if you're sitting next to her on a long plane ride."
"Oh, that sounds really risky," Edward worries aloud.
"Do you think you think you have a choice? Do you really want her to go to Italy without you?"
Edward thinks about the ex-lover, Leonard, and shakes his head firmly. "No."
"Okay, then," Rose drills. "What are you going to do?"
Edward stands up straight and clears his throat.
"I'm going to get my head on straight, get on that damn plane…"
"Yes?" Rose asks, her voice rising dramatically.
Inspired, Edward pumps his fist in the air with determination. "…and get my woman!"
Rose smiles triumphantly.
"Now that's what I want to hear!"
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Thanks so much for sticking with me. How are you feeling about things now?
xoxo abbie
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