James got to him faster than he would have believed possible.
"Hey, hey, hey. Ok. Id's ok, jusd breathe, come on you can do id." Sirius was slumped with his back against the door, his arms were tightly strapped around his knees and his face was hidden in the mat his hair had become.
James was also leaning against the door for support, his sickness taking the energy he had to support his weight, but he was turned towards Sirius, with the side of his head resting heavily on the door.
"Go away" Sirius choked, not wanting James to see him like this but James stayed put, rubbing his back comfortingly until Sirius' grip on his legs loosened a little and he showed signed of relaxing.
"Yeah righd, like I'mb going anywhere" James said indignantly "I may be mad ad you and you may be an idiod but your still my friend, you're obviously having some sord of a mendal breakdown… and you look like crab" he added as an afterthought.
Sirius snorted half-heartedly "you're one to talk. Looked in a mirror lately" his half-joking tone became abruptly serious as his painful attempt at a smile faded "you're sick, you should got to the hos-"
James shifted weakly until he was facing the same direction as Sirius "I'mb nod thad sick, I'mb find" he protested.
"Note to James, 'fine' doesn't have a 'd' on the end of it."
"Fine-d… FINE-D. Damnit" James muttered, sniffing, crossing his arms like a small child as he failed to prove his point. Sirius chuckled softly before cutting himself off, he wasn't supposed to be laughing with James, he didn't deserve the breath James used to form that joke.
James tilted his head to watch Sirius' expression sink back into meltdown mode "I don't know if id's the hallucinations talking or if I jusd missed you a lod but id's been nice talking to you again." He looked down at his hands then said quietly "do you wand to try and explain?"
Sirius, whose hope had been rising through James' entire speech, nodded fervently, ran both his fingers through his dirty hair than said "I honestly don't know what I was thinking" he started croakily "Snape had just made me so angry, prying around Remus all the time when his fight's with us. It's no excuse but I just couldn't take his subtle threats about Remus anymore. I thought he deserved it at the time… How is he?" Sirius asked imploringly, obviously not talking about Snape anymore.
"I'mb not going do lie, he's nod good. He's nod even angry, he's just emodionless" Sirius flinched "he doesn't do anything besides the bare minimum. He's worse than first year." James kneaded his hands together before reaching up to mess up his hair, an unconscious move now.
There was a long silence; neither boy looked at one another until Sirius gasped. James' head snapped up but Sirius was still staring into his lap "I almost had a heart attack when I saw you…" he said quietly "I spent that whole night thinking about what could have happened… nightmares. And Remus… what it would have done to him... It was awful. I should have thought. I didn't think!" he burst out before slumping back against the door "I don't deserve your forgiveness."
James examined his face "I think you've suffered enough" Sirius looked up at him, hardly daring to believe. "I'mb still mad ad you" he sighed "bud I forgive you."
"Oh James I-"
"No, no, no" James interrupted "no more apologies, well to me ad least, id's creepy. Now you jusd have to work on everyone else."