Sirius opened his mouth but James was already on a roll.
"Peder won'd be doo hard do convince, he'll be happy do have you bag but Remus is really cud up aboud this, he dumped Hazel because he claimed he was 'doo dangerous' and id was 'only a madder of time' before he killed her" James rolled his eyes while Sirius cringed but brightened when James added "idiot."
"But how will I get him to forgive me, he's already looking furious in the rear view mirror" Sirius said miserably.
James shrugged "Whad do you always say?"
"Bet big or don't bother?"
"Exacdly. So even if id's a huge failure, he'll still know you care in your own weird way." James said all the while stifling a cough and trying to wipe the sweat inconspicuously from his overheating brow.
Sirius suppressed a smile "I may have a few ideas" he stared at James for a moment as his breath became more laboured before saying "Ok. Enough of this nonsense." He stood up, yanked James to his feet, hesitated, and then ducked his head under one of James' arms.
James struggled and hissed protests but Sirius stood firm "you're as weak as a kitten James, either I help you to the hospital wing like this or I carry you there, your choice."
James mumbled something about cavemen before allowing Sirius to drag him from the room.
"So whad are you going do do aboud Remus?"
"Oh I'm sure something will come to me" Sirius smiled as he manoeuvred them down the stairs.
James coughed "Good. Now go take a shower. You stink. And your hair looks like you've just escaped from Azkaban." Sirius chuckled darkly "and while you're ad id tell Peder that the potatoes are rebelling and he needs do buy the garden gnomes before the andelopes can reach the flag."
Sirius grinned "yeah I'll do that Prongs." He listened to James' nonsensical babbling all the way to the hospital wing but as much as Sirius loved hallucinatory James he couldn't help but smile affectionately at him, just happy to have at least one of his friends back.