Twilight character names belong to Stephenie Meyer. I own Dodge and Burn.
Much love and thanks to Editor Azucena , Pre-readers BtwntheStacks and Lemonmartinis and Beta-MsKathy
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Dodge and Burn / Chapter Twenty-Four / Life is Good
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It's a little fuzzy to Edward how he ended up playing someone else's guitar in the café's bar, but he's pretty sure copious amounts of alcohol were involved. Now that he's sobered up a bit, he takes stock of things. There's a middle-aged drummer to his left who appears to be related to the owner, and a young bass player to his right who suggests the next selection to play the moment they're done with a song. As they play, some of the patrons, who appear to be even more intoxicated than him, are loudly singing along to their Beatles's covers in thick Italian accents.
He's surprised how natural playing live feels for him despite the years of not performing. Back in the day he could play in every kind of condition; tonight proves he's not lost that talent. He also notices that the women in the bar are unusually attentive-yet another experience he's surprised he's having once again despite his age.
The young waitress who served him earlier is now perched on a chair and watching his every move while a group of her girlfriends talk around her. When they start playing "She Loves Me," the girls all get up to dance in a group. The waitress is making a show of it since every man in the place seems to admire her. She continues to gaze at Edward and, flustered by her intense attention, he looks away. She must be half his age.
When the makeshift band takes a break, he quickly steps outside to call Isabella, but first he glances at the time on his watch. It's ten-ten. With any luck she's headed home. He pulls out his cell phone and presses the familiar keys. He's very uneasy when the call goes directly to voicemail and he tries again. He fights back the panic building in his gut when the voicemail message comes on directly a second time.
"Answer your phone, Isabella," he says under his breath, gritting his teeth.
He tries a third time and when it goes to voicemail, he decides to leave a message.
"Isabella, why aren't you answering your phone? I thought I would hear from you by now. Call me and let me know that everything's okay and that you're headed home."
He ends the call and shoves the phone in his pocket. When he looks up, the waitress is on the edge of the patio watching him. She holds up a small glass.
"Look Edwardo, Bruno gave us grappa." She steps forward and offers him the drink. The small glass is frozen and shocking in his warm hand.
"Edwardo?" he asks with an arched brow. She's too familiar for his comfort.
"This is your name, yes? I heard you tell Bruno before."
She's paying way too much attention, he thinks.
"What's this?" he asks, lifting the glass.
"Chilled liqueur from…how you say…the skin of grapes?"
He takes a sip, then finding it tolerable, knocks it back. She slowly sips hers.
He gestures towards the set-up inside. "Well, I better get back. Thanks for bringing the grappa out."
She smiles widely. "You play very good music. You will play more now, yes?"
"Yes," he says, nodding as he heads through the door. He needs to be distracted from his worry about Isabella and playing music is the best option he has at this point.
As the grappa burns through him, things start to fall out of focus again. He's passed another shot, and he unsteadily checks his cell phone between the next few songs and calls her again.
Fucking voicemail.
The more he wonders about Isabella, the more the air feels thick and hard to breathe. His heartbeat accelerates as the room's walls start closing in. Unnerved, he suddenly rises up and puts down the guitar.
His makeshift band seems to understand, and nods as he pulls away, but the waitress trails after him.
"Edwardo," she says breathlessly. "Don't go. Come have another drink. We can go to my place. My flat's just around the corner." She waves her hand toward the dim street.
What the hell is happening? He feels like he's on some international reality show. What other folly will unfold tonight?
He closes his eyes and suddenly feels the weight of her hand on his chest. Instinctively he bolts forward, swiftly heading away from the bar without looking back.
He's halfway up the hill towards the villa before he slows from a charge to a pace. His mind races with thoughts of Leonard doing God knows what to Isabella. He tries to call her and barely resists hurling his phone against a nearby stone wall when he's thwarted once again.
He wishes he wasn't buzzed on grappa so he could get in the Fiat and go take Isabella away from Leonard's lair. He fantasizes about beating the crap out of the man who unfortunately remains the faceless father of Isabella's only child.
When he approaches the villa Eugenia, it's quiet and dark, a contrast to the rage that's building and burning inside of him.
He grabs a bottle of wine and a glass, throws open all the French doors, and takes refuge on the couch. A minute passes, then twelve, then forty-five. He pulls his fingers roughly through his hair after he glances at his watch the hundredth time.
The bottle makes a dull clunk each time it's emptied a bit more, then abandoned to the wood floor. He shifts sideways and listens hoping to hear a car or sign that Isabella is approaching home. Instead everything's loud in its deafening silence. He makes a fist, then releases it over and over.
He waits.
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..~*~..
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In his villa miles away, Leo finally loosens his hold on Bella, and she steps back.
"You're happy," she says, greatly encouraged by his response.
"So happy," he says with wide eyes.
"I'm so relieved," she admits. "I've worried about your reaction for years. I knew I'd be devastated if you weren't happy about Jacob."
"Well, all that worry could have been avoided," he says as he pushes a stray lock of her hair behind her ear. She startles, remembering how he used to do that to her long untamed hair when they were in school.
Bella realizes there's a light in his eyes that was missing until now. It's similar to the light that had shone bright when they were young and had the world at their feet.
He takes her hand and pulls her back to the couch. "Show me the book again, but this time I want to hear everything," he says excitedly.
She holds the album to her chest for a moment, her knees bouncing happily. The moment is so perfect she doesn't allow a sliver of regret to filter in.
Jacob has a dad that wants him…welcomes him.
This is a moment she will frame and hold in her heart forever.
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"He was such a happy baby," she says, opening the cover and running her finger along the image of infant Jacob bundled in her arms. "And so curious! He taught himself to crawl early so he could get around and explore."
Leo laughs. "Mamma always said the same of me. I exhausted her."
"As Jacob did me. But it was a good exhaustion. He was everything to me."
He reaches over and squeezes Bella's hand. "I can tell, Bella. Ahhh, and the way he looks at you."
"We've always been close," she says happily.
Time passes without a thought as Bella shares stories, and bit by bit helps Leo develop an more distinct image of his son. He's proud that Jacob was such a good student and so good at soccer, too. She swears his chest puffs up as she talks of his winnings. She explains that when Jacob was twelve he was positively possessed by the sport and fought hard for every victory. Leo tells her he's going to enlarge the picture of Jacob holding up the huge trophy and put it in his office next to where he works.
"And who is this?" Leo asks, studying Jacob's prom picture where he stands proudly with Carly, Angela's daughter.
Bella sighs. "That's Carly. I'm afraid he's still in love with her, and she's moved on."
"How could she not love our Jacob?" he asks, aghast.
Bella has to smile. Leo was always a proud man, but she sees that Jacob has already been put on a pedestal. Surely, in this man's eyes he will do no wrong.
"Well, when they went to college they were on opposite sides of the country…"
"Ah, separated by circumstances," Leo says softly, nodding. "Yes, that is heartbreaking." He gives Bella a knowing look.
"Yes, it is," she agrees.
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After a second viewing of the album, where Leo has a new round of questions, Bella realizes she needs a break. When he flips through the album yet again, she gets up and heads out to the veranda. As she leans over the short wall to gaze out at the view, she hears Leo's footsteps approaching.
"Are you okay?" he asks, stepping close and resting his hand on her back.
She nods. "Sorry, I'm just overwhelmed." She looks over at him and smiles. "I know that's a bit silly to say that to you considering how you must be feeling."
He rubs his hand gently across her back. "No, I understand. Of course I do. This is extraordinary for both of us, Bella."
He puts his hands on her shoulders and turns her to face him.
"You still haven't told me if my son knows about me."
Her expression saddens. "I'm sorry. No, he doesn't. All he knows is that I loved his dad, but sadly he moved away before knowing I was pregnant. He believes I had no idea how to reach you."
Leo nods and turns away.
"I've been waiting for it to come up again at some point, since now with the internet anything is possible. But honestly, his graduate work has taken everything out of him. He's just trying to stay focused and get through the program."
"I understand," Leo says, turning back to face her.
His defeated look breaks Bella's heart, and her expression falls.
He reaches up and touches her chin. "Can I meet him, Bella? Please. I need to see him…know him. I want him to know me." He's anxious, as if he's not sure she will allow their meeting.
"Of course," she says. "I was just thinking that he will be done with school in four weeks. Why don't I tell him then?"
"That is like a million years in my heart," Leo says sadly. "Can I at least come when you tell him?'
"You'd come to the US?" Bella asks.
"Of course," he replies.
"If it's okay with you what I'd like is the chance to tell him alone, let him process it. I will answer his questions, and then the next night we can all meet. Would that be okay?"
He smiles, feeling hope again. "Yes! Of course, that is a good plan. We shall do that!"
He pulls her into a hug. "Mama," he says softly in her ear.
She smiles and leans into him. "Papa," she answers back, amazed at the swirl of emotion she feels calling him that.
He shudders and brushes his own tear away. She pulls back, surprised.
"What, Leo?" She looks up at him, concerned about his sudden change in mood. "Are you okay?"
"I can't believe it. It's like a dream, Bella." He takes a deep breath to steady himself. "Papa," he says with reverence. "I'm a papa."
She reaches up and straightens his collar. "And you will be a good papa. He'll be very impressed to see the kind of man you are."
"What kind of man do you think I am?" he asks her.
"Accomplished. Smart. Good hearted…"
"Anything else?" he asks. "You said I was still handsome, earlier."
"Yes, I did," she admits as she exhales. "That, too."
He slides his finger under her chin and lifts it up so she faces him. "And you, Bella…"
Overwhelmed by his intensity, she closes her eyes. A moment later, she's shocked by the feel of his lips on hers and his arms pulling her close. For a single heartbeat, she remembers not just that he's Jacob's father, but the first man she ever loved with her heart and soul.
Yet in that instant, she also realizes that everything feels wrong about this. When she opens her eyes reality hits her with a deafening roar.
This isn't Edward, the man she loves who's waiting for her return.
"Stop," she gasps as she pulls away, but he holds on tighter.
"I know you feel this thing between us, Bella. It's powerful," Leo declares.
She finally breaks away from his grasp and steps back. "Of course, this is emotional for us, Leo. That would be expected," she insists.
"It's more than that, Bella, and you know it," he insists. "You can't deny it. We need to have some time together to figure this out. Please, I want you to stay with me."
"Stay with you?" she whispers with disbelief. Her stomach starts churning as she thinks of the kiss and how Edward will react when he finds out.
"I need you with me tonight, whether we just talk or more. Please give me that at least. We've already lost so much time."
He reaches out for her again. "Please."
She shakes her head. "Edward," she says.
"He must wait," Leo insists. "This is important, Bella. There is much to resolve."
"No," she says, stepping further back. "I love Edward, Leo. And I know we need to talk more, but it won't be tonight. I could never do that to him."
Leo turns away, his jaw tense. She can feel his frustration as he tries to hold it back. Finally, something shifts and he takes a deep breath, and with its release his stance softens.
"All right, Bella. Maybe we both need some time to adjust. But we're not done. This is just the beginning."
"The beginning of your relationship with Jacob, your son," she reminds him.
Despite her response, she knows he's right. Whatever the future holds, Leo's now a part of it and not only for Jacob. She'll be communicating with him, too. How will this all work now that he crossed a line and kissed her, insisting that he wants more. She's hopeful that it was just an impulse reaction to all the news about Jacob.
Regardless, she's filled with guilt over the kiss and worried about Edward. She doesn't want to be with Leo but will Edward feel secure enough to believe that? Only time will tell what all of this means to them.
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..~*~..
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The ride back to the villa is heavy with their silence. Leo masterfully handles the winding roads at a speed Bella would normally balk at, but in this moment she is grateful. She needs to get home quickly. They're almost to the villa when Bella remembers that she was supposed to call before he dropped her back off. She hopes Edward's all right.
When they pull up to the property, Leo leans down to study the villa through his windshield.
"It's dark. Are you sure he's home?"
She gives him a look. "Yes, I'm sure he's home. It's late, Leo."
He lifts his hands up in surrender. "Okay, okay. Go to your man, Bella. But remember the father of your son is waiting. Can we talk tomorrow?"
"Not a big talk tomorrow. I'll contact you in the afternoon to set up another time, okay?"
His fingers grip the steering wheel and he looks out over the car's hood into the dark night.
"Okay. Tomorrow then."
She turns toward him. "Thank you, Leo…for tonight."
He faces her with a sad smile.
"Yes, what a night, Bella. What a night."
He nods his head as she steps out of the car and closes the door.
She doesn't hear him drive off until the villa's front door is firmly shut behind her.
Smoothing out her hair and then her skirt, she heads down the hallway of the dark house.
..~*~..
Bella heads straight up to the bedrooms and peeks in on Edward, assuming he's asleep. She startles when she realizes that he isn't there and his bed's still made. It certainly hasn't been slept in tonight. She grips the doorknob and wonders where he could be.
"Edward?" she calls out, worried.
He doesn't answer, but a few moments later she hears a guitar chord. She tentatively enters his room and moves towards the French doors that open to the balcony. When she steps out on the balcony, she sees him sprawled out on the loveseat. His head is tipped back with his eyes closed. She looks down and notices the wine bottle and abandoned glass on the tile floor. His fingers rake over the guitar strings again and the sound jars her.
"Edward," she says with more insistence.
He opens his eyes, squinting at her as if her image is burning his eyes. He closes his eyes and nods slowly at her. She's never seen him look drunk like this.
"He drives a fast car," he says, loosely gesturing to the street that Leo just pulled away on.
"Yes," she agrees.
"You never answered your phone. I called so many times and you were gone so long. Thought you weren't coming back."
"Of course I came back, Edward." She feels horrible that he doubted her.
"I was waiting forever," he moans.
"I'm sorry you got upset but it looks like you kept yourself occupied," she says, picking up the empty wine bottle. She steps to the railing and looks down to imagine what Edward saw when she and Leo pulled up.
"Yeah well, I really didn't have a choice, did I?" he responds.
She studies him for a moment. He had plenty of choices, but she can't help but feel somewhat responsible for his current state.
"Oh Edward, so an entire bottle of wine was your only option?" she asks gently.
"Oh, that was just the capper. I had wine also with dinner at the café, and grappa while I was performing in the bar," he insists, like he's proud of that fact.
"Grappa?" she asks. "You performed?"
"Yeah. It seriously can kick your ass."
"Well, it certainly looks like it kicked yours. Look, I'm really sorry I didn't hear my phone ring. Maybe I didn't get reception up at his house." She sighs as she watches his eyes roll. "Why don't you get to bed, Edward. We can talk about everything in the morning. I'm home safe now. And make sure and drink water and take Tylenol. I'll bring you some."
She turns and starts back through the room when he calls out to her.
"Was he good to you, Bella? Was he everything you hoped he'd be?"
She freezes in her tracks, knowing she shouldn't engage with him in this state, but she can't seem to help herself.
"He's happy to know he has a son, if that's what you're asking," she says.
"I bet he was," he slurs. "And I bet he's happy you're the mom."
She steps away. "I'm going to bed, Edward. Goodnight. I'll see you in the morning."
He jumps up and follows her on unsteady legs, and when he catches up to her, he grabs her wrist.
"Hey! Don't go. We aren't done talking."
She tries to shake her wrist free. "Please don't do this Edward. Please let go of me. We can talk about all of this when we're clear-headed in the morning."
"Why? What's wrong?" he asks. He flips the bedroom light on and even though it's soft, they both still squint as their eyes adjust.
"Edward," she says with a patient voice.
"Wait," he says, taking a deep breath. "Why were you crying?"
She brushes her fingers under her eyes and then sees traces of runny mascara on her fingers.
"It was an emotional evening, Edward."
"Oh," he says looking down at her lips.
She doesn't like the look on his face and she starts to turn.
"Wait, wait," he says, and Bella takes a step back.
"What?"
"Your lips…" He runs his fingers over her bottom lip. "You kissed him, didn't you?"
His voice is very dark and unsettling.
"Stop it, Edward!"
"I can see it, Isabella. Tell me the truth."
She lets out a long sigh. "No, I didn't kiss him. He caught me off guard and kissed me, then I pushed him away and told him to drive me home."
Edward steps back, aghast. "He touched you, didn't he? It's as if I can feel it. It's like his fingerprints are all over you!"
"What are you talking about?" she asks.
"This is where it starts, isn't it," he slurs.
"Please stop it Edward. It wasn't like that, I swear."
He sways as he leans forward. "Did you fuck?"
"Oh no, how can you ask me that?"
He pulls her back. "I have to know, Isabella. I have to know. It will kill me."
In her upset, she wants to walk away, but she knows this would be a trying situation for any man. If she were in his shoes she might have gotten drunk and angry tonight, too. She knows she needs to answer him.
"No, I assure you that we did not fuck."
"Why not? I'm sure he wanted you."
"Yes, I suppose he did, since you insist on asking. But we didn't fuck. Do you want to know why?"
He nods, his face suddenly looking frightened.
"Because when I looked up into his eyes, he wasn't you. You are the only man I want. You are the man I love."
"Bella," he moans, reaching for her with his free hand.
She steps further back. "You are who I want…but we are both upset and we need to calm down."
Edward lets go of her wrist.
"I know this is hard on you, but you need to believe in me. I don't want to be with Leo and I'm sad that you wondered if I did."
Edward pushes his hands in his pockets and looks down.
"I'll tell you what," Bella continues. "I'm completely drained and need to sleep, and you need to sleep off all that liquor, so please Edward, please…can we just talk in the morning?"
He silently nods at her before turning away.
"Goodnight," she whispers.
When she reaches her bedroom, she peels off her clothes quickly, pulls on her nightie, and slides into bed without washing her face or brushing her teeth. Thankfully her exhaustion is numbing her heartache. Every part of tonight has been too much. She has never been so relieved to surrender to sleep.
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..~*~..
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By eleven the next morning, Edward still isn't out of bed, and Bella decides enough is enough. She packs a bag with towels, her swimsuit, and sunscreen. Then from the kitchen she makes sandwiches and tucks them into the bag, adding bottles of water and fruit. Finally, she gathers two Tylenols and the water she promised him last night and takes it to his room.
She pushes open his door to find him flopped across his bed still fully dressed.
"Edward," she calls out. "Edward!"
He stirs and slowly lifts his head.
"What?" he says, in a muddled voice.
"You need to get up."
He drops his head back down.
"Now," she urges.
"No," he grumbles into the duvet cover.
"Sit up!" she insists playfully.
"Can you leave?" he asks, his eyes wedged shut.
She walks over to him and yanks on his hair gently. "Come on...please."
His eyes blink open. "Did you really just pull my hair, woman?"
She nods. "Uh huh. Sit up."
"Jesus," he grumbles and twists his body on the bed and slowly rises. "What do you want?"
She studies him as she unscrews the water. She hands him the bottle and after he drinks some, she hands him the two Tylenol. "Take these."
He gives her a frustrated look, but takes the pills and washes them down. After setting the near empty bottle on the nightstand he roughly rubs his hands over his hungover face.
"Damn, I feel like hell," he groans.
"Undoubtedly," she says. "Okay, I'm going to make you some strong coffee. Jump in the shower and we'll leave shortly."
"Leave? Where are we going?"
"I'm taking you to the beach."
He smirks and falls back on the bed. "Oh, no you're not. You're nuts."
"Maybe, but you're going with me, even if I have to drag you there."
He groans loudly. "I'm much bigger than you. I don't think that's possible."
She grabs his ankle and starts to pull hard. Of course she doesn't accomplish anything but pulling his jeans down several inches.
He smirks. "Keep at it, woman, and you're going to get a show."
She drops his ankle, exasperated, and puts her hands on her hips. "Please Edward, please. We need to talk, and I want to go to the beach."
He props himself up on his elbows and watches her with a concerned expression.
"All right. Don't get upset, Isabella. I'll come."
She smiles softly at him. "Thank you." She turns to walk out and turns around as she gets to the door. "Bring your swimsuit. All right?"
"Sure, whatever you want, bossy lady."
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Down in the kitchen she's just finished making some toast and coffee when he ambles in dressed in swim trunks and a white T-shirt. His hair's wet and combed back, and his beard's almost full now.
He holds his hands out. "Look, I'm ready."
She hands him his mug of coffee. "I see that. You look better already."
He holds up the travel mug with the drink spout. "Thanks, but what's this?"
"I found that in the cupboard. I thought I could drive while you have your coffee and toast. That way we can get there faster."
His expression falls. "Why are we in such a hurry?"
She turns to get her bag. "Well, it's past eleven and I've been waiting all morning. I'm just excited to see the beach here. Okay?"
"Sure, okay." He follows her out to the car still wondering what the rush it about.
"I'm driving," she says, pushing him towards the passenger door.
He settles into his seat and tries not to worry about what's ahead. They remain silent as she winds down the hills and makes her way onto the autostrade. When he glances over at her, her mind seems as full of deep thoughts as his. He wonders if his drunken behavior last night, or at least what he can remember of it, was some type of last straw for her.
He folds his arms over his chest as he stares out the window.
What if this is it? He thought they were making progress, but everything feels shaky again.
Damn Leonard, Mister Baby Daddy, and his hold on her now.
When they arrive at the beach, Edward goes to the attendant and pays for their beach set-up and small changing shed. Isabella slips inside then comes out in her two-piece. Watching her walk toward him, he gets stirred up with want even though he knows he shouldn't. She takes his hand and leads him towards the shore.
"Come on, we're going in."
"Already? I thought we'd lie out or have lunch first or something."
She keeps marching forward. "No. I need to tell you something, get this off my chest, and I need to do it in the water."
His stomach curls with apprehension, but he follows her across the coarse sand, and into the lukewarm water lapping at the shore. She pulls him in deeper and finally lets go and dives under. He follows her, and when he stands up, he shakes the water off like a dog.
She swims further out and he shadows her, finally calling out her name.
"Stop, Isabella. You're making me crazy. Will you please just tell me what this is all about before I have an anxiety attack or something?"
She looks over at him surprised, as if she doesn't realize how she's freaking him out.
"Please," he begs.
She nods. "Okay." She pushes her wet hair off her face and swims over to him. Once they're facing each other, she takes his hands in hers.
"Okay, are you ready?"
He swallows hard, then nods. "Yeah, I'm ready."
"Here's the thing. I had a lot of time this morning to think about all of this."
"Yes...?" he prompts. "By all of this do you mean what happened last night?"
"No, not just last night…all these things. Leo now being in my life, our big fight, my paralyzing fear that you will leave if I give you my heart again."
"All that?" he asks, sounding defeated.
"Yes. It's a lot, right?"
"Well, it's not exactly a walk in the park."
"So this morning, I finally found clarity while I was taking out the trash."
"Great. You thought of me while taking out the trash." He bends his knees and sinks lower in the water. "I can't avoid the symbolism, and it isn't helping my anxiety."
"Your anxiety?" she asks. "So you're really that tense?"
"Can't you tell? I feel like I'm about to jump out of my skin."
She steps behind him and starts rubbing his wet shoulders. "Ooo, you are tense. I'm not trying to stress you out. Why don't you try floating like I do? That'll help relax you."
"I just sink, Isabella. I don't have your special gifts."
"Maybe not, but you have your own." She places a kiss on the back of his head. With each moment passing of her touching him he relaxes a bit more.
The water moves gently around them, holding them up yet always shifting. The subtle rocking is comforting.
He lets out a long sigh. "I'm sorry I was such an ass last night. My jealousy made me crazy. I don't remember feeling that jealous before it my life…ever."
"Yes, it was hard to see you like that," she says.
He sighs. "I guess you could consider that a compliment."
"Because you don't want another man to have me?"
He shakes his head slowly. "No, I don't. Are you trying to tell me something here? Does he have you, Isabella?"
She thinks about his question as she slowly glides around to his front again to face him. She sinks back down in the water to wet her shoulders, then eases back up.
"He has my appreciation for welcoming Jacob as his son. But you, Edward…" She reaches out and places her open palm over his heart and then does the same to herself with her other hand. "…you have my heart."
He blinks at her, feeling a swell of emotion, but he's afraid to pull her into his arms until she's done saying what she needs to say.
She clears her throat. "When I took the trash out this morning, I must've stepped onto the street right when this poor young woman had crashed her bike. I'm not sure what happened, but she was on the ground and the bike was lying on top of her. Her boyfriend was following a distance behind for some reason, and when he saw what happened he literally lept off his bike and ran to her, lifted her bike away, and pulled her into his arms."
"Was she okay?" Edward asks, looking concerned.
"It was all very dramatic, but when I got over to them, other than some minor abrasions, she seemed to be fine. I couldn't understand what they were saying, but her boyfriend was so sweet and attentive. He took such good care of her."
Edward smiles as he realizes the poignancy of the moment. "We men love to save our women."
"Yes, you do," she agrees. Her hands now swirl the water around them as they stand facing each other.
"You want to take care of me, and love me, and know that I won't be with another man. What happened last night wasn't fair to you, Edward. After what occurred with Lauren, that must have been torture for you to know I was with someone who I had loved, who had loved me. Yes, he caught me off guard, but I can't tell you how much I wish he hadn't kissed me."
He looks at her with relief to know she understands that it was his worst kind of agony.
"Yeah, there's times like last night that I thought I shouldn't have come on this trip…that maybe it's time for me to go home. I'm not going to lie, Isabella. It killed me that you were alone with him when you don't fully want me still. And the fact that he kissed you…"
"Oh, Edward," she says softly.
"I need you to be mine only. I know that's more than you're willing to give right now, and that's so hard for me," he says.
"You know I was alone so long that it's hard for me to remember the natural expectations of being a couple," she says. "I think that's part of why our fight got so out of control. I've always just charged through decisions by myself, but now there's you."
He nods. "Yup, there is me. And I want it to be, now there is us."
"Maybe being around Leo last night reminded me what a mistake it is to just let time pass without having the courage to trust my heart," Bella says. "I love you so much Edward, and I don't want to lose a single moment with you." She moves closer and places a hand on each of his shoulders. "So what I want to tell you is that I'm not going to be afraid anymore."
"Afraid?" he asks.
"Afraid of you leaving me, afraid of us not working. I just want to love you, and you to love me."
"You do?" he asks, wanting to be sure about what she means.
She smiles sweetly, looking up at him. "Will you be my boyfriend and lover again? I don't want to be safe and slow with my heart anymore when it comes to you."
"Oh, thank God," he groans, as he puts his hands on her hips and pulls her closer. "You dragged me out here to give me good news. Hell, all I want to do is love you and be with you, Isabella."
"And I just want to love you." She rests her forehead against his. "Love you so big…like all the way to the moon and back."
His heart is pounding as she feathers kisses along his bearded jaw up to his ear.
"You know what you're doing to me, don't you? Saying that to me and being so close me like this," he says, his exhale ragged.
"I do," she whispers, running her hand across his chest and pressing her lips against his neck. "I want to do all the wonderful things to you, Edward."
He moans as she catches his earlobe between her teeth.
"Will you love me all the way, Isabella?" he asks with an edge in his voice.
"All the way," she sighs, smiling.
"Ahh, I can't wait to get you home, baby."
It's Bella's turn to moan as his hands slide deeper into the water and cups her ass, then pulls her against him.
Her arms wind around his neck and their lips meet and tell their own passionate story. They sink down into the water and she wraps her legs around him. She has no idea when she has ever felt this light and buoyant yet so heavily full of want.
"See, we're cleansed again," she says.
"Just in time to get dirty," he teases. "I've got my Isabella back."
"I'm yours only, Edward, and you know what?"
"What?" he asks, his lips against hers as his hands wander all his favorite places.
"I want to make love to you in every room of our villa," she insists as her hands wander too, moving lustfully over the evidence of his want.
"And in our pool," he adds. His eyes alight, he smiles sexily and kisses her again and again, as they make their own waves in the water.
Like the remaining piece of a complicated puzzle being eased into place, their emotions and passion align together instead of apart. In that perfect moment, hope and joy surrounds and settles them. They have Italy, and the warm sun on their heads, the Mediterranean sands at their feet. Life is good.
.
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Thank you for reading and leaving reviews...they challenge and inspire me more than you know.
xoxo
abbie
See you next Saturday!
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