~ Chapter 6: Campfire Conversations ~

- Merlin -

I couldn't sleep that night; I was overwhelmed with relief. He believed me. He really believed me. I didn't think he would. I'd been prepared to have to defend my every action and to still see the hatred in his eyes once he learned that I was responsible for his father's death, but he met me with acceptance. It defied my wildest dreams.

I felt as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Arthur listened to me. More than that. He listened and believed me.

I stared at the flames of the kindling fire.

"Draeka," I whispered, not wanting to wake up Arthur. I made the sparks take the shape of a dragon. I stared at it, transfixed. It was a basic spell, one of the first that I learned.

Somehow it gave me hope.

"It's beautiful," his voice said.

With a shock, I sent the sparks back to the fire and turned to see Arthur, who was very much awake.

"Sorry," I said quickly.

"There's no need to apologize," he told me sincerely. "You weren't hurting anyone."

I nodded, but made no move to do anything else. My words were stiff and formal when they came out; I couldn't quite hide my fear. "You should sleep, Sire," I told him. "We still have a large leg of our trip to complete."

"Merlin, you really are a complete idiot. How many times do I have to tell you not to call me Sire?" He asked me. There was a hint of legitimate anger in his voice.

I looked at him curiously. Why was he so angry? It wasn't like I insulted him or something. And once upon a time, he'd tried very hard to get me to address him more formally. "Why do you care?" I asked him.

"Because you are more than my servant Merlin," he told me. "You are someone I can go to for council. I trust you, and you are my friend."

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. "Nice to know you care," I told him sincerely.

He was silent for a moment. Then, like any nice moment we have, he had to ruin it. "Me care? Don't be stupid," he told me.

"But you just said we were friends," I pointed out.

"No, I think you were imagining things," he said with feined stubbornness.

"No, you're right. I don't think I could ever be friends with such a dollophead," I teased. Well, I never claimed to be any better than him. I love ruining a moment as much as the next guy.

Arthur chuckled lightly.

We fell into a long silence as the last of the embers died out. Darkness completely engulfed us.

"Tell me more about your magic," Arthur requested.

"What do you want to know?" I asked him.

"Why do you only use it like you do? So many sorcerers use it for power or riches, but you only use it to help me or help Camelot. You don't use it for evil," Arthur asked.

"Do you want me to be evil?" I asked him. There was the slightest hint of anger in my voice, but I couldn't help it. He believed me to be the exception and not the rule. That was unfair to all of my people.

"No!" He said loudly. "Of course not. I just don't understand. You could have used your powers to become wealthy or powerful. You could have used them for anything but serving a spoiled prince. Why didn't you?"

"I never wanted that," I answered him honestly. Somehow in the darkness, I felt safer talking about my magic. "I didn't even want to use my powers to save you at first. Every day, I battled with myself. I didn't know if I was a monster. I didn't know why I was given these powers. I just knew that I had them for a reason. Magic isn't evil. Some people that wield magic abuse that magic and use it for their own gain. I've never wanted power or wealth or anything like that. I've just wanted you to stop being a prat and grow into the king you are destined to be." I hadn't meant to say so much, but once I'd started, there was no stopping me..

"Thank you Merlin," he said to me. "I know that it's not something I've said often to you, but even when I thought you were just my stupid, uncoordinated manservant, I appreciated everything you did."

A long silence stretched out before us. No matter how hard I tried, sleep still evaded me. "Thank you, Arthur."

"For what?" He asked me confused.

"For listening to me. For giving me a chance," I answered. "For ten years, I've been terrified about what would happen when you found out about my magic. I knew it was inevitable. I'm thankful that you gave me a chance to explain my magic to you."

"That's why you were so scared to tell me, wasn't it," he guessed. "It took you a long time to actually say it. And even when you did, you were crying and scared."

"Yes," I told him. Normally, I would have thrown in a joke about how nothing could get past him or told Arthur I wasn't crying, but we were having a really serious conversation. And I wasn't Arthur; I didn't feel a constant need to ruin moments.

"I'm sorry it was so hard for you," he told me. "I wish I could have been smarter when you first told me. I was scared of you, but now I realize I have no reason to be."

I didn't know what to say to that. I apparently didn't need to say anything. After a moment of silence, Arthur spoke again. "So you saved me from the witch, prevented Gwen from getting executed, and healed my father before Morgana killed him. Is there anything else you did?" He asked me curiously.

"What you just listed? That's not even a small part of what I've done," I told him. I fidgeted uncomfortably. Him asking me this was akin to him asking to see into my soul.

"Well, I won't know if you don't tell me," he pointed out.

I sighed. It was weird to talk about it. "Arthur, I didn't do this stuff for recognition," I told him. "I didn't do it so that one day, you'd be able to thank me for everything I did. I did it because I believe in you."

"I know. But I want to know, all the same," he told me. "I want to know how many times you have saved my life, how many times you have saved Camelot."

"I can't remember it all. I've saved your life so many times, I lost count," I told him. It wasn't even a joke.

"So what if I think of something and you tell me if you used magic?" Arthur requested.

"Okay," I agreed. That would probably be the easiest anyway.

"The dragon," he told me.

"Kilgharrah," I said out loud.

"I beg your pardon?" Arthur asked confused.

"His name is Kilgharrah," I told him.

"You know him?" Arthur asked, sounding shocked.

"Yes," I told him. "It was I who set him free and it was I who made him stop his destruction of Camelot."

"You set him free?" Arthur asked angrily. I could see the visible effort it took for him to calm himself down.

"That was his price for giving me the information I needed to save your life so many times," I explained. "Would you rather be dead?"

Arthur took a deep breath, refusing to answer my question. "So you used your magic to make him stop?" he asked.

"Magic is useless against dragons," I told him.

"Then how?" He asked me.

"I am the last dragon lord," I told him.

"Then why the hell did we go searching for that dragon lord?" He asked me incredulously.

"Balinor was my father. I didn't inherit my dragon lord powers until he died," I explained. My voice sounded hollow, even to me. There were some things I doubted I would ever get over and losing my father right after meeting him was one of them.

"I'm sorry," Arthur said softly. "I had no idea."

"There's nothing you could have done," I told him.

"But there is. I could have been sympathetic. You lost your father that day and couldn't even acknowledge it," he told me.

I shrugged, a motion I knew Arthur wouldn't be able to see. "If you found out he was my father, you would have told Uther, and I wouldn't be here," I told him.

"Is this dragon still alive?" Arthur asked me.

"Yes," I told him. "I couldn't kill him. He may have been angry and he took that anger out on Camelot, but he has also been endlessly patient with me… patient is the wrong word. He had reluctantly helped me at a time when I was too stubborn to heed his advice. If it wasn't for him, you would have died a long time ago."

"I guess I owe this… what was his name? Killjaru?" Arthur asked.

"Kilgharrah," I corrected.

"I guess I owe him a thank you," he told me.

"I'll be sure to let him know," I promised Arthur.

"Thank you Merlin," he told me.

I smiled to myself. I could get used to Arthur saying thank you.