~ Chapter 9: Remedies ~

- Gaius -

Every morning, I checked his room and every morning I saw the same thing. It was exactly the same way as it was before, save for the layer of dust that grew larger every day.

I couldn't believe he was gone. I knew it was him that killed Morgana. Only he had the power and the means to kill her. Arthur was too injured. I knew his magic didn't make him immortal; I just always thought he would come home. That's always what he had done in the past. He saved Arthur then came home and complained about how ungrateful Arthur was. That was how it was supposed to be. My heart clenched as I realized that was not going to happen again.

I felt as though I had lost my son.

I shook my head, forcing myself to close his door. I made myself eat some breakfast and began distributing remedies.

I had a special remedy to deliver last, but my ill patients had to come first.

I first went to Jean. Her husband suffered from a lung disease. It was incurable, but the effects could be neutralized. I had been treating him since he was just a boy.

Then I go to Phillip and then Freyor and then Aligar and then Barla. And the list goes on and on and on. My list of patients has grown since Arthur's death. People are so upset about his demise that the sick have gotten sicker and the elderly were too old to fight it. Mostly, it's a mental issue. But at an old age, if someone didn't have faith, it could be life-threatening, and I was afraid Arthur's death had seriously demoralized the people.

It wasn't like when Uther died. The people respected Uther, but they didn't like him. The people loved Arthur. He was just and kind and listened to their problems. He went out of his way to help his people. His people felt that they knew him and now that he was gone, the people felt that they lost more than a king. Everyone could feel that he was no longer here.

I looked up at the sky. "You left too soon Arthur. Your people need you," I said quietly.

I probably should have said something to Merlin, but I wasn't ready to. I didn't know if I ever would be.

As I finished handing out my treatments, I headed back to the palace. I knew exactly where she would be. She would be in her bedroom, the same place she always was when she didn't have any royal obligations that she had to pick herself up and make herself look human for. My heart broke for her, but this was getting ridiculous. She couldn't go on like this.

It took me a while to ascend the palace steps. Old age did that to you and the people of Camelot weren't the only ones suffering. I didn't know how to go on without Merlin. When I got to Gwen's chambers, I knocked gently on the door.

"Enter," she called. Her voice was calm and powerful. That would disappear once she saw me. She didn't have the strength to keep up the pretense when she didn't have to.

I entered and sure enough, sorrow washed over her when she saw it was me.

"I keep hoping he will miraculously show up," she whispered to me. "That one second, he'll come barging through that door and it will be like he never left. That's probably insane, isn't it?"

"It is never insane to hope, my lady," I told her. "But while you hope, you cannot sulk in your room. I apologize if I seem forward, but you have an entire kingdom to look after. Your people need you. They need you to be present and comforting. You are doing no good to them by locking yourself in your room and crying over Arthur. It's okay to mourn, but mourn with your people. You need to help them get through this. You need to keep yourself safe and healthy."

Gwen stared at me shocked. "Thank you Gaius," she said softly. "I know I needed to hear that."

"The losses you have experienced are understandable. No one will judge you on your grief." The poor girl must feel all alone. "How are you feeling?" I asked her hesitantly.

"Ill, like always," she said with a sigh.

"That's to be expected," I told her. I pulled out the draft that I had prepared for her. "Drink this. It will help."

She stood up and walked over to me. She took the draft, looking at it nervously.

"Is it safe?" She asked me.

I nodded. "I treat many with it. It's very safe and it will help you," I told her. "I will prepare one for you every day. It will help make this easier on you."

She hesitated then drank what I had handed to her. "What if I can't do it Gaius?" She asked me nervously. "What if I'm not strong enough?"

"It's too late for thoughts like that," I told her gently. I couldn't imagine how she felt. She had to bear the weight of the world, and she had no one to share it with. "Besides, you will be just fine. You are not alone Gwen. I am here to help you. And you have your knights and your people. They will not abandon you."

"I don't think I'm ready for this," she said, tears streaming down her face.

"You are ready for this," I told her. "You have proven to be kind and compassionate. Those aren't skills you learn Gwen. You have them and they will help you. You don't have to do it alone."

"I know I'm not alone. I… I just can't imagine doing this without Arthur at my side," she said, her tears picking up, she leaned her head on my chest.

I wrapped my arms around her, trying to comfort her. "You have to, my lady," I told her gravely. "That is Arthur's heir you carry. Arthur may not be here, but he is not gone. He will live on in your child."