South Park Ficlet Collection I

by ChaosKirin

A collection of little ficlets based on the South Park universe. Many characters. Probably a little something for everyone.

7. Fun With Cthulhu

I AM THE MOST POWERFUL CREATURE IN THE UNIVERSE. MY NAME IS CTHULHU. I AM A DESTROYER OF WORLDS. I AM THE DARK LORD. ENTIRE DIMENSIONS BOW BEFORE MY POWER.

AND HERE BEFORE ME IS A CHILD DRESSED UP IN AN ANIMAL COSTUME. I REALIZE THAT HE IS MORE HORRIBLE THAN I. THIS SHOULD NOT BE POSSIBLE, AND YET HERE IS THE EVIDENCE BEFORE ME. I WILL NOT BELIEVE IT. I CANNOT BELIEVE IT. SO I WALK AWAY.

BUT THE CHILD. HE FINDS ME AGAIN AND I SENSE WITHIN HIM A DARKNESS THAT CANNOT BE TAMED. I HAVE NO FRIENDS TO DESTROY, BECAUSE FRIENDSHIP IS A FOREIGN CONCEPT TO ME. BUT THIS SIMPLE HUMAN CHILD HAS FRIENDS THAT HE WISHES TO SEND INTO OBLIVION FOR ALL OF TIME. I SAY TO MYSELF THAT I STILL WILL NOT BELIEVE IT, BUT THE CHILD IS SMILING AT ME, APPEALING TO ME WITH A DARKNESS THAT HE DOES NOT EVEN REALIZE HE POSSESSES.

I LET HIM LIVE.

FOR HIM, FOR HIS DARKNESS, FOR THE BLACK SOUL THAT DWELLS UNDER LAYERS OF FAT, I WILL DESTROY IN HIS NAME. I WILL DESTROY HIPPIES. I WILL DESTROY MUSICIANS. I WILL DESTROY HEALTH FOOD DEPOSITORIES.

UNTIL I GET BORED. THEN I WILL EAT HIM AND HIS DEATH WILL BE SWIFT AND PAINLESS.