HI! HI! HI! I JUST ATE A BUNCH OF SUGAR SO THIS MIGHT BE A REALLY WEIRD CHAPTER!
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"So, you were dating Sinead to make me jealous?"
"Yeah…"
"That's hilarious."
"What do you mean? I thought it did make you jealous."
"It did make me jealous, but what's funny is I was dating Hamilton to make you jealous."
"Seriously?"
"Mmhm."
"Wow, we really are idiots. This whole time we could have been together, and instead we were trying to make each other jealous."
"Technically, it's your fault because you dated Sinead before I dated Hamilton."
"It's not my fault!"
"Is to."
"Is not."
"Is to."
"Is not."
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RRRRRRRIIIIIINNNNGGGGGG!
Whoever woke him up at three o clock in the morning by calling the phone in Cahill command was going to feel the wrath of Ian.
"Hello?"
"Ian?"
Unless of course it was Amy calling.
"Oh, hello, Love. What do you need?"
"Your research skills, the Vespers want us to find a Vermeer in Monte Carlo that hasn't been seen in twenty years."
"I'm on it, love. I'll call you as soon as I find out what I can."
"Thanks. Oh, and Ian?"
"Yes?"
"Don't call me love."
"Sorry, love, but the connection is breaking up and I have no idea what you just said so bye."
And with that he hung up. No matter what he would keep calling her love because if he didn't get his affection towards her out into the world somehow then he would spontaneously start kissing her the next time he saw her. So, he stuck with love.
Ian sings All To Myself by Marianas Trench
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"So, are you two officially together?"
"Madison, you don't just ask people if they're together!"
"Duly noted, Hamilton. So, are you?"
"Yes."
"Told you, Ned. Pay up."
"Here's your five dollars."
"Cool. Wanna drink Fanta and get a sugar rush?"
"Sure."
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"Is to."
"Is not."
"Is to."
"Is not."
"Is to."
"Is not."
"Is t-Mmmph!"
"…"
"…"
"That was a great kiss but it's still your fault."
"Is not."
"Is to."
"Is not."
"Is to."
"Is not."
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"Okay, we both have huge glasses of Fanta that will most likely make us act weird, so if I do or say anything that offends you, I apologize."
"First of all, you couldn't physically hurt me, I'm a Tomas. Secondly, only one thing could emotionally hurt me, and your not gonna say it while under the influence of orange soda."
"What's that one thing?"
"Just shut up and chug, Ned."
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"So, we're officially together."
"Yup."
"A Tomas and an Ekaterina getting along."
"Yeah."
"Just because we like each other doesn't mean we have to stop arguing right?"
"Of course not. It's weird already! We've gone five minutes without fighting!"
"I know! A year ago it would have seemed as weird as Ned saying that unicorns are real."
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"UNICORNS ARE REAL AND I WANT ONE! STUDIES SHOW THAT UNICORN POOP IS GLITTERY AND BEAUTIFUL!"
"THAT'S AWESOME!"
"MADISON, YOUR EYES ARE LIKE UNICORN POOP!"
"THAT'S THE SWEETEST THING ANYONE HAS EVER SAID TO ME!"
"I'M GOING TO KISS YOU NOW!"
"OKA-Mmmph!"
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"Is not."
"Is to."
"Is not."
"Is to."
"Is not."
"If you agree that it's your fault I'll kiss you again."
"It was so totally my fault. I'm so sorry. Now how about that kiss."
"…"
"…"
"I lied, it isn't my fault.'
"Is to."
"Is not."
"Is to."
"Is not."
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"WOW WE JUST KISSED!"
"I KNOW! AND YOU TASTED LIKE FANTA!"
"THIS WON'T RUIN OUR FRIENDSHIP OR ANYTHING RIGHT!"
"OF COURSE NOT!"
"GOOD. CAUSE I DON'T LIKE YOU LIKE THAT!"
"Oh."
"What?"
"That's the one thing."
"Madison! Wait, Madison! Where are you going?" If Ned hadn't had so much Fanta he would have realized that she was already gone as soon as he said he didn't like her like that.
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"Hey, Sinead?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you and stuff."
"That would have been really sweet if you hadn't added the, 'and stuff'."
"Oh."
"Hey, Hamilton?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you too."
"Cool."
"And stuff."
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"Is to."
"Is not."
"Is to."
"Is not."
"Is not."
"Is to."
"HA! I got you to sat is to!"
"Dammit!"
"Yay for me."
"Your pretty clever for a…what branch are you in?"