Just friends. Only friends. That is what Arizona Robbins had been chanting to herself for the past few months. The truth, of course, was that she had been in love with Callie Torres for years. Having her best friend back in Seattle, living with her and seeing her almost every day, however, was taking a toll on the blonde. Hiding her feelings was becoming much harder. A lot harder. And if Arizona were completely honest with herself, she would say that she had been in love with the brunette from the moment she laid eyes on her.
It was New Years' Eve and, by chance, trickery, and a ton of begging, both girls and their lot of friends had been given the night off from work. It started a few days before with a fellow co-worker of Callie's coming down with chickenpox. Knowing she would set off risk of spreading the contagious illness, she slipped into his room intentionally to 'check in on him'. Later that evening, the chief went through the employees that had made contact with him and sent them home. Score for Callie.
Cristina had done the same, as had Reed and a few others from their residency group. Once Arizona learned that Callie would be free for New Years' Eve, she began her pleading with Derek and her brother to get the night off.
"Joe, come on, I've been here every holiday that you have asked me to for the last ten years. Give me this one night off."
"We are slammed on New Years' Eve every year, sis. I need you here." he replied, shuffling cases in beer to the front of the bar as they talked.
"I'll work till ten and then come back in the morning to clean. You can leave everything for me to clean."
Joe continued to stock the bar and walked with his sister and Derek as they worked. Arizona looked to Derek for help and then back to her brother. "I will throw in a free car wash once the weather is nice and do your laundry for a month."
Derek piped in. "I think we can manage it, guy. We have Meredith and Sadie helping and if Arizona stays till ten then, we should be okay."
"Three months."
Arizona looked up from the bar and to her brother.
"Three months of laundry and you are in here in the morning to clean up."
"Thank you, thank you, thank you Joe!" She hugged her brother and winked at Derek before racing home to tell Callie she would be able to join the gang for the big night.
"Alright, tabs are on the end of the bar and the case is fully stocked." Arizona sad as she threw her bar towel in the laundry bin. "You guys will be okay, just keep an eye on the regulars and the frat guys over there in the corner."
"Got it, boss." Her brother said sarcastically.
"You go on and have fun, Robbins." Derek gave her a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Good luck."
"Thanks."
Arizona had told Derek of her plan to finally spill her heart to Callie. Over the years, Arizona had been really good in deceiving her best friend, but Derek had been the one person who had seen through it all. He was supportive and sympathetic to his friend, but spent a lot of his time trying to convince Arizona to finally tell Callie how she felt. The last thing the Arizona had wanted was to lose her friend or to make things weird between them. But in recent days, however, the blonde had found herself unable to keep it in any longer. She knew she couldn't lie anymore. And tonight was the night she would tell Callie how much she really loved her.
As much as Arizona wished for a shower to rinse away the smell of work, she did not want to risk the chance of being late meeting the others. She used the bathroom at Joe's to change and throw on some light make-up. A spritz of her favorite perfume and five minutes later, she was exiting the front door of the bar and heading to her flat across the street to meet Callie.
She threw her work bag on the floor and slammed the door hurridly behind her. "You still here, Torres?" She called out to the back of her apartment. Her roommate emerged seconds later, putting an earring in. Arizona stopped in her tracks when she saw the brunette. Callie was dressed in a short, tight black dress and was wearing black heels. Arizona gulped to herself as she took in the sight of the woman standing in front of her. Her hair was curled and down. "Calliope, you look wonderful."
The brunette smiled. "You don't look so bad yourself, love." She said, as she put a second earring in. "You almost ready?"
Arizona could only nod and smile. Callie checked the time on her phone. "Good, cause Cristina and Mark will be here any minute." She flipped it closed and tucked it into the small black handbag that she was carrying. She walked to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses. "Let's pregame before we go."
An hour and a half later, Callie and Arizona were in the company of their friends at Bang, a popular downtown Seattle nightclub. Cristina, Reed, and Percy were there as were Lexie and Mark, the latter of which had permanentely moved to Washington to be with Lexie a few months ago.
It had been a good thing for Mark and Lexie when they lived apart from each other and for a bit when Mark had just moved up to Seattle to be with the brunette. But it seemed like it was over before it even started for them. Lexie was focused with her job and since Mark hadn't made it in to the residency program, he wasn't. He had a job and that was enough for him. Mark was handsome, smart, and fun. But as much as Lexie loved him, she knew they couldn't be together. He wasn't ready to settle down, that she was sure of.
Cristina and Callie slammed their shot glasses down on the bar. "Want another, Torres?" Cristina asked.
"Uh, yeah?" She looked behind to her best friend. "You want another shot, Arizona?"
"Ahh, sure." She replied, handing Callie her empty shot glass. "Put this round on me."
The trio licked salt from their hands, downed their shots and slammed their glasses down onto the bar simultaneously. Afterwards, they stuffed lemons in their mouths, sucked and threw them onto the bar as well.
"Wowee, ahh." Cristina yelled. "I love me some tequila!" She winked at the bartender who was walking by. 'Makes me all frisky inside." Callie and Arizona laughed.
"Don't you laugh, blondie." Cristina said with a serious face. "You're my New Years' Eve kiss tonight."
"Well, I-"
"Back off, drunken Yang." Callie said. "No molesting Arizona tonight."
"You always wanna make out with me when you are wasted, Cristina. What's up with that?" Arizona asked.
"Tequila." Cristina replied. "Tequila makes me do these things that you speak of."
"Well, hands off Arizona." Caliie said. "I'm keeping her close to me tonight." She flashed the blonde a teethy smile to which Arizona could only blush. Maybe this won't be as hard as I thought. She said to herself, looking away with a nervous smile.
The girls were joined by Mark, Lexie, Percy and Reed a few minutes before midnight to retrieve their champagne from the bar. The group stood in their own small circle in the middle of the crowded club as they waited for the countdown to begin. Arizona pretty much knew that it was now or never. If she didn't say anything to Callie tonight, she wouldn't be saying anything at all.
"Ten, nine, eight, seven..." They yelled with the rest of the crowd in unison as they held their glasses of champagne in the air.
"Three, two, one..."
"Happy New Year!" everyone screamed together.
Cristina grabbed Arizona and planted a kiss on her. "Happy New Year blondie!" She said before scurrying off to find someone else to plant one on. They all exhanged kisses, most of which were friendly, to bring in the new year. And then, through the crowd, Callie found her best friend. She hugged the blonde and then whispered in her ear, "Happy New Year, Arizona." She pulled away from the hug and placed her lips on Arizona's.
It wasn't a passionate kiss and no tongue swapping took place. It was just a simple, yet full, loving, slow, soft peck on the lips. Arizona returned the kiss, leaning into the brunette to press her lips a bit harder against Callie's. When they parted, Arizona spoke up. "Calliope, I need to tell you something."
Callie smiled. "Sure, what's up?"
But before Arizona could confess her feelings, her words and thoughts became drowned out by people singing Auld Lang Syne which had been playing since the stroke of midnight.
"For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine;
But we've wandered many a weary foot,
since auld lang syne..."
They partied into the night and after a few more rounds of tequila and beers to follow, everyone was on that beloved alcohol-induced high somewhere between tipsy and wasted. And though Arizona had not yet been able to pour herself to Callie, she was certaintly getting what she thought were a lot of green lights from the brunette. The DJ slowed in down a bit for the crowd as a familiar song came through the speakers.
"Oh my God, I love this song!" Callie yelped, grabbing Arizona's hand. She led them to the middle of the dance floor and threw her arm around the blonde and began mouthing the words.
"I see you searchin' for somebody
That'll take you out and do you right (do you right)..."
Callie teasingly nudged Arizona away from her a bit as she bit her bottom lip with a smile. She pulled Arizona back in and used her finger to motion the lyrics.
"Well come here baby and let daddy show you what it feel like (feel like)
You know all you gotta do is tell me what you sippin' on (sippin' on)
And I promise that I'm gonna keep it comin' all night long..."
Arizona breathed in Callie as they danced. Her hair, her perfume, all of her. And the faint smell of tequila on the brunette's breath was strangely arousing. She squeezed the muscles in her stomach to try to get rid of the butterflies that had been there all night.
"Lookin' in your eyes while you walk the other side
And I think that shorty I've got a thing for you
Doin' it on purpose winding and workin' it
I can tell by the way you lookin' at me girl
I wanna make love in this club. ayy
I wanna make love in this club, ayy
in this club ayy, in this club ayy, in this club ayy..."
Deciding to play along with Callie's tease dance, Arizona took the lead. She grabbed Callie's hips and slowed them down. She placed her lips inches from the brunette's and began to sing.
"You got some friends rollin' with you baby then that's cool
You can leave them with my peeps, let em know that I got you
If you didn't know, you're the only thing that's on my mind
Cause the way I'm staring miss you got me wantin to give it to you all night
Lookin' in your eyes while you walk the other side
I can't take it no more
Baby I'm comin' for you
You keep doin' it on purpose winding and working it
If we close our eyes it could be just me and you..."
They closed their eyes and danced. Callie's skirted legs hugged Arizona's thighs, clad in dark blue skinny jeans. The blonde had worn heels to be level with her friend for this particular reason. Dancing. They swayed, grinded, and whatever else they could legally do on a public dance floor.
As the song continued, Arizona thought to herself, Best New Years' Eve ever. When she opened her eyes, she saw two brown orbs that had already been staring at her. Arizona saw something in her eyes. Realization. She knew.
"Calli-" Arizona whispered.
"Shhssh." Callie said with a soft, unsure smile and looked down to Arizona's lips.
"Might as well give me a kiss
If we keep touching like this
I know you scared, baby
They don't know what we doin'
Let's both get undressed right here
Keep it up girl and I swear
I'ma give it to you non-stop
And I don't care who's watchin'..."
Just as Arizona did the same, a loud, annoyingly drunk voice brought the girls from the trance they had been in. "Get a room, geez!" Cristina yelped. "I brought you guys shots."
"Yeah, I think I need one." Callie said, taking the glass from her friend.
Arizona followed. "Oh, me too. Let's go get more."
"Yay!" Cristina screamed with joy. "Drunk bitches! Tequila! Wooo!"
Something indeed had been napped inside of Callie with that dance and it was in her mind for the rest of the night. Much to her surprise, nothing was weird or strange about it. Still, she was too drunk to comprehend anything that was going on in her head and decided not to say anything to anyone about it, including Arizona. They were best friends and they talked about everything. And they would talk about this tomorrow. But what was this? Callie thought to herself. Nothing even happened - just a warm, funny feeling and the urge to kiss her friend. Girls do that. All. the. time. No biggie. More tequila. Need more alcohol now. Callie, stop thinking so much.
The group closed the club and made their way back to Arizona's house by 3:30 a.m. They opened more alcohol and crammed the balcony outside, making resolutions, toasts, and memories. Nothing was weird and all was fun.
Percy and Reed left around five in the morning, citing premature hangovers. Cristina had long since passed out hugging the toilet in the spare bathroom. Sensing Mark and Lexie needing some time alone, Arizona excused herself inside to take a much-needed shower. She used the time alone to think about what she was going to say to Callie. Arizona was drunk and the truth comes out when you are drunk. But so does a lot of jibberish. In any case, she was going to talk to Callie. That, she was sure of. Right now.
Arizona clothed, dried her hair, and threw her clothes in the washer. She moved Cristina to the couch before making her way to Callie's room. As she knocked slightly, the door opened just wide enough to see Mark on top of her best friend, moving in rhythm with music that was coming from the radio beside them. Arizona's stomach dropped in a pain she never knew existed in this world. She slowly shut the door and walked away.
"It gets harder everyday, but I can't seem to shake the pain.
I'm trying to find the words to say, please stay.
It's written all over my face.
I can't function the same when you're not here.
Calling your name when no one's there.
And I hope one day you'll see nobody has it easy.
I still can't believe you've found somebody new.
But I wish you the best, I guess."
She was angry. She was hurt. She was, jealous. Arizona knew she didn't need it, but she grabbed a bottle of wine from the fridge, uncorked it, and went outside on the balcony to sort through her throughts and her heart for something.
"Cause everybody knows, that nobody really knows.
How to make it work, or how to ease the hurt.
We've heard it all before, that everybody knows just how to make it right.
I wish we gave it one more try.
One more try,
one more try,
one more try,
'Cause everybody knows, nobody really knows..."
As she stared out into the city, she let her mind wander and when all of the wandering was done, she began to cry. She was wiping the third round of tears from her eyes when he noticed she wasn't alone.
"I-, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to see you. But you just came out here so quick and you were upset and I didn't want to interrupt your crying, because crying, it's good. Except you don't look good, but I didn't mean it like that. I-, I'll go."
Arizona could see that the other girl was sincere. "Lexie, it's okay." The blonde managed a smile. "I'm so drunk I don't care at this point."
The sat in silence for a moment before tears came to Arizona's eyes again. Lexie spoke up. "Are you okay?"
Arizona looked down into her lap and nodded. "Tonight just didn't go the way I planned I guess."
"It was all fun until we came back here."
"Yeah."
"Oh my God." Lexie breathed in. "You love her, don't you?"
When Arizona didn't reply, Lexie spoke up again, this time with tears in her eyes as well. "And I love him." She cleared her throat. "You know, he's a decent guy. He wouldn't have done that if he knew how you felt. He's just-"
Arizona stood up and gave Lexie her bottle of wine. "You finish this, looks like you need it too."
"You heading to bed?"
The blonde stuffer her hands in her pockets. "No, I need to go to the bar to clean up." She laughed sarcastically. "My deed for begging for the night off to spend it with Callie is that I get to clean up."
"Well, I'll come with you. I'll help."
"No, it's okay, you don't have to."
"I want to. That, and Mark is my ride and I don't want to be here alone."
"I don't care what people say, they brought it all in anyway.
Baby don't fill up your head with he-said, she-said.
It seems like you just don't know. (don't know)
The radio's on, you're tuning me out.
I'm trying to speak, you're turning me down.
And I know one day you'll see nobody has it easy.
I still can't believe you've found somebody new.
But I wish you the best, I guess..."
Arizona walked into the bar with nothing to clean. She found a note in the back office taped to a bottle of champange.
Arizona,
I couldn't make you clean everything, I just didn't have the heart. So, Meredith and I took care of it after Joe left. I did leave you the bar to stock, only because Joe can always tell when I do it because I suck and am messy. Anyway, I hope tonight went well and that you had a happy New Year. You deserve it.
Love,
Derek
Arizona smiled at the gesture from her friend, but it only made things worse for some reason. She and Lexie went up front, stocked the cooler, and took a seat at the bar.
"And I know one day you'll see nobody has it easy.
I still can't believe you've found somebody new.
But I wish you the best, I guess..."
Lexie held her as she finally let out the sobbing tears she had been fighting. Arizona cried until there was nothing left in her and together, they watched through the windows of the bar as the sun began torise above Seattle. To think that just four hours ago, she has been feeling the exact opposite of what she was now. Worst New Years' ever.