Five days after my birthday, it's Saturday, the day I take my weekly trip. I get up slowly, like I do every single day and slowly eat my breakfast of cold cereal, like I do every morning. The house is so quiet, so barren, so empty, it just makes me sad. I hate these times most of all, when I feel like there's nothing in my life…like there's nothing left to live for. I just stare out my window and sigh and watch the world outside my window. I grab a small fold up chair and sling it across my back and walk outside. I have to hike a couple miles to reach the small hangar where I rent my ship out of. I make good time and reach the hangar without even breaking a sweat. At least I'm in shape I say to myself.
The security guard, Paul, is there. I don't even have to show my ID to him, I've been here so many times he knows me. He shakes his head as the electric gate opens.
"Hope, where do you go with the spaceship? You've been renting it for years now and not once have you told me where or why you rent the ship," he asks as the gate opens.
"That's not for you to know," I say to Paul as I walk into the hangar. I don't tell him where I'm going because I'm embarrassed by it.
Inside the hangar are a few big ships and several small ones. I walk up to a small green one with a stripe on it. I waive my id in front of it and the ramp comes down. I walk on slowly, mechanically, without thought, as I have done at least a hundred times.
The journey takes only half an hour, as it did the last time, and the time before that, and the time before that. I slowly land it into the small clearing I made, and walk through the tiny tunnel I made by hand and stop when I reach the main chamber. I set down my plastic chair and sit down and take in the peace.
"Hey Vanille," I say.
I made the landing a while ago. It wasn't that hard, all it took was a few good blasts from the ships lasers. The tunnel was harder, I couldn't risk breaking Vanille or Fang, and didn't know how far done they were, so I had to take my time with small bursts of magic fire. Ha, my magic is about the only thing I have left now.
People say that you don't know what you have until you lose it, and I couldn't agree with them more. I never got to say goodbye to Vanille, I never got to tell her how much she meant to me, how much I loved her. Yeah, I love her; I love her more than life itself. I remember how she saw a complete stranger and made it her mission to cheer him up. I remember how she wouldn't stop until I had closure with Snow. I remember how in Gran Pulse, when my brand jumped forward, she stayed at my side.
I came to her and Fang to pay my respects, and to honor their sacrifice. At least, that's what I originally came for. Now I think I just come to cry and to talk to Vanille. I know you may think it's weird to talk to a crystal statue, but it really has been the only thing that's kept me going.
I know she's still alive, just like Snow was sure that Serah was. I know she's in there, waiting to wake up again. I know she can hear me, I just know it. It's something I can feel in my bones. Even though nothing has changed since the first time I came here I know that one day, her eyes will open again. I only wish there was something I could do, like she did for me.
I'm deep in thought when I feel the chair go out from under me. I hit my head hard against the crystal and slowly get up and see that the chair has broken. I don't know if the hit knocked something into place, but suddenly everything is clear. I have to be the change I want to see in my life. My life suddenly has purpose and everything seems so bright and full of life. I know what I have to do now…
I have to wake up Vanille.
I know you think my chapters are short, but size don't matter. ITS NOT THE SIZE OF THE WAVES BUT THE MOTION OF THE OCEAN!