Edited (07/10/14)

My memories are inside me - they're not things or a place - I can take them anywhere.

Olivia Newton-John

"It's nothing mom." I knew it wouldn't help me much, but I had to try. If the world was done fucking up my life, I might be able to work my way out of this without too much damage. I wanted to tell her and dad, but this was not how I wanted it to happen.

The look on her face told me she didn't believe me, that was probably a result of claiming it was nothing. "Tell me the truth, Danny." I looked away from Sam just long enough to see her eyes were full of concern before I averted my eyes again; it almost broke me, but I kept clinging on. She was bound to find out eventually, but I was going to put it off as long as possible.

"I can't tell you, not right now." My eyes didn't leave Sam. If she were here, she would know how to get me out of this. She'd probably smack me upside the head for letting it slip so easily, but she'd help me get out of this. She's always been there for me, she's always been by my side for as long as I can remember. It's amazing how fast I can feel myself falling apart now that she's out of the picture for the moment.

It takes me a moment to recognize the room I'm in as a new scene unfolds. I'm in third grade now. Danny is in my class again, but he sits on the other side of the room. I sit next to a kid named Tucker, and while I'm not too fond of his bright red hat, I slowly become friends with him. Before long, I notice his obsession with his games; even though we aren't even supposed to have games at school, he still seems to always have them tucked away in his pocket or he's playing them in class when our teacher isn't looking.

After a few weeks, I'm passing notes back and forth with Tucker. I'm surprised Tucker hasn't gotten caught reading his notes yet, he always reads them in full view of our strict teacher instead of under his desk like I've told him to several times. I keep hoping he'll learn, but he never does.

Then there was the incident with that idiot Ricky Marsh. He'd puked during lunch and it got all in my lunchbox! It was okay though, I kicked him off the monkey bars later in retaliation. The poor boy looked confused when I told him why and just pointed over in the direction of Danny and Tucker. They were standing off to the side and I could have sworn I saw Tucker giving Danny a pleading look, why I doubt I will ever know.

Every class gets a party on the last day before winter break sponsored by the PTA. This year, our class has juice boxes and sugar cookies we can decorate. When the icing comes out, Danny is the first one to it and he piles his cookie high with the white icing. I don't know how anyone can eat that much pure sugar, much less actually keep it down, but Danny eats is, all four inches high.

"If you puke on me on the bus because of that, I will smack you!" I'm not convinced he'll be able to keep it down during the bumpy bus ride home.

"Why would I puke on you when I can easily aim at Jazz?" He smirks and I just shake my head at him, trying not to laugh at him. I don't want to encourage the behavior...as funny as it would be.

"Because you know Jazz won't put up with it either." I stick my tongue out at him as he goes to finish his juice box as a set of pre-decorated cookies is passed around to all of us before I feel myself being pulled away from the memory again.

I am caught in a rare moment of peace as the image fades away once more and I'm disappointed with myself that I don't remember more from our first two years together. What I'd give to hear his voice again for real, not just in my memories. I don't know what's happening to my body, but within the confines of my mind, I'm reliving the time I spent with Danny, starting from when we were little kids.

I guess you could say I'm falling in love with him all over again.

It's shorter than I would like...sorry about that. Honestly, it's not because I'm too lazy to write more though, it's because I'm mostly working off my own memories and I can't seem to remember much from back then... The next chapters will be longer though! :)

Comments and feedback are as welcome as always! :D

Invisible One