Part 2 – "Sparks Fly"
Jeremy's heart was pounding so hard he thought it would explode. How convenient, he wondered, that would be for a house of vampires. He knew Stefan, Damon and Elena would never, but, blood is blood. Jeremy thought about Vicki, Anna, Bonnie, and the countless other girls he found himself attracted to in the past. Stefan was the first guy. In stricter terms, Stefan wasn't even a guy. He was a vampire. Not only was Stefan the first male Jeremy made out with - or was attracted to, for that matter - he was the first vampire. On top of that, Stefan used to love Elena. Elena was in the next room.
Jeremy pulled away from Stefan, a little more forcefully than he had intended. He saw both shock and hurt on Stefan's face. His eyes pierced deeply, searching. Jeremy expected something of an apology, but was surprised at Stefan's curious question.
"Is this not what you want?" Stefan asked, one hand touching Jeremy's shoulder, while the other was bracing against the counter next to him. Jeremy knew why this was wrong. He just didn't want it to be this way.
"Elena," Jeremy spoke, rather inelegantly. "They're in the next room. What if they, what if they see us?"
"Then, they'll see us," Stefan said nonchalantly. "As I said, people fall in and out of love all the time. It's just-"
"Wait, hold on," Jeremy said, suddenly processing what Stefan had said. "Did you just say love? Do you, love me?" Jeremy paused, gazing at Stefan, almost too afraid to hear the answer. His yearning for Stefan had surprised him. Yet, as the months went by, it grew stronger and harder to bury.
Stefan stepped forward and, when Jeremy remained still, he placed the hand from the shoulder on Jeremy's right cheek. He slid the thumb over Jeremy's bottom lip, still swollen red from the passionate kisses. Stefan's intent eyes focused on Jeremy's lower lip, before ascending to his eyes. They questioned what was happening, and what was occurring inside Stefan's mind. Stefan didn't smile, but rather leaned forward and kissed Jeremy again. This time was not as long as the first. He then pulled back and gazed into Jeremy's confused eyes.
"Love is tricky, Jer," Stefan began, "I've lived a long time. I've seen so much. I've lived through so much. I've loved many." He paused as if for dramatic effect. "You're the first man I've loved. If it scares you, don't worry. It scares me, too."
"It does scare me," Jeremy said, feeling like a weight was lifted off his chest. "I've never been attracted to guys before. This feels so weird to me. But, I know I want it. You, I mean, I know I want you." He searched Stefan's eyes, his face, but recognized no insult, no sadness; he saw only serenity.
"Then you can only imagine how I feel," Stefan said, smiling. "I can't say I've never been attracted to men. There've been some I've found alluring. And then some..." Stefan trailed off and gave Jeremy a worldly look. Jeremy took it to mean that, though Stefan had never loved a man before, he may have slept with one, or two.
"Have you been with another man?" Jeremy asked, both afraid and intrigued by Stefan's possible answer.
"Yes," Stefan said, looking straight into Jeremy's eyes. "I've been with three."
"Three?"
"As a vampire," Stefan continued, now leaning back against the kitchen island, "You lose some, even most, of your inhibitions, your hang-ups, your values. I'm not saying it's wrong to love or be with another man. Just imagine, for a second, where I came from and what life I was leading. I wasn't an entirely religious man, but I was honest and faithful to both myself and my beliefs. Homosexuality was like some kind of built-in evil in my life, probably due to my father, the town. It was the 1800s, after all. But, after turning, I lost all that. I became freer; uninhibited. I think I became a truer version of myself. Don't think I'm promoting vampirism, either. I'm just saying that, after 160 years, I no longer follow what society says. I just follow my heart and my head. In that order."
Jeremy couldn't get over Stefan's bold-faced honesty. It was actually refreshing, compared to his usual brooding self. That was something they seemed to have in common. He knew it wasn't entirely healthy to always be introspective. Jeremy just never found anyone to truly let in. Not Bonnie, Alaric, Elena, or any of the others. Was Stefan the one to let in? Could he let go with him?
"I've never heard anyone speak like that." Jeremy said, approaching slowly. He moved away from the counter and leaned next to Stefan. Now, side by side, he felt closer, somehow safer. "Elena always treats me like the kid brother. Damon, Alaric, and everyone else treat me like I'm something breakable." Jeremy sighed and turned to look at Stefan. "By telling me this, you're the first to see me as an adult."
At that, Stefan leaned in and kissed Jeremy. Not on the lips this time, but on the cheek. He then wrapped his arm around Jeremy's shoulder and pulled him closer.
"Why so ready to be an adult, Jeremy?" Stefan asked, almost wistfully. "There are days when I wish I was your age. Days, even, when I wish I was human again. But you can't wish forever."
"Unless you're a vampire," Jeremy said smiling, looking up at Stefan.
"Unless you're a vampire," Stefan, a slight smirk spread across his face. He looked over at Jeremy and sighed. "I know you've said it many times to girls you've loved, but has anyone told you how beautiful you are?"