Disclaimer: Teen Titans is the property of DC Comics and Warner Bros. "The Hollow Men" was written by T.S. Elliot, and the use of passages to open each chapter is done with the utmost respect for one of the English languages best craftsmen. Thank you, and enjoy.
Titans Broken
Chapter 9: Wandering Thoughts
The eyes are not here
There are no eyes here
In this valley of dying stars
In this hollow valley
This broken jaw of our lost kingdoms
- T.S. Elliot's "The Hollow Men"
Rachel Roth sat between the two tables that held her best friends. Her cowl was pulled down low over her face as she closed her eyes, concentrating on the two of them, their emotions, and feelings. It was tiring work, but the continual use of meditation kept exhaustion and fatigue at bay.
She felt a small hand rubbing circles on her shoulder and swallowed. Garfield was there, he hadn't really moved from her side throughout the process, and now it had been nearly twenty hours since the simulation had begun. Eight more than Batman had said he anticipated.
The League's leaders had slowly left them alone to the work and simulation, with Batman leaving only moments before to head down to Gotham and finish some work. He'd be back, and probably monitoring them remotely but the absence of his dark presence seemed to make the room brighter.
Cyborg typed at one of the consoles, wires trailing from his systems linking to the computers and power supply of the Watchtower. After a few minutes he stopped and glanced up at them and sighed. "I've been going through the scenario... and well, after realizing this was a Dark Knight special... I got to say this is probably going to drag out a lot longer then he thought it would."
The door to the room hissed open and Black Canary led Barbara Gordon inside and guided her to one of the consoles. J'onn glanced up at them and sighed before looking at Cyborg. "How long?"
"I'm not sure... I think its already deviated quite a bit from what he intended. It looks like it's designed to throw a series of escalating challenges at them... but they're calibrated to be something that would tax Starfire and Dick alone... he didn't intend for the rest of us to be involved." Cyborg said. "Considering the way the escalations are supposed to layer... I'd guess the computer will start making efforts to... strip away the support they've been getting."
"Okay..." Raven said. "So, it'll kill us."
Garfield straightened and Cyborg swallowed nervously. Suddenly Barbara growled. "Is he trying to break Dick?"
Black Canary sighed. "No... But you know how he thinks Barbara. It's always about the independent and stoic hero in his mind. He's not a team player or leader, not like Dick is anyway."
She nodded slowly and wiped away a tear. "Dick's not stupid though... he's going to look for help, organize and assemble a team to counter the Citadelians."
"He knows he doesn't stand a chance by himself and Star... well, she'll follow him." Cyborg sighed. "And she's dragging along Rae. That means BB and I will be out following him too."
"What?" Barbara asked suddenly. "What I miss?"
"Dick... decided to go for a walk." Raven said with a sigh. "Starfire has got the rest of the Titans searching for him."
Dick sighed and kicked a hunk of concrete. He watched it bounce across the ground before bouncing against a brick wall and clattering to the ground. He shuddered as the distinct smell of burnt flesh blew down the alley. Embers drifted down from the sky and in the distance he could see the setting sun, a blood red orb descending toward darkness.
He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall. His head throbbed and muscles ached, his endurance had already been stretched far beyond what he ever anticipated. After a moment he stumbled from the wall and staggered onward, his blue eyes watching papers blow across the street.
Overhead a rumble drew his gaze and he saw a massive ship slowly cruising maybe a half mile up. Citadelian fighters surrounded it, their engines made a screeching sound as they flew past. Huge scanners swept the ground like search lights from the bottom of the vessel.
Dick slipped deeper into the cover of the alley and closed his eyes. The whisper of voices brought his attention down a side-street and he froze.
A squad of aliens clad in gleaming ceramic armor was wandering down the street. Each looked to be roughly the size and shape of a human, but had blue skin and gleaming white eyes. Some of them had flat noses that looked almost porcine in appearance, and a few of their number had small tusks peeking out from their mouths. Dick dove behind the cover of a dumpster and swallowed as they swept the area with weapons clasped in their hands.
Okaarans... Dick thought to himself and swore under his breath. Clearly the Citadelians had enlisted their vassals for this strike. If there were Okaarans then there could be others... Branx perhaps? He had already seen signs that Gordanians were amongst the foes arranged against them... he'd seen their ships in orbit.
"Shit." He growled.
Suddenly one of the group froze and Dick saw that he had a red cape thrown over his armor. He pointed to two of the group and then toward his dumpster. Dick swallowed.
Not good, these are the people that trained Star... at least they're not as strong as she is... I hope. He crouched down and readied himself as the first soldier stepped around the dumpster.
Dick leapt upward, catching him with a snap kick to the chin that tossed him against the wall. The Okaaran soldier dropped to the ground with a clatter and his comrade lifted a weapon to his shoulder.
Dick rolled out of line just as a bolt of plasma spat from the rifle and lashed out with a fist that caught the Okaaran in the stomach. With a groan he stumbled back before Dick followed it up with a punch to the face that knocked him out.
The other Okaarans lifted their weapons and a ragged volley of energy blasts shot toward Dick as he dove back behind cover. The disgusting smell of burning trash filled the air as shot after shot burned through one side of the dumpster and into it's contents.
Dick growled before tearing a phosphorous bomb from his belt and tearing out the key. After a three count he lobbed it in a high arc. The grenade exploded over the squad, dropping burning embers all over them. As Dick leaned out he saw their leader tear off his red cloak and stomp on it in an attempt to put out the flames from the bomb.
Dick drew his eskrima sticks and charged. The Okaaran troops, distracted by the burns from the phosphorous were suddenly beset by the acrobat, and his eskrima sticks smashed into them, dropping them easily despite their armor. Within seconds, the whole squad was on the ground, knocked out.
He gasped for breath and glanced around the remains. Slowly he picked up one of the rifles and fumbled with it for a moment before pointing it toward the disabled foes. His hands shook as he lifted it toward the soldiers.
I can't let them go... I have to... I...
"Richard!" A voice shouted and Dick dropped the rifle in surprise.
Starfire swallowed as she stumbled down the dark alleyway, tears rose in her eyes and her jaw trembled. Beside her Raven was glancing around nervously.
"Starfire..." She grumbled as the alien scrambled between pieces of cover. "Can't you fly?"
She stopped and glanced at Raven, glowing green eyes blinking at her in confusion. "I... I have not attempted to since the... change in my powers." She swallowed nervously. "You... you said you knew how I summoned my starbolts... What about flight?"
Raven chewed her lip. "You told me your flight was powered by your sense of freedom... joy and so forth."
Starfire deflated. "I... I do not think I will be able to fly then, there is no joy here."
A blast of plasma fire drew her attention and she scrambled down a side alley. Raven followed her as she slipped between dumpsters and trash bins, dove around fallen limbs and steel beams.
The firing stopped and she skidded to a stop in confusion. She narrowed her eyes, trying desperately to see despite the dim light. Then she caught sight of Nightwing, an alien rifle clasped in his hands. Around him, she could see an entire squad of Okaaran soldiers, knocked unconscious. He fumbled with the weapon and Starfire froze as she saw him lift it toward one of the soldiers.
No... Some part of her mind gasped at the sight of him readying to kill them. Her heart froze for a moment and she ran toward him. "Richard!"
Richard... who was Richard? Her mind asked as Dick dropped the rifle in surprise. She ran and threw her arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. He gasped in pain before she let go and stepped back...
"We found you..." She said and felt joy begin to bubble in her stomaches. Dick stared at her in surprise. "What were you thinking?"
"Umm... I..."
"It is a war zone. You should not go anywhere alone." Starfire said quickly. "I... I was so worried you would go and get yourself killed and... and..." She suddenly sobbed and tried to wipe away her tears. "It, it does not matter, you are amongst the living."
Dick seemed to deflate as Raven stumbled to a stop behind Starfire. "Star... I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking and I thought if I cleared my head..."
"You are a stupid rutha human..." Starfire mumbled still wiping away tears. "Please, you made me... me... I felt such worry." She said. "If you died, then... then nothing would have offset the Z'hom, I would not heal..."
Dick swallowed. "Star..."
"I do not wish to be that way again." She said firmly.
Raven's gravelly voice shattered their reunion. "Dick... what were you doing?"
"I... I stumbled across them, and... I... we can't take prisoners can we? And..." Dick closed his eyes and swallowed.
"They might just be Citadellian vassals but... they'll still steal people for them and..."
Starfire's expression hardened. "You... you were trying to work yourself up to... execute them?"
Dick closed his eyes. "I am not proud of it... It's just necessary, they'll wake up in a bit and go back to serving the Citadel and..."
"It's one thing to kill in the heat of battle... I couldn't just, execute them either." Raven said quietly. "I don't know anyone who-" Her voice stumbled to a stop as Starfire picked up the rifle and dusted off the grime. She hit two buttons on the controls and lifted it toward the nearest Okaaran.
A blinding blue-white flash lit the alleyway and the first of the soldiers was vaporized by a bolt. Starfire spun on her heel, shooting each of the disabled foes once before tossing the weapon aside.
Dick gaped at her. "Star..."
She shut her eyes and swallowed. "As you said, it was necessary."
The clatter of booted feet echoed down the alley and Cyborg and Beast Boy came to a stop behind Raven. Starfire swallowed again as her old friends stared at her. "Please... I..."
"Star?" Cyborg asked and the Tamaranian princess stepped past him.
"I am not proud of it either..." She said quietly. "It was necessary."
"Star..." She stiffened as Cyborg hugged her from behind.
Starfire turned toward him, her eyes wide in surprise. "You... you are not angry?"
Cyborg shook his head and tightened his grip. "No... Are you mad Dick?"
"No..." Dick said quietly. "I was just about to do it myself..."
Raven sighed. "It had to be done..."
Beast Boy nodded slowly, but Star got the sense he was disturbed by what had happened, by what he'd seen.
Cyborg slowly let go and stepped back. "It'll be okay girl. We know you're not normally like that." He wiped away a tear and smiled faintly. "Dick knows, we'll have to compromise some of our principals if we're to survive this."
Dick nodded and stepped up to Starfire. "You remember what I told you earlier?"
She nodded. "Yes..."
"Thank you for doing what I can't." He said before wrapping her in a hug of his own. Starfire stiffened in surprise and felt tears burst from her eyes before she buried her head in his shoulder and sobbed.
"I... I... they were not even Citadelians..." She cried. "I trained with people like them in my youth and now... now... I killed them while they lay defenseless. It is not honorable... It is not right…" She shuddered. "I... I feel disgusted with myself."
"Shh..." Dick said quietly. "It had to be done, you know that." He assured her.
"It does not make it easier." She said quietly.
Dick nodded. "I know. The fact that it's getting harder for you is a good sign though." He said quietly.
Star stared at him. "What?"
"It means you are regaining your feelings... if your Z'hom was still in full force, would you have cared?" Raven asked.
"Oh... You are correct, I would not." She swallowed nervously. "Dick... I have a question."
"Yeah?" Dick asked.
"What does the name Richard signify? I have called you it twice and cannot remember why." She asked.
Dick blinked and then smiled faintly. "Star... Richard is my real name, my first name... Dick's my nickname."
"So many names..." Star said quietly.
"You have quite a few yourself." He joked quietly. "Kori Anders, Starfire, Star..."
"I understand..." Starfire said quietly. "Which would you prefer?"
"Dick is fine Star... Most people don't call me Richard, so it'll get my attention if you do say it though." He smiled faintly. "Now... where's Wally?"
"You called?" A voice came from above them and Dick glanced over his shoulder to see Wally sitting atop an I-beam that had fallen over the Alley.
Dick rolled his eyes. "How long have you been sitting there waiting for me to ask that?"
"Oh... not long." Wally said. "Awaiting orders, boss!"
Dick sighed. "You up for a quick run around the block... see if Supes and Luthor really are working together?"
"Oh sure... give me an hour or two and I'll have a complete report for you. Meet you back at the military camp then?" Wally said.
"Sure... take care of yourself." Dick said before Wally disappeared in a blur.
Dick followed them from the alley and let out a tired sigh. He needed to rest. Raven took the point position along with Garfield who had morphed into a green furred terrier and was scrambling between bits of cover.
"Star..." He said quietly as Koriand'r leaned against him, her eyes dimmed with exhaustion. Dick staggered a bit as she set her chin on his shoulder and sighed. "Star..."
"I am sorry... I am tired." She said quietly.
"How are you doing for energy reserves?" Rachel asked as she shifted a pile of debris out of their way with a wave of her hand.
"I have not used much since... since having to relearn my powers of control." She said as she lifted her head from atop Dick's shoulder. "I have sufficient energy for the night before I must recharge." She said quietly.
"Alright... I was worried." Raven said as she led them onto one of the main streets and glanced around the area.
Cyborg lifted his wrist up and activated a scanner. "Nothing for fifty meters in any direction but us."
"Good..." Dick said tiredly before stumbling under Starfire's weight. "Star... I'm too tired to carry you."
"I am sorry." She said before taking a deep breath and pulling in his scent. The musky masculine odor calmed her muscles and cleared the fog from her mind. Then she leaned away from him.
Starfire let out a sigh and slight wistful smile played across her lips for a moment before she felt Raven's gaze on her and she blushed faintly. Raven slowly shook her head and a half-smile played across her face before she turned back down the street.
He still has such a strong power over me. She thought and her stomachs tightened nervously. If he falls... The thought itself was enough to bring tears to her eyes and fear spiked through her nerves. She was scared, terrified of the thought of falling back into the throws of Z'hom.
Never... I will never go back to that existence... it was not a life worth living. She thought. If he is to pass, I shall follow... I will not be broken again.
"Star..." Raven said quietly and she stumbled at the interruption of her thoughts. "Are you alright?"
"Yes... I have merely been thinking." She said before quickly wiping away her tears and straightening up. "I have cried so much... and have not always understood why."
Raven nodded. "It's hard, isn't it?"
She nodded and took a deep breath. "I have been thinking of what I shall do if... if the worst befalls him."
Raven turned to her and nodded as the green terrier scrambled between cars up ahead. "I see..."
"You have one of your own to consider, do you not?" Starfire asked quietly and Raven's lips twitched hinting at a smile. "What would you do if..."
"I won't let it happen." Raven said coolly.
"Dick will not consider the possibility of his survival." Starfire said quietly. "You heard him as well, did you not?"
Raven swallowed and nodded. "He is being an idiot... a pessimistic idiot."
"If he is correct?" Starfire asked quietly.
Raven scowled for a long moment before taking a deep breath. "Listen Starfire... I will defend each of you until I take my last breath... as will Cyborg, as will Beast Boy... only you and Dick are hung up on the possibility of dying."
Starfire swallowed. "But... you do not think it possible?"
"Oh it's possible, it's likely even that none of us will survive, but I'm not going to think about it... my emotions are hard enough to control just from seeing what's happened. If any of you fell..." She stopped and took a deep breath. "Or Garfield..." She shut her eyes and chewed her lip, and Starfire saw a tear roll down from her eye. Behind them a car window shattered and her voice dropped to a whisper. "If... if... Garfield. I don't know what I'd do."
"Friend Raven..." Starfire said quietly.
Raven took a deep breath. "I'll do everything I can to stop that from happening."
"He would as well, I believe." Starfire said quietly. "But... I know what shall happen if Dick falls, and I cannot live with becoming such a... a worthless shell again."
Raven's gaze shot to her green eyes. "You..."
"I will have no hope of recovery..." Starfire said quietly.
Raven shut her mouth and nodded once. "It won't come to that."
"I hope you are correct, friend Raven." Starfire said quietly.
Suddenly a flash blazed overhead and the group of heroes turned their gaze skyward just as a pillar of purple energy lanced down from a distant point of an orbiting ship.
A second later the shockwave washed over them. Dick stared toward the point where a huge fireball was rising into the sky and the familiar apartment complex they had been heading toward crumbled to the ground.
"Orbital bombardment..." Cyborg said in awe as the mushroom cloud rose over where the military troops had made their encampment.
"Raven..." Dick croaked. "Can you..."
She nodded and flew into the air, enveloped in dark energy. A moment later she returned and shook her head. "There... there's nothing left but a crater." She said. "They're gone..."
Dick swore and kicked a car door. "We've got to keep moving, find someplace to hole up for the night..." He blinked and took a deep breath. "We make for the Gotham River..."
"How far is that?" Raven asked quietly.
Cyborg swallowed. "About two miles from where we are right now... about an hour's travel, maybe an hour and half..."
Dick nodded. "We need a place to rest, and I know plenty of places there where we can hold up."
"Secure places?" Cyborg asked.
Dick smiled. "The securest."
Starfire glanced at him, nervously. "What do you mean?" She asked as Dick took point and led them through the maze of wrecked cars and shattered homes.
"If I had to guess... we're heading for Bat's place." Cyborg said quietly.
In the distance Starfire could see a highway bridge. Flashes of light from gunfire and explosions lit up the night sky, flashing against clouds that had begun to move in from the west. Then, as the exhausted group pushed onward toward the water, rain began to fall, and Starfire closed her eyes as the water began to soak into her hair. She couldn't tell if it was a cold rain, as her species' tolerance of extreme temperatures came at the cost of being able to feel temperature as humans could.
Raven tightened her cowl around her face and scowled as the rain drops splattered against her hood. Garfield shook himself trying to keep dry as Dick pushed onward, ignoring the rain.
Then a roar echoed overhead and everyone dove for cover as a ship slowly flew overhead, mere meters above the rooftops. Starfire felt her hair being blown about as the jet-wash blew across them. The rain pelted against her bare skin and she blinked the water out of her eyes. Then a light blazed from the bottom of the ship, and swept across them.
Anger flared through her and she ignited a starbolt with a snarl. Then she hurled it into one of the ship's engines. With a boom the drive exploded, sending bits of metal and debris in all directions. It spun through the air and smoke billowed from the impact. They watched nervously as it crashed into one of the brick apartment buildings.
"Nice Star." Dick said as he glanced over at her and smiled. "Pity they know where we are now let's move!"
Dick led them through the streets, moving faster and faster. He didn't slow for six blocks. When he finally did the others were breathing hard and Cyborg tapped his gauntlet. "Dick... I'm down to thirty percent. We're going to need to find a power supply soon."
"Shit... we're almost there Cyborg." Dick said quickly. "We're almost there."
Starfire swallowed. "Richard... Where are we going?"
"Batman has a network of tunnels and safe-houses throughout Gotham, there should be an entrance near Vincefinkel Bridge." He said quickly. "Around the cloverleaf."
"Oh..." Starfire said as she followed him down an alley. They had gone maybe another half mile when an elevated highway cut across their view. Beyond the highway a river spread out into the distance and she could see a few scattered lights from the tallest towers of Gotham blinking in the darkness. A Citadelian starship sat smoldering in the middle of the river. Its hull was pockmarked and burned from missile strikes. From Gotham there were flashes of energy weapons fire and bursts of flames marked sites of fighting.
Dick stared, his eyes wide. "God... it doesn't look good."
A black shape cut across the grey sky and Starfire squinted as a missile shot from it, streaked through the air and smashed into a Citadelian fighter. She watched its drives flicker and die before it spun down toward the City and disappeared in a fireball.
"Yeah!" Cyborg yelled and then nodded toward the black plane. "It looks like Bats is still alive and fighting."
"No surprise there." Dick said as he glanced around the area. "Alright, we need to go north from here..." He pointed toward the closest bridge. "The tunnel entrance is there."
Starfire nodded. "Will... will Batman welcome us?"
"Doesn't matter." Dick growled. "I won't let him turn us away... even if I have to fight him myself." He snapped. "Plus, the current security on the cave is something I tweaked myself when I had to wear the damn cowl."
"Wait... you were Bats for awhile?" Garfield said as he morphed back into his human form. "Cool!"
"No... It sucked." Dick grumbled to himself as he led them toward the back of the bridge approach. There he came to a stop before a rather battered looking steel door. He tapped a brick and a false cinderblock retracted to reveal a scanner. He pushed his hand onto the palm reader after pulling off his glove and leaned to the iris scanner.
Starfire watched green light sweep over him for a second before a clack from the door indicated it had unlocked.
A low rumble rolled over them and Starfire looked up as a gargantuan vessel descended through the clouds and headed to the west. Other ships flew around it, dwarfed by its massive form.
"It is a troop ship, Dick..." Starfire said. "They are landing a force to take the population of Gotham."
"Almost three million people... how many Star, how many can be in a ship like that?" Dick asked.
Starfire swallowed. "It... it is a vast number." She stammered. "I..."
"How many?" Dick snapped.
"A hundred thousand, perhaps more..." Starfire said quietly. "It also possesses cloning facilities to replace losses."
Cyborg swore and Beast Boy seemed to wilt. Raven's expression grew hard and she growled under her breath. "A hundred thousand..."
Dick nodded once and tore the door open, anger flooding his movements. A moment later the door slammed shut behind them. Starfire sighed as the lights flickered on and Raven stepped beside her.
"No wonder you're expecting us to lose..." Raven growled. "How many ships like that do they have?"
"I do not know... but they are attempting to enslave a world of seven billion Raven... they will have brought millions of soldiers to accomplish such a task." Starfire said quietly. "No matter how hard we fight, there will be more... the cloning tanks and…"
"Why don't you leave then, run... this isn't your planet." Raven asked.
Starfire felt tears rise up in her eyes. "Dick is here, that alone is enough." She shook her head. "I cannot live without him... I tried, I failed." She sniffed. "He will not leave. What about you? This is not your home either..."
Raven blinked in surprise at that statement before taking a deep breath. "Azarath wasn't much of a home..."
"That is not it, is it?" Starfire said.
"No..." Raven swallowed again sighed. "Garfield is here..."
"That alone is motive enough." Starfire said. "We both do what we must."
Dick led them to an interior room filled that was furnished much like a small apartment. He glanced around the room and chewed his lip. "It's been awhile… there's got to be some stuff here we can use."
Starfire poked around the room and saw Raven walk over to the bookcase in one corner. Beast Boy followed her, winding his way around her legs as a cat when she stopped. Dick tapped at a computer screen as Cyborg stared at his wrist scanner.
As Raven pulled a volume from the shelf, a false wall slowly ground open revealing a door and a large compartment filled by some strange device she thought looked vaguely familiar.
"Nice job Raven... I forgot Bruce liked to go with the classics." Dick said as Cyborg stepped up to the device.
Cyborg stopped his eyes widening in surprise. "Damn... I haven't seen one of these in awhile, not with reverse engineered Boom tubes and the like around." Cyborg said as he studied a device that looked like the inside of an engine turbine that had been hidden behind a false wall.
"What is it?" Raven asked as Garfield morphed into a small green tabby cap and slid between her legs mewing.
"Zeta-tube." Dick said with a wave of his hand and a tired sigh. "I haven't used that sort of thing for years. The transporter that the Justice League uses made it obsolete."
"Why does Bats still have one?" Cyborg asked.
"Because it's fast transport in a secure network... When the Justice League switched over, Bats took the old units and added them to his network of tunnels under Gotham." Dick said as he tapped a control panel next to the tube. "Vincefinkel Bridge Safe-house to the Bat Cave."
Dick scowled as there was no answer. "Bat Cave, come in?"
"Let me try Dick..." Cyborg said as he lifted his wrist to the device and quickly scanned it. "Looks like it's been damaged... maybe an EMP discharge. The signal isn't going through."
"Damn..." Dick growled. "Can you fix it?"
"Yeah... give me a couple minutes." Cyborg said. "I should check the Zeta-Tube as well. I don't want to die from trying to use the damn thing."
Dick nodded. "I'll check to see if the tunnels are clear, incase that thing is toast." He pulled a light from his utility belt and headed out the door.
Starfire watched him go. As the door shut, she sighed and closed her eyes. "Perhaps..."
"Go with him, Star." Cyborg said.
Starfire nodded and headed out the door. She narrowed her eyes and lit a starbolt to brighten the tunnel. As she lifted it overhead a bright light blinded her and she blinked away dots as Dick lowered his own flashlight.
"Sorry..." Dick said. "Why'd you follow me?"
"I believe Victor believes it is best if we are together..." Starfire said quietly. "He told me to go with you." She said as Dick nodded.
"He's right... none of us should go anywhere alone." He said quietly.
Starfire nodded. "Perhaps... while we walk, it'll be a good chance to do the talking?"
He smiled faintly. "Star... I don't think we have much to talk about. It's my fault, what happened between us."
"Do... do you have feelings for me still?" Starfire asked timidly and Dick stopped, his expression contorted in pain. "Richard?"
"I... I don't know Star." He said quietly. "You... Do you know about me and Babs?"
Her expression hardened at that. "Babs..."
"Batgirl..." Dick said quietly. "Oracle... Same person."
"I do not know her well... or perhaps do not remember her." Starfire said quietly.
"I am not certain."
Dick sighed. "Star... She… I... I asked her to marry me."
Starfire's heart seemed to freeze in her chest. Pain enveloped her senses and tears streamed down her cheeks. "How... how... It has not been so long since we were together... I..." She whimpered and sank to the tunnel floor and shuddered. "No... No, I will not be broken by this!" She shouted again and shook with what looked to be a convulsion. Then she spoke again, her voice dropping to a mere whisper. "Perhaps something can be worked out... when, when would the wedding be?"
"Star..." Dick sank to his knees beside her and sighed. "Starfire... there won't be one, she didn't say yes."
Starfire stared at him in confusion. Her heart hammered in her chest and she felt a flare of anger then confusion once again. "She... She said no? Why would she deny you? What is with you humans and denying each other love?" She burst into tears.
Dick swallowed. "She didn't say no... She said she'd think about it."
Humans! Her mind screamed in frustration. "Think about it? What is it... a political marriage as mine were? What is there to think about... if you are mates, if you are each other's chosen, what would there be to think about?" She gasped for breath. "Why are Humans so stupid?"
"I don't know..." Dick said quietly. "Star..."
"I... I know I have no claim on you any longer... but I need you Richard! I will not go back to being Z'hom... I would rather die!" She shouted.
Suddenly he hugged her, and Starfire stiffened. What did it mean, why did he always offer comfort? Is it because we are friends or something else? Slowly she leaned against him and buried her face in the crook of his neck. Tears ran down her cheeks. His voice whispered in her ear, "I... I will always be your friend Star..."
"Richard..." She groaned and leaned against him. It wasn't enough, but it was all he offered. Friends... Perhaps that would be enough, maybe, my heart seems to be doing the mending. She shut her eyes and sighed. "I... I hope it shall be enough."
"I do too." Dick said quietly. "I missed you."
Starfire swallowed and felt her heart soar at Dick's words. She hugged him and sighed. "I... I missed you as well."
"Star... we need to finish checking this tunnel." Dick said as he stood, pulling her upright as he did.
"I..." She swallowed. "Richard... I am afraid."
Dick nodded. "I know... I don't see how we'll survive this." He said quietly. "I... I almost wish you'd left, and then at least I'd know you'd live."
"I could not truly live without you." She said quietly. "I cannot leave... Not without you."
"Star..." Richard said quietly. "I'm sorry."
Starfire sighed as she followed Richard down the tunnel. After about a hundred meters it ended in a cave in. Dick scowled. "Damn..."
"We must return to Cyborg and inform him of the situation." Starfire said.
Dick nodded and turned back down the tunnel. As they walked Starfire fell in stride with him, her gaze flicking to him every few moments nervously.
Then he took a deep breath. "Star... I..." He chewed his lip again and ran a hand through his hair nervously. "Kori..."
She took a deep breath, feeling a warmth flow through her body at his use of her given name. Her gaze focused on him as he slowly turned to face her, and she felt a strange feeling of hope blossom in her heart.
Maybe he still has feeling for me. Her heart begged, as her conscious mind tried to stem those feelings. It would not do for him to rediscover feelings for her only to... only to fall. She felt a surge of panic at that thought and tried to squash it immediately. They were still alive, for the moment at least.
"Kori, I... I don't know what to do..." Richard finally said and Starfire looked at him in confusion. "I... Cyborg, Raven, Garfield, and... Even you are looking to me to find a way out of this mess and... I don't see one." He rasped. "Maybe it's just the exhaustion but I can't think... all I can see is that ship, the Okaarans, Citadelians, and Gordanians we're facing... perhaps even others."
He swallowed. "They're looking to me to keep them alive and I don't think it's possible." Starfire's eyes widened as she saw tears begin to run down from his eyes. "I... I'm not Batman. I... I can't lead people to their deaths, I... I don't have it... that single minded mission focus that he does. I can't make calls just on logic, the disposition of forces, strategy, or need... I use my gut, my instincts, and... all I want to do is crawl into the deepest hole I can find, hide them away... hide you away."
"Richard..."
"I'm a terrible hero, trying to save four people instead of the millions out there." He said quietly. "I don't know what to do..."
Starfire put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it lightly. "You... are a good person Richard. You're worried about us, it is only natural. We are your friends. You want what is best for us..."
"To be a good soldier: you must love the army... to be a good general: you must be willing to order the death of what you love." Robin said quietly. "I... I don't know if I can."
"Who spoke such foolish nonsense?" Starfire said. "He sounds like my father."
Richard blinked and looked over at her, his expression brightening slightly. "Oh... just a famous general from this country's history."
"Did he win?" Starfire asked.
"Most of the time," Richard said. "But ultimately he was ground down to defeat."
"He ordered too much of his army to its death then..." Starfire said. "A good leader cares for those who he leads... grieves for them, loves them, and tries with all his heart and soul to bring them back alive."
"Who said that?" Richard asked.
"I... I just made it up... but, you taught it to me... many years ago." Starfire said quietly.
"Me?"
Starfire nodded. "I have never met a better leader, even my K'Norfka does not compare... look at us Richard, my memories may not yet have fully returned, but I do remember the group you led... No one else could have led such a diverse group..." She studied his face for a long moment. "If I had to return to Tamaran as a ruler, I wished to do so as you had shown me..."
He stared at her in shock. "Surely you had teachers and..."
"An example was never given of true leadership the likes of which you display Richard." She said firmly. "If you feel we Titans are not enough, perhaps we should look to find allies... Even those you have fought against amongst the underworld would surely see that assisting would be in their best interests."
Richard smiled faintly. "Maybe..."
She nodded resolutely. "It is so. A Princess of Tamaran has declared it."
"You're getting cheeky now, Star." He said before chuckling. "Thank you..."
"You are most welcome, Richard." Starfire said. She felt her heart leap with joy at the hint of his old boyish smile. Maybe, just maybe there was hope for them yet.
They had reached the door to the room and pushed it open. Inside Cyborg had just finished and was closing an access panel. "Dick... you find anything?"
"No... The tunnel collapsed just a little ways out." He said before glancing over at the Zeta-tube. "That thing work?"
"Just finished the diagnostics... so far it all looks nominal." Cyborg said before shrugging.
"Alright, well... it's the only direct access to the Bat Cave we've got then." Dick said as he tapped the controls. "I'll power it up and setup the connection... Oh, and when I was Batman I added authorization to the cave for each of the Titans... it's pretty basic, but we don't need to be fancy."
Starfire nodded to herself then felt a faint smile and blush rising in her cheeks. Dick had thought to add her to the access for the Bat Cave, even after the Titans were gone and she had wandered off to work alongside Red Hood and Arsenal? She felt a strange bubble of happiness rise in her chest at that thought and smiled to herself.
"B02 Authorization, direct transit to the Bat Cave." Dick said and the impellers of the tube began to hum to life, yellow light flashed across the blades as they whirred faster and faster and the energy crackled to life. He turned to the others and smiled. "Let's go."