The Pink One
Me: So, my mom wouldn't let me get on the computer and I was sick. The Umbridge chapter is here. I warn you, if you can't handle weird things, read this chapter anyways.
Katniss: That's kind of redundant.
Me: I don't care. Do the disclaimer.
Katniss: This nutter doesn't own Percy or Harry.

Me and Charlie race through the halls. We have to get to Potions before class starts or we get detention. I already have a week's worth with Harry. With my luck, all of us will be in detention. Oh, gods detention with Percy. That would be dreadful.

"Did you have any dreams last night?" asks Charlie.

"Yeah. It was really weird. So my parents had the Joker in a cage in their room. I had to get food from their room. On my way out, the Joker grinned or growled at me. The next day at school, there was this middle school convention thing. Each middle school in Tennessee sent five girls to a big spacious, brightly lit library. I was sitting nest to Oakland and Siegel. I started talking to Molly, Taylor, and Erin when the lights went out. The Joker came out of the shadows and threatened to blow the library up. Then Angel came out and put the Joker in a choke-hold." Charlie gapes at me.

"What's Angel from?" she asks curiously. I gape at her. How does she not know Angel?

"Have you seen a single episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?" I ask. She stares blankly at me.

"What's that?"

"My gods, you and I are having a sleepover tonight. I swear if you don't like Buffy, you can't like the Avengers."

"Why?"

"They were directed by the same person. Joss Whedon."

"Isn't Avengers the movie with Iron Man and Captain America?"

"Who the hell are you who doesn't know what the Avengers are?" I demand.

"I'm Charlie Davidson. I'm best friends with Evangeline Rolfe and Naomi Sherman. I'm a daughter of the beauty queen. I'm a wizard. I'm the sole heir to a millionare, in both muggle and wizarding money. Happy?"

"Didn't ask for the life story."

"You asked who I am. I answered. Honestly. Well, we're five minutes late for potions, so that'll be around 20 points from Gryffindor." Urgh. That sucks. I open the door. Charlie marches in in front of me. I follow in.

Thalia POV
Gods, that girl takes forever to do things. On the Hunt, it takes half an hour for her to fully wake up. Then she plays pranks while we work. And her Twilight issue. I know it's an awful thing, but when she goes on about for hours...it's torture. I've seen Lady Artemis muttering about her. Athena adores her. If she wasn't Poseidon's kid, she and Athena would be Skype buddies.

"Why isn't Naomi here yet?" I mutter. Someone slides into the seat next to me.

"Speak of the devil and she shall be called," says the familiar irksome voice of my strangest cousin. I say that in the most loving way possible.

"Actually, Naomi, the devil comes when he wants to. You should know that by now," states Nico. Hahaha. She should know that. She tried to talk to Hades once about why he couldn't torture Stephanie Meyer when she dies. Hades shadow-travelled out of there.

"Sherman, Davidson, 20 points from Gryffindor for being late to class," says the weird guy at the front of the room. I think his name is Sack? Snack? Snake? I think it's Snake. Naomi grins and high-fives Charlie. Worrisome. The professor starts talking about making this potion thing. Something called the 'Draught of Peace.' If it works, we need to give some to Naomi. She can be as hyper as a squirrel on a sugar high.

Naomi POV
Meh. We have to make a potion. The Draught of Peace. Sounds evil. That would be an awesome essay: 'The Draught of Peace's Affect on the Dark Lord.' That would be cool. I pull out all the ingredients needed and set up my cauldron. I put in the correct ingredients and follow the instructions. And I start humming Brick by Boring Brick from Paramore.

I look over at Neville's potion. It looks really good. It's probably because he's with friends. At least, he seems better. He might be copying me, though. But I don't care. I'm doing better than Hermione. I think. Of course I could just make the water turn into the Draught of Peace. I think Percy and I could.

"Percy, can we turn the water into the potion?" I whisper to him. He looks up, startled. He thinks on it for a minute and shrugs. Well, he's just so useful. I decide to try. I concentrate on turning the half-made potion into the complete potion. I feel a sharp tug in my gut and hear the potion fizz. A silver vapor begins to emerge from it. Charlie glares at me. I smirk at her. I look around the room to see Hermione glaring at me. I give her one of those I know something you don't smiles. She huffs and looks down.

"A light silver vapor should now be rising from your potion," calls Snape. Hermione's potion is emitting a faint one. Since my potion is done, I pull out my book and start reading. Charlie pokes me and points at Snape. He glares at me.

"What do you think you're doing?" he spits at me. I mark my page and close it.

"I think I'm reading Why Zeus Rules the Skies: An Extensive Study by the Athenian Study Group. You wouldn't have heard of them. They're a little known group who has extensive knowledge of myths. Hindu, Norse, Greek, Roman, Native American, you name it. Percy's girlfriend is in it. Am I not allowed to read when I'm done with my work?" I say innocently. I can feel Percy glaring at me. Thalia chuckles. Nico watches quietly.

"Miss Sherman, you obviously do things differently in America. How-"

"Yeah. Tell me about it. Everything is much more...peaceful here," I cut him off. Percy, Thalia, Grace, Nico, Luna, and Malfoy snort.

"Yeah, seriously. Much more peaceful because they didn't just fight two wars."

"Percy! Not here. But, you know, it's true," I snap. Percy grins apologetically.

"Plus, they don't live with the Stolls. Or Katie."

"Hey, Katie's awesome. It'll be a while before she gets with Travis, though." The bell rings. I race out of the class. And forget all of my things. I walk back in stealthily. My stuff is still there. I grab it and sneak out. I follow the crowd to Umbridge's room. I land amidst an argument between Charlie and Percy.

"I'm just like you guys. You think I want to be this way? You're insane," Charlie spat. Percy glared at her.

"I'm not saying that. I'm asking how you know my sister and why you don't go to camp."

"I know Naomi cause we went to the same school in kindergarten. I don't go to your school because I can't. My mom doesn't know who my dad is. My mother won't let me go anywhere without an escort. Who are you, her father?" she snaps. Percy's face turns red with anger. He steps towards her. Time to break it up.

"Watcha doing? Percy, you look like a tomato with arms, legs, and a head. It's really not appealing. In any way at all. Do you want me to call Drew?" I ask him. His face returns to its normal color. Charlie glares at him.

"We were just talking," Percy says. I raise my eyebrow.

"Yeah. Talking. A friendly conversation between two people who hardly know each other. That explains why you were glaring at each other. Look, I don't care what your argument's about. It's not going to help us here. So you'd better deal with it and play nice. Now, I want to beat the toad verbally." I march into the classroom, sit down, and pull out my textbook. They come in and sit down. The toad enters.

"Well, good afternoon!" she says once everyone's taken their seats.

There are a couple of scattered "Good afternoon"s. She tuts. Gods, that's really annoying.

"That won't do, now will it? I should like you, please, to reply 'Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge." One more time, please. Good afternoon, class!" "Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge," we chant, like the brainwashed zombies we are. She talks about the course aims and how our teaching in DADA has been erratic. I look at the board. There are three course aims.

1. Understanding the principles underlying defensive magic.
to recognise situations in which defensive magic can legally be used.
the use of defensive magic in a context for practical use.

I pull out my pencil and begin copying it down on paper. Unlike the wizards, demigods live in the twenty-first century. Umbridge looks around the room and focuses on Percy.

"What do you think you're doing?" she demands. Percy looks up from drawing on his arm. I see that he's drawing a pegasus. Or trying to draw one.

"Nothing. Look, Nico, I can make it move!" he says excitedly. I snort at his expression. It's like he discovered a gold mine.

"Percy, you look like you found a gold mine. Or like you got a ton of blue cookies from Sally." Nico chuckles. Grace huffs and tells me to attention. Well, then.

"Has everybody got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?" she asks sweetly. Good gods, that voice is annoying. We mumble yes.

"I think we'll try that again. When I ask-"

"-you a question, I should like you to reply, "Yes Professor Umbridge", or "No Professor Umbridge". So: has everyone got a copy of Defensive Magical Theory by Wilbert Slinkhard?" I finish loudly in my best Umbridge imitation. Which, I must say, is pretty good.

"That's just one of the ways we Americans are better than you guys. We learned to read minds when we were twelve! Beat that!" brags Thalia. Luna assumes a hurt look.

"That wounded my pride, Thalia. You know how Malfoy, Annie, and I are about our pride. And it's called legilimency." Thalia just scoffs. My phone starts going off.

This used to be a Funhouse
But now it's full of evil clowns
It's time to start the countdown
I'm gonna burn it down, down, down
I'm gonna burn it down

Oops. Left my phone on. "What do you want Autumn?" I ask my friend. I can feel the glare she has through the phone.

"So you've been disappearing to go to a camp for demigods for the past three years?"

"Maybe..."

"Guess what?"

"You're blonde?"

"Well, duh," she scoffs. "I'm the daughter of," she lowers her voice, "Hades." I burst out laughing.

"Hey, Nico," I tell him, "you have a sister. I that all you wanted, Autumn?"

"Kind of. Where are you guys?"

"It starts with H and ends with ogwarts."

"Stupid jerks. Bye!" she hangs up.

"I would like you all to read chapter one.(A/N: Too bored to find my copy of the book, so it won't have exact qotes. Sorry) Okay. I will open my book and just stare at the page for an hour. With ADHD! I pull out my book and put on the textbook and read it instead. Hermione raises her hand. I keep reading. She begins fidgeting. I keep reading. She looks like she's using all of her self-restraint to keep from asking her question. I close my book. I lean over to her.

"What's the question?"

"It's none of your business."

"Good God, I was gonna ask it for you so you wouldn't ruin your streak of awesome brainy-ness. Geez, try do and do a person a favor and they just kill you," I grumble. Her face softens a little bit.

"Sorry. I just have a query about her course aims."

"Got it. HEY, OLD LADY!" I shout, breaking the torturous quiet of the stuffy old classroom.

"Yes, Miss Sherman?" she says with forced politeness. I smile sweetly at her.

"I have a query about your course aims. I thought this was DADA. If it is, why isn't there anything about actually using magic?" I ask. The class's eyes go back and forth between me and the professor.

Heh. Cut it off there. I might begin the next chapter on September 3 and have the rest of the lesson in a flashback, or it'll begin right after this. Put it in reviews which one you'd rather have. So this took a few days to write cause I wanted to be good. Review worthy? I think so!