Cas steadies Dean as they zap back into the hotel suite where Sam is waiting; and although Dean asked him to go so he could talk to his brother alone, Dean stands in front of the table unable to raise his eyes or force these thoughts into words.
Dean's heart is beating too fast, and he feels like he can't quite catch his breath. He sinks into the chair across from Sam trying to order his thoughts, but they are swirling in his head with his emotions. He realizes that he may need to throw up. He doesn't even notice Sam move until Sam is holding a bottle of water under Dean's chin and resting his other hand on the nape of his neck, thumb swiping soothingly. Dean takes it and tries to thank Sam, but the sound that comes out is a hiccupping sob. He hides his face in his hands, even more embarrassed.
"Can I apologize for being a self-centered jerk and the worse possible imitation of a big brother before you say anything?" Sam says, he was going to sit back across from Dean, but his brother hasn't shrugged off his hand, and it's nice to have that physical connection.
When Cas whisked Dean away, Sam sat at the table alone mentally kicking himself, for never having seen, for never figuring out, for missing the clues that seemed so obvious now about the traumas that his brother endured as a child have been revealed. Then Sam thought back to how he would come home from school complaining to Dean about how hungry he was, how his clothes weren't as nice as the other kids, that he needed a new lunch box, or more school supplies, or that his coat wasn't warm enough. He remembers a year when he grew out of shoes practically monthly. He doesn't remember his brother ever complaining or making him feel bad for asking.
So many things make more sense to Sam now about his brother; and he wishes Dean hadn't been such a martyr, that he hadn't had to shoulder the burden of raising him when he was so young. Looking at him now, regressed in body, he realizes how desperate Dean must have been at times. Sam hates what happened – hates having been a part of it – hates his father a little bit too. And he wants more information. He can feel the slight trembling in Dean though, so he doesn't push it. He resolves he will not treat his brother as a little boy, and gives a sharp shake of his head realizing his brother hasn't been one since he was four.
If Dean was in his grown body, his voice would have sounded growly. In this one, it sounds slightly hoarse, like he has a sore throat. His eyes flutter up to meet Sam's and then quickly dart away. "Sit down, Sammy, please." Dean's voice is unsure. "You're too tall to talk to this way."
Dean clears his throat, and he straightens his shoulders, steeling himself visibly in order to look into his brother's face again. "Listen, Sam, I, ummm, I understand if you're disgusted with me, with what I did…"
Sam hadn't realized how emotional he was feeling until he interrupts Dean, slamming his fist on the table. "Shut up, Dean! Just shut up!" He can't stand his brother shouldering all the blame.
Dean pales. He had hoped that Sam was going to forgive him. He fights back tears at the thought of losing his brother because of his past, but thinks in his heart that he deserves it. Dad had been ashamed of him, so it isn't surprising that Sam is too. "I'm sorry, Sam. I'm so sorry," Dean is muttering as he puts his head down on the table. "Sorry, I'm such a fuck up; sorry I'm so disgusting."
"No, Dean. …You don't get to be sorry. It's me; I'm the selfish one that never knew…I didn't understand."
"I thought you'd be ashamed, like Dad." Dean practically whispers. Sam knows who he'd like to hit right then, but sighs and lets the matter drop. He ruffles his brother's hair and grins when Dean slaps his hand away.
"So, you think we can get a little sleep now?" Sam asks, deciding that they both need a little emotional space.
The next morning, coffee and breakfast at the complimentary buffet at the hotel behind them, Sam and Dean find they still have more than an hour to kill before La Retama Public Library opens. They plan to check local newspaper archives to find any connection to their current situation. Sam suggests they use the wait time to exercise, either using the hotel's gym, running, or swimming in the indoor pool. Dean chooses swimming after noting they would have the pool to themselves.
The pool is heated and empty, so the brothers race each other in laps, getting a good work out before they've had enough. Dean strips off his shirt that he insisted on wearing swimming, wringing it out and drying off with the pool towels, not noticing the two hotel employees watching him. The brothers go back to their room to shower and change before leaving for the library where they spend several hours researching. Sam makes them break for lunch – the burgers his brother has been requesting – before they spend a couple more hours checking out the public access parks along the beach, looking for the wrought iron fence.
When they head back to the room again, Sam and Dean are a little dispirited. In all, day three has been a bust, and they haven't found anything really useful. They both hope Cas will be able to tell them something, anything.
What they don't expect is to be met in the lobby by a middle-aged Hispanic woman who introduces herself as a caseworker from Child Protective Services, with her are two uniformed Nueces County deputies. Someone has reported that the younger boy looked severely abused, and they need to investigate this. The case worker, who introduces herself as Nelda Ortiz, asks whether they would like to do this here or at the Sheriff's Department.
"We would also like to talk to your parents," Ms. Ortiz says. The deputies don't say anything, or offer any identification; they just follow behind as Sam leads them all into the suite.
"We, uh, we don't have any parents," Sam says. "But I have my guardianship paperwork for my brother right here. Please have a seat. Dean gets them something to drink." Sam is fussing a bit as he goes into the bedroom to retrieve the paperwork because he's worried. In all the years they lived with their dad in dubious stages of abuse or neglect they avoided being confronted by CPS, sometimes by leaving in the middle of the night. He really doesn't want his brother to end up entangled in the system now. The thought of how Dean will react, and what he may say, makes Sam hurry.
Sam hands the case worker the court order from South Dakota, and Mrs. Ortiz begins filling in paperwork with their names and birth dates. He also shows her the copies of their "parents" death certificates. Dean excuses himself, tells his brother he is going to go pray. Mrs. Ortiz asks him not to be gone long as she will need him to answer questions.
Dean gives her a shy smile and says "Yes, Ma'am." Sam wonders if his brother is overdoing it a little bit, but steels his features into a more professional mode.
"May I ask what the complaint was, Ma'am?" Sam asks.
Mrs. Ortiz continues to jot information, "If you could just let me finish getting down the vital statistics, Mr. Singer. I promise to answers as many of your questions as I can." She continues to make notes. "So, you're 21?" Sam agrees. "And your brother just turned 14." More agreement.
The older woman hands Sam back his paperwork. "Can I ask when you moved to Corpus Christi?"
"Yes, Ma'am. We moved here, well, we're kind of in the process." Sam says. "We've only been here three days. We're still in a hotel…" he trails off. "Uh, Mrs. Ortiz, you said you would explain the complaint."
The CPS caseworker explains the state's policy of allowing anonymous complaints, but to then send someone to follow up when a child's life might be in danger. She's here to make a determination if there are any threats to the safety of the child in the home. If so, she may decide to start protective services.
"Earlier today, someone called to report that your brother looks like he has been beaten. If you will please ask him to rejoin us, I need to see his back and ribs," Mrs. Ortiz says. The two deputies draw into more alert postures, as though this is the time they are expecting Sam to object.
Dean has been listening at the closed door of the bedroom after leaving to pray to Cas; he takes a deep breath and comes back into the living area as soon as his brother calls for him. "Yes, Sam," Dean asks, still trying to play the part of a sweet and obedient teenage boy, hoping Cas heard his prayer and will come knocking on the door soon.
Mrs. Ortiz approaches Dean who eyes her warily. "I need you to lift up your shirt, please."
Dean takes a step back, but one of the deputies has come around behind him. "No one's going to hurt you, son," the deputy says. "Just do as the lady asks, Lift your shirt up and turn around."
All three of the visitors' faces tighten when Dean complies.