Three updates in one week, y'all are very lucky haha. :) I hope everyone is loving the story so far, I'm really enjoying writing this for you guys. Thank you for all the reviews from every chapter, they mean a lot and thank you for reading. I might update in the middle of next week and again on Sunday, but no promises about in the middle of the week. Anyways enough of me talking, you didn't come here to read me ramble, on with the story! Flash backs are in italics.
Spencer's POV...
I wake up to pain shooting up my left arm, I sit up to see that Emily had rolled over and hit my arm in her sleep. I take a pill out of the bottle on my nightstand, I grab the cup of water sitting next to the bottle.I put the pill in my mouth, taking a swig of water to wash the pill down. I sit the cup back on the nightstand and look over at the alarm clock.
It's 3 A.M., at least I can get a few more hours of sleep. I lay back and Emily instantly curls up to my side, her arm comes to lay across my stomach. I kiss the top of her head and wrap my right arm around her body and I pull her closer to me.
This might be the last time we ever lay like this, that we're ever alone. Tomorrow I'm going to tell Ben I kissed Emily. What I did was wrong and he doesn't deserve to be lied too. He is really a great guy, he treats Emily right and makes her happy. I won't mess that up. As much as I want her to be mine, I want her to be happy even more, even if that's not with me.
Kissing Emily was mind-blowing, astonishing and overwhelming all at the same time. Kissing her felt so right but it was wrong, she with Ben and I made her cheat. I'm no better than Pagie but having her lips pressed against mine was the best feeling in the world, one that I will never feel again. Once I tell Ben what happened last night, he won't want her around me in less Hanna or Aria are with us.
"One more kiss?" I ask looking into her stunning brown eyes. She nods and I lean in and press my lips to her oh so soft ones. My right hand cups the back of her neck, pulling her up and into me. Her hands find my hips and her hand slips under my shirt, her fingertips dancing across my hips causing me to moan. Before I knew it, I was laying back on the bed and Emily was leaning over me. This wasn't about sex, we are happy with just kissing each other. And I could kiss her forever, if only she would let me.
In one night everything changed between us. Emily's not just my best friend anymore, she's my best friend that I want to date, she's my best friend that I happen to love kissing. I don't know what Emily wants out of this, out of us. I wish she'd tell me, then I would know how to handle things, I'd know what to do about Ben, I'd know where I stand with her. I don't want to be her fling but if that's what she wanted that's what i'd be. I would be her fling, her everything, whatever she'd let me be.
Emily pulls away from the kiss and rolls beside me, trying to regain her breath. I lay my head on her shoulder and start drawing random hearts with my fingertips on her bare stomach. I start to tickle her sides, she trys to push me away but I easily pin her down with my good arm. She starts to laugh and trys escape my hold.
"Stop Spencer."She laughs in between laughs. "What do I get if I do?"I ask pausing my attach on her sides so she can answer. She doesn't say anything, only grabs a fist full of my shirt and pull me in for a kiss. And let me tell you it was one hell of a kiss...
Asking for one more kiss, got me a night filled of kisses and soft touches, something I never thought I'd get from Emily. I close my eyes, trying to will sleep to take over my body. Tomorrow is going to be a long day and I need to get some rest.
I'm awaken by the smell of coffee and bacon. I get out of bed and make my way into the living room to see Emily cooking eggs and dancing in front of the stove. I can't help but grin at how cute she is. I walk up behind her and wrap my arms around her waist, pressing my lips to her cheek. "Spence."She says turning in my arms. The sad smile on her face causes me to pull away from her. Things would go back to the way they were before last night, both of us wanting the other but not doing anything about it. I wouldn't make a move for fear of losing her, she would make a move cause she's scared of what her parents would think.
Yes I know what's stopping Emily for being with me. It's not just her parents, everything she feels for me is so new to her and it scares her to death. I know what she's feeling, I was in that same boat a few years ago but I accepted who I am.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."I say looking stands in front of me, softly grabs my chin, raising my head to look at her. "I can't Spencer I'm sorry, I can't do this to Ben again."She says. I turn and busy myself with making a cup of coffee. I knew this was how things would be but it still hurt. I want to be with her so bad but I know she'll never let me. "I know I'm sorry."I say before walking back into my room.
15 minutes later as I exited the bathroom after showering, Hanna come busting in the room, smirking at me. "You kissed her, not just once but several times, good job Spencey."Hanna says, laughing when she uses the nickname. "Yes, she told us about the nickname."She adds coming over and hugging me. I see she didn't tell Hanna that it was never going to happen again,
"Hanna, she's staying with Ben, what happened last night will never happen again."I say throwing myself onto my bed. she frowns and lays down next to me. "i'm so sorry Spencer."
"It's fine, I just want her to be happy." I tell her as Aria walks into the room, a cup of coffee in her hand. "Here, your need this."Aria says handing me the coffee. I sit up and take a sip, the hot strong coffee making me feel a little better.
"What are you going to say to Ben?"Aria ask sitting in between Hanna and I. "I have know Idea, whatever keeps Em from being at fault." I say standing up and walking to my closet to find a pair of shoes. "Why don't you do what makes you happy? forget about Ben, him and Emily are never gonna last but you and Emily could last a life time." Hanna ask.
Why not take what I want? I could do it, I'm a Hastings I know how to get what I want, but this isn't about what I want, it's about Emily and what she wants and what makes her happy. Ben just so happens to make her happy, even if I want to be the one to make her happy, it's not about me. I'll do whatever it takes for her to be happy.
"It's not about me Han, we should get to school, I want to get this over with."I say slipping my black Vans on and heading out my room, backpack on my shoulder. They follow behind me as I walk into the living room of my barn, to find Emily gone. Where did she go? "She took my car."Aria whipsers, reading my mind.
Later that day after school...
I walk out of school towards the parking lot, where Ben is at talking with his friends. Emily is by his side laughing at all his jokes, being the perfect girlfriend. I wish I was him, I wish I was the one she looked at with love in her eyes. The one that gets to kiss her lips, hold her toned body, wipe away her tears. I just want to be the one that gets to be her's but I know that I never will be, I have to let go of my feelings for her and just be her friend.
"Ben, can I talk to you?"I ask walking over to him. Emily doesn't look at me but I can see her face is full of fear. "Sure, what's up Spencer?"He ask wrapping an arm around my shoulder. I try to smile at him but I'm too scared and can't form one. I'm not scaredof what he'll do to me, I could care less about me right now. I'm scared of what he'll do or say to Emily. He wouldn't hit her but he could hurt her in others ways. With words or cheating on her, just to get back at me.
"I uh... I kissed Emily last night, as soon as it happened she pulled away and left my house. it will never happen again I promise." I rush out. Yes I lied to him and I didn't want to but it's the only way for none of the blame to land on Emily. I'll do anything to protect her, i'd give my life for her without a second thought. Just like I would for Hanna, Aria and Marissa.
His face grew red and his eyes flashed with anger. Before I could say anything else, I feel his hand slap me across the face. Yeah that hurt, ever been slapped by a guy twice your size? No? Well llucky for you, because it hurts like hell. I was stunned as my hand comes up to the cheek he slapped. It stings and is hot to the touch, yup that's going to leave a make.
"You're no fucking better than Paige, you fucking slut, come on Em."He says taking Emily's hand and walking pass me but not before bumping into my left arm. I bite down on my bottom lip to keep from crrying out in pain. I hold my arm to my body and look around at all the people staring at me and whispering about what just happened.
I turn to watch Ben and Emily walk to his car. Marissa grabs him by the back of the shirt and spins him around. "What the fuck Ben?"She yells in his face. I run over to her and grab her around the waist, pulling her away from him and Emily. Emily doesn't say or do anything, she just follows Ben like a lost puppy.
I pull Marissa with me to my car, where Aria and Hanna are waiting for me. I let go of Marissa when I see Ben and Emily drI've out the parking lot. Skylar comes over to us and stands in front of me. She doesn't look happy with me but I don't blame her. We're supposed to go to Noel's party together Friday and I've been off kissing another girl, but Emily not some other girl, she the girl. The one I want to be with.
"Are you okay?"She ask, running her hand over the cheek Ben slapped. I don't say anything, I just nod my head at her. She gives me a small smile and hugs me. I wrap my arms around her when she doesn't let go after a minute or so. She pulls away when Hanna clears her thoart. She gives me a big smile and walks to her car.
Emily's POV...
Ben and I are sitting in his car, parked in front of my house. He hasn't said a word since we left school. " I don't want you hanging out with her anymore."He says looking over at me. What? Does he really believe I would stop hanging out with my best friend for him? I might love him or at least I think I do but Spencer means more to me than he does. "She's my best friend Ben, she promised it will never happen again and I believe her."I say.
"She fucking kissed you Emily, what makes you think she won't do it again?"He yells, his hands in fist. I've never seen him this mad before, it's really scaring me. "She promised Ben, you know her she doesn't break promises she makes."I whisper. He sighs and takes my hand in his and brings it to his lips, softly kissing my hand. "Just be careful."He says, his voice lower this time. He seems to have calmed down some.
He might be pissed at Spencer but he does know her and he knows she'll keep her word no matter what. Spencer and him were friends before Ben and I started dating. Spencer loved having guy friends, she always said it's easier to talk about girls with a guy then Aria, Hanna and I.
"I love you."He says kissing me before I could say it back. Which I'm thankful for, I'm not sure what I feel for him anymore. Kissing Spencer changed a lot, made me rethink everything I believe in, everything I've ever felt.
Kissing him is so different from kissing Spencer. His lips a rough, his kiss is sloppy and and too fast, he rushes our kisses always trying to get into my pants. Where Spencer's lips are soft, her kiss was slow and sweet. Spencer and I made out the rest of the night and never once did she try to take it any further. She wasn't rushing me, she just wanted to kiss me and I was more than happy to give her what she wanted.
Our kiss is getting heated and I'm trying to will myself to feel something, feel half of what I felt when I kiss Spencer. I don't want to be kissing him but I have to play the part of the good girlfriend, who loves her boyfriend and loves kissing him even when I don't. I have to play a role and forget about my feelings for Spencer.
"Who's the better kisser? Spencer or me?"He ask when he finally pulls away from me. Am I going to tell him that he doesn't even come close to her? Hell no, I'm going to lie, something I'm going to be doing a lot of till he forgets about Spencer kissing me. "You are." I say causing a grin to light up his handsome face.
Any girl would be lucky to be with him, He's sweet, handsome, funny, has a great body and is fun to be 's all those things and so much more but I don't want to be with him anymore. I won't tell him or anyone else that, I'm expected to date a guy like him, by my parents, my friends and everyone at school, and I will contuine to date him and fight my feelings for Spencer to make everyone happy. Even if I'm not...
Sooooo what do you guys think? I hope you enjoyed this update. Next chapter will be of Noel's party. Thank you for reading and I'm sorry for any mistakes. Let me know what you think and what you would like to see happen in the next chapter. I know everyone wants to see Ben and Emily break up and it will happen I promise but not for a few more chapters. Anyways, Thank you guys again for reading and for reviewing...