Authors note:Once again, my eternal thanks to FourthImpact...to be honest it's probably an obligotory thing to have to thank him every chapter so i should probably have some fun with it!
Also reviews are most welcome!
Disclaimer: No i don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion...or so i've been told...
Name Pronounciation; CARE-IS-TEE-NAH
A Crystalline Night Sky
結晶ナイトスカイ
Chapter 2
She was lying in the forecourt of Misato's apartment and Shinji needed to be with her.
Shinji moved towards her body, tears falling freely, he couldn't believe what they had done to her body, her beautiful body. Her right arm was split into two and her left eye was bleeding profusely as she lay staring with her good eye in Shinji's direction. Shinji moved close, within touching distance and observed the various holes in her plug suit, all bleeding as profusely as her eye. Shinji could only stare in horror at what had happened to her.
"Where were you?" she asked.
Shinji was transfixed by the gruesome image before him and it took a while before he realised that the young woman was speaking to him. Turning his head slowly he looked the young woman straight in the one good eye she had left, his face became twisted in agony as he tried to answer her question.
"I...As...Asuka...I...I'm sorry," he said lamely.
Asuka's features became filled with rage as Shinji continued to stammer and apologise.
"Don't you dare apologise to me you moron! Where were you when i needed you most? You were cowering in some corner that's where!" she screamed.
The young boy began to cry as he reached out to the redhead, attempting to take her hand. As soon as Shinji's hand came within a centre meter of Asuka's, the young woman snatched her hand away and snarled.
"Don't you touch me!"
Shinji recoiled from her rage and tried his best to articulate himself but could only stutter and stammer.
"Asuka...I...Unit 01...my mother...I...I-I-I'm sorry..."
Asuka sighed and turned her head and stared off, unwilling to look at Shinji. After a period of silence, she began to speak, refusing to look at Shinji.
"All I ever wanted was to be happy Shinji. All I ever wanted was to be loved and cared about and now because of you I'll never have that."
Shinji stared at Asuka unable to think of anything to say, his mouth flapping open and shut. Before he could say anything, an ear piercing roar erupted throughout the forecourt, causing both Shinji and Asuka to look up in the direction it had come from. There, standing up on top of the apartment building were several creatures looking something akin to a gigantic vultures. Shinji knew that they were familiar to him, but he could not place them. Without warning the creatures lunged from their lofty position and descended upon Asuka, throwing Shinji backwards.As Shinji picked himself up he heard the tormented, horrific screams of Asuka Langley Soryu. Running forward, he attempted to fight his way through them but the creatures formed an impenetrable wall.
"LEAVE HER ALONE!" He bellowed."Get away from Asuka. Stop it, don't hurt her please!"
As Shinji punched and kicked at the creatures, a small opening in the impenetrable wall that they formed appeared and Shinji pushed his way through the gyrating and jostling creatures. As soon as he made his way to the centre he began to feel an uneasy bubbling feeling in his stomach as he stared at the sight lying on the floor before him. Lying on the cold hard concrete was the now desecrated and dismembered body of Asuka, her plug suit ripped apart and her body cut to ribbons. Surprisingly, her face had remained perfectly intact; save for her eye. The creatures had calmed slightly but were still attempting to consume her body. Realising Shinji's presence Asuka looked up at him and began to scream.
"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, SHINJI. I HATE YOU, SHINJI. I HATE YOU!"
Asuka continued to scream over and over again these words as Shinji put both his hands over either side of his head, covering his ears, unable to take the onslaught of hatred pouring out of the German girl. Unable to take anymore Shinji screamed back.
"ASUKA! FORGIVE ME PLEASE, ASUKA!"
"ASUKA!" screamed Shinji.
The young boy jumped up from his sleep, awoken by the nightmare. Bringing his hands up to his face Shinji covered his eyes and sobbed gently for a few moments, before turning his head quickly to look over at the far corner of the room at the sleeping form of Asuka. She had insisted that they sleep as far apart as possible, to prevent any sleazy or perverted ideas from forming in Shinji's head; although he knew that she still did not fully like being too near him. Composing himself, Shinji removed his quilt and crawled slowly and quietly across the room, towards Asuka. As he reached her, he moved into a sitting position and watched the gentle rise and fall of the sheets protecting the girl from the cold temperature.
"Will she ever forgive me for what I've done?" he thought to himself.
Shinji continued watch the redhead sleep, his mind dwelling upon his nightmare. The images of what he had dreamt began to bombard Shinji, and soon he was unable to contain his emotions anymore.
"Asuka...Asuka..." he whispered softly
Moving as slowly as possible, Shinji lifted the edge of the sheets and moved into the bed beside Asuka. After much thought, Shinji gingerly wrapped his arm around the young girl's waist, being careful to mind her wounds. Pulling himself closer, Shinji raised his head towards Asuka's ear and began to speak, his voice trembling as he did.
"Asuka...please forgive me...I'm sorry for not being there for you when you needed me most...I'm sorry for everything."
As he spoke tears began to sting Shinji's eyes as he remembered both Asuka's actual death and his nightmare.
"I'm going to promise you something Asuka...I'm never going to leave you, and I'm never going to let anything or anyone hurt you ever again, not even me.
I know that I was selfish before, only caring about my own feelings. I'm not going to break my promises anymore; I'm always going to be here for you...so please...forgive me?"
As Shinji finished, he became aware of a scent, tangy and zesty. Sniffing the air for a few minutes, he moved his nose closer to Asuka's hair and realised that it was her.
"She must have washed her hair too, she smells gorgeous."
Unable to control himself, Shinji pressed himself tighter to the young red-head, his stomach pressing up against her back and his face nestled in her hair so much that his nose was brushing the nape of her neck. As he lay next to her, due the combination of their shared body heat and Asuka's scent, Shinji found himself drifting off in no time at all.
"I promise..." were his last words before he fell asleep.
After a few minutes, the young boy's breathing began to level out, and Asuka was sure that he was asleep.
"I'd rather die than spend the rest of my life trapped in this godforsaken place alone with you 'looking after' me," she said venomously.
As soon as she said it, however, Asuka began to feel as if she hadn't really meant it. Asuka had been awake all the while that Shinji had been trapped in his nightmare, everything that he said in his dream, she had heard.
"I don't really still hate him this much do I? I mean he's changed; he doesn't seem so wimpy and pathetic anymore. Shinji's taking responsibility for himself and me, I mean he even wants to make up for what happened to me, for what he's done to the world. Shouldn't I hate him for that too? Shouldn't I hate him for literally ending the world?" she thought.
As she lay there thinking, she felt Shinji's hand softly caress her stomach; it felt good against her wounds. Blushing slightly, Asuka thought of removing his hand, waking him up and yelling at him for being a presumptuous pervert.
"But I'm not going to, am I? The combination of his warmth and the fact that...that I actually want him here beside me, is going to make it all the more difficult to push him away. After everything that's happened I should hate him. I should want to throttle him while he's asleep, but I don't and I can't. When I look at him now, I see a different person...and it frightens me...and excites me. It frightens me that Shinji might just be able to make himself into a better person than I'll ever be, and I'll be left behind. It excites me...that part of me...that idiotic, moronic part of me that actually believes that I could find happiness, that I won't have to be alone anymore."
Making sure not to wake him, Asuka removed Shinji's arm from around her waist and turned around slowly until she was facing him. Their proximity brought another, smaller blush to Asuka's cheeks; had it been like this when Shinji tried to kiss her in her sleep? Pushing that thought out of her head, Asuka continued to stare at the peaceful, sleeping form of Shinji Ikari.
"I don't want to be left behind anymore, I don't want to be alone anymore, or ever again for that matter. I want Shinji to keep his promise but I just can't help myself from thinking that he'll break it, even though there's a part of me that knows the new person that Shinji is trying to become doesn't break promises. I want to be loved; I want the love that I know Shinji had for me and was to afraid to show before, I have to try and be a better person too."
Taking a deep breath, Asuka realised that she was caressing Shinji's face with her index finger. Quickly pulling her hand away, the blush already on her face becoming redder, Asuka lay there staring at the young boy.
"I couldn't admit it to him then, I don't think that I ever could, but I really wanted to impress him, after Kaji told me about his synch ratio when he first piloted Unit 01. Then, when we got to know one another, there was this part of me that wanted him, badly. This part of me that saw Shinji as a kindred spirit, that even though our personalities were so very different, we were just like each other. I didn't know it then, but we were just like one another; we'd both lost our mothers, but we found different ways of dealing with it.
As she continued to stare at Shinji, Asuka lifted her hand up to his face once more, but this time traced his lips with her finger. Memories of her first kiss came back to her.
"I was mortified when you didn't react, when you wouldn't even hold me. I hated you, I really hated you, Shinji Ikari; but even then I couldn't help but try to visit you in the hospital after the Twelfth Angel, Leliel. I still cared about you, even though you didn't seem to care for me. I couldn't understand why I still cared about you, and it affected my synch ratio. In the end, all I could do was hate you, Misato, myself and the world. But here we are, Post-Apocolyptia, alone and together and all I can think about is how much I need you, how much I want you. It's probably just selfishness, but I can't even find a part of me that cares what's happened to the world, to everyone else, I just want you to care about me and make me feel real, alive and get rid of this empty void that I feel inside me.
Asuka pressed her body tighter against Shinji's, burying her head in his chest and moving his arms around her.
"Shinji, please don't leave me alone, don't break that promise, I don't want to hate you again. I don't want to be consumed by hate and pain and loneliness again.
A few minutes passed, as the young red-head pressed her body tightly to Shinji's her mind began to dwell on ways to improve herself.
"Maybe I'll try cutting him some slack. After all, if he's having nightmares he must feel guilty for what happened, and he's already said that he wants to make it up to me.""Yeah, that's...that's what I'll do," she said as she finally nodded off.
Waking early, the memories of last night came back to Asuka as she realised Shinji and herself were entangled. Deciding that she wasn't in the mood to chew him out, especially since she herself had formed a more intimate embrace than Shinji had, Asuka quietly removed Shinji's arms from around her body, followed by the duvet covers. As soon as the young redhead removed the covers, however, she wished she hadn't bothered. During the night, it had snowed, further lowering the temperature, as Asuka soon found out when she went to draw the curtains open.
"Wow, I haven't seen snow since I was a child," she said, her eyes full of wonderment.
Due to Second Impact, the weather patterns of the entire world had shifted and so countries like Japan and Germany had been subject to year-round summer-like weather. Asuka herself had seen snow only once before.
"The last time I saw it snow, was when I was four years old, when mama and I went to the UK to visit an old friend of hers. Typical that when the entire world's weather gets hotter, Britain's got colder, it was Scotland though so I s'pose it could be expected."
Smiling at the irony, Asuka continued to stare out at what had become of Tokyo-3, the snow giving it an eerie, almost hauntingly beautiful quality. The snow, however, was not the only awe inspiring quality of the morning; the fact that it was still night outside and the dark purplish hue that the clouds gave the atmosphere also surprised the young German girl.
"Must be something to do with all the snow clouds."
In fact, the snow clouds were so thick and dark it seemed that they were blocking out any kind of daylight all together, though Asuka did not give it much more thought. As the snow continued to fall, Asuka's mind remained in the past.
"Was that the last time I was ever truly happy? Sure I loved piloting Unit 02 but...there was always a part of me that felt...empty, that I just kept shoving out of my mind to trick myself into believing that I was happy, that being an Eva pilot was what I was put here on this planet to do...but Unit 02 is gone and I'm still here...thanks to Shinji..."
Turning to look at him, Asuka took in the sight of Shinji Ikari. Still asleep, he had rolled over into the space Asuka had left, and was breathing gently, indicated by the slow rise and fall of the sheets.
"In a way, I'm kind of glad that Shinji brought me back, if it was him that is, but I still don't understand what he meant."
But Asuka, that life wasn't really a life at all, isn't it better to exist as one person and have individual thought, to be real instead of just a
consciousness floating in a void?
"I loved that existence, I was with mama again, but I'm back in the real world now, and I kinda like it. It does feel good to touch, smell and taste again, and even though I miss her, I know that mama is always with me.
As Asuka continued to think, she felt the cold against her bare legs and the small part of her chest that was visible, and pulled Shinji's shirt around her tighter.
"But the cold is something I could really do without!" she whined.
As she said this, Asuka huddled herself on the floor, pulling Shinji's shirt closer to her face. All at once Shinji's scent hit her, and she couldn't help but keep it pressed against her cheeks.
"Cinnamon...and something else...lead-y...no...wood...wait a minute!"
"Old books!? why cinnamon and old books?" she blurted out."He spends half his time cooking Japanese stuff; it should be Soya sauce and some kind of fish
that he smells of!"
In the corner of the room, Shinji murmured and turned around in bed and Asuka held her breath, hoping against hope that he hadn't heard her. Asuka had never really been in a position to take in Shinji's scent, the only time being when they were in close proximity, which hadn't happened a lot, even though they'd been living together. After a few minutes, things settled and Asuka stood up from her huddled position and moved back to the window, her eyes taking on a faraway look again.
"Why do sights and smells always bring back old memories...?"
As Asuka's thoughts trailed off, her mind became filled with images of the past, of the last time she and her mother had been happy.
"Look at the castle in the snow mama, that's where we should live, with servants dancing to our every whim!"
"Asuka this is Professor Cairistiona Mackenzie, an old university friend of mine...She's Scottish you know"
"Really mama, I would never have guessed."
"Asuka...Asuka are you okay?" asked Shinji.
The sound of Shinji's voice tore Asuka away from her solitary peregrinations so abruptly that she jumped at the sound of his voice. Turning wildly, Asuka lashed her arm out in Shinji's direction.
"Scheisse! Sie Idiot Shinji, Sie erschreckten mich!" she cried in German.
Shinji, expertly dodging Asuka's swipe, jumped backwards, a big smile spreading across his lips.
"Sorry, it's just you've been staring out of the window for 10 minutes and your legs are starting to turn blue with the cold." he explained
"Staring at my legs were you? Who gave you permission to stare at me, huh Baka Shinji?" she said, her eyes narrowing suspiciously.
"Well...I...it was just...you..." he stammered, his cheeks turning a bright crimson.
Asuka tried to keep her keen stare firmly on Shinji, but as his face turned red all she could do was giggle.
"You're so easily embarrassed Shinji, good to see some things haven't changed," she said.
"I got you some clothes, here," he said, handing Asuka a handful of clothes.
Shinji, whilst Asuka had been staring out of the window, had gotten up and changed. Now dressed in his favourite reddish-pink shirt and jeans, along with his baseball boots, he had also gone into Asuka's room and acquired some of the clothes he thought would be best for the cold weather. Asuka examined the clothes, Shinji had actually picked out some decent clothes for once, if somewhat odd for winter conditions, though Asuka had no actual winter wear in her cupboard; there was no need for it when Tokyo-3's year round temperature tended to be over 30 degrees. A pair of thick black thigh high socks, a red body warmer, a thick long sleeved jumper with a black undershirt, a short denim skirt and a pair of boots.
There was a moments silence as the two teenagers stared at each other; Asuka was the first to break the silence.
"Baka Shinji, unless you want me to beat you into a bloody mess on the floor, be a dear and go in the other room!" she said
It took a few moments, but Shinji eventually got the message. With a nervous rub of his head, Shinji scurried out of the room in the direction of the kitchen.
"I'll...go...see if I...can find anything for us to eat." he said disappearing into the kitchen.
Asuka watched Shinji all the way to the kitchen, making absolutely sure that he would not be able to see her.
"Hmph, I could just get changed in my bedroom is suppose...but where would be the fun in that?"she thought, a satisfied expression crossing her face.
"So wharf arf we gonna foo?" said Asuka, her mouth full to the brim with sausages.
Shinji, who had forgotten to check the fridge last night for a combination of reasons, had looked into the fridge, whilst Asuka was getting changed, with a lot of trepidation. Would everything in there be moldy and rotten? As it had turned it, the answer had been no, but what had surprised him was that most of the stuff in the fridge had been stuff that neither he nor Misato would have bought; there was a distinct lack of beer and instant ramen, and also a distinct lack of the expansive range of food that Shinji would normally buy. What he had found surprised him, it had turned out that there was a large amount of western food in there, much to Asuka's delight. Upon discovering the contents of the fridge, Asuka had point blank refused to allow Shinji to leave and see if he could scrounge some Japanese style food from some of the wrecked shops, demanding that he cook as many sausages as possible. Shinji had done so diligently, but had found his appetite was lacking once he had served the breakfast up. Staring at the speed at which Asuka was piling away the sausage's and toast, Shinji had lost all awareness of what was going on around him, including Asuka even though he was staring at her.
"Arroo? Earf foo Shinji, wharfs the fan?" she asked.
As Shinji continued to stare, Asuka found herself feeling both embarrassed and annoyed by Shinji's apparent lack of attention to her voice, and the fact that he was staring thoughtfully at her. Swallowing the sausages in her mouth, Asuka picked up a sausage and threw it across the table smacking Shinji across the head.
"Hey Baka Shinji, pay attention to me when I'm talking to you!" she said, her voice raised slightly.
Wiping away the grease that had splattered across his forehead, Shinji rested his elbow on the table and laid his head on his hand.
"Sorry, what did you say?"
"Are you alright Shinji? You seem a little spaced," said Asuka
"It's just the cold, I'll see if I can trip a circuit breaker or something and see if I can't get the electricity and heating back on today, anyway what was it you said?" asked Shinji.
Asuka continued to watch Shinji for a few seconds. Apart from when he had awoken, Shinji had seemed a little distant, worried almost. Had his nightmare disturbed him that much last night?
"I asked you what the plan was, what are we gonna do for the rest of our lives?" she asked,flippantly
In truth, Shinji had given this little thought, the furthest he had gotten was to make home at Misato's, but he knew that Asuka would not take kindly to the idea that he had no clue what he was doing.
"Well I thought we could patrol the beach and look out for anyone who might've managed to pull themselves out of the Sea of LCL," he said.
"WHAT!? That's your plan?" she shouted.
Standing up from the table, Asuka placed one hand firmly on her hip and began waving a sausage about in the other in Shinji's direction.
"If that's all you could come up with, then it's a good thing I came back when I did, you're useless without me, Shinji," she said cockily.
Shinji was unable to contain a smile as Asuka stood before him waving her food about. Asuka was behaving almost like she used to before they had kissed, when Shinji had made a mess of things. Was she accepting her life here now, her life here with him?
"I'd be lost without you," he said
Asuka, hearing Shinji, stammered and blushed. Deciding to ignore what he, said she went on.
"W-well anyway, first we could start by fixing the generator in this place, then we could scrounge around the ruins of the city and see what loot we can find. If we can find some kind of radio transceiver then we could put out a continuous SOS to see if anyone else in the country has been able to re-form themselves, they should hear it if they turn on a radio."
"Put...out a continuous radio message...Asuka...how many people are going to put the radio on after the world has ended?" Shinji asked with trepidation, knowing full what was going to happen.
Asuka threw another sausage in Shinji's direction, which he dodged, and slammed her hands upon the table. Leaning across the table, giving Shinji the most determined look he had ever seen, Asuka took charge.
"It's better than sitting around the beach waiting for people who may or may not come back. Now get a coat or jacket, Baka Shinji. We're going shopping!"
Upon reaching the reception area, Shinji had asked Asuka if they could make a quick detour to the beach.
"Why? I thought you would never want to see that place again...especially with that gruesome head staring at you," said Asuka
"I promised everyone that I'd bring them flowers, Asuka, I just want to keep my promise," said Shinji
"Everyone? What do you mean?" asked Asuka warily.
Shinji had forgotten that Asuka didn't know about the graveyard he had erected on the beach and smiled, somewhat sadly, as he responded.
"Well I'd been waiting on the beach for so long, days, weeks, months, I didn't think anyone was coming back...so...I made a graveyard as a memorial to the people that I knew. Everyone is there...well except you." he said.
"Why didn't you make one for me?" she asked defensively.
"Because I hoped you'd come back," he said flatly.
Asuka stared at Shinji for a moment, hoping that she hadn't blushed again.
"Why am I blushing so much lately? Asuka Langley Soryu doesn't blush and shut up heart, stop beating so fast! Will I ever get used to the way he is now?"
"Well we can go there first then," she said calmly.
In the few hours that the two former Evangelion pilots had spent sleeping, the city had been transformed by the snow. At least a foot and a half of snow had fallen, and added to this the purple-ish-red haze that the atmosphere had become thanks to Instrumentality, Tokyo-3 had become an alien planet. This in mind, Shinji was having difficulty making his way through the thick snow, but it didn't seem to stop Asuka from playing around.
"Hey Shinji, catch this!" she yelled, throwing a snowball.
The snowball hit Shinji squarely in the face causing him to slip and fall backwards. As he descended, he could here Asuka bellowing with laughter.
"Oh come on, you're such a klutz sometimes, Shinji!"
Shinji, picking himself up, launched a snowball in Asuka's direction, which the fiery red-head managed to duck. Sticking her tongue out and blowing a raspberry, Asuka ran off in the direction of the beach.
"Too slow, Baka Shinji, got try harder if you wanna catch Asuka Langley Soryu!" she shouted.
"Don't I know it!" he shouted back, giving chase.
Chasing Asuka through the city, it didn't take long before they reached the beach and the "graveyard." As Shinji made his way towards the tombstones, Asuka decided to stay a distance away feeling that Shinji needed some time alone. Looking out to the Sea of LCL, Asuka took in, what she saw as, the repulsive sight of Lilith. In the life she had before Third Impact and Instrumentality, Asuka had not been friends at all with Rei Ayanami. She had seen Rei as nothing more than a doll, a puppet pulled by her master, Gendo Ikari's, strings, but that hadn't been the only reason for her dislike of the pilot of Unit 00. Asuka shifted her gaze from Lilith to Shinji as her eyes glazed over and she became lost in thought.
"I suppose I saw her as a rival. A rival as an Eva Pilot, a rival as a leader...and a rival for Shinji. I hated her, she was just a doll that I thought tried steal away the love I wanted...like mama's doll. At the time, I didn't know that Shinji cared for her like a sibling; I thought he may have wanted her, so I despised their closeness. I despised how he talked to her and spent time with her instead of me, even though she behaved like an emotionless zombie. Then comes along Instrumentality, and I realise that Shinji did care for me, but that it was my fault that he never said anything. The way I acted, I made him think that I wasn't interested in him, that I thought he was below me, of course Shinji wasn't as open with his feelings either, so it was a two way thing, but I can't help but wish that things were different."
Asuka continued to watch Shinji, before letting out a sigh of frustration and flopping backwards onto the snow.
"Ugh, I just want...I want to forget everything that happened before, I just want to start anew," she whispered.
Asuka continued to stare into the sky as snow began to fall again.
"I just want to let go of the past and move on...maybe with you." she said.
Shinji knelt next to the graves of his lost friends, placing a single rose on each. He soon found however that he was a few flowers short; standing up Shinji took a few steps backwards as he took in the sight of the graveyard he had created.
"I'm sorry that there isn't enough," he said. "Flowers are pretty hard to come by now."
Shinji continued to watch the graves as snow once again began to descend. He began to feel an overwhelming sense of sadness as memories of his old friends flooded his mind. At last he spoke.
"I have this feeling inside me now, that tells me that I should move on, that I should let go of everything that held me back before. The thing is, I don't know whether or not there are some things that I shouldn't let go of, that there are some things that I should keep close to my heart forever. I don't want to keep coming back here, because it hurts too much to remember, but I know that I should respect and value what you all meant to me."
Thrusting his hands through his hair, Shinji growled in frustration.
"I just want to let go of the past, I just want to make a new life. Asuka and I have been given a second chance, but there are still some things that need to be dealt with between us."
Turning around Shinji could see that the person in question was lying back in the snow looking to the heavens. Turning back, he bowed towards the graves, and with a wave of his hand, he made his way back towards Asuka.
"Why is remembering the past so painful?" he asked himself.
After the two teenagers left the beach, it had taken a full hour to find a DIY store with the equipment and parts that they needed to fix the apartments generator due to the fact that, whilst they knew their way around Tokyo-3 very well, they had never noticed any kind of Do-It-Yourself stores; they had never needed to fix anything, add in the fact that Asuka had wanted to have several snowball fights on the way and that Shinji was forced to carry all of the stuff that they had found around the city, made it a particularly arduous walk for the boy.
"You're such a child, Asuka, getting so worked up over snow!" said Shinji.
Asuka, who was in the process of rolling another snowball, dropped said snowball, placed her hands on her hips, leaned forward so that their noses were almost touching and stared directly at Shinji.
"Well the fact that I HAVE a child like side shows that I can at least enjoy myself unlike you, mister grumpy," she said, playfully flicking his nose as she finished.
"Hey, I do know how to enjoy myself, I just don't like being turned into the abominable snowman by a girl who can throw snowballs faster than a machine gun can fire bullets!" he protested, rubbing his nose gently, and sticking his tongue out.
"Well learn how to duck then, you dork!" she cried as she turned and ran around the nearest corner."Come on you slow poke, we've got to get back before we turn into icicles"
Shinji, whose spine was beginning to bend into the shape of a banana, stopped and laid his luggage on the ground. Sighing heavily, Shinji watched the snow fall, and closed his eyes. Even though there wasn't a breeze, the cold air was refreshing. Taken in a lung full of air, Shinji took a few moments to enjoy the peace and quiet.
"SHINJI, hurry up will you, come here. Look what I've found!" cried Asuka.
Grumbling, Shinji lifted up all of their bags and loot and turned the corner. The sight that met him did not, and had never, filled him with any kind of awe, more like cold dread.
It was their old school
"Why do I fear it? Why does it make me feel inferior?"thought Rei.
Since her meeting with the entity on the beach, Rei had been obsessing over that meeting, unable to let it go. When she had fused with Adam, Rei had become aware of the true reasons behind the Angels and their attacks. The Angels were the children of Adam and the human race were the children of Lilith. The Angels were meant to inherit the earth, but due to unavoidable circumstances, Adam was impaled on his own Lance of Longinus and Lilith's spawn became the owners of the Earth. With this knowledge and the sheer power she had been granted, Rei had become a god-like being and in effect she still was. This entity, however, felt much much older than both Lilith and Adam, and it frightened her. It was much older, and in Rei's reasoning, much wiser. It was a serious and pertinent threat, but there were many questions that still bugged the blue haired girl.
"Why did it specifically state that it wanted Ikari and Soryu, there are many more humans around the globe that have found form again, so why them specifically?"
After a while, Rei lifted her head and looked up towards the heavens, as if she was looking at something specifically.
"Help will not come in the form of Evangelion this time," she said aloud."No, Mankind must prove that they have the right to exist or they will perish. I am sorry Shinji, but your mother and your father were fools. When they were alive and together, they wanted nothing more than to create a bright future for the entire human race. In the end, they may just have brought about the final judgement of humanity."
Turning her head from the sky, Rei looked towards the snow covered building that was Misato's apartment, her face as impassive as ever.
"But I fear that your fate has already been decided."
"Oh come on don't be such a wimp, Shinji. There might some more essential things in there!" moaned Asuka.
"Yeah like hundreds of maths textbooks and pencil sharpeners," grumbled Shinji.
"What did you say?" shouted Asuka.
They had been arguing for over half an hour about whether or not to go into the school. Shinji had no desire to enter the school, partly because of the painful memories of his friends that it would bring back, but partly because the building itself had been badly damaged during Instrumentality and looked as if it would collapse if someone so much as belched. Asuka, however, was adamant that they should go in, leading Shinji to believe that she had an ulterior motive for wanting to check the school out.
"Nothing. Anyway we've got all we need Asuka, and you said yourself that we should get back before we turn into icicles," he reasoned.
"Fine then, I'll go by myself, but what if some new monster created by the weird and freaky Instrumentality gets me, huh, Shinji?" she said.
Shinji knew that she was goading him and he found the idea that there was some kind of monster lurking in the shadows ridiculous. Then again, he did used to pilot an enormous robot to fight infinitely powerful beings and he had promised that he would never leave her, a promise Shinji fully intended to keep.
"Who knows what Instrumentality may have brought into this world."he thought.
"Fine then, let's go, but can we spend as little time as possible in there? It looks as if it could fall apart at any moment," he said, pinching the bridge of his nose
Asuka, leaping forward and grabbing Shinji by the hand, pulled him in the direction of the school. As they made their way through the entrance, Shinji felt an awful sense of foreboding. Would he be haunted by his friends, blaming him for everything that had happened, or was it something else?
Opening the front door, Asuka, who was totally unfazed by the fact that the reception area was left undamaged, let go of Shinji's hand and ran through a nearby corridor to her left.
"Race you to our old class Shinji!" she cried.
Shinji was about to give chase when the sound of a door sliding shut, from his right caught his attention. Forgetting all about Asuka, Shinji moved slowly towards the where he had heard the noise, curiosity getting the better of him. As he entered the corridor Shinji became aware that that something was not right. To his left the wall was covered with posters and leaflets inviting anyone to gatherings, dances and the like. To Shinji's right was the door that had shut all by itself, and the windows that separated the class from the corridor. Walking past the door, Shinji froze in his tracks, his blood running cold. In his peripheral vision Shinji was aware of two people standing facing one another on the other side of the windows. Turning his head slowly, Shinji saw that the two figures were not discernible, they were merely dark silhouettes, the only thing he could make out that one was female and the other was male. As he continued to stare, not knowing what to do, Shinji stood stock still, waiting.
"Did you hear about that new kid a couple years below us, they say he's gone missing," said the female.
"Yeah, apparently he's the new guy's little brother," said the male.
"What new guy?" asked the female.
"You know, that guy with the short brown hair who sits at the back of class, what's his name...Mugen Watanabe, or something," said the male.
"Well that may be, but that's the second person to go missing from the school in two months, what the hell is going on?" said the female, her voice slightly panicked.
"Don't worry, you won't go missing, I mean you're the most popular and gorgeous girl in school, Saki, no one can take their eyes of you for a minute," said the male.
"Oh, you're such a flirt. Hey here's the teacher," said the female.
As she finished, the two disappeared as they took their seats. Shinji, who by this time had found he was able to move, hesitated as his hand rested on the door handle. What was going to be behind the door when he opened it? Swallowing his courage, Shinji slid the door open as quickly as he could.
To find an empty classroom.
Asuka had found her old classroom with relative ease; she had spent a year going to and from it, after all. Sliding the door open, Asuka walked into the classroom, the memories of the time she spent here hitting her with tremendous force.
"My real reason for coming here was so that...I could honour my friends, like Shinji had with his graveyard...when I say friends I mean you Hikari, apart from Shinji, you were the only other true friend I had."
Making her way through the desks and chairs, Asuka found her desk and took a seat. As she stared at the chalkboard at the front, Asuka lifted her elbow up onto the table and she rested her head in her hand.
"I didn't exactly enjoy myself here, I had already been to college, but I enjoyed spending time with Hikari. She was the exact opposite of me, sweet, kind, ever so slightly introverted, but we got on. I miss her."
Shifting her gaze, Asuka's eyes landed upon Shinji's desk and she immediately became aware of his absence.
"Where the hell is that lunkhead?" she said impatiently
"Y'know when I still had a body, I never realised that you liked Shinji," said a familiar voice.
Asuka, who was still staring at Shinji's desk, jumped from her chair at the sound of the voice. Staring at the front of the class, where the voice had come from, Asuka was shocked by the sight that met her.
"Hikari?" she said, shocked."But...you can't be here...can you?" she asked.
Hikari giggled, placing a hand over her mouth, and moved from her place at the front of the class. Pulling Shinji's chair from his desk, Hikari took a seat and smiled at her old friend.
"I'm honestly flattered that you miss me, Asuka. I would never have thought that I mattered at all to you," said Hikari, still smiling.
"Hikari...you were my friend, I cared about you, even if I didn't show it much," said Asuka, hurt slightly by the suggestion that she had just used Hikari as a convenience friend.
"I'm not here to affirm our friendship, Asuka. Seriously though, you used to call Shinji a baka all the time, but there were times that I kinda thought you were just as Baka as him!" said Hikari seriously
Asuka was shocked by Hikari and her bluntness. Before Third Impact, Hikari could have been described as a bit of a wallflower, so much so that Asuka would never have expected the young girl to be like this, especially not with her.
"What do you mean, Hikari?" said Asuka defensively.
"I mean that you used to make fun of me that I could never tell Suzuhara that I liked him, but you were exactly the same with Shinji. Granted that when you did try, he didn't get the message but then you always did it in a roundabout way!" said Hikari
"What does she mean a round-about way? I kissed that idiot for god sake!"
"Take when you kissed for-"
"How do you know about that!?" screeched Asuka
"Does everyone in the world merged together as one ring a bell, Asuka?" Hikari said nonchalantly. "As I was saying, take when you kissed. You told Shinji that you were bored and so you made him think that you were only kissing him because you wanted to kill time."
"It's not my fault that Shinji was so stupid, if he couldn't discern mixed signals then-"
"But you weren't much good at it either, Asuka." interrupted Hikari."But there was another reason for your round-about way of doing things, wasn't there?"
Asuka merely stared at Hikari waiting for her to speak.
"You were afraid that you'd find happiness for the first time in your life. You were frightened that Shinji could actually make you happy if you admitted that you cared for him. But why were you frightened of happiness Asuka? It really isn't something you should be afraid of."
As Hikari continued to speak, Asuka had turned her head towards her desk and had begun to tremble.
"Shut...Shut up Hikari." she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
"You believed that you didn't deserve happiness because of the kind of person you were, because of everything that had happened to you. It's odd isn't it, that you portrayed this image of vanity on the outside, but on the inside you hated yourself.
"SHUT UP," screamed Asuka.
Lifting herself up from the desk, Asuka turned and ran in the direction of the door.
"Asuka, are you in here?" said Shinji, opening his old classroom door.
The interior of the classroom hadn't changed at all; the only thing worthy of note was that Asuka's chair was toppled over.
"She's been here then," he said quietly.
Closing the door, Shinji stopped as he began moving up the corridor when he saw something in his peripheral vision once again. Turning, Shinji nearly yelped in shock at what he saw. There were several silhouettes pressed up against the window of the classroom, all looking in his direction. Though he couldn't see any eyes, or their faces for that matter, Shinji felt as if he was being stared at. Backed up against the corridor wall, Shinji's eyes widened with shock as his body totally froze.
"I can't believe this, that's four people that have gone missing now and did you hear about the first person who went missing, apparently they turned up at the local baths, with their head and arms missing," said one female voice.
"This is getting scary, what are the police doing, four people go missing, all of them from this school!" said a second female voice.
"It was the teacher of 2-B they're saying that's gone missing now, the last anyone saw of her was when class left for the day," said a third male voice.
"But who would want to harm Ms. Tohno? She was the nicest teacher in the school," said the second female voice.
"This all started when that new guy came to the school, I bet it's something to do with him!" shrilled the first female voice.
"Oh come on, you're getting hysterical, the police will sort everything out, you'll see." said the male voice
Shinji, his fear rising to a high level now, turned and fled in the direction of the stairs that led to the roof.
Asuka had come up to the rooftop right after her meeting with Hikari; the experience had been both a frightening one and an annoying one. Asuka was terrified by the fact that she had seen her friend, who, for all intents and purposes, was effectively dead, though Asuka knew that no one had really died because of Instrumentality. It was an annoying meeting because what Hikari said was true; she did believe that she didn't deserve happiness.
"All I want is to be happy, but I subconsciously and consciously push the only chances I get away. I knew that I cared about Shinji, and all I needed to do was ask, but I didn't. Was I afraid of being rejected? I didn't think so then, but now that I look back I can't help but feel as if I was kidding myself, that I was just telling myself that I wasn't afraid of Shinji rejecting me, when I really was.
Leaning on the safety railing, Asuka's features twisted into a frown as she gently kicked the ground. Standing up straight, Asuka stared out at the city.
"I don't want to think about this anymore, I don't want to feel like this anymore. Why can't I just forget about the old me, the me that couldn't do anything right...like Shinji has. I mean, this is a new world, and I was literally reborn, so shouldn't I try to re-make myself, be a better person like I thought before?"
Turning and walking to the far end of the roof, Asuka wrapped her arms around herself; the cold was getting to her.
"I want someone to hold me...I just want to feel love. I spent so much time loving myself, taking pride in the fact that I was an Evangelion pilot when I really had nothing at all BUT that. Now I don't have anything and I can't bear this loneliness. Maybe you're right Hikari, maybe I was afraid of happiness before, but I'm not now. The question is, do I still have time to find where my happiness lies?"
Sprinting up the three flights of stairs, Shinji burst through the doors, quickly turning around to shut them. Pressing his back up against the doors, Shinji leaned over, placing his hands on his knees, and began to wheeze and pant.
"Oh crap...I've never...never had to run so fast...what the hell is happening to me?"
Finally managing to compose himself, Shinji turned his head to look up at the sky. He was surprised to find that some of the clouds had cleared, and the night sky was visible along with the stars. There was still snow falling, but it was light. Shinji was just beginning to calm himself when a voice from the far end of the roof caused him to scream.
"Shinji, are you all right?" asked Asuka.
Jumping at her voice, Shinji turned and was trying to open the rooftop doors when Asuka spoke again.
"Hey, Dummkopf, what the hell are you doing?" she asked
"Oh it's just you Asuka, it's nothing I...I just got a fright is all," he said nervously.
Asuka, who could see that Shinji was clearly more than just frightened by something, wondered if he had suffered from the same experience as she had. She found it comical, however, that the other two of the three stooges could do anything to frighten anyone, ever. Deciding against telling Shinji about her experience, Asuka turned and stared up at the sky.
"Just...Just come here a minute," she said.
Shinji could see Asuka's mood was a little low, and in an effort to understand why, he moved up beside her. Looking up to the sky with Asuka, Shinji was amazed at how bright the stars looked through the little opening they could see in the clouds.
"Wow, it's like after we fought the Ninth Angel. You remember when the power was cut?" said Shinji, his eyes lighting up with wonderment.
Asuka, however, did not answer the boy and for a time there was silence. Shinji continued to stare up at the sky, his mind filling with worry. Deciding to look at the fiery red head, he was somewhat surprised to find that Asuka was looking at him, her face pained and her blue eyes watching him, sadly.
"Shinji why did you try to kill me on the beach before?" she asked.
For a moment, Shinji could have sworn that his heart had stopped, as he finally began to feel the biting cold penetrate his skin. All Shinji could do was to stare at Asuka. The snow continued to fall as Shinji tried to find the words to express himself.
"I...was afraid...I was afraid that you would push me away, that you'd reject me. I've never known unconditional love, Asuka, my father never truly loved me and I can't really remember my mother, but when I think about all the things she had done as Unit 01, I don't know whether she loved me or if I was just a means to an end like I was to my father. The only time I've ever known love, true love, was when...when Kaworu told me that he loved me."
Letting go of the railing, Shinji turned around and took a few paces away from Asuka, his right hand flexing and unflexing involuntary. As the memory of Kaworu came back to him, Shinji found himself wondering if the beach he and Asuka had laid upon was in fact the place he had met the final angel.
"For the first time in my life, someone had told me that they loved me, just because they did, not because I had something they wanted or that I was useful to them in some way, just because they loved me. But he betrayed me, he betrayed my trust and my feelings and I couldn't accept that. Because of Kaworu, I had experienced unconditional love and I wanted more, but I had nothing, I was alone. I wanted to share that with someone, and I wanted it to be you."
Asuka had been taking everything Shinji was saying in, it was odd though that some of what he was saying she already knew.
"I never met this Kaworu, but when I here his name, I see him. Whitish-silvery hair, red eyes, kind of androgynous, what I would imagine a REAL angel to look actually. The things about his mother and father though, I never knew any of that. Why does the fact that he's being honest and open with me for once make me feel...happy?"
Asuka watched Shinji; he was still staring off towards the beach.
"Ayanami...Ayanami helped to bring you back, she appeared to me, well her voice anyway, but I didn't recognise her. I had been there so long, and after instrumentality all I wanted was to move on, and I wanted you back because I believed that you wanted me. I wanted to make things right. But once I recognised her voice, when I remembered who she was, all my courage and determination faltered. I was terrified that you'd say those words again, I was afraid that you'd tell me you hated me, but then you stroked my face. You made me realise that I could still find happiness, that not everyone hated me."
Breaking away from the beach, Shinji turned and looked at Asuka, his face full of sadness. Even though Shinji had tried to help himself be a better person, there was still a hefty amount of pessimism left in the teenager. For all Shinji knew, Asuka would tell him that he was wrong.
Asuka was, to say the least, surprised by Shinji's truthful admission. There were so many things that she wanted to say, so many things that she wanted to do.
It was then that the railing she was leaning on gave way.
As soon as the railing gave way, everything seemed to slow and crystallize. Asuka fell backwards, shock rising across her face, her arms outstretched. As Shinji lunged forward, his foot slipped and, more by good fortune than anything else, he was propelled forward. Wrapping his arms around Asuka, the force of his body hitting hers was enough to twist the two around; Shinji now being the one closer to the ground. It was then that everything seemed to return to normal and the two teenagers plunged toward the ground. As the two plummeted, they fell through a large tree, it wasn't enough to stop there descent, but it was enough to soften the eventual pain.
Hitting the ground hard, Shinji cried out as searing hot pain cut its way through his right arm and he was left gasping for air, as the combination of the pain and Asuka landing on top of him caused black spots to dance in front of his vision. Asuka also cried out, though Shinji wasn't sure if it was in surprise or if she had been
hurt also. As they hit the ground, Asuka bounced off of Shinji and landed a few feet away.
"Asuka...ugh...Asuka are you...all right?" he asked between gasps.
Asuka, rolling over on to her front, clutched at her ankle as she moved into a sitting position before turning to the young man.
"My ankle, I think I may have strained it, are you all right?" she asked, the pain etched across her face.
"I'm...I'm alright, my arms...arms a little sore is all-"
Shinji stopped suddenly as the intensity of the pain caused him to vomit; Asuka crawled slowly across the snow and placed a hand on Shinji's knee.
"We're nothing but trouble magnets aren't we Shinji?" She said tenderly, a pained smile spreading across her face.
Shinji, spitting the last of his sick out, turned his head and returned the smile. Standing up slowly, Shinji steadied himself against the tree that had saved them, breathing in and out slowly. After a few minutes making sure that he could move without being sick again, Shinji turned in Asuka's direction.
"I...think it's time we went home don't you?" he said calmly." If your ankle's too sore then I'll carry you."
"You are not carrying me anywhere, it's embarrassing!" she shrilled.
"There isn't anyone around here to see you though Asuka!?" said Shinji incredulously.
Kneeling in front of Asuka, his back to her, Shinji leaned his head to the side and smiled.
"Hop on."
"But what about your arm?" she said, concern evident in her voice.
"I can still move it so it isn't broken, I'll be able to carry you. Now stop trying to find excuses for me NOT to carry you and get on!"
"I feel stupid, like this." said Asuka
The trudge back to Misato's apartment was both difficult and painful for Shinji. Whilst his arm wasn't broken it still hurt to be holding Asuka they way he was, and the snow was so thick and deep that there were several occasions that Shinji thought he was going to fall over.
"Not much further now, I can come back for our stuff tomorrow." he said quietly
Asuka did not immediately answer Shinji, but when she did, it was an answer Shinji did not expect.
"Thank you...thanks Shinji for being honest with me, y'know from before...on the roof." she said, her arms tightening around Shinji's neck.
"It's okay." he said.
They continued in silence for a while, as Shinji found himself blushing; Asuka had rested her chin on his shoulder and her head against his own. Shinji could not help but feel happy at the physical contact. Asuka's thoughts were running along the same lines as Shinji's.
"His shoulders are broad, I've never noticed that, and he smells good. I thought that and I'm not even scolding myself for it, Humph, I really must be changing."
As the pain in her ankle began to ease, Asuka closed her eyes, hoping that she could drift off. Pressing her mouth and nose into Shinji's neck, Asuka continued to think, as her thoughts began to feel murky and disjointed, threatening sleep.
"This is what I want, tenderness and kindness. Not pain and sadness...I wish...that this ...could last..." Finally the young red head drifted off, as Shinji continued to traipse through the snow.
The faint smell of something sweet awoke Asuka from her sleep as heavenly warmth enveloped her. Realising she was wrapped up in blankets, Asuka snuggled herself into the sheets. Still feeling a little groggy from what was likely a short nap; Asuka covered her head with the blankets and tried to let herself slowly come to.
As Asuka lay there, a melodic tune echoed from the direction that Asuka assumed was the kitchen. It took a while for Asuka to remember the name of the tune, but when she did she called out.
"I didn't know you were into classical music Shinji, I thought it was J-pop that you were interested in." she said wryly.
"Hidden depths, Asuka" was all Shinji said, his voice coming from the kitchen.
As he finished silence descended on the apartment and as soon as it did, Asuka pulled her head from under the covers and called out.
"Don't stop!" she shouted."I like Ode to Joy too."
An embarrassed silence followed, from which Asuka knew Shinji was blushing, and humming once again filled the apartment as Asuka, smiled.
"I really do like it, and Shinji's humming is...well, soothing almost. Wait a second...what's that smell..." She thought.
Sitting bolt upright, Asuka began sniffing the air, as her eyes widened in disbelief.
"Is that what I think it is!?" she called out hungrily."Oh Shinji, it isn't is it...not hot chocolate!?"
"Yeah, I found some in one the cupboards, and we still had milk that was in date so I thought that you might like some."" he shouted
"But Misato always complained that if there was chocolate of any kind in the apartment, she'd eat it, or in this case drink it, then kill the person that brought it in." she said." She said that chocolate always went straight to her thighs...more like her breasts if you ask me."
The sound of giggling came from the kitchen, as Asuka stood up from the sofa. Walking into the kitchen, Asuka couldn't help but feel something was wrong. Looking at Shinji she realised that he was making hot chocolate the old fashioned way; heating the milk up in a pan. As she stared at the young teenage boy, Asuka realised what was wrong.
Her ankle was fine.
"Shinji...my ankle it's better!?" she cried incredulously.
"Yup and my arm too, I had pins and needles forever. You've been asleep for about 3 hours." he said smiling.
"What that hell is going on!" cried Asuka.
Shinji merely shrugged and continued to stir the hot milk. Asuka's expression became something beyond incredulous.
"And your just fine about it?" she shouted, her hands descending on her hips.
"Not really no, it must be something to do with Instrumentality." he said
"We can't just keep saying ""it's something to do with Instrumentality"" Baka Shinji, we have to find out what's going on!" she explained, imitating Shinji
"And how do we do that?" he said, laughing slightly.
"Well first we start of by...we...um...Don't you laugh at me BAKA!" she shouted.
As she finished, Asuka smacked Shinji across the back of the head, though not with the usual strength that she normally hit him with, and turned around, folding her arms, a blush spreading across her cheeks. Shinji, rubbing the back of his head, continued to smile as he stirred the milk.
"The answers will come to us Asuka, they always do, even if we don't want them to." he said.
Asuka, turning back around to face Shinji, stared at him, clearly puzzled by his statement.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
Shinji, lifting the pan from the cooker, began to pour equal amounts of milk into two mugs sitting on the kitchen table. Finishing, he turned to Asuka, his face almost melancholic.
"As long as we can get the heating and electricity fixed, I'd like things to stay as they are; I mean just me and you. I know that the world needs people and I miss our friends, but I like it being just the two of us, for now. I never realised before but I love being with you Asuka, its fun if anything else!" he said
Asuka was moved by what he said, and decided to express herself the only way she could.
"Baka." she said, punching him in the arm.
Rubbing his arm gently, Shinji replied, his expression turning to one of sadness.
"I mean, sooner or later we'll find out whets going on, but I just want to enjoy the peace and quiet that we have right now for a little while longer."
Picking up her mug, Asuka smiled, for the first time in Shinji's presence, the sweetest smile he had ever seen and grabbed his wrist.
"Come on over to the sofa you dork, and let's enjoy the peace and quiet together." she said.
As they took their seats, Asuka pulled the duvet around them both and rested her head, gingerly, against Shinji's arm. Shinji blushed at the contact and sipped from his mug.
They sat in a comfortable silence for a time, the only sound in the apartment being their sips. Asuka broke the silence first, turning her head upwards to face Shinji.
"Shinji...in...well...when Instrumentality was going on, when you were rejecting it...you created a world...an alternate reality I spose." she said calmly."One where we're childhood friends, where you're a lot different from the Shinji sitting next to me...I just wondered...why did you create that world and how many others did you create."
The question was definitely not one Shinji expected. At that point in time, Rei and Kaworu where trying to see whether or not Shinji truly desired for everyone in the world to die, if he truly desired to be alone. In the process of trying to persuade Shinji to love himself and to stop worrying about other's opinions of him, they gave him even more control than he had before. In the process, Shinji created a world where the Angels never attacked, where both his own mother and Asuka's mother were alive, a world where Rei was just a new goofy student and Asuka was his oldest and possibly closest, and friend. The Shinji of that world behaved more like what a normal teenage boy should behave like, in Shinji's opinion, and out of this Shinji consciously and sub-consciously created even more worlds.
"It was created to persuade to me to accept that I needed people and to help me to stop hating myself." he said, carefully choosing his words."As to how many other worlds were created, I don't know. I know that there's a world where we get married, a world where I initiate Third Impact when I'm fighting the 14th Angel and your names Shikinami instead of Soryu, a world where my dad's a total goofball, there's just so many Asuka, but this is certainly the original, I created those worlds subconsciously, I don't know what will happen in most of them, but I hope they end well."
"I hope so too." said Asuka."But Shinji...I saw all of those worlds too...in everyone we were all together in some way, shape or form. Me, you, the First Child, Misato, we were all together."
Shinji looked off into a dark corner of the room, his brow furrowing slightly.
"What's your point?" he said.
"I thought you would have wanted to be rid of all of us; i mean we all hurt one another, Shinji, in some way. I would have thought you would want a world without us." said Asuka, tightening her grip around Shinji's arm ever so slightly.
"Pain is as much a part of life as pleasure is Asuka, you guys made me happy as much as you hurt me. It was a part of life that I had to learn to accept." said Shinji.
Asuka, letting go of Shinji's arm, sat up and looked straight at Shinji. Feeling her keen stare, Shinji turned his head to face the young German girl and was surprised by the sight that met him. Asuka was staring right at Shinji, her sapphire blue eye's holding none of the harshness or arrogant traits that they used to; right now they were soft, almost sad looking.
"You've changed Shinji...and...a-a-nd I'm glad...it's given us the chance...the chance to make amends. Since Instrumentality, I don't feel the sheer amount of hate, vitriol and pain inside as much as I used to, and the fact that you're not how you used to be...well it's helped to make sure all of those things didn't come flooding back into me again. Thank you."
"You've changed to Asuka, I mean you'd never have been this open with me before." said Shinji.
As Shinji finished, Asuka flopped backwards onto the sofa and exhaled loudly. Silence descended upon the apartment as Shinji finished his hot chocolate before Asuka had even got halfway through her own. Yawning loudly, Shinji stretched his arms.
"I think I'm going to go to bed, it's pretty exhausting carrying you around Tokyo-3 for two days in a row." he said lazily.
Asuka, lifting her head from the sofa, turned in his direction with a keen stare.
"What are trying to say?" she said.
"I'm saying you're lot heavier than you look, Asuka." he said, a grin spreading across his face.
Jumping up from the sofa, Shinji ran around the table in front of him, as Asuka, who was blushing, jumped from the sofa waving her mug threateningly.
"Don't ever try to joke with a red head who's holding a scolding hot cup of hot chocolate Shinji, it might just cost you your life, Dummkopf!" she said seriously
"Why, I'm just stating a fact, are all skinny German girls as heavy as you are or should I say that your just "delightfully proportioned"." he said, the grin on his face widening.
Asuka, who had now placed her mug on the table, was blushing even more furiously than before. Lifting her foot up on top of the table, Asuka prepared to jump at Shinji, but, as she did her other foot caught on the table and she collided into Shinji, the two falling backwards onto the floor.
As Shinji hit the floor, he put his hands out instinctively and he could have sworn that he heard Asuka sigh. As Shinji opened his eyes, he was shocked at where his hands had managed to land.
His right hand was around Asuka's waist and his left hand was holding onto her breast.
"Shinji, you remember our conversation about Misato and chocolate. And do you remember where Ithought all of the chocolate went to?" she said calmly, a blush still prevalent upon her cheeks.
Shinji nodded his affirmation, his brow breaking out in a cold sweat.
"Well if you make any jokes at this particular moment in time, I kill you as simple as that!" she said, her voice still calm
It took a while, but Shinji eventually managed to pull himself out of the daze he was in and pulled his hand away quickly. This, however, did not remedy things as Asuka was still on top of Shinji and he had just pulled away the only support she had. Falling, both teenagers blushed furiously as they both realised that they're lips were only centre metres away from one another. Shinji, staring into Asuka's eyes, gulped as the red head stared right back, her expression nervous.
"Shinji..." said Asuka
The two teenagers continued to stare at one another for a time, as both of their minds raced.
"Should i kiss her? is...is this the right time to?" thought Shinji.
"Is it...right to do this now...no i don't feel ready yet."though Asuka.
Closing her eyes, Asuka sighed heavily and pressed her head onto Shinji's chest. Another few moments passed as the young red head listened to Shinji's heart race; Shinji himself was surprised by the continued proximity and his mind was begining to melt.
"I'm...i'm going to bed, you should to Shinji." said Asuka, her head still pressed against his chest.
Picking herself up, Asuka walked over to her bed on the floor and moved underneath the covers without saying a word. Shinji, watching Asuka move away, frowned slightly.
"Have i messed things up again?"
つづく
To Be Continued.