Emily's POV...
"I'm scared Em, I'm scared of falling in love again, I don't want to get my heart broken again."Spencer whispered into the quiet room. We hadn't really said anything since we came into the bedroom, we've just laid in bed curled up together. The vulnerability in her voice almost broke my heart. Spencer isn't one to admit when she's scared, she puts up her walls and trys not to let anyone in. She always gets hurt when she fully let's someone in. Her guard is always up even around our close group of friends. We hardly see her with her walls down.
Being a Hastings, she thinks she has to be strong like her parents, cold like them, cocky, intense and the best at everything, because thats how she was raised. What she doesn't get is, she's not like them, She cares about other people, not about what others think, she care for their feelings and she'll do everything she can to make sure they don't get hurt, even if she doesnt know them. She's one of the most caring people I know, so unlike her parents and sister.
I turned and wraped my arm around her waist pulling her into me. She grabbed a fist full of my shirt and pulled me closer, burying her face into my chest, trying not to cry. It kills her that she's been so weak, been vulnerable and has let her walls, that she works so hard to keep up crumble, this past week. "Spencer I'm not going to hurt you, like Alex and Sam, I'm not going to hurt you at all."I said kissing her head. She stiffens at Sam's name and shoots out of my arms.
"Don't say her name, I've tried so hard to forget the things she did to me and every time someone says her name, I get sucked back into that time in my life when I was at my weakest."She said through clenched teeth. She moved to the end of the bed and puts her head in her hands. I shouldn't have brough Sam up.
"Spence, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you." I said moving closer to her but she just moved away. She looked at me and noticed my hurt expressison and her face softens. She grabs my hand and kissed it before pulling me into her. "it's been three years but it still hurts, I haven't healed all the way."She said running her fingers through my hair.
I'm sure your wondering who Sam is right? Well it's not my story to tell, all I can say is that Sam, really messed Spencer up. She used Spencer and threw her away like she was nothing. Sam was Spencer's first love and Spencer gave her everything to Sam and Sam just walked away after taking everything Spencer had to give. She took Spencer's innocents and turned her into someone who slept around, just to feel loved.
"I lov- really like you Emily, and I just want to forget about my past and be with you." She said looking into my eyes. She was going to say love, that she loves me. We all know I love her, I was scared she wouldn't love me back but now I know she does. I can not express how happy that makes me. "I like you too Spence."I whispered.
"Of course you like me, I'm amazing and hot."She joked. And just like that Vulnerable Spencer was gone and replaced by Cocky Spencer. She's so much like a guy when it comes to feelings. She'll get everything off her chest then act like she never said anything, and will pretend to not know what your talking about if you bring it up.
I rolled my eyes at her and cupped her neck bringing her in for a kiss. Each kiss feels like the first kiss, different and new every time. I could never get tired of kissing her. I love the way her lips feel on mine, the way her fingers tangle in my hair or grab at my hips pulling me into her. "I could kiss you forever."She whispered against my lips, then brings me back in for another kiss. "I think I can live with that"
She moved her lips from mine and trailed kisses down my neck. She stopped when she got to my shirt and pulled it down before attacking the flesh underneath my bra. I moaned as she sucked on the top of my breast and bites down, marking me as hers. "Your going to leave a mark Babe."I moaned out as she ran her tongue over the flesh she had biten. She pulled back and smirked at me. "That's the point Em."She said repeating what I said to her Friday night, pressing her lips to mine once more.
We made out for awhile but stopped before things got too heated, we just started dating, I wasn't ready to take that step, I haven't even taken that step with Ben, and Spencer wasnt one to push or rush. She might have slept around but she never pushed the girls to do anything they didn't want too.
Spencer stood up from the bed and walked to the door. "What something to drink?"She asked opening the door. I shook my head yes and she left the room with a smile. I stood and made my way to the dresser, Spencer had put our clothes in. I pulled out her AC\DC shirt and a pair of her boxer. She'd go from dressing like a guy to a girly girl, whatever her mood was that morning. I undressed and slipped the boxer up my legs. I unhooked my bra and let it fall to the floor, as the bedroom door opened and Spencer dropped the bottles of water and movie that she was holding.
"God Emily I'm sorry, I didn't know you were changing."She rushed out, covering her eyes with her hand. "Spencer you've seen me naked before."I laughed pulling her shirt over my head. "You were just my best friend then Em."She whispered, still covering her eyes. I walked over to her and grabbed her hands, pulling them away from her face and smiling at her. "You look sexy in my clothes."She smiled, looking me up and down, her eyes turning a darker shade of brown.
I fought the urge to kiss her and picked up the things she dropped and moved back to the bed, laying down. "I see why everyone loves that shirt, shows off the right amount of skin."She smirked, her eyes slowly trailing over my expossed stomach. She walked to the dresser and pulled out the clothes I brought to sleep in. She didn't leave the room but slowly stripped in front of me. I bit into my lip and felt my eyes grow darker, yes I really felt them darken.
She pulled my sweat pants on then turned away from me, discarding her bra and slipping on my army t-shirt my dad gave me two years ago. She moved to the bed and grabbed the movie she had brought in.
After the movie was set up and she hit play, she turned the lights off in the room and climbed into bed next to me. I was laying on my side and Spencer threw her left arm over my body,pulling me into her more as we spooned and watched Monsters Inc. It's my favorite pixar movie, besides Finding Nemo. Yes I could be a kid sometimes when it comes to movies, I loved animated movies and horror movies. Spencer loved any movie based on true stories and any action movies. I'm surprised she didn't pick an action movie, she usually does.
We must have fell asleep some time during the movie, because next thing I know Hanna is busting into the room. "What the hell Han?"Spencer asked sitting up in bed. "Don't what the hell me Spencer, you two have to pack your stuff up, I have to be home in two hours and your my ride Spencer."Hanna said then turned on her heels and walked out the room. We slept a lot longer than I groaned and fell back on the bed. "I don't want to leave, let's just stay here forever." She said smiling up at me. God she's so cute.
"As much as I would love to stay here with you forever, we can't we have school tomorrow."I said leaning down and kissing her cheek. "screw school."She whined, pulling me on top of her. I really wish we could stay here forever, I don't want to leave her. "Did Hastings really say screw school?"Marissa asked from the door way. Marissa laughed at Spencer when she threw a pillow at Marissa's head but missed.
"Come Spencey get up, I love Hanna but I'm tired of hearing her bitch about being late to meet Caleb at the airport."Marissa said, picking up the pillow thrown at her and throws it at us. Spencer flips us over so the pillow hits her and not me. Not that it would have hurt if it did. "you have five minutes or I'm sending Hanna back in here."Marissa warned leaving the room. Spencer smiled down at me and kissed my cheek.
After getting dressed, Spencer and I start packing our clothes up. I put the AC/DC into her bag but she pulls it out. "Keep it, it looks better on you."She said putting it in my bag. "Its your favorite shirt Spence."I said and took the shirt out my bag and placed it back in hers. "I'll buy a new one, keep it Em really, it looks sexy on you."She said causing me to blush. She is the only person to ever call me sexy. "Let's go Spemily!"Hanna yelled from the living room.
"Spemily?"Spencer asked raising a perfect eyebrow at me. I shurgged and grabbed my bag, walking out the room, with Spencer right behind me. Spencer takes my bag from me and loads it into her Jeep along with everyone elses.
"Thank you for setting this up Spencer, you have no idea how greatiful I am."Ezra said and hugged Spencer. "Anything to make Shortie here happy."Spencer said bumping hips with Aria. "I'm not short."Aria whined. "Of course not Baby."Ezra said hugging Aria. The two got lost in their own world as they said goodbye, before Ezra headed back to North Carolina for his teaching job.
We moved away from them so they could be alone. "How come you can call her Shortie and we can't?" Hanna asked, leaning on Spencer's jeep. Spencer shrugged and pulled me into her arms, kissing the top of my head. My skin tingles and my heart races every time she touches me, it's somethng I don't think I'll ever get used too. We waved to Ezra as he got into his car and drove off. Aria walked over and pulled me out of Spencer's arms before hugging Spencer.
"Thank you Spencer, you have no idea how much this means to me."Aria said as Spencer
wrapped her arms around the shorter girl. "You would have done the same for me Ari."
We all piled in Spencer Jeep, Spencer and I in the front seat, Hanna, Aria And Marissa in the back, fighting over what kind of music to listen to. "Would you three shut up and just pick a CD."Spencer yelled backing out the driveway. I didn't want to leave the lake house, I didn't want to leave the place I could be myself at. I didn't want to go back home and hide my feelings for Spencer from my mom. I have to tell my mom I'm gay but I'm just too scared.
"Hey Spencer, I have a question."Hanna said from the back. Spencer raised her eyebrow at her in the rearview mirror. "Ask away Han."She said turning back to watch the road. "Have you ever had sex with a guy?"
Spencer sighed and rolled her eyes. "Yes I've had sex with a guy, I was drunk and it was six months after Sam broke up with me."Spencer said through clenched teeth, her knuckles turning white from her grip on the steeringwheel.
"What's better a guy or a girl?"Hanna asked completely unfazed by Spencer's change in attuide. Spencer slowed down and pulled the jeep over to the road, then shut the jeep off. She reached over me and opened the glove box, pulling a pack of cigarettes out along with a lighter. Spencer only smoked when she's really stressed, really mad or on the verg of a break down.
Spencer took a cigarette out of the pack, put in between her lips and lit it. She put her head in her hands after taking a long drag of the cigarette. "Girls are better, guys rush and only think of themselves. Girls give better oral sex, they know what you want because their a girl too, they know the right 'buttons' to push, their just all around better, if you really want to know Hanna then go have sex with a girl."Spencer said, staring out her window.
"I'm sorry I upset you Spencer, I didn't know it would."Hanna said laying a hand on Spencer's shoulder and kissing her cheek. Spencer gave her a small smile and started the jeep back up. She tossed her cigarette out the window and grabbed my hand in hers. We started the long drive back into town again. None of us saying much of anything.
We dropped Hanna and Aria off and are making our way towards Marissa's house which is a block from mine. "Thanks for the great weekend Spencer, I really needed to get away from my parents."Marissa said leaning in between Spencer and I. Spencer let go of my hand and patted Marissa's head."Any time Missa, you can always tell your parents your staying at my house for the week and then go over to Blake's, I'll cover for you."Spencer said and pulled into Marissa's driveway. "I might do that, later guys."She said getting out the jeep and getting her bag before heading inside.
"I don't want you to go."I whispered as we pulled up to my house. Spencer turned to me and kissed my hand. "I know baby, I don't want to go either."
I gave her a small smile and laid my head on my shoulder. "Stay please, my mom isn't home yet."
"Just for a little while."She said kissing the top of my head and getting out the jeep. She ran to my side and opened the door for me, bowing, much like she did the night we first kissed. She got my suitcase out the back of the jeep and took my hand, leading me inside.
She set my suitcase on the floor once we were inside. I push her against the wall and attack her lips with my own. She grinned into the kiss and laced her fingers in my hair, tugging me into her more. Her tongue runs across my bottom lip, acting for entrance, and who I am to deny her what she wants? Her tongue comes into contact with my own and we both moan.
I slide my hands down her back and cup her ass, pulling her closer. She groans when out center meet through our jeans. She pulls away from my lips and rest her forehead on mine. "Em, we have to stop, while I still have control."She whispered, her almost black eyes staring into mine. I don't want to stop, I want to kiss her and never stop. I could spend the rest of my life kissing her and doing nothing else.
I capture her lips once more and she cups the back of my neck, deepening the kiss. She flips us around and traps me against the wall and her body, not that I minded.
"What in the hell are you doing Emily!"
Oh fuck...
Cliff hanger ;) Haha I hate them but it had to be done, don't kill me. Okay so I want to thank everyone who has read and reveiw, everyone who has read and not reviewed, everyone who has followed my story and favorited. Thank you so much guys and girls :) it means a lot to me and makes me really happy. I hope y'all enjoyed this update, if not then I am sorry. Sorry for any mistakes. I'll try to update in a few days then again on Sunday
Questions... What do you guys think of Blake and Marissa? I want to make them a big part of the story but only if y'all like them.
And I'm thinking of having Spencer get a tattoo, because thier are hot ;) haha, what do you think she should get? I have a few in mind but I want to know what y'all think.
Last one... Is there anything in the story y'all don't like?
Feel free to send me a PM with your answers or just leave a reveiw.
Thank you guys again :) Until next time, have a great day :) Bye guys