Chapter 14

Lester's POV

I saw the ambulance lights before we reached the house. I got out and ran. The ambulance was about to pull away.

"Wait! Is it a woman? Where are you taking her?"

"Inova Fairfax Hospital," the EMT said. Then the ambulance sped away.

My heart was in my throat. I couldn't move for a minute. Steph.

I gave Margaret the groceries and headed to Inova Fairfax Hospital.

I called Justine and told them simply that something had happened.

I had never been so close to losing my shit. I knew something wasn't right when I left. I should have never left that house. Now Steph was headed to the hospital in that ambulance.

Stephanie's POV

I slowly woke up. That white ceiling, those lights, that smell. I'm in a hospital again. I looked around the room. There wasn't any one here. Then I remembered. I ran my hand over my stomach.

There was nothing there anymore. I was used to something being there. I felt this sorrowful wail coming from the pit of my stomach. Noooo! Oh Please, Nooo! I got up slowly out of the bed on wobbly legs and I made my way to the door. I made it to the doorway and collapsed. "Please someone tell me where is my baby?"

I was reaching out for help and I couldn't talk any more. I had no voice. Faces looked at me like I was insane. I was alone. I guess I deserved it. I didn't take care of the baby good enough. I didn't know but I was mumbling to myself and leaning against the door to my room with my arms out like a homeless person begging for my baby, grasping at the air, but no one could understand what I was asking for.

Lester's POV

I ran from the ward back to the room as fast as I could. When I walked in, the room was empty. I ran out into the corridor.

"Where is she?" I yelled.

One of the nurses came up to me. "She is being transferred to Northern Virginia Institute."

"Why?"

"She is suffering psychological trauma and possible dissociation."

"What?"

She had a break down here in the doorway. She wasn't able to speak and she was unresponsive. The doctor on the floor wrote orders to get her moved right away.

Oh, Steph, I'm so sorry I wasn't here. I let you down, I thought. I called Justine.

"Justine," I sobbed.

"Lester? Please talk to me son.

"They are taking her to Northern Virginia Institute, a psychiatric hospital. She must have woken up and I wasn't there. I think she knows about the baby."

"Lester, we're almost there but we'll head to the other hospital instead. Meet us there," Justine said.

We arrived at the hospital and waited for an hour. Finally a doctor came out and told us that we couldn't see Stephanie. He said she was non-communicative, not speaking at all and not making eye contact with anyone. Luke and Justine were holding hands and she was crying softly.

He said, "What can you tell me that can help us to treat her. We know that she went into pre-term labor and it couldn't be stopped and that she probably woke up realizing she wasn't pregnant any longer. I think what she experienced was a psychiatric break resulting from shock and trauma. I need to know about her history. Has she experienced other trauma recently? Was she under stress?"

I just kept sobbing into my hands. Justine put a hand on my back trying to comfort me.

Justine spoke, "Doctor, she and my son were close and she witnessed his death by shooting in late September. She became a partner in a large and successful company shortly after that. Her partner left on a military mission and she has had the weight of that responsibility and all those people on her. Then, she didn't have the support of either of the possible fathers to help her through the pregnancy. One had died and the other was in battle."

I spoke up then. "Someone she trusted cheated on her and another attacked her and scared and humiliated her before Justine's son died. She was trying to save a mother and a child with cancer today. I could tell something was wrong. She wasn't speaking right and she was weak. But, she still begged me to go take care of the mother."

Justine nodded. "Apparently before she called 911, she had called our friend Travis Parker about getting the child some help. She started a foundation in my son's name and they help autistic children."

The doctor's eyes were wide. "This woman has been through all this in a matter of just over six months?" We all nodded.

"I wasn't with her when she woke up. If I had been there…"

Justine took my hand. "No Lester, don't you blame yourself, son."

Ranger's POV

I rang the doorbell. I was nervous like a boy picking up his sweetheart for a first date. I couldn't wait to put my arms around my Babe and hold her. A man I didn't know opened the door.

"I'm Carlos Manoso and this is Tank and Bobby. I'm here to see…"

"I know who you are son. Come in. I'm Lucas Duncan." We shook hands.

He turned and I followed him to the living room. Justine and Lester were sitting on the sofa holding hands and crying. Bing and Trigg were standing by the fireplace with tears in their eyes.

I spoke, "What is going on? Where is Stephanie?"

Lester looked up at me with rage and anger in his eyes. "You selfish, self centered coward! You want to dominate someone? Dominate me, mother fucker!" The he came at me with both fists clenched and tears in his eyes.

Tank and Bobby lunged at him right when he went to throw the first punch. He was growling and panting like an animal and throwing daggers at me with his eyes. Bobby finally said, "Lester, you either calm down now or I'll sedate you."

Tank growled, "Lock it down Santos right now! We need to talk."

Justine stood up. "Boys, Lester, please calm down. We do need to talk."

I said again, "Where is Stephanie?"

"She is in the hospital Carlos."

"What happened? Is she going to be okay? Is the baby okay?"

Every one just stared at me. "Please tell me," I begged.

I looked at Justine. "She is not alright and she is no longer pregnant."

I was stunned. "I want to go to her. Where is she?"

"You can't see her and she can't talk to you. She won't know you."

"What do you mean?"

"She's in a psychiatric hospital."

"What? What the hell happened here?"

Lester said in a voice I've never heard, "What happened is that a good woman has been suffering with the weight of every one's pain and shit and responsibility all by herself for seven months; she has been hurt by the people she loved and trusted the most. All she has done is try to help other people and make other people smile. She took over your company like a protective mother and she did more than good, she did great. She never thought of herself. Even to the end she was trying to help someone else!" He sobbed.

He said, "She's not with us any more. She's gone now Ranger. There's no more light in her beautiful blue eyes."

Tears started rolling down my face. "Oh dear God, what have I done?"

Every person in the room was crying. I looked at the men that I had been in battle with, tears falling and big chests shaking.

Justine spoke softly. "Boys you have all just learned something today. Those tears that are falling can wash away your darkness. A brothel or a pill is just a temporary solution. It's the tears that are the redemption. You cry for the ones you lose and the horrible things you see and hear. Then you come home and you thank your God that you have someone to come home to. Real men do cry and my John learned this the hard way, too. He suffered loss before he learned to let the pain go."

"Now, we are not going to fight. You forgive yourselves and forgive each other. We have two that are suffering and they need our love to pull through this."

I looked up. "Two?"

She nodded. "Come, we can all go. We're going to Inova Fairfax Hospital. We're going to the maternity ward."

Every one of us got into cars and followed Justine and Lucas to the hospital. Lester glared at me and got in with Bing and Trigg.

When we arrived, Justine stopped at the nurses' station on the ward and spoke to one of the nurses. "We're waiting for Dr. Jenkins and the pediatrician on duty."

In about half an hour both doctors came to meet us. Every one shook hands. Justine said, "We would all like to see the baby and could you both tell us what happened?"

Dr. Jenkins spoke first. "I'm very sorry about Stephanie. When she came in we tried to stop the birth but were unsuccessful. We tested her for the normal medical reasons for pre-term birth. I think that severe emotional stress caused this especially after what happened when she woke up." I winced.

The pediatrician spoke then. "The fetus had just entered the eighth month of gestation. It's an important month because it's when the lungs and organs finish developing so that it can live outside the womb. The baby is tiny, less than four pounds, and is struggling to breathe. We have given the necessary drugs to speed development. We just have to wait. We are doing every thing that we can.

I'll have the nurses push the incubator to the window in the baby ward. Follow me."

We waited at the window, all of us silent. A nurse came through a door pushing a little baby incubator toward the window. When she stopped I was stunned.

"You don't deserve her and you especially don't deserve this gift," Lester spat. Then he walked away.

There lay a tiny little baby. Small enough to just fit in my hand. It was a boy just two shades lighter than my own skin. He was my son. Tears started falling again and my heart felt like it was growing in my chest to allow for all the love and emotion that was filling me.

Justine took my hand, "As much as I wanted him to be a part of my John, this baby is here for a reason. I think this baby will heal much pain and many broken hearts. I have no doubt he'll make it. He is here so that all of us can go on living."

Just then the pediatrician walked up. "Are one of you the father?"

I nodded. "He's going to be a handsome baby. His eyes are closed now, but they are the brightest blue." He patted me on the shoulder. "One day at a time son." Then he walked away.

TBC