Helpless

(Chapter Eight: Hidden Desires)

Elliot parked the car as they walked in to the front desk to get their rooms. Olivia stood looking at the newspaper stand with the coverage of the murders and the funerals as they waited behind another customer. The little town was actually about a half hour drive outside of Seattle and only had one motel.

"We need two rooms for the night, please. Nonsmoking if you have them," Elliot said as he tapped his credit card on the desk in front of him.

"Actually, I don't sir."

"Oh umm, smoking is alright then. I guess."

"No, sir. I mean I don't have two rooms available. The mayor's daughter is getting married this weekend and between that and the funerals," the woman pointed to the newspaper stand. "I have one room left. It's your's if you want it."

"A double?"

"Single, king. But it is nonsmoking."

Elliot turned to look at Olivia. She looked exhausted and it had been a very long and traumatic day for her.

"You wanna just head on into Seattle?" Elliot looked at his watch. "We could be there by ten o'clock their time. Of course, that is one o'clock our time."

"I don't care. It's up to you. I'm just tired and really need a shower. At this point I could probably sleep in the car."

"Do you have a Seattle phone book?" Elliot asked the girl. "I can call ahead and make a reservation so we know we have rooms when we get there."

"You know what, El? This is fine. We are only going to be here for a couple of hours anyway. We're leaving early in the morning. Let's just get some rest."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, this is fine." Olivia picked up the card key in her hand.

"We'll take it. Can we get an extra blanket and some towels?"

"Sure. Here's your receipt and I need you to sign right here." The girl walked in to the back and brought out a blanket, a stack of towels and some little body wash and shampoo bottles. "Your room is on the second floor half way down, by the ice machine."

"Thank you," Olivia replied with a smile. That was the first time he had seen her smile all day.

Elliot pulled the car around by the stairs and parked. He grabbed their bags from the trunk as Olivia carried the blanket and towels the desk clerk had given them. She climbed the stairs and opened the door to the room.

"It is actually a lot better than I expected," Elliot replied closing the door behind them.

"At least it's clean."

"Well, it isn't the Four Season's. But it isn't exactly the Bates Motel, either." He sat their bags down and looked around the room. "I'm starving. Are you hungry? We have not eaten anything all day."

"I'm fine," she said softly digging through her bag for clothes to sleep in.

Elliot pulled the phone book from the nightstand and began to flip through it.

"There's a pizza place. You feel like pizza?"

"I'm not really hungry."

"Liv, you should eat something. Not pizza. Here is a diner. The address is just down the street. I could call in an order and go pick it up while you take a shower."

Olivia nodded her head slowly. She knew he wasn't going to give up until he actually saw her eat something.

"You want a burger and fries?" Elliot asked as he dialed the number and placed the phone to his ear. "Yes, I need to place a carry out order. Do you have any specials?"

Elliot listened to the girl speak for a few minutes as he watched Olivia move around the room.

"They have a grilled chicken sandwich, Liv."

"Umm, just a salad. Fat free ranch dressing on the side, no onion and a iced tea if they have it."

Elliot repeated Olivia's order to the girl on the phone and added his burger and fries and chocolate milk shake.

"It will be ready in about fifteen minutes," Elliot said hanging up the phone. "I think I'm gonna go ahead and go. I'll gas up the car tonight so we are ready to head out in the morning. Do you want anything else?"

"No, I'm good."

"Hey," he said smiling at her from across the room, "you okay?"

"Just tired."

"It's been a rough day. I'm sorry that sheriff made us go through the house again. I'm sure you could have done without that."

"He's just trying to catch the guys who did it Elliot."

"I know, but it is still kind of tough to see."

"I'll be fine. I just need a hot shower and a good night's sleep."

"Yeah," Elliot said staring into her eyes. "I'm gonna run pick up the food. I'll be back in a little bit." Elliot smoothed his hand over her shoulder and headed out the door.

Olivia took a hot shower and felt a little better. She slipped on a tee shirt and a pair of pajama pants and walked out to sit on the bed. Moments later Elliot returned with their food. After about four bites of salad, Olivia threw the container away and went to brush her teeth. Elliot was starting to worry. She had been so quiet all day and now she wasn't eating either. He knew she was probably just upset over the funeral and she had every right to be. But it still worried him to see her like this.

Elliot tossed the extra blanket and a pillow from the bed into the chair in the corner of the room and pulled the foot stool closer. "You can have the bed," he said as she walked back in from the bathroom to put away her tooth brush. "I'll just crash in the chair."

"Elliot, that's ridiculous. We're both adults. It's a king sized bed, I am sure we will be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. If you sleep in that chair your neck and back are all sore and cramped up. We have a three thousand mile car trip ahead of us. Just, get in the bed." She pulled the blankets back and slid aside.

Elliot laughed and tossed his pillow back on the bed. He climbed into the bed and settled into his pillow then turned out the light.

"Goodnight, Liv."

"Goodnight," she said with a yawn.

Sometime in the early hours of morning he heard he whimper and opened his eyes. Olivia had moved in against his body and curled into him. She made another noise and Elliot felt her jerk against him.

"Olivia," he said softly gliding his hand slowly down her arm. She mumbled something he couldn't make out. "Liv, wake up."

Her eyes fluttered open to stare into his and he could see tears rising in them.

"It's okay. You were having a bad dream. But you're safe here."

She blinked for a moment and stared at him.

"Elliot," she gasped trying to catch her breath.

Elliot placed his hand gently on the side of her face.

"I'm right here, Liv. It's okay now."

He raised up his arm and she moved in to rest her head against his chest. Elliot wrapped her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. He pulled the blankets in around her and combed his fingers through her hair.

"I just can't believe she is really gone," Olivia said softly. "You read about things like this or see them in horror films. They don't happen to people you know," she whispered softly. "I keep seeing her face. Her laying there in the kitchen floor, covered in blood. I still hear her cries and hear her scream sometimes in my dreams. I hid," she sobbed. "Kate was downstairs being murdered and I was hiding in the closet."

"We didn't have a choice, Liv. We were unarmed. If we had tried to stop them, they would have killed us, too."

"I know. But I still feel so guilty. Like I let her down. She must have been so afraid. They were supposed to be married in two days. And Kate told me they wanted to start trying for a baby right away. They had so much life ahead of them. And now it's just gone."

"Do you believe what that sheriff said about her father's stealing money from the company?"

"I don't know. I have known her family for a while and they seemed like honest people.

"If he had been stealing money from his company all of these years and they found out about it, that would give good motive."

"For him, maybe. But the entire family?"

"I don't know. That does seem a little much. They killed the family in front of him. His wife and daughter and future son in law. They made him watch as each of them was murdered. That sounds a personal. Like a vendetta. Not about a robbing the safe for a few jewels and bonds. I mean think about it. We had all been gone from the house all day. If it were a robbery, why not go in while everyone was gone. No witnesses, much cleaner. And look at the house. Thousands of dollars in art work and antiques. Kate and her mother both had jewelry that wasn't locked up. Those thieves would have gotten a lot more if they had hit the house during the day while everyone was away. Unless it wasn't about robbery."

"You think they went there with the intention of murdering the family?"

"Or maybe they really were looking for something in particular. Something of great value. Something they thought would be locked up in that safe. They made him unlock it. Then they shot him immediately. By then it was too late to ask him where it was hidden, whatever it was, because they had already killed him. So they took the stuff from the safe to stage a robbery."

"That makes sense. But what do you think they were looking for?"

"I have no idea."

Olivia yawned again.

"We should try to get some sleep. Liv, what would you say to sticking around another day. Just to check a few things out."

"You want to try to work this case?"

"It just seems like these deputies cant find their asses with both hands. As long as we stay out of their way and don't step on any toes, they wont even notice we're here."

"You know that by now Cragen and Casey have probably figured out that we're gone. They are liable to have both our jobs when we get back."

"For what? Going to a friend's funeral?"

Olivia smiled.

"You really are asking for trouble."

"I just want this case to be closed. I don't want their murders to go unpunished. I want to make sure that Kate and her family get justice."

"Thank you, Elliot."

"For what, sweetheart?"

"For being here. For understanding. For helping me out. Sometimes we think so much alike it is creepy. I have been laying here trying to think of a way to tell you that I wanted to stick around and look into the case. Now here you are asking me if I would mind."

"Great minds, I guess."

Olivia smiled.

"I have missed that."

"What?"

"Your smile," he said brushing a few strands of hair from her eyes. "You haven't smiled much lately. I guess you haven't had much reason to."

"I have just had so much on my mind. With everything that is going on…"

"It has been a very tough time for you lately."

"But it helps having you here."

"Olivia, I would do anything for you."

"I know," she whispered. She exhaled softly and stared into his eyes.

"And I don't think that night was a mistake."

Olivia just stared at him.

"I have feelings for you. Very deep and very real feelings. I'm not going to pretend that we weren't moving a little too fast. But I don't for a second regret making love to you that night. I'm crazy about you, Liv. I have been for as long as I can remember."

"Elliot, I just don't think that this is a good time. Not with everything that is going on now. I need my friend."

"Honey, do you think that if we have a romantic relationship I can't be here for you as a friend, too?"

"It just complicates things, Elliot."

"Not if we don't let it."

He smoothed his thumb over her jaw line and stared into her eyes. Elliot longed to kiss her, to love her the way had did that night. But not until she allowed him to.

"El," she whispered raising up a little in the bed.

"Olivia," he said softly his mouth hovering just above hers.

Their faces were so close their noses brushed gently against each other. Then it happened. Olivia leaned forward just enough for their mouths to touch only for a second. Elliot shifted so that she was laying across his chest then leaned in and placed a soft kiss against her lips. Olivia deepened the kiss as she slid her tongue into his mouth.

They moved slowly and confidently. Touching and kissing and caressing until their clothes were piled in the floor beside the bed. She laid naked wrapped up in his arms and they were about to make love once more.

Olivia placed her head against his bare chest and listened to the sound of his heart beat. Elliot closed his arms around her and just held her for a minute.

"We don't have to go any further," he said kissing her forehead. "We could just spend the night like this. I could just hold you and wake up in the morning with you in my arms. Take things slow this time. I don't want you to regret it, Olivia."

She raised her head and stared into his eyes. "I don't," she said softly as she leaned in and kissed him again. "I thought I did. But I was wrong. I was afraid and I panicked. I'm not afraid anymore. Ignoring this, whatever it is between us, doesn't make it go away. I love you, Elliot."

"I love you too, baby. And after seeing how quickly things can be over. After almost losing you…Olivia do you realize how lucky we are?"

"Yeah. I do."

"I don't want to hold back anymore. I want a relationship with you. You and I, no more excuses."

Olivia nodded her head.

"Okay," she agreed. "Elliot," she said kissing him tenderly.

"Yes, Liv."

"Make love to me," she mumbled against his mouth with a shy smile.

Elliot rolled her over and laid her body against the bed as he stared into her eyes. He kissed up under her neck and smoothed his hand up her thigh. Olivia moaned softly at his touch. He kissed a trail of baby kisses across her collar bone and moved down until he disappeared under the blanket.

"Elliot," she said as she moved her knees together and raised the blanket to look at him. "Not like that. Not now."

"Okay," he said softly as he began to kiss a trail back up her body and around the curve of her breast until finally he had made his way back to her mouth.

"I just…I just want it slow," she moaned as he kissed her.

Elliot stopped for a minute to look into her eyes.

"Like it was before," she whispered.

Elliot nodded and lowered his body one hers. He kissed her neck and mouth tenderly until she began to moan. "Just tell me when you're ready," he breathed against her ear.

Olivia moaned softly and laughed. "I'm ready," she said as their eyes met and she smiled.

Elliot shifted in the bed as raised her knee and she felt him enter her body. Olivia moaned softly as he began to move inside her. She wrapped one arm around his neck and used her other hand to caress up and down his back. She closed her eyes for a moment to focus on his touch and the way he felt inside her. She smiled and moaned a little as she listened to the moaning sounds he made.

Elliot stared deep into her eyes and kissed her tenderly. They made love for well over an hour and he held her as he brought her through several small orgasms. He shifted in the bed again and stared into her eyes as he began to move a little faster and harder inside her. He tipped her head back and kissed under her chin as she clawed up his back and he could tell she was ready.

Olivia's moans seemed to draw longer and closer together.

"Look at me baby," Elliot whispered as she opened her eyes. He brushed his nose against hers and combed his fingers through her hair. Elliot kissed her passionately and traced her jaw line with his fingertips as they finished together.

Elliot rolled over on his back in the bed and reached to pull her in next to him. Olivia kissed his chest as she traced the muscles there with her fingertip. Kissed him tenderly then laid her head gently against his chest. Elliot pulled the blankets up around them as he closed his arms tight around her and kissed the top of her head.

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

She tipped her head back to look up at him. "I am so glad that you decided to come back here with me."

"Yeah, me too."

Olivia laughed. "I don't mean because of this. I mean because I don't know how I could have gone through any of this without you.

"There was no way I would have let you come back here and go through all of this on your own."

He hugged her tight and kissed her lips.

"Try to get some rest, honey. Tomorrow we'll see if we can find any leads."

"Okay," she whispered softly with a yawn as she nestled in against him for the night.