Chapter 12

Rose led the way into the cafe, her heart beating wildly. She'd managed to calm herself down as they had walked out and she was beginning to regret her outburst. He'd had more than enough right to know and she'd hurt him by lying about it. She stared off blankly, trying desperately to find something to say. The Doctor rested a hand on her arm, the touch startling her out of her thoughts.

"Do you want a cuppa?" he asked softly. She nodded, looking around the room for a table. Spotting one in the corner and she went to sit down while the Doctor ordered for them. The window opposite her opened out into the street, giving her a view of the people that rushed by; she tried to guess where they were going, judging them by their clothes and walk. Few of them paid any heed to their surroundings, meaning only to get to their destination as fast as they could. The Doctor quietly placed a mug in front of her and sat down; he looked so desperately sorry and still so hurt. Rose clenched her jaw as he opened his mouth to speak.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Jack." he said, looking hesitantly at her. "After...after I regenerated it was something I tried to forget, but then I met him again when I was traveling with Martha."
"Why did you try to forget him?" Rose looked up and met his eyes. She thought she knew already, could feel it when she realized Jack had the Vortex in him. She relaxed slightly as he tried to find the words he needed; she'd forgiven him long before they'd even walked inside, but that fact that he was opening himself to her was endearing.
"Jack became more than immortal, he became a fact in time. That's never supposed to happen, it's wrong." He looked back down at his own mug. "In the moment it happened I could feel it, he goes against my very nature, so I left him..."
"And you saved me." Rose finished. He nodded, his grip tightening on his cup.

"You remember." he stated numbly, making failed attempts to not worry. All he could feel was the terror that he'd felt watching her stand before him, with the power of the Vortex taking over her. He had been so afraid that he would lose her, after all she had done for him. She'd cared enough to do the impossible and come back, at the risk of her own life, to protect him. Rose nodded gently and looked away, training her focus on the people coming in.
"It was my fault, wasn't it? I did it to him." she pressed her lips together and looked back down, trying not to look at him. The guilt she felt overwhelmed her; she knew what it felt like, to know that there was nothing to live for and yet there was no relief in death. She wouldn't have wished it on the Daleks, let alone Jack. The Doctor touched her hand lightly.
"You did it because you cared for him and you couldn't control it. He doesn't blame you." he said softly. Tears welled in her eyes as she remembered her first Doctor, grinning at her with his mad ears.
"I killed you, and I cursed him." she took a breath and looked down, trying to compose herself.
"I took the Vortex out of you knowing that I was going to regenerate. I wasn't going to watch you die." he replied urgently. He hoped she knew that he'd do it over again, so long as he wouldn't lose her again. The pain of all of his fears all coming true was something he was still coping with. Rose held up a hand and gold swirled around it, matching the glow that appeared in her eyes.

"I don't think you got all of the Vortex." she said quietly. The gold swirled between them, dancing on the currents of air; light and cheery, the gold flicked toward him before vanishing into the atmosphere.
"It's impossible." he breathed, fear coursing through him again. "It should have killed you."
"A long time ago, Blon Fel Fotch looked into the heart of the TARDIS and she became an egg. You said you thought the TARDIS could translate all kinds of thoughts and that's why the TARDIS gave her a second chance." His eyes widened as he remembered. She took a deep breath and continued. "I think she did the same for me. I came back because I didn't want you to be alone, and she made sure you weren't going to be."
The Doctor didn't respond, his eyes still transfixed on the gold before him. Hope and anxiety battled within him, as the implication of her words began to sink in. What did this mean? Was she like Jack? Would she be able to die? Why would she wish this on herself? He still had so many questions to ask, and he sat back feeling slightly overwhelmed. Rose smiled faintly at him, sensing his confusion.
"At least you won't have to worry about me being stabbed or poisoned or anything." she said lightly. His eyes snapped to hers.

"I'll always worry about you." he said solemnly. Rose's smile grew and she took a sip of her tea. The Doctor gave a dramatic sigh. "Well...this is new. When we get back to the TARDIS I want to run a couple of tests, just to see how you've changed and I want to make sure you're ok." Rose winced and shook her head,
"No tests, please, not yet." she looked up at him. "Pete's Torchwood already discovered enough, I don't need to know any more." His eyebrow shot up and he frowned.
"What did they do?" he asked, leaning forward. His voice became dangerously low and she shook her head at him.
"That isn't important." she replied reaching across and taking his hand.
"It's important to me, I don't want to see you hurt." he replied.
"I know." she smiled at him. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner..."
"We've been busy." he grinned and she bit her lip, grinning back.
"Always are, and I wouldn't have it any other way." he stood suddenly, still holding her hand, and came around the table, pulling her out of her seat.
"What say, for a couple hours we stop being busy and I give you a tour of the town and you can tell me all about new new Rose?" He asked excitedly, his eyes twinkling with excitement. Rose swung their hands and nodded.
"Yeah, I think I'd like that." she replied. The Doctor tugged her hand and pulled her out the door.
"Rose Tyler, meet the original New York City."