Chapter 10 - (rated M for explicit language/situations)

Saturday morning, Miranda and Andrea had an appointment with Miranda's therapist. Andrea was a little anxious, knowing that this person probably knew Miranda better than anyone. She tried to convince Miranda that they should select a therapist from the list Dr Weber provided specifically for coping with cancer and its aftermath, but Miranda's glare said it all: any therapist was better than no therapist, and Miranda was not interested in sharing her feelings with a stranger.

"The girls have a dance competition upstate this weekend," Miranda said, reading a text message. "I told them good luck and to send us pictures."

"That's nice," Andrea said, pulling their coats from the closet. Andrea helped Miranda into hers before putting on her own and tying the belt.

"Does this hat look okay?" Miranda asked. It was quite cold that day, the wind chill as low as 20º F, and she knew she needed more than a silk scarf on her head. Miranda stood in front of the mirror, adjusting the navy blue Burberry silk scarf tied underneath her wool hat.

"Yes, Miranda," she said, standing behind her, wrapping her arms around her waist. "It looks perfect. Now let's go."

Miranda followed Andrea out the door and into the waiting car. Once they were situated and the car began moving, Miranda spoke. "Are you nervous, Andrea?"

"A little. You?"

"Yeah. I mean, I know it's only helpful if you're completely honest, but I've never done this with someone else." Miranda reached over and took Andrea's hand. "I don't want to scare you away with my insecurities."

Andrea chuckled and turned to face the woman. "Sweetheart, I've been dealing with your insecurities since February, and nothing is going to scare me away at this point. But," she added, taking Miranda's face in her hands, "I'm still a little nervous that if I'm honest with you, you'll draw away from me."

"Never," Miranda said, pulling Andrea in closely for a hungry kiss.

"Mirandaaa," Andrea moaned, pushing her away, "You're going to ruin our makeup."

"I suppose," Miranda pouted. "But can we continue where we left off after our appointment?"

"You bet," Andrea said as the car came to a stop in front of the therapist's office.

"Miranda, it's been years. You look wonderful!" she said.

"Grace," Miranda said as a general smile crossed her face, "Lovely to see you again." She leaned in and exchanged air-kisses with the older woman while Andrea stood near the door. "Grace, I'd like you to meet Andrea Sachs, my—uh—my…?" Miranda paused in frustration. Andrea was technically her assistant, but they were here together for more personal reasons.

"And I suppose that is exactly what we're here to talk about," she said, taking Andrea's hand warmly. "Hello, Andrea, I'm Dr Grace Cullerton, and I'm delighted to meet you."

"Likewise," Andrea said, shyly shaking her hand.

"Why don't you two hang your coats and I'll get something to drink—sparkling water okay?" They both nodded as Miranda handed her coat to Andrea to hang on the hooks near the door. Both women set their bags on the small bench underneath the coat hooks, and walked into the rather large room where Grace was pouring water. A fireplace in the corner and several eclectic vintage armchairs gave the room a homey feel. "Miranda, Andrea, why don't you each take a seat, she said, gesturing the the array of chairs near the fire.

Andrea wondered if she purposely chose to not have a sofa before realizing how inappropriate it would be to cuddle with Miranda right now.

"Okay, ladies, let me just remind you that anything said within this room is held in strictest confidence by me, and should be private amongst yourselves, too. Now, I want this all to be really informal, but we're still going to try to take turns speaking so everyone has a fair chance, yada, yada, yada. Do either of you have any questions before we begin?"

"No," Andrea said. Miranda shook her head as well.

"Okay, wonderful. There's a pitcher of water behind you if anyone needs a sip of water at any point. Now, Miranda, it's been a while. What brings you here today?"

"Well, uh," Miranda said, nervously looking over at Andrea, then back at Grace. "I was diagnosed with breast cancer in February and I took the past nine months off work for my treatment." When Grace didn't respond, Miranda kept talking. "I had a mastectomy and reconstruction, then chemotherapy. Now, I have a few herceptin infusions to go through, but then I'm good. I mean, cancer-free."

Grace nodded. "How has cancer impacted your everyday life, Miranda?"

"Well, the girls—my daughters, Caroline and Cassidy—are currently living with their father and his wife. I haven't been keeping in touch with them much, but saw them for the first time in months just two days ago. I miss them. I don't want to miss out on these years as they grow into adults, but I didn't want them to see me like this…the way Andrea has had to see me."

"Tell me a little more about that," Grace said.

"Well, I have been sick…weak. I couldn't do it alone. If it wasn't for Andrea, I don't know what…" Miranda said as tears began streaming down her face. Andrea reached over to a small side table and handed a tissue to Miranda.

"Andrea," Grace said, "tell me a little about yourself."

"Uh, I'm Miranda's assistant at Runway, and I've been working for her for nearly two years." Grace urged her to continue, so she did. "I came from a small family in Ohio, where my parents still live. My sister is a few years older than me, and she lives in Boston."

"What is your relationship with Miranda?" she asked.

Both Miranda and Andrea looked at Grace, wide-eyed. "Uh, I'm her assistant, like I said," Andrea stammered.

"Anyone can see there's something else," Grace said.

"I, uh, I've been staying with her and taking care of her. I care about her a lot." Andrea paused for a minute. "I love her," she said.

Miranda looked over and smiled sweetly at Andrea.

"Sometimes," Grace said, "we disguise other feelings as 'love,' especially when caring for someone."

"No. I mean, I know, but that's not it," Andrea clarified. "I began to care about Miranda long before her cancer diagnosis. It wasn't until we began spending more time together and had the opportunity to speak casually that I truly fell in love."

"Miranda? What is your relationship with Andrea?" Grace asked.

"Well, she's my assistant. My friend. My nurse. My lover," Miranda said with smirk. "I love her very much."

"So, it seems like you two don't need me then, huh?" Grace asked with a wry smile.

"I'm afraid Andrea will stop loving me," Miranda suddenly blurted out. "I mean, if I get better, if I go back to work and become obsessed with work again."

"Okay," Grace said, "What makes you think that?"

"She's perfect, always waiting on me, scheduling my appointments and making sure I take all my medicine, drink water, eat protein. I don't know what we would talk about if I wasn't sick."

"Surely you have more in common than your illness," Grace said. "When—not if—you get better, will Andrea continue to stay at your home?"

"I would like her to, but I cannot justify it. And then, it is unprofessional and irresponsible for me to be living in the same house as my assistant under normal circumstances," Miranda said.

"Miranda," Andrea interrupted, "Am I still going to be your assistant when this is over?"

"I, I don't know. I know we can't have this and you be my assistant, but I don't want to send you elsewhere, either," Miranda said.

"Miranda, was there ever a time in your life that you had someone by your side all day, everyday?" Grace asked.

"No. I mean, not until now."

"Have you ever wanted someone with you all day every day?" Grace asked.

"No. Never. I like having time to myself," Miranda said.

"When do you have time to yourself now?"

"Well," Miranda said, thinking, "I guess when I shower and get ready for the day. Otherwise, I'm with Andrea."

"What would you say if Andrea wanted to, I don't know, shower and get ready with you? Would that be alright?" Grace suggested.

"Uh, no, I just need time to be alone and that's the only time I can lock the door and be alone," she said, honestly.

"So, it sounds like you want to spend time with Andrea, but you don't want to spend every hour of the day with her. And that's not a bad thing, you've always been that way, and you just need some 'me' time, is that right?"

"Yeah, I guess," Miranda said.

"So what if you think about going to work as your 'me' time?" Grace suggested. You'll have some sort of morning routine, time alone in your office, and then when you return in the evening, time with Andrea."

Miranda took a deep breath. "I guess that could work."

"Okay, now Andrea," Grace said, "How do you feel about this?"

"I want whatever Miranda wants," Andrea said.

"I don't think so. Wants are personal. What do you want?" Grace asked.

"I want Miranda to be happy. If that arrangement makes her happy, then it works for me," Andrea said. "I guess I have been hovering a little bit."

"That I'm afraid once she goes back to work she won't need me anymore. That I'll slip into the background like her former husbands," Andrea said, fixing her eyes anywhere but on Miranda.

"Oh, darling, never," Miranda said, reaching over to put her hand on the armrest of Andrea's chair.

"What you say now and what you do in six months can be two different things," Andrea said. "I wish it wasn't that way."

"Okay," Grace said, "it sounds like, Andrea, you're looking for some kind of commitment from Miranda? And Miranda, you said earlier that you were worried Andrea would leave you once you got better…"

"Miranda—"

"Andrea—" they both spoke at the same time. "Andrea, I can promise you. We can figure it out."

"I know," Andrea said, "we will," she said.

"Well, ladies, our time is up for today, but I think we made remarkable progress for our first session," Grace said. "Be well, Miranda, Andrea," she said, as the two women stood and left the office. Andrea sent a quick text message to Roy as they approached the waiting car, asking him to drive them around the park for an hour or so.

"Miranda, I'm glad we did this today," she said. "Now, where were we before?" she said, wrapping her arm around the woman and pulling her close.

"I think I was kissing you," Miranda said as she climbed on Andrea's lap and pushed her back so she was laying flat on the seat. "If I'm going to be spending less time with you everyday, I think we need to be a little more active during the time we have," she said as she untied Andrea's coat, nuzzling her neck and palming her breasts as she tore her blouse open.

Andrea moaned and pulled Miranda's coat off, cupping Miranda's ass through her pleated, knee-length, leather skirt. "Did I tell you how hot you looked this morning?" Andrea said, slipping her hands under Miranda's skirt, feeling the tops of her thigh-high stockings before reaching her silky-smooth thighs. "Oh goooodddd," Andrea moaned as Miranda took her nipple in her mouth. "Miranda…please…oh god…suck me," she panted as Miranda began grinding her hips against Andrea's.

Her fingernails dug into Miranda's ass as she held the woman close. Miranda met Andrea's gaze, her eyes hooded with desire. As she looked deeply into Andrea's deep siena orbs, Andrea's tongue slowly crept out and danced across her upper lip as she twisted her hand and plunged her finger into Miranda's wet folds, pushing aside the wet cotton fabric.

"Fuuuuuck!" Miranda cried, releasing Andrea's nipple. The sudden movement of the younger woman's cold fingers inside her took Miranda's breath away as she panted, struggling to keep her eyes open and locked with Andrea's.

"Miranda, you're so gorgeous like this," she said as she pumped her fingers in and out of the older woman, paying special attention to her clitoris as she dragged her thumbnail across it. "Let go…come for me," Andrea whispered. With her free hand, she wrapped her arm around Miranda's waist and held her close as the woman arched her back, her hips meeting Andrea's thrusts in a colossal rhythm.

Miranda's moans were growing shrill as Andrea felt her muscles pulsing within. Tiny beads of sweat dripped from Miranda's brow, splashing against Andrea's bare chest. "Ooooooohhh!" Miranda cried out as Andrea curled her fingers inside, applying pressure to her sweet spot. She stilled her hand while waves crashed through the woman's body. Miranda collapsed against her, and Andrea slowly pulled her hand out, wrapping both arms tightly around the other woman. "God, Andrea, you're amazing," Miranda said, taking the younger woman's lips in her own, tangling her fingers in the younger woman's hair.

"As much as I would love to lie here forever with you," Andrea said. "You might have noticed the car stopped moving a while ago. We're home."

Andrea grinned at Miranda's dumbfounded expression as she peered out the window. "Shit! We've been…uh…like teenagers in the car in front of our house?!" Miranda quickly sat up and straightened her clothes. She pressed her hand to her forehead, feeling the dampness of the silk scarf tied around her head. "Oh," she sighed, sinking back into the seat, laughter creeping up within her, "This is so ridiculous!" she said.

"No, Miranda," Andrea said, "You are ridiculous, Miranda Priestly. And I love you, every bit of you." Andrea cinched the belt of her coat tightly around her and took Miranda's hand. "Let's go inside before Roy has a heart attack," she said, winking. Miranda smiled and followed her into the house.

Andrea went straight to the kitchen, fixing a light lunch of leftover turkey, brie, and spinach sandwiches. Andrea and Miranda ate, making small talk about the weather or the girls, as Miranda shared a few photos they had just messaged her.

"Lunch was wonderful," Miranda said, "But now,I think I'm going to go up and relax, maybe take a bath." She paused before adding, "Maybe you'll join me?"

Andrea smiled. "Yes, of course," she said, bending over and kissing Miranda as she took her plate away. "Let me just straighten up here and I'll be right upstairs."

Miranda nodded and went upstairs to draw a hot bath. Downstairs, Andrea quickly put the plates in the dishwasher and pulled out her her phone. "Hi Emily," she said.

"Andy, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I need a favor. I need you to help me find a ring for Miranda. Something unique, that she doesn't have, but still classy and elegant, you know."

"Ooh, I like this favor, Emily said. As you may recall, I've known Miranda longer than you, and thus know exactly what she likes and doesn't. Now, which finger?"

"See, I knew you were the person to ask. Left hand, ring finger."

"Ri—ring finger?" Emily practically choked.

"Yes, Em. You cannot say a word, you understand that, right?"

"Uh, yes, I, I mean, is it a—I mean," Emily stammered.

"Calm down. Miranda and I have been, uh, involved, and she's still dealing emotionally with her diagnosis, and I just want to give her a sort of promise ring. Something with a lot of meaning. I want it ASAP."

Emily sighed. "Okay, okay, I can do this," she said. "I will have a few choices for you ready in an hour or so. Can I email to your Runway email?"

"Yes, that's perfect, thanks, Em!" Andrea said, hanging up the phone.

Emily turned and stared at the receiver, wondering what had happened. "At least she said 'thanks,'" Emily said aloud, hanging up the receiver in the cradle.

Andrea set her phone on the table and climbed upstairs. When she opened the bedroom door, Miranda was sitting on the chaise in the corner. As soon as she spotted Andrea, she shut her laptop and stood to meet the young woman. Andrea thought Miranda would have already been running water, but regardless, was happy Miranda was willing to spend time with her again. She took a deep breath, reminding herself that they both needed their share of 'me' time.

"I'll start the bath," Miranda said, heading into the bathroom. "Just wait here and get comfortable," she said, pulling the door slightly shut. Andrea undressed and put her hair up in a messy bun on top of her head before wrapping herself in her robe. "Okay, darling," Miranda called. Andrea stepped into the bathroom, her eyes adjusting to the dim lighting in the bathroom. As before, there were candles lit throughout the room, but the lights were off, and Miranda was already in the bathtub, up to her neck in bubbles.

Andrea stepped out of her robe and walked closer. Miranda gestured for her to sit in front of her, and she carefully climbed into the bathtub, taking a deep breath as she leaned back into Miranda. Miranda casually wrapped her arms around the younger woman's waist. Andrea tilted her head, twisting slightly to kiss Miranda before quietly returning to their former position.

Laying in complete and perfect stillness, Andrea was truly happy. In the silence, she could almost hear Miranda's heartbeat. "Miranda, have you ever been with a woman?" she asked, breaking the silence after nearly ten minutes.

"Well that's a silly question, Andrea. I mean, you are a woman, are you not?"

"No, Miranda, that's not what I meant!" Andrea said, chuckling. "Before me. Did you ever, you know, experiment?"

"Ohh. Hmm, funny, but I can't seem to remember much before you," Miranda said, softly tickling Andrea's abdomen. "To truthfully answer your question, yes, I once had a relationship with another woman. Catherine. I had just turned twenty-one, and she was the same age as my mother. We were both what you might call lone wolves. Terribly good at what we did, but neither of us socialized much with our respective social groups, and we soon found how much we had in common."

"Did you love her?" Andrea asked.

"Yes. Yes, but it was different. She and I were so incredibly intimate out of genuine fondness for each other. Five months after our first conversation and we were doing everything together, sharing each others' work, being each others' plus ones, and so forth. It was effortless, and I had never felt that kind of connection to another human being."

"What happened?"

Miranda sighed. "I kissed her. I wanted more. It was stupid," she said, "but when Catherine pushed me away, nothing was ever the same, and we gradually drifted apart over the next few months. I found myself making excuses to not see her or talk to her, and it was obvious she was doing the same, as she touted her crush on one of her male colleagues in front of me."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Andrea said. "Did you ever wonder if things had gone differently?"

"Why are you asking, darling?"

"I'm just genuinely curious, that's all," Andrea said. "If it's too much, you don't have to tell me."

"No, no, it's nothing. I just haven't thought about that year of my life in quite some time. And of course I wondered what would have happened if we had continued, or if I didn't kiss her, or if she would have accepted. I drove myself crazy for years wondering 'what if'—but what we had was really something special, and over the years, there were times when I wanted so badly to pick up the phone and tell Catherine something, but, well, I never did."

"That's kind of bittersweet."

"Yes. I do think it was quite a formative experience. I learned a lot about myself, namely that I was capable of loving another woman, but it also taught me to be highly selective with my trust. What about you, Andrea? I don't know too much about your life, except for that cook you were dating when you first started."

"Oh, Nate? Yeah, he was one of those high school sweetheart things. I think he thought we were going to get married, but towards the end, I only looked at him as a friend."

"Did you ever have a relationship with a woman?"

"No. Never. It took me a long time to understand my feelings for you."

"So," Miranda said, "you're mine and only mine?" She slowly slid her hands up, cupping Andrea's breasts as she began to nuzzle her neck.

"Oh god…yes," Andrea moaned. "I'm all yours, Miranda."

TBC…..