Beca and Chloe bundle up and walk six blocks in the cold, windy streets of New York. To Beca it feels more like six miles and her constant shivering leads Chloe to offer up her extra pair of gloves. Her eyes are twinkling as she cracks a joke about southern girls, and Beca rolls her eyes and tells her to shut it (even if she really is thankful for the generosity and lack of frostbite).
When they finally reach Tom's building, Chloe kisses Beca's cheek on the elevator and says, "We won't stay long, I promise."
Beca smiles and nods at Chloe's comment, wondering if the awkwardness that she is feeling is displayed on her face. When they reach Tom's door, Beca averts her eyes, counting all the matching doors between them and the fire escape. It's a coping mechanism she picked up as a kid - finding certain patterns to distract herself from uncomfortable situations - and she feels like she needs it now more than she ever has. She catches Tom opening the door out of the corner of her eye and it pleases her more than it should that when he leans in for a kiss, Chloe turns to give him her cheek.
"You must be Beca," he says, smiling and offering his hand. "Chloe's talked about you so much, I figured I needed to put a face with the name."
"And you must be Tom," she replies. She smiles at his comment, eyes darting to Chloe, who blushes and turns. She walks into the apartment, feeling uncomfortably out of place, her eyes scanning the room. It's stereotypically male, a few pictures and a huge entertainment center without much other decoration. This, of course, could be due to the fact that he's moving, but the living room seems largely untouched so Beca's just going to assume her first guess is right.
"Come, sit," Chloe says, patting her spot next to the couch as Tom heads to the large collection of DVDs on the other side of the room.
"Sorry, I just have to keep packing this up," he says. "Make yourselves at home. I'll be done in a few."
Beca's not sure she could ever feel at home while feeling so awkward, and sitting next to Chloe does nothing to calm the feelings.
"You want something to drink?" Chloe asks, turning to face Beca.
"I... uh... water would be fantastic."
"Coming right up." Chloe stands and moves to the kitchen, Beca following her.
"Chloe," she says quietly. "Are you sure you don't want me to go back to your place? I mean you guys won't see each other for awhile and..." Beca stops, unable to say the next part of that sentence.
"Don't be silly," Chloe says, her fingers brushing Beca's as she hands her the glass of water. "He's probably going to be packing most of the night anyway. I promise. It'll be short."
Beca practically downs the water in one gulp and smiles at Chloe. "As long as you're sure."
They head back for the living room and Chloe lays down on the couch, head in Beca's lap as she flips through Tom's stereo, searching for something to listen to.
Beca freezes awkwardly, unsure of what to do. This level of intimacy in the privacy of hers or Chloe's apartment is one thing, but in Tom's apartment? "Chloe," she hisses. "What are you doing?"
Chloe tilts her head up just a bit, looking at Beca quizzically. "Finding some music. Why?"
"Uh..." Beca looks between the two of them and raises an eyebrow.
"Stop being silly," Chloe laughs, going back to the music, and Beca is confused, but just reaches for her water and sips it slowly, trying to ease the tension that's set in her shoulders.
"So, Beca," Tom says, voice a little loud so it carries over the music. "What are you majoring in? Chloe told me you were in art school, but she never said what for."
"Photography and Music Comp," she replies with a smile.
"Ah. Makes sense; she said you were great behind a camera."
Beca chuckles and fights back an awkward smirk, her face flushing a deep red as she glances at Chloe. "What hasn't she told you about me?"
Tom smiles wide, bright white teeth practically shining in the dim light of the apartment. "Good question. She talks about you a lot."
"Do not," Chloe says, sitting up.
"Really?" Tom teases.
"Not anymore than you talk about Denise."
Tom glares playfully, and Chloe sticks her tongue out in victory.
Beca, for her part, feels like she's missing some vital part of the conversation and makes a mental note to bring it up with Chloe later. They chat a bit more, Tom asking her about the band and how she's adjusting to "southern life" - Tom lived in Texas for while so they trade stories about some of the crazy quirks of the South that they had encountered - and it becomes obvious to Beca why Chloe was so attracted to him. He's a little cocky, but in the adorable way (much like Chloe herself), and when he asks questions, she gets the vibe that he is actually interested in the answer and isn't just trying to be polite. They are there almost two hours when Tom declares he is starving, and after the requisite nice to meet yous and hope to see you soons, Beca tells Chloe she will wait downstairs for her.
Less than a minute later, Chloe comes bounding out the door, practically jumping from the top step to tackle Beca. When their laughter dies down, Chloe asks, "So... what do you think?"
"He's nice," Beca replies evenly, and as much as she wishes she didn't, she actually means it. The fact that he seems like a genuinely nice person makes Beca feel bad - well, worse - about the fact that she doesn't completely like him because of his past with Chloe.
"Yeah, he's pretty much my favorite guy on the planet," Chloe says, stepping off the curb as soon as the light changes. "I mean, I know it's weird because we're not dating anymore, but it was pretty amicable. I'm glad we stayed friends."
"Who's Denise?" Beca blurts out, immediately cursing her curious mind. She wanted to ask, sure, but not quite so randomly.
"Oh. She's Tom's girlfriend."
Beca stops immediately, choking on the cold air she had just sucked into her lungs. There was no way she heard Chloe right. Maybe she had meant girl that was a friend?
Chloe stops and turns at the sound. "Are you okay?"
"She... but you... I..." Beca sputters, unable to form a complete thought. Chloe had just essentially compared her to someone of girlfriend status.
Chloe seems to sense what's off and squeezes Beca's hand gently. "It was a joke, Beca. I mean, yeah, I probably talk about you a lot, but I just talk a lot in general, y'know? I just wanted to give Tom a hard time."
Beca sighs deeply, feeling even more conflicted after Chloe's confession. She manages to force a smile, though, and squeezes Chloe's hand back as they make their way back to the warmth and safety of Chloe's apartment.
-xxx-
That night, lying awake on Chloe's couch, Beca stares up at the ceiling, thinking about the new developments of the past few hours.
When Chloe first revealed that Denise was Tom's girlfriend - and Chloe talked about Beca as much as Tom did Denise - she had panicked. She had felt trapped by an undefined relationship - by a friendship that was clearly more than just a friendship - and it made every part of her seize up. Relationships weren't her thing; she had sworn them off after her parents split. It had been a good plan that carried her thus far without a broken heart even though she had watched many high school classmates deal with their fair share.
While the thought of a relationship scared her almost more than anything, Chloe's brush off of her comments had made Beca feel something that was more like disappointment than dread.
Up until she'd met Chloe, she was fairly certain she was straight. But then Chloe showed up, making her feel things no one had ever made her feel and there was the confliction again; the battle between head and heart raging on worse than before.
Maybe, she thinks, it isn't a "gay" thing. Maybe I just want Chloe.
She tosses this idea around in her head, wondering exactly what the harm would be in letting Chloe in. The other girl already has so much control over her emotions, what if she stops holding back? What if she actually lets herself feel what her heart already knows is there? She's seen the destruction left in the wake of a broken heart. She knows there are a million ways it could all go wrong, but for once, part of her doesn't care. The other part is absolutely terrified.
Beca feels herself drifting and closes her eyes, head and heart still conflicted. She sighs, throwing her arm across her eyes. "I am so screwed."
-xxx-
Beca wakes up wrapped in strong arms and after the initial confusion, she smiles softly. She doesn't remember Chloe coming in, but despite the turmoil in her head when she fell asleep she feels like she just had the best night of sleep she's had in a long time. Chloe's hair tickles her arm and she moves to brush it back, accidentally waking Chloe in the processes.
Chloe whines in protest, not even opening her eyes as she says, "Mmmm... morning."
"Hi, you," Beca whispers, turning in Chloe's arms to face the other girl.
"Sorry," Chloe says, scooting back a little from Beca. "You were having a bad night."
"I was thinking."
"About what? You sounded like you were having nightmares."
"Nothing to worry about," Beca assures her, bringing her lips to Chloe's. "It's okay."
They lay there for a few minutes – not kissing, not moving – just watching each other until Chloe's stomach growls loudly.
Beca smiles, kissing Chloe once more before climbing off the couch. "I guess that means it's breakfast time," she says, heading to get ready for the day.
A/N: Shorter chapter here because I needed a good breaking point for the next chapter. Sorry if the beginning felt a little like filler, but I needed a little bit of a catalyst to get Beca to start really analyzing everything.