Arthur made it to the throne room with Morgana cackling behind him only to realize that he had nowhere else to go. She had him trapped and he had a feeling that she'd wanted it that way. Trapped in the room of the sovereign, where he would die and her new life would start. He wondered if this was just a mark of how dramatic she could be, or if there was something else drawing them to this room. He looked around the room, so many memories vibrating through stone and into his mind like stealth assassins. She came in, the doors were locked and she smiled at him.
"Hello,... dear brother..."Arthur swallowed, "Morgana..."
"Ready to die dear brother?" She asked with a smile.
Arthur sighed sitting on his throne with a grim expression, "Must it come to this, Morgana?"
"Even facing death you covet your throne don't you...?"
Arthur shook his head, "I never asked for the throne, Morgana."
"Then give it to me."
"So you can terrorize Camelot with vengeance? I'd rather die first..."
Morgana smiled lifting a hand, "I thought you'd never ask..."
A burst of energy exploded against his chest, Excalibur went flying from his hands as he went up into the air and into a wall. Morgana focused and focused, his armor dented, but Arthur showed no signs of pain, just confusion. He didn't feel anything really but warm and a little shocked that he wasn't being turned to pulp in his armor. Was she toying with him?
"Seems that Emrys is still around..." Morgana growled, her eyes shifting as they glowed and she pressed harder against the barrier in Arthur's armor.
What is Emrys?
"Morgana..." He head turned to see Merlin leaning against the doorway, clammy with sweat, flushed with exertion, bandaged up with an ugly multi-colored bruise around his throat. The pillar seemed to be the only thing holding him up other than the intense glare in his eyes.
Arthur's heart fluttered, despite his injuries, Merlin never looked stronger or more capable. Why he thought so he didn't really know.
"Merlin... you're still alive..." She said smuggly as he stumbled in. "But not by too much now are you? How does it feel to be poisoned?"
"You don't have to... do this..."
"Don't I?" She asked looking at Arthur. "Of all the people I expected to defend him, it wasn't you... He mistreats you yet you still loyally serve him? I'm beginning to think that you just might love my dear brother."
"Morgana," Merlin started again. "I blame- blame myself for what you have become... but you don't... have to do this... there's still a chance to turn back."
"How dare you pity me! Turn back? From what living in fear and darkness? Chained and terrified? I will not suffer it any longer, nor will I let this scourge make anyone else suffer this way! I've had enough of the Pendragon rule. I've had enough of Uther's legacy..."
Merlin's hand slid over the hilt of Excalibur as she continued on with her rant and he stumbled his way over, dragging the sword through air behind him. His eyes were focused and estimating the length of the sword to how much pain he had to inflict. Years of pain and terror, fear and anger spilling out of her mouth as Merlin stumbled closer as Arthur's armor dented attempting to crush the body beneath it. Morgana didn't hear Merlin getting closer only the blood and pain and rage inside her, bubbling up through insanity and out of her mouth, the force of her magic forcing Arthur's armor inward against the magical protection.
"I won't live in fear anymore! I will be-"
Morgana choked as the sword went straight through her side and her eyes met Merlin's looking down at her, glowing as he held the sword in her side, huffing with effort, trembling to stay standing through his dizziness. Glowing? Why are Merlin's eyes glowing? Arthur fell free of her enchantment as Merlin struggled under her weight and sunk with her to the ground. She looked at him, wide eyed and shocked. Arthur didn't see, he didn't see anything but Merlin's body, wrapped in bloody bandages cradling Morgana in his arms and pulling the blade from her stomach. Tears trailed over the edges of her raised her hand, gripping at the light and ready to smite him, but Merlin caught it gently, squeezing it as blood fell from his lips, down his cheek and mingling with tears in her palm. Who was this boy to pity a High priestess?
"I forgive you..."
"How... dare you... pity me...This... will not... I will not die until I am free..."
Merlin shook his head, holding her close, stroking her hair gently. Morgana wanted to pull bac,k but his grip was strong, his body was warm and she could feel a tugging of some kind in the depths of her where all her pain lay twisted up in magic. The self-loathing and terror she faced when she looked in the mirror, the rage and pain, all of it wriggling around with magic seemed to be detangling in this embrace. It was an odd feeling, one that she hadn't experienced in a long time. The warmth of being held by another person and this ebbing feeling as everything returned to light inside her. She felt safe and loved and wanted... She didn't even want to think about the irony that this was the man that had poisoned her to try and save the place that would have both their heads on pikes if it could.
"It's my fault that you are this way... had I not... If only I'd..."
What is he talking about, why did his eyes glow? Merlin has magic? How could he defend Arthur like this? How could he betray his own kind? How could he look at himself everyday knowing that the place he was trying to save would kill him if it knew?
"I'm sorry for leaving you alone..." he whispered, stroking her hair and swallowing. "You would have been a wonderful priestess...had I not been so frightened...Had I only known...Had I'd been stronger, wiser..."
"You..."
She stared, searching those eyes that were still glowing with magic and found herself gasping for breath. Why... How did he... Why did he sound so wise, so ancient and knowing as if he'd known-
"Em...rys..." she choked out with blood.
He nodded solemnly and rocked her gently ignoring the sound of Arthur's armor being undone and him gasping for breath in freedom. His head swirled as he breathed deeper for breath and for life and in amazement that
"We can go together if you'd like," he whispered. "I don't think I'll make it... you don't have to be alone now...You don't have to be afraid..."
All this time...all this time... it was Merlin? Merlin was Emrys? Sweet, loveable, Merlin that had only tried to poison her after she'd carried the sleeping plague... He'd saved Camelot then, had he known? Had he known all along? How had he'd hidden it so well? How had she never realized? It all made sense in the grand scheme... how he escaped,how he survived, how he kept getting up and defeating her plots... It all made sense..
"Shh... it's over now," he promised, feeling a little faint himself, but waiting. They would go together, they would go together and it would all be over.
"I..never wanted..." Morgana started. "You... could have killed me... a million times over..."
"I could have," he said. "But I didn't think that you were completely evil... Even when... with the hemlock... It was only because... I thought I had no other choice... In the end, I started all of this...I am to blame... I beg your forgiveness, Lady Morgana..."
How could he ask her forgiveness after all the times she'd tried to kill him, all the times that she'd nearly succeeded? Even before those bruises on his neck... How could he forgive her? But it was there in his eyes, glowing like the sun above, the warmth of his arms seeping into her skin pulling all that cold and terror away from her. She felt for once that she could sleep in peace without dreams, without visions, without anything and sleep soundly. This was Emrys? She was starting to understand why the Druids revered him so. There was more than safety in his arms, but magic and something that felt like eternity.
"You can't be free in vengeance Morgana..."he said. "You just can't...it's why you aren't free now... but that's my fault..."
Arthur gasped for breath, finding that he'd only been suffocated a little bit and Merlin was holding Morgana as she lay dying. The doors to the throne room burst open drowning out the murmuring between the two.
"Will you ever tell him?" Morgana asked looking up at Merlin into this glowing irisis. She wondered what he was doing, but she was so warm that she didn't need to ask.
His hand was pressed at her side where the wound was, stunting the bleeding. Was he trying to save her even now?
"If I live and if I want to be free," Merlin said with a smile and bestowing a kiss on her forehead. Her eyes softened,losing the crazed look in her eyes and returning to the Morgana he remembered from his first days in Camelot: at peace and knowing.
"Your eyes... you're... like the sun..." she said, looking up at him. "Like fire and ice and pain...The night and the storm at the heart of the world, but so gentle, so safe and warm..."
Her hand grazed his cheek in something like love and tenderness, admiration, "Immortal and forever...ancient and burning at the center of magic and time... through the course of fate and destiny... I can see us in this moment, in other just like it... With you burning like a fire in the night..."
Merlin shook his head at her blurry and euphoric eyes. There was something like love there too as she leaned up to graze her lips across his.
"You're brilliant..." she whispered as her head fell back and the last bit of life left her.
Merlin swallowed, ignoring the surge of magic he'd felt at her passing as a moment of heightened emotions. Everything turned a dark, murky blue inside him as tears started falling as the Knights began to surround them. He cradled Morgana's lifeless body in his arms, up against him, rocking him.
Don't go, he wanted to say. Don't go, don't leave me here alone...Don't leave me here!
All the screaming inside him burned at the back of his eyes, stabbing at his throat and rioting for freedom, but he bit his lip and just rocked her, murmuring, "Come back" into an ear that could no longer hear him. She was gone and he was left here, left. The death that had been stalking him since he woke up in the hallway
"Is she dead?" Elyan asked.
"She's free," he murmured into her hair, stroking it and rocking the body in his arms. "She's free." I'm not...
Gaius came immediately afterwards checking Morgana's vital signs and Merlin who only collapsed moments after the other's arrival. Gwaine and Percival carried Merlin to Gaius's chambers, Arthur carried Morgana and laid her out for an examination of the body. They lay side by side, equally pale, with dark hair, one of them breathing, the other one not. One body battered, the other stabbed in one place.
"I can't believe... she's dead Gaius."
Gaius shook his head, there was something odd about it. The sword had punctured flesh, but nothing vital, he'd treated worse on Merlin. There was very little blood loss, she should still be alive.
"What's wrong?"
"The wound wasn't fatal, sire..." he said honestly. "There is no way that sword punctured anything vital, that isn't why she died."
"Are you saying Merlin can't aim?"
"On the contrary, it was in a vital position, but narrowly missed vital organs... Merlin had very good aim... I don't believe he was trying to kill her..."
"But... she's dead Gaius."
Gaius shook his head, "No, Arthur. She's free."
Arthur didn't ask for an explanation, but turned his sights towards Merlin's unconscious body. There was a little color returning to him, he was warming up too, but still trembling. The tears hadn't stopped sliding across his cheeks, though what exactly he was crying for, he didn't know. He didn't even know how Merlin knew where they were, how he got there,
"You definitely have some explaining to do, Merlin..."
The explaining never came. It took a day for the remaining color to return to Merlin's face, the bruises stopped swelling, but they were still ugly. Gwaine and Lancelot carried him to his magical room and laid him on the bed surrounded by what they could only explain as "mystical vibes." Gaius checked in on him everyday at meal time and sometimes ate at his bedside. Arthur avoided the chambers like the plague, organizing the hunt and control of those who'd attacked Camelot, making plans to refortify the city, getting food, water, and medicine distributed properly took up time and Merlin's well-being couldn't be add to the mix of insanity in his to mind, not to say that he wasn't still there.
Every morning that another servant would come to wake him, he was reminded of Merlin's health and all the questions that he wanted to ask. He still hadn't figured out what to do with Morgana's body. On the one hand, she was his sister and a rightful heir to the throne, he couldn't very well leave her grave unmarked, but the laws of Camelot said that sorcerers do not get a marked grave. He spent most of the morning thinking of the problem before his door opened with lunch.
"The King actually working, that's a surprise..."
Arthur looked up as if out of a dream only to see Merlin placing a tray on the table with food, a set of goblets beside the tray and the pitcher beside that. Arthur stood, staring at Merlin's pale form in shock.
Merlin?
Merlin blinked, looking at him strangely, "Is there a reason that you're staring at me, sire?"
Arthur crossed the room quickly, pulling Merlin into his arms and gasping at the feeling of warmth and solid body against him. He was alive, and well, awake, and as snarky as ever. Merlin wasn't quite all whole but he didn't let Arthur realize that his grip was a bit too tight to be comfortable, merely relishing the feeling of Arthur's arms around him for the storm to come.
"You idiot," he said softly. "I thought you were dead..."
"I may be stupid, but I'm not stupid enough to die. Who else would take care of you? Obviously, you can't do it yourself, then the whole of Camelot would be in danger."
Arthur laughed at that, squeezing him a little tighter, finding it increasingly hard to let go of the other. Merlin held back a wince and a sound of pain and let the blonde hold him, basking in the other's solidarity against him, the smell of his hair and skin like sunlight and wood. While he hadn't gotten his wish to leave, this wasn't a bad consolation prize. It was obvious that fate still had something else for him to do, what he wasn't sure and it didn't matter.
"Arthur... are you going to let go any time soon?"
"I'm thinking of how many different ways I could choke you right now..."Merlin winced at that and so did Arthur, pulling back reluctantly, "I didn't mean..."
"I know."
Arthur swallowed a little uncomfortably, catching a glimpse of a gruesome hue beyond Merlin's neckerchief. He bit his lip and looked into the other's eyes which watched him a little hazily. There was something in the gaze that made Arthur think that there was more than something slightly wrong. There was that shifty look again, but it wasn't the same nervous tremor. Just a regretful resign to whatever end Merlin imagined.
"Are you... sure you should be back at work, Merlin? You're not fully healed yet are you? You don't look too good..."
Arthur absentmindedly trailed his hand over Merlin's jaw line, but Merlin felt it everywhere at once and bit back another wince as he stuffed his magic down again.
Merlin shrugged, "I've been unconscious for the last how many ever days, I'm not sleeping anymore."
Arthur sighed, "Does Gaius know you're up?"
"Yep."
Arthur winced, "Just... take it easy... I'm supposed to be having lunch with Mordred..."
"I know," Merlin replied.
A knock sounded on the door and it opened to reveal Mordred who looked at Merlin in shock and then to Arthur.
"Merlin, you're awake... how are you feeling?"
He grinned, "Better than ever... if you count death warmed up as a opposed to just death."
Mordred nodded, "You... wished to speak to me, my lord?"
"Yes, join me for lunch Mordred, I have a few questions..."Merlin moved to exit the room, but Arthur wouldn't have it.
"Stay, I may need you, yet."
Merlin didn't like where this is going."You... you are a Druid by birth are you not?"
The room went tense as Mordred swallowed, nodding slowly, "I have not had contact with my people for many years, though."
Arthur smiled helplessly, he seemed frightened, "Relax. This is not in reaction from the attack. I merely have some questions that you may be able to answer... I do not know enough about Druid culture to ask someone else, you are the only person I could think of besides Gaius..."
Mordred nodded eating slowly in an attempt to not stall or look at Merlin as Arthur continued eating as he always did. Typical, the one asking all the questions about another person in the room who was intertwined with Mordred's fate would be the one not to pick up on the tension.
"Have you ever heard of something called Emrys?"
Mordred choked on the tomato he was eating and Merlin swallowed hard, it figured that Arthur would ask these questions. Mordred took a long drink of water and cleared his throat.
"Yes, your Majesty... may I ask... what your interest in the subject is?"
"Well, while Morgana had me up against the wall, my armor got dented, you saw it, but I was perfectly fine. She said something about Emrys still being alive... But would it make sense for this Emrys to be a person? I always thought a sorcerer had to be near enough to cast spells and the like... Is it a thing?"
"No, Emrys... is a person..."
Arthur frowned, "Well... could you tell me more?"
Mordred winced, but Merlin didn't flinch. He didn't have time to, hyper aware that his fate and relationship with Arthur hung on the balance of this conversation. Mordred knew that as well and he wasn't equipped with the social grace to deal with his King wanting to know his manservant's most well-kept secret.
What do I tell him? Mordred asked.
Just don't tell him all of the truth...Merlin said. He deserves to hear that bit from me...
"Emrys is a part of a Druid prophecy," Mordred explained, tipping around the identity of the person, and the specifics. "It is said that he will help the Once and Future King, you, unite Albion and usher in a New Age of Peace."
"Well, does the legend say anything about when I'm supposed to meet this person? What they look like? Station? Gender?"
"I do not know the specifics, sire..."
Arthur sighed, "I just... feel like I should thank them... Why only now?"
"There's nothing to say that this person hasn't been in Camelot longer."
Arthur looked up at him and Merlin winced. He was about to get cornered. Poor Mordred, for all of Merlin's apprehension, that didn't mean that Mordred deserved this moment. He was a sweet kid after all. For all of his blank expressions, Mordred was absolutely terrible at lying...
"You know who this person is don't you?"
His face writhed with discomfort and he squirmed in his seat, "Sire..."
"Don't lie to me, Mordred. You'll have to practice a bit more to be good at it. Who is it? How long have they been here?"
Merlin stifled a scoff, he hadn't practiced much in lying to Arthur and he was rather good at it... then again, he'd gotten a lifetime of lying practice in...
"Sire... I don't think..."
"Mordred," he started warningly. "I want to know..."
"But...-"
"Mordred-"
Three knocks sounded on the door and all the tension seeped out of Merlin's shoulders. The door opened."Gaius?"
"Sire, have you seen Merlin?"
They looked at Merlin who stood off to the side.
"There you are, I told you to be back down so I can check the rest of your wounds...And here you are standing for who knows how long."
Merlin breathed out, "Sorry... Arthur asked me to stay."
"Go get your wounds tended to..."Merlin took that moment to save them both and faked a pain in his side, crumbling under a false weight. Mordred took his cue to come to his aid, catching him before he fell.
"You really shouldn't stress yourself this much Merlin," Mordred chided.
"You idiot, why didn't you say you were still this bad?"
"Didn't... cross my mind..." Merlin gasped out. Mordred helped Merlin down the stairs promising to return when he was settled as Leon pulled Arthur away for some other sort of business. As soon as they were in Gaius's chamber, Merlin let out a deep sigh of relief, relaxing back with a plop, all feigned agony forgotten.
"Good thinking," Mordred said. "But that won't put him off for long..."
"I know, he's as stubborn as an ox..."
"What's all this about?" Gaius asked.
"Arthur's asking questions about Emrys," Mordred explained as Merlin sunk down and pulled his neckerchief free. Gaius fussed over him chiding him about the dangers of hiding things from Arthur and how insane it would be if he found out from someone other than Merlin.
"Can you imagine how furious he'll be?"
He didn't have to imagine it. He knew Arthur well enough to know. It would be a goblet at his head, but a sword at his neck in the middle of the night. He didn't even think that Arthur would give him a chance to explain either.
"I will be the one to tell him..." Merlin said. "Just try and be inconspicuous for a while Mordred..."
He nodded, not leaving until it was time for training at which point he knew Arthur wouldn't bring it up again. He was right luckily. Merlin found himself outside with the Knights watching over them as usual.
"It's nice to see you, Merlin," Lancelot greeted.
"Yeah, at least now Arthur won't try and kill us every practice..." Gwaine said.
"What do you mean?"
"Ever since you fell ill, Arthur's been going at it harder than usual. He's been using sparring partners as dummies."
Merlin winced, he knew how that felt... Arthur was always ruthless with him and that mace hurt like hell. Elyan slid across the ground with Arthur looking down at him.
"You need a little more power in your back leg..."
"Looks like even with his love here, Arthur is still beating us like dummies... What's going on with you two?"
Merlin scoffed, "Love? What on Earth are you talking about?"
Lancelot rolled his eyes, "Don't tell me that you haven't noticed..."
"Noticed what?"
"The needless amount of touching, the proximity, hell the general hostility and annoyance towards you..." Gwaine said. "I wonder if he's always been like that or if he's emotionally growing backwards..."
Arthur whirled, shoulders heaving, tired, lifting his sword to mark out Gwaine, "You're up Gwaine."
"Let's hope he doesn't kill me..." Gwaine grumbled.
Elyan limped over to take a seat, "Merlin, I don't know what's wrong between you two, but please... please fix it before we all end up in Gaius's chambers or something..."
"I... haven't done anything."
They looked at him, "Well maybe that's the problem..."
Merlin frowned, "What do you mean?"
"You two haven't...?" Elyan lead, Gwaine made the motions and Merlin stuttered through his flush."Wh-What are you..."
"You haven't? No wonder he's so pissed off, you at least know he wants to..."
Merlin looked at him blank and Gwaine smacked himself in the face, "The two of you are utterly hopeless. And I'm going to die because of it..."
Merlin huffed, he'd like to think that he wasn't hopeless as Arthur turned to look over at them and Gwaine fell back under his blade with a huff. Their eyes locked, Arthur's full of a proud rage
I'm better than him...
Merlin didn't know how he felt about the vibes he was getting from Arthur as he pulled Gwaine to standing and told him to take it easy before taking on Percival. Not that he didn't love Arthur's natural talent for sword-fighting... But the blonde was a bit hot-headed sometimes and he didn't want to think about the possibility of getting his throat cut because Arthur wasn't happy... He doubted that Arthur was that violent, but with the secret Merlin's been hiding from him for so long, something this close to the chest.
He'll kill me... or worse...
He wasn't sure what his mind constructed as "worse" but he was sure he didn't want to find out as Percival and Arthur continued to clash swords. The entirety of the knights training was Arthur hammering at them, knocking them over and avoiding looking over to Merlin. He heard Merlin laughing and it pissed him off, he should be over there making him laugh, he shouldn't laugh like that with anyone that wasn't him. He knew what this feeling was, and it didn't even come as a surprise, just more annoyance. Why didn't Merlin realize that he was jealous?! He wasn't exactly being secretive about it. Trust that idiot not to notice anything!
"Arthur!"
What did he just not care that the King had fallen for the bumbling idiot and was pissed off that Merlin was showing no inclination towards the same?
"Arthur!"
Was he just playing with his head is that what-
"ARTHUR!" Merlin screamed from behind him, freezing him and making him whirl around.
"What?!"
His knights looked at him, and then at the dummy that he'd been attacking... It had a head a few moments ago he was sure. The head rolled to a stop at the edge of the courtyard after bouncing off the side of the castle wall. A hush fell over the courtyard as they all looked at him.
"Are... you alright, sire?"
Arthur huffed, looking at his hands in disgust, glaring at his knights and finally setting his seething rage on Merlin's form across the courtyard.
This is all Merlin's fault, he decided, stomping towards the other and shoving his sword in his hand.
"Shine it," he growled. "Sharpen it. That head should have come off cleaner."
Merlin wasn't sure how to handle that statement as Arthur turned around and announced that training was over as he had some other things to attend to... He didn't like the deep cold feeling in the pit of his stomach though, but didn't say anything about it either. He marched up the stairs towards his chambers, locked the door behind him and screamed, reaching for the first thing he could reach and throwing it to the ground. His wardrobe was knocked over, bed sheets thrown around the room until he felt satisfied at the state of chaos the room was in. Looking around at his handy work he took the time to unlock the door and march to his unmarred desk to get to work on business that was actually important. He tossed his armor and chainmail off, the padding, his boots around the room and sat back in his chair, leisurely causing things to fall off his dresser, off his desk, and roll across the floor.
When Merlin came in, he was done with the address to the council and had thrown the rest of his desk items onto the floor, papers flew everywhere, luckily there was no wind that day and the windows were closed, or his job would have been much harder than reorganizing the room. He'd tossed the drawers to his desk across the room, nearly blocking the door. Merlin gazed around at the chaos to look at the blonde man, getting up from his desk, slipping on the pair of boots that Merlin had just shined and walked around him. Their eyes didn't meet as Arthur headed out the door.
"It better be clean before I go to bed tonight," he left then and marched down the hall.
It was Merlin's turn to scream in annoyance.
By dinner time, Arthur had come in three times to check on the progress and each of the times, he'd done something to make Merlin's life more difficult: pulling the sheets off again, dropping marbles all over the floor, kicking over the bucket of water Merlin had been working from before leaving once more on the excuse that he had something else to do besides retrash the room that Merlin had been working on. More than once, Merlin had thought to just use magic to get it done, but apparently Arthur was bent on making him still be there as he sent guards, servants and and everyone else in the kingdom to report on Merlin's progress. Merlin had brought his dinner and went back to tidying up the room as he ate. When he was done, Merlin stacked the dishes up and growled as Arthur took the time to knock everything off his desk as he was leaving. He'd ring the blonde's neck one day, he swore it.
When he deposited the dishes in the kitchen, washed them and returned. The room was only in half chaos with Arthur standing in the middle of the room. He felt the annoyance, the rage, the anger, the desire to put him on the top of the castle and leave him there with nothing more than a glass of water for a few days, but he breathed. He took another breath, and another, and another and set to work on cleaning. If Arthur wanted to act like a child, there was no reason for Merlin to do the same no matter how much he really, really, really wanted to. Arthur watched him clean for the rest of the night. When he was finally finished, Merlin's eyes were cold, glaring at Arthur.
"Do you require anything else sire?" He stood and walked around him.
"Are you not speaking to me, sire?"
He reached the door, a million things running through his head and he stopped in front of it. He shouldn't do this. He'd only been such a prat to keep Merlin near him today, doing something he knew what he was doing, who he would be with, where he would be. It was only because he was jealous and he needed time to think without the idea of Merlin running around with Gwaine or someone else in his head. He just did it for clarity, but it hadn't been clear at all. Instead, he'd been driven crazy by the fact that he'd murdered a dummy in practice and hadn't noticed... That could have been one of his knights. He'd never lost control like that, it wasn't safe. It wasn't smart either... He needed to get a handle on this, he needed to clear his thoughts once and for all of all this foolishness. He needed to tell the truth and be free from it. Arthur needed to tell the truth and be heard for once since he realized that he could never truly be all that Uther wanted in a son... no matter how hard he tried. He wasn't even sure-no he was sure that Uther's version of the perfect son isn't what he wanted.
"What exactly is the problem? Why are you being such a prat?"
Click!
Arthur locked the door behind him crossing the room with definite steps, stalking Merlin across the room towards the bed. Their eyes met, half in a quaking nervousness, the other in confusion. What was going on? Merlin let out a yelp as he fell back against the bed and Arthur climbed atop him, straddling his waist and looking down seeming to contemplate more than just this moment, more than any other moment in his life. Merlin could see that whatever he was thinking was causing a lot more turmoil than Merlin ever thought the other capable of. He didn't want to think about why, how, or what exactly was going on with the sense that he was only trying to get out of Arthur's presence before there was more problems than Arthur being a total prick and making Merlin clean his room. But now he was trapped under his lucious, muscular King, settling his ass against Merlin's groin aread and causing more problems than necessary.
"A-Arthur... what are you-"
His eyes narrowed and Merlin shut his mouth, not disturbing Arthur's pensive moment. He didn't want to know why Arthur's eyes raked up and down him so intently, hesitantly but full of fire. Arthur's arms bent as Merlin moved to sit up, not bothering to back up as the space between them shrunk. Eyes stared, stared a little harder and it felt like an eternity. What was he doing? What was he thinking? Merlin wondered if this was a ploy to embarrass him... if somehow Arthur had begun to suspect his feeling for him, but there was not really a sense of observation, just terror and a strange fragile light in his eyes that made Merlin want to pull him close and tell him that everything would be alright. He could feel Arthur's breath ghosting across his face now, the blonde haired King sat fully in his lap, thick legs folded beneath him on either side of Merlin's hips. Blue met blue across the small space and it was Arthur that leaned forward, slowly, hesitantly. He didn't want to think about it any more than he needed to, for just a moment he would be touched, gently at first, shyly, barely a graze really, sending lightning crackling along his skin, before Arthur abandoned the hesitance, breaking free of all his titles for a moment and leaned forward completely. Merlin's mouth opened in shock and Arthur took full advantage, he'd worry about what Merlin was thinking later, when it didn't feel this good, when he wasn't overtaken by this feeling of light inside him. His tongue slid along Merlin's ushering out a whimper and a groan, who made what sound Arthur didn't want to admit or acknowledge, it didn't matter as his hips found a rhythm and more of those delicious sounds were made with each roll against Merlin's lap.
Merlin groaned, feeling Arthur's whimpers through his whole being. His arms wrapped around Arthur, clenching the smooth roundness of his ass and pulling him harder up against him. Arthur moaned, breathless into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Merlin's neck, meeting Merlin's needy pulls with equally needy grinding and trying to breathe only as much as necessary in between kisses. They broke enough to gasp, or let one of Arthur's desperate whimpering moans escape to hearing rather than being swallowed in the kiss.
"Merlin," Arthur moaned trailing a kiss across his cheek as Merlin's teeth found purchase on his neck, biting gently before licking upwards. Arthur pressed closer, sliding a hand through Merlin's hair, loving the feel of his hand across the small of his back.
Lower, lower, more, more, he wanted to say, itching to get on with the rest of his plan to make Merlin his and no one else's.
"Arthur," Merlin gasped out in between a kiss, before he could reign his sense back in, reign his magic back in before something happened. Hands stopped and gripped Arthur by the elbows to pull him back.
"Wait."
The terror was immediate as if without Merlin's pliancy, he'd slipped back into the version of himself that wasn't sitting in Merlin's lap, grinding against him like a harlot. What had he done? What was he doing? Had he lost his mind? The King of Camelot in love with a male servant, grinding against him with every intention of riding Merlin into sexual bliss. The voice that sounded like Uther snorted in disgust, he could've at least been the man in the relationship, exercising his right to fuck his manservant if he so chose. But no, weak little Arthur wants to be fucked, how would the other Kings take him seriously? How could he ever face his father in the afterlife with this marring his Kingly record? How could he rule the people of Camelot as this weak, needy, pathetic excuse for a male that didn't even have the fortitude to woo women into bed with him, or to want them there? Running away from his responsibility to produce an heir to rule the kingdom, to fortify alliances, to-
Merlin watched the furry of panic across his face with interest and concern. Was the King that repressed?
"I-I... I... " Arthur started, lips swollen as he tried to pull himself together, the customary and defensive sneer appeared. "I don't know what's gotten into me I guess I'm coming down with something...an enchantment or something-"
Merlin crushed their lips together gaining the other's silence and immediate compliance. Whatever Arthur was going to say slipped away into the trembling gasp and his hands clenching the fabric over Merlin's chest. Once he was sure that Arthur was back to where he was when he'd climbed into his lap, he pulled back with a stern look. Arthur whimpered at the loss, but hazy blue eyes opened again and there was nothing but need there.
"I'm not saying that I don't want it, I'm saying hold on a minute." He gave a reassuring squeeze to one of Arthur's thighs and the blonde fell forward against his chest, shoulders hunched and breathing slowly. The tremor that had threatened to start vanished as Arthur relaxed against him, curling into himself to fit within Merlin's arms. He fit perfectly to Merlin's surprise.
He always knew that Arthur was at the very least bigger than him horizontally, though a little shorter than him. But he'd never felt like Arthur was this small before... Maybe it wasn't the physical space, but the psychic space that Arthur seemed to take up in the room with his soft breathing and clenching fingers in his jacket. His King filled the space between his shoulders completely, breathing in his scent and waiting for Merlin to say what he needed to before they got on to more exciting things.
"I think... I think I should tell you this now..."Merlin realized that he was probably about to ruin everything, but it didn't feel right to do this without Arthur knowing everything. He wouldn't have been able to live with himself."Arthur... I..."
"Hmm?" Arthur practically purred into his shoulder, moving a little to soak up the warmth of his skin.
He'd never realized that Merlin was so warm, he always figured the other was absolutely frigid since he was so pale, but Merlin felt like a fire, burning from the inside, almost feverish but there was no clammy skin, no cold sweat to mark sickness, just a delicious heat. It was a little ironic that he always felt so cold with all the muscle, the training, the layers and layer of clothing, the amount of time he spent in the sun turning a lovely golden color. He added "bed heater" to the list of Merlin's duties after this night.
"Arthur..." Merlin said definitively pulling Arthur back.
He pouted, "Don't be such a girl, Merlin. Get on with it!"
And let me go back to the warmth... or get to something better...
Merlin sighed, "I'm... I'm a warlock."