Aaand, here we are again :) Thanks to everybody who's read and reviewed, whether it has been this story, or one of the other two I have posted here. It truly means alot to me (=

DISCLAIMER: I think I forgot to do the disclaimer the last time? Huh, no wonder, it's absolute torture to write these... I mean, who will willingly accept defeat, and admit that they do not own Twilight? Nobody in their right mind would not dream of owning at least a character... But NOOO Stephenie has to go and take that little, slight, sliver of hope from you... Damn it all to hell, in my mind, I own Jasper - finish, done, THE END!

Hope you like it.
Warning: Might be a little sad... :/

Chapter 2

Song: Phil Collins - You'll Be In My Heart

Carlisle POV

3 DAYS LATER!

The burning, beyond agonizing pain slowly started to fade from my toes and fingertips. I clutched the cloth as hard as I could, remembering every single moment I had spent with my Isabella. I am sorry Isabella that I cannot be there to raise you, protect you, and sooth you when you are sad. I love you. I thought as I burned.

I am sorry Sophie, for failing you, for not being there to help, for not keeping my promise about being safe. I love you.

I whimpered silently, I couldn't afford being found here. I understood what I was becoming and I didn't wish to be it. I wished to be with my family and I wished to be with my daughter so much I thought my heart would explode. Instead the agonizing fire raged on, setting my every body part on something that was worse than fire, and left it cold. My heart-rate increased and I slowly - very slowly - felt the fire disappearing along with my heart that felt worse. I cried the last tears I had before the fire dried out my veins and left me with a thirst I despised. I didn't want this, I didn't deserve this. Or better; the humans didn't deserve this. I would be a killer, a monster. I would be a murderer for the rest of the earth's lifetime. Forever. Immortal forever. I cried out silently in despair. When my heart beat for the last time in forever I opened my eyes to a world I didn't knew existed. Everything was so clear that it was unreal and I felt stronger than I ever thought was possible. I turned around faster than humanly possible and felt a twinge of pain because I knew what that meant; I really was a Vampire. A haunted- a killer. I was filled with self-loath and I ran away from my home-city with only one look back. I looked at my house when I went by it. Sophie was sitting on a kitchen chair with Isabella in her arms crying, clutching a piece of paper to her chest as she cried, and Isabella cried. I could hear them from where I stood and the sound was heartbreaking.

The rain began to pour and I wished that the drops that rolled down my cheeks were my own tears. To see Sophie and Isabella like that was tearing my dead heart apart and I sobbed. I soon realized I couldn't cry. My eyes were still dry and I just ran away only thinking of my wife and daughter.

I came to a forest where I hid from everything and everyone. When the sun came out I tried to burn myself; I had read that Vampires died in the sunlight.

That was not true. I only discovered I sparkled in the sun. I cried out in despair and ran to a cliff. I was not sure where I was or how long I had ran, I only knew I was by the ocean, and I launched myself off the cliff without thinking twice about it. I should have realized that, that didn't help. I tried to suck in the water, only to realize that when my lungs were filled with water it didn't make any difference. I wasn't dying like I hoped. I swam to the shore and tried thinking of other possible ways to commit suicide.

I ran to a cottage where nobody was home, thankfully. I hadn't touched one human, and I preferred to keep it that way. For Isabella. For Sophie. The thirst I could feel ragging in my throat was so agonizing, second only to the burning fire of my change.

I stole a knife and ran away. I tried to stick the knife directly to my heart, only to see the knife crumble to a piece of useless iron. I sighed in frustration. I tried digging out my heart only to discover that it was useless.

I buried myself, even as impossible as that sounds – only to reveal to myself that I couldn't suffocate. This new, strange, unwanted body of mine was incapable of destructing.

I refused to drink human blood. It became harder as I became weaker but I hid myself away in a cave deep in the forest. I stayed there without sleeping for weeks. I didn't sleep in this body, I discovered. I didn't eat anything human; it smelled so revolting that I didn't even try. I was able to dig a 6 feet deep hole with the bare hands in under 2 minutes. I was fast, I was strong; I was a monster.

I crept out of the cave sometimes, for change.

One day a herd of deer came by. Without thinking I lunged at one. I sank my teeth into its skin and sucked it dry. Blinded with thirst I lunged at another one, then another one, until I had drunk 8 deer. I felt full, but the ragging in my throat was only dulled. I smiled for the first time in 2 and half months. It felt strange.

I didn't have to drink humans. I could drink animals. There was blood in them. I was happy by this revelation.

I stayed in the forest for 6 months, without interacting with humans at all.

Once there came a Vampire by. His name was Heath. He was red-eyed, had muddy-colored hair and a friendly yet reserved face. He was an ongoing nature, he liked to travel around. A nomad. He told me about his life as a Vampire as soon as I had convinced him that I wasn't out for a fight. I had never liked fighting, that was partly why I loathed Vampire-hunting. I told him about my human life since I had only been a Vampire for 6 months. He had laughed when I had told him about my first months as a Vampire.

"You have never tasted human blood?" He asked with a surprised and confused expression.

"Not once. And I do not intend to. My daughter deserve better." I said to him.

"Wow, impressive. I must tell you though, it will be hard to interact with the humans if you ever intend to. I have tried once, and I ended up slipping when I came across a man in a dark alley. I found out I needed to be full if I would ever interact with humans again. Good luck!" He said with sarcasm in the end. I just smiled at my first friend I ever met as a Vampire. Heath stayed with me for a while but had to move on. He told me my eyes were a strange color. That made me curious. I wandered to a small pond I used to wash myself. I had expected the water to feel cold to me, instead it felt warm. Just as warm as myself, which told me I had icy cold skin. I sighed when I discovered that.

The mirror the water provided when it lay absolutely still, showed me what he meant. But it was also the first time I saw myself after I had changed. I had never bothered to look at myself when I bathed and I really hadn't thought about looking at myself.

I gasped at what I saw; Vampires' faces changed under the fire apparently. I still looked like myself sort of; my hair, eye shape, lips were still the same, but the lips were fuller and the eyes were amber.

When I saw myself I decided I wanted to make the best out of my situation. I had always wanted to be a doctor, and I didn't need to sleep.

I ran towards a city, a long way from London...

I studied at night, went to a medicine school in the day and when it was sunny I studied for myself. I read a whole lot of books and as the years dragged on I moved from city to city where I would either find an abandoned cottage or live in cages. I got myself part-time jobs. Surprisingly I was never declined and as I worked up my fortune I soon had quite an amount of money. I didn't need food so all the money I would have spent on that was safely kept in a safety-box. I read all the time; if it wasn't studies it was literature and what book I could get my hands on. Reading became my only distraction, but I felt lonely. I thought about my family every day, while I read, while I studied, while I did everything. My brain had more room than I could ever think was possible, so I was able to do both and still learn from my studies. It came naturally to me to read everything; and I remembered everything with perfect clarity meaning I didn't have to read the same book twice, and that I learned faster. It was quite convenient; I was soon cleverer than the doctor who taught at the seminarian.

Isabella's piece of cloth had its place in my pocket. I took it with me everywhere and I intended to keep it that way.

I took a doctors degree and started working on a hospital on the dayshifts. Human blood was difficult to be around in the beginning, but I just stopped breathing, and only breathing small breaths if I had to. But the more I worked, the more used to it I got.

I watched as the cities grew in size and scientists working on projects I would have rolled my eyes at, if I hadn't seen what I had seen. Hadn't lived through what I had. Hadn't learned what I had.

It had been 7 years, and I still had to resist the urge to go back to London and find Sophie and Isabella. I wanted to see them so badly, but I knew I couldn't. I wanted to watch Isabella grow up, watch her through her childhood. I missed swinging her around, tugging her in, and soothing her when she cried. But I resisted, I couldn't-

As the year passed, I moved to Scotland, from there to Ireland, and there from I moved to France. Or rather swam to France. There I got the nightshifts at a hospital. I learned the language quickly and I befriended more Vampires.

In Great Britain I got to know more Vampires than just Heath; Alistair was rather grumpy, but I got to know him. He preferred to live alone, to not have company, but I somehow managed to become his friend. He was a quiet person but kind.

Then there was Siobhan and Liam in Ireland. Numerous of nomads had I crossed paths with, and had become friends with. Garret, he was a nomad, an adventurous one and he was kind and happy. There was Susan; a small redheaded, sweet girl, with the gift of pulling her preys to her, even if they wanted to run they could not. It was like an invisible bond appeared between her and her prey; she drank humans, but other than that, we became great friends. Jason; tall and quite large for a vampire – bigger than I was – around the stomach that is.

Tony; a man with long, black-hair and a slouchy figure. I crossed paths with many others as well; some I became closer with than others.

Oh how I wish I wouldn't be damned like this forever. How I wished I could still be human and see my little Choco grow up.

Choco, my daughter. Choco, because she had the same stunning brown eyes as her mother. Oh Sophie.

I sighed and curled up in a ball in the bed I held no use for.

I miss you. I thought out to the persons who would never hear.

So? I would be one happy gal, if you would be so kind and let me know what you think of it. This story is a soft spot for me; I kind of like it, and I would be so sad to see that all my work was wasted... :O

Thanks for reading! :D

- Lu