You all deserve a medal for coming back to me after this long. I am truly sorry. But thank you, for coming back and reading this story: thanks to all readers, reviewers, all those that has added this story to their favorites and alerts. :) You're amazing!

Disclaimer: I stand by all my other disclaimers: I am not making a profit of this - it's all for the fun of it :)

Song - Leona Lewis - Yesterday

Previously:
"I am so sorry FeeFee, this will hurt. I am so, so sorry." I whispered before I bit him. He howled in pain, and then he laid still. I covered my head in my hands, and cried tearlessly. He was dead, I was alone. Alone again, lost.

But then the most fantastic thing happened.

Felix started whimpering, and his heart-rate sped up.

He was changing.

He would become the only immortal dog in the world.

And he would be with me.

I stayed with Felix. Never did I leave his side; without the human needs I could stay by him until he woke up. It would be the greatest gift to me that Felix survived, and could be with me forever. As he burned and whimpered, I remembered all the details about him. Deep, deep inside I had known all along that I would be able to change him. For one; he stayed with me during my transformation, he followed me when I woke up, trusted me again, and we could communicate with each other, and understand one another. And lastly, and probably the most reliable reason; his scent didn't appeal to me. He smelt vampire-ish. He smelt good, just not in a food way. And now I had gotten the answer; it really was possible to change an animal. But Felix was one of a kind, and I don't think we could ever find a dog such as him. He would be alone for all I knew, in this world. I doubted he could ever find a mate, but then again: who said I could? With my past? Who would want to marry that?

I felt a pang of sadness when I realized that I would never find a mate, I would never get married. I would never feel love. The only love I would experience was the love of my best friend; the vampire-dog, Felix. I would never be loved, and love in return.

I would never experience the happiness of having a child I wanted. I would never see the happy faces of my family when I married; they were long gone and I had no such luck in the world. Why would I be this if I had? Why would I be a vampire? Why would I have experienced what I had? Because I was not lucky. I wasn't lucky one bit. The only luck I had was to have Felix. And that was the best of luck I would ever get. And I was grateful for it. If this is what I get for the crappy life I have lived; then I'm forever grateful and happy. I wouldn't change it for the world.

I felt my eyes go pricky, the way I knew they did when I wanted to cry. The way it felt when my forever dry eyes wanted to shed tears.

A storm was over Dublin; a lightening cracked the evening sky and with my sensitive ears, I could almost hear the sky open up. I clung to Felix like my existence depended on it; I wasn't afraid, I just did not want to be alone.

CPOV

How I missed my Isabella. So very much. My little Choco.

I grew tired of Great Britain; I wanted to see the world and deep down inside of me, it pained me to be there. So I swam to France, to ease the pain in my dead heart. I only found out it became worse; it was as if parts of my stone-heart was ripped out of my chest and stomped on. I realized it was loss; I had lost the last part of my Isabella. The only part I had left now was the cloths of hers I had with me all the time. It didn't smell like her that much anymore, but my super-sensitive nose caught the hints of her strawberry-freesia smell. As I swam over the sea, I made sure only to swim in the nighttime. I was lucky; it didn't take more than an hour or two, thanks to my incredible speed and the fact that I didn't need oxygen. I had been immortal about 60 years or so when I swam to France.
I made sure that Isabella's cloth didn't get wet; I wanted to keep the last hint of her smell and have it sooth me whenever I needed. It was fading; you probably wouldn't have smelled it as human. Even to a vampire the smell was faint.

I rented a place in France; I didn't plan on staying long. By the time I had lived in France for a few years, I was almost certain that I had been through almost every single book to find in the bookstores of Paris. It was a miracle, really, that they even had bookstores. No people could read for crying out loud! And every single book was on Latin, but it really was no problem. My Father was the reverent after all, and needed to be able to read, to tell the holy words from God to his people. And I would have been the next, so he taught me how to read.

My knowledge was enough to outshine even the smartest person living at the time. I had seen more, experienced what they could only think themselves to, I had been there.

When I was in France I crossed paths with a Vampire called Aro. He was a cheerful Vampire with a passion for powers. He told me he had the power of mind reading; with a touch of his hand he knew your every thought. I was fascinated and I followed him to Italy where he, his brothers and guard had their castle. I learned that they were over 2700 years old and that they had set the basic rules for the Vampire world. I hadn't and couldn't really break the main rule: keep the secret. Humans had grown out of their belief in Vampires and the supernatural world, slowly but definitely.

Since I drank animal blood, it would be difficult to expose myself without lacking the self-control of my body I had gained. I wondered how it would be to create a companion, but didn't do anything about my musings.

I stayed with Aro a decade or two and learned a lot over the years. I saw how he handled rebellious Vampires, but I didn't really like it. I knew they deserved their punishment but I was against violence.

I often wondered how Isabella had dealt with her life; had she become what she wanted? Was she disappointed with me? Did she have a good life? Did I have any grandchildren? I knew that she and Sophie must be long gone. But the thought pained me, and I preferred to think about what had happened in their lives. I missed my Sophie so very much, but I thought I missed Isabella more. I grew up with Sophie, but I never got to see my little Isabella grow up. How terrible I am to choose between my two girls. But I loved them both equally; I just missed Isabella so much. My little Choco.

"Carlisle, dear friend, how are you this fine morning?" Aro asked, cheerful as ever.

It was the 13th September today. I was sad, depressed even. My little Choco.

I looked at the forever cheerful Aro with sadness in my eyes.

"Not good, I am afraid. Today would have been my daughter's birthday. If she was still alive, she would be 90 years old. Of course, I do not know if she is still alive, but I doubt it. Oh Isabella." I hid my head in my hands.

It was the year 1766 when I decided that sometime soon, I would be leaving Volterra and start my own life somewhere.

Aro stood there for some time. I do not believe he knew what I was talking about; he never had a daughter. If he did, he could not remember her.

"I am sorry to hear that Carlisle. I am truly sorry." And then he left the room. Perhaps it was because of my depression. But this day was always harsh on me.

I always mourned over my loss on this day, remembered the good times with her, remembering, though it was difficult. I remembered her big brown eyes and longish hair. It was longer than a normal baby, but it didn't matter; she was special. One of a kind. Beautiful. I remembered her observing, serious eyes for her age; I remembered her dimpled smile, her toothless grin. I remembered her beautiful laughter when she was delighted; I remembered the heartbreaking sound of her cry. I could almost feel the softness of her mahogany hair; see the brightness of her face when she smiled. I smiled softly as I remembered all of the short two weeks I had with her. I hoped she forgave me when she grew up. I hoped she had a good life. I hoped Sophie taught her everything she knew, everything she stood for. I hoped she told Isabella about me. I hoped I lived in her heart all her life.

I gave in; I gave in to the tears that day. I sobbed tearlessly, all day. The day was sunny, beautiful. I remembered my human days, and wished they hadn't ended the way they did. That I had grown old, watched Isabella grow, watched her beam over her first child, watched her raise my grandchildren. I didn't see Aro the whole day, the same for every other guard in Volterra. They understood I needed a day alone to mourn, to cry. To hope, and to smile over my human memories. To just be myself, and not be bothered by the Volturi's harsh ways. I liked it there, but it was time to move on. It was time to seek the luck, seek the happiness. Time to explore the world.

So I did. A few years later, I said my goodbyes with Aro, Caius and Marcus.

Aro was sad that I left, that I didn't choose to stay. But I knew it wasn't my destiny to be with the Volturi. I had to move on and live this dreaded life as well as possible.

I was on a new adventure. I was headed to America.

Life in America was great. People had come from all over the world, and learned to mingle with each other, understand each other's language. The language spoken was mostly English though. I got a job at a hospital - nightshifts - in Mississippi, and I was amused by the humans living there. They found my accent funny; they had looked at me like I was an alien when I first got there. They obviously hadn't listened to themselves. But other than my accent, they also found my formal tone amusing. I was raised in the mid 1600's it was really no wonder. But of course, I couldn't tell them I was born in 1640ies now could I? No, definitely not. People was scared of me enough already. I was glad that the Vampire-hauntings had passed a long time ago; it would have been dreadful to hide away from the world and not see what I experienced.

It was a magnificent sight to see the world evolve and mature. But as time flew by and year after year passed, I became lonelier than I ever thought I would. I missed companionship, I missed a friend. I missed someone to speak with, someone whom might understand. The nomads I here and there spoke with moved on; they didn't like to stay in the same area too long. I didn't like their way of life, but I was happy with their presence.

Over the years, I moved every 5 year or so. My fortune was already over the norm of a human family, but I still chose to live in small apartments. Big places would remind me of my loneliness, so I kept to the small. If I ever, by accident, was seen in the sunlight, I was immediately on the road. It didn't happen much; I think it was only 2-3 times it happened. And it was only a second or so they would see the sparkling sight that was my skin.

I had been in almost every city that made USA. I was living in Chicago when the Spanish Influenza came. And what a dreadful experience that was. All the people dying; I could have prevented it. If only the humans knew about me, they would know I didn't need sleep; I could work at my vampire speed, I could save lives on minutely basis. But no, the rules of vampires wouldn't allow me that. I was sulking around my apartment when I walked home for the day; I worked nightshifts. Sometimes, I stayed an extra hour or two, but the nurses didn't really notice; there were so many sick, so little time and we weren't enough doctors.

My favorite patient though, was always Elizabeth. She was a fragile human, but she fought against the illness as an ox. She was strong, confident in me. I became attached to her; she was like Sophie in many ways. Never did I fall in love with the woman; actually, I didn't fall in love with anyone for centuries. But Elizabeth reminded me of Sophie; she was strong, intelligent, caring and not afraid of anything. Her only fear was to lose her son to the disease; Edward. Edward was ill as well, and I felt sympathy for him. He was handsome and strong as his mother. He was the kind of boy I would have wanted to see my Isabella with. When he was awake he was polite and listened to what I told him. He was intelligent and even though he was sick and had lost a father, he made jokes. He was funny, but the disease quickly caught up with him, and he was dying before my eyes. Elizabeth was in an even worse state, and there was no hope for her. Her heartbeat got slower and fainter by the hour and her fever was lethal for a human. But she held on for life, until she spoke with me for the last time.

She loved her son dearly, and she didn't want him to die. I think she figured out what I was, but she wasn't afraid of me. No, not afraid at all.

I remembered clearly what she had said, the minutes before her death; her temperature was sky-high, but she looked me deep in the eyes despite that. Her eyes swam and were slightly unfocused, but she held my gaze. She took my hand and said to me; "You must do everything in your power. What others cannot do, that is what you must do for my Edward." And then, she looked me sternly in the eyes, and hers fluttered close. Her heartbeat went silent. It pained me that she had to die, but I also wondered if she really wanted her son to become like me. I figured she didn't want her son to die; he was 17 and had barely begun his life. I had long mused about how it would be like to create a new friend, and Elizabeth, she had just practically begged me to safe Edward's life. And she didn't look peaceful as all the other dead humans did. It was like she was frowning, urging me to bite her son. Urging me to save him from his death.

So I took it upon me to fulfill Elizabeth Mason's death wish; I saved her son.

I wasn't sure how to do it, but I thought back to my own creation; I had been bitten and then left alone to burn in three days.

Edward was so close to his death, I had to hurry if his heart was to perform the change. Unsure of myself, I gave it a try.

"I am sorry Edward, but it is the only way." I whispered in his ear before sinking my teeth through his skin and bit him, let the venom change his body into one, which couldn't as easily die.

I had driven both him and his mother to the morgue, from where I stole Edward's body with me home. I still didn't see the need of a car, even though I had money enough to buy one. It was one of those new inventions, a really strange one if you asked me. It was amusing to see the large wagons drive around on four wheels, only on the force of fuel. It didn't drive that fast though; it was nowhere close to reach my speed.

As I came to work the night after that, I checked the morgue. Elizabeth was still there, and strangely enough, she looked peaceful now. I felt a strange wind around me; it was as if she thanked me, but after a second, it was gone. I smiled to myself, and walked into the hospital to work my shift.

Edward woke up three days later as predicted. He was as beautiful as every vampire, and he was polite and sweet as he had been in the hospital.

But he was so very confused. Mainly because of all the new impressions he got, but he kept telling me not to scream at him; even though I had not said a single word.

I was astonished when I found out that must be because he had a gift. He could read my mind.

"Son, you have to come with me now, I will explain everything later. Your throat must be aching, follow me. I promise you, I pose no threat to you. I want to help you." I told him, and he eagerly followed me. We went on our first hunting trip together, but he did not seem satisfied with the animal blood as I.

"Edward, I know this must be very confusing. You know what you have become do you not?" I asked him. He raised an eyebrow and nodded.

"It seems that you can read my mind. To test that theory, I'll think of a number..." I thought of Choco's birthday 1391676

"1391676. And something about Choco...?" I stared at him.

"It seems like you have a gift Son." I smiled at him, and he smiled carefully back.

"My name is Carlisle. I would prefer if you called me that, and not 'Dr. Cullen'... I have been a vampire ever since the 1676 I think. I only remember the year 1676 because my daughter was born in that year. And I'm sure of it. 13th September 1676, the happiest day of my life." I smiled sadly and remembered my change and how I was torn away from my lovely daughter.

"I am sorry Carlisle." Edward said softly, probably seeing everything I did.

"Thank you." I replied.

We ran back to the house I was living in, and sat down.

"As you know, you're a vampire. But there are certain things you need to know." He nodded.

"Vampires are incredibly fast, have perfect senses, impossible strength and we do not sleep. We don't eat human food, we don't drink water; we don't age. We live off of animal blood - well I do, and a coven up north in Alaska- normal vampires drink human blood. I have never tasted human blood-" I cut myself off, and re-lived my first year as a vampire, for him to understand. When he nodded his understanding, I continued.

"In Volterra, Italy lives an old coven. Or more a guard; the Volturi, they are called. Aro, Caius and Marcus are brothers and the masters in the guard. Aro is a mind reader - like you, though he needs physically contact, and then he can read every thought you have ever had - Marcus can read the bonds between people, and Caius does not have a gift. The guard is only Vampires with gifts; only one is there without a gift, but he has incredible strength, much stronger than normal vampires." I took a breath and continued.

"Aro treasures power; he's a collector. Caius is rather blood-thirsty and Marcus always seemed bored. They have been vampires for over 2900 years, and they are the most powerful coven out there. They are the police if you will, to the vampire world. There is only one main rule; keep the secret. You can't walk out in the sunlight, you can't hunt where others can see you, and you must not create immortal children. Never do such a thing; the children are beautiful but cannot be controlled. They are stuck forever in their development and they can't learn how to control themselves, like they can't learn how to read and talk and write. It's impossible for them, and therefore they cannot exist." I smiled at him calmly and he returned it.

"What happens when we go out in sunlight?" He asked.

"We sparkle." It was the truth. He started laughing at that, why, was beyond me.

"We sparkle?" I frowned

"Yes, we sparkle." I said, and showed him a memory of my sparkling skin.

"Oh. We do sparkle." He said, and I grinned slightly at him.

And that was how I got my first companion to this everlasting life.

Edward and I became really good friends, he was like the son I never had. But he could never replace the space Choco held in my heart. But I wasn't lonely anymore, I was happier than I had been for 200 years.

Edward and I travelled from Chicago to Alaska where I wanted the Denali sisters to meet Edward. I must say Tanya seemed to like him a lot. Maybe too much. Edward was polite, but rejected her. It made sense, that he was not ready for commitment so soon after his change. Kate and Irina seemed to like him too. Maybe it was his quiet kindness and gentleman manners or his looks. He was quite handsome, even for a vampire.

One year, I even took him to the Volturi for them to meet him. Aro was perhaps a bit too interested in Edward's gift. We didn't stay long.

I remembered the day I came home with Esme. Edward was horrified for the poor woman's choice. We got her story when she woke up; she jumped off a cliff because she lost her little son. I bonded with her on a whole new level; she was beautiful, sweet, caring, intelligent - everything I could have ever looked for in a woman. She was understanding, and sorry for the loss of my child. I missed Isabella every single day of the forever I lived, but first Edward and now Esme helped a lot, and I was no longer lonely. I had a family now. Esme was everything to me, and Edward was like our son. We were a happy little family, and Esme found out she was especially good at decorating and designing houses. We moved around as always, sometimes Edward and Esme worked too, but it was mainly me that earned the money.

After about 10 years while Esme had been with us, Edward grew tired of never being fully satisfied by the animal blood. He grew tired of being alone in eternity, tired of almost everything. He left Esme and me.

"Edward, honey, please don't leave me. My son, please" Esme sobbed. She was hugging him tightly, trying to force him to stay.

"Esme. Please, I need a few years on my own. You'll see me again at some point, I'm sure of it." He answered her lowly. They were really close too, just like Edward and I, and Esme and I. He thought of her as a mother in some way, I think.

Esme sobbed and looked brokenheartedly at him.

"Please son. Don't forget me. Come back to us, soon." She whispered. It was hard on her to let him go; she had already lost one son, it must be so difficult.

"Edward, son, good luck. You must come back and at least visit though." He nodded, and shook my hand. I pulled him into a hug, and clapped his back. Then he left, and we didn't see or hear from him for a long time.

"He is really gone." Esme sobbed. I hugged her tight and kissed her forehead.

"He'll come back, you'll see, he'll come back." I said to her. She nodded into my chest and whispered that she hoped so.

The years passed and Edward didn't come back. We had to move, but Esme wasn't too fond of that idea. She still believed Edward would come back. She was very sad the first year we lived alone in the new house. But as time passed, she became happier and happier, but you could still see a ghost of sadness in her eyes. She missed a family, but she hid it well. I knew exactly how she felt; I had had a family and had been without it for 200 years. But now, she was my family. She healed me. I was not wounded anymore, but the feeling was still there.

When we had lived for 2 years at the new place in New York, we finally heard from Edward. One day, I was home from the hospital and Esme flittered around as always, when there was a knock on the door.

It was raining and far out in the horizon, you could hear thunder; if you were a vampire that is.

Outside in the rain, stood Edward, dripping wet and with amber eyes. Clearly, you could see he had been feeding of off humans, but tried to adapt to the animal lifestyle again.

A smile spread across my face at the sight of my son.

"Welcome home son, welcome home." at those words, Esme ran at full speed to the door, and trapped Edward in a bone crushing hug. He smiled sadly.

"Hi Esme. Hello Carlisle." he whispered; the emotion evident in his eyes.

"Edward! You must be, be..." she couldn't find the right word. I smiled at the thought.

"Tired of being a monster? Sick of making you miserable? Both Esme, both. And more to." He said lowly. Esme looked like she could cry; if she had been able to that is. She shook with sobs of happiness, and practically dragged Edward inside; commanded him to take a shower and get some fresh clothes. She had brought everything of Edward's with us; "what if he comes? You never know, Carlisle, you never know." And she was right, he did come back.

I could tell Edward felt bad. He had a twinge of sadness permanently set in his eyes. I wish I could remove it; he came back, he had nothing to be sorry for. I understood why he left; many times had I had to struggle to not just give in and live like a nomad for the rest of eternity. But I had had Isabella as a reminder to stay good; Edward had no one. He felt bad for taking lives, but as I understood, he had only been drinking the criminals; the one hurting and planning to hurt other humans.

There we go, a little insight in Carlisle's life.. A little time-skip, and we'll be going back once it's Bella's POV again, but I hope it won't confuse too much :)

Love,

Lu