I'm terribly sorry for the very late update. I've written this chapter since January but I couldn't get a satisfied ending until now. Maybe most of you would think that how the matter between the twins and their mother is resolved lacks something, but for me it's the best resolve they could get. So I apologize if you feel disappointed in this chapter. m(_ _)m

And, here it is, the last chapter :)

I do not own Hetalia

"Do you really see a point in telling me that?" Romano says darkly, stabbing his food with more force than needed. "Are you really that stupid, Feliciano?"

"I know you'll be mad, but…" Feliciano twirls his carbonara with his fork but doesn't seem eager to eat it. "Can't you… give mom a chance, fratello?"

"No." Romano replies curtly, frowning darkly at him. "You are very well aware of that."

"But-"

"I'm doing the dishes." The older Italian cuts him off and stands up, taking his unfinished meal to the sink. Feliciano lets out a sad sigh before reluctantly brings the food to his mouth.

-colorful wall-

"Your mother wants you two to come live with her?"

Romano nods, a frown has etched itself deeply on his face. He absently swings his leg beneath the bench, brushing Antonio's a couple of times but neither seem to mind. The evening air is cold and somehow wet from the rain that has been pouring for several days, but today the sky is clear and the ground is dry. They are sitting on the bench in their favorite park, not too far from Feliciano's workplace. The park and the bench seem to have become their spot to stop for a while when Romano is in bad mood or something is bothering him.

"I guess you don't want to,"

"Of course not, you asshole!" Romano snaps hotly at him, kicking a dirt under his shoes with more force than necessary. "Are you seriously expecting me to come live with that…" His breath hitches on the last word and he looks away, still burning with anger.

"Roma, take a breath," Antonio wraps one arm around the other's shoulder and squeezes gently. "I won't tell you to go with your mom, but I guess that it won't be good if you think about something while you're angry."

"It doesn't matter whether I'm angry or not," Romano mumbles, still refusing to face him but doesn't resist the gesture. His anger seems to dissipate a little as he blows air through his nose. "Maybe I've been spending those 13 years after that damn incident being angry all the time, but my decision won't fucking change just because I'm calm."

"Have you ever been calm?" Antonio teases him lightly, letting a smile light his face. He earned a glare from the Italian, his unseeing golden eyes say, "Is it really the time for that, you fucking douchebag?". That sends Antonio into a fit of light chuckle, that soon changes into a grimace as Romano punches his arm. It's half-hearted, but still hurt enough for him to whine. "Roma, that's mean."

"You deserved that," Romano throws him another glare. "I was being serious, and you chose the wrong time to joke."

"I know, but you need to loosen up a bit," As Romano opens his mouth to argue, Antonio puts a hand to his lips to stop him. "I'm not making light of your situation, but you really need to calm down just a bit, Romano."

Reluctantly, Romano pulls away, the frown is still on his face. They're silent for a moment, listening to the soft whistle of the night breeze blowing gently around them as the sky starts to darken.

"I hate her," Romano's voice is firm, and Antonio can't help but noticing the hint of desperate resolution in it. "I am angry about that incident, but that's not the only reason why I hate her." His eyes are distant for a moment as he let his words come out more softly. "She said she would come back for us, but she never did."

Antonio stays silent, letting the other sink into his own train of thought. He watches the cheerful lights of the shops along the street, people passing by wrapped in coat and grocery bags in hands, and he tries to imagine how it feels to be waiting.

"Even in Grandpa's house, we were waiting," Romano continues, even though his tone is bitter, his eyes are full of nostalgia, not a good one as it is, it's still a memory. "Silly, because she never came."

"You miss her," Antonio says softly, turning his head slightly to look at the Italian. Romano scowls lightly.

"Feliciano misses her."

"You do too."

"Shut up." Just like that, he successfully silenced the other with his unspoken plea not to talk about that anymore.

Antonio lets his eyes wander back to the street and tries to imagine how it feels to be waiting once again.

-colorful wall-

The next morning, the sky is clear and the sun is shining, basking the little plants on the window sill with its warm ray. Feliciano hums lightly as he makes coffee for their breakfast, the sound of shower from the bathroom calms him down with the assurance only the morning routines can bring.

Right when he sets the cups down on the table, Romano comes out from their room, his dark hair is still damp from the shower and the towel is draped on his shoulder. He sits down and trails his hand carefully around until it finds its way to the cup.

"Good morning, fratello," Feliciano greets him with a smile, his voice is light in the small room. Romano answers him with a nod and sips his coffee. They have their breakfast in a content silence for a moment, the sound of cars from outside creates an assuring background song to their morning life.

"Feli,"

"Ve… yes?"

Romano pauses, contemplating on the right word, just the right word to sound his thought out. He can feel Feliciano eyeing him from across the table, and he swallows. He makes sure his voice is firm when he speaks.

"You want to go with her, don't you?"

Feliciano's grip around his cup tightens a bit and he suddenly finds the pattern of the wooden table is so interesting. "Ve… I…"

"I won't be mad, I won't yell at you, so…" Romano's voice is firm, but his tone is gentle, which is really uncharacteristic for his spitfire nature. He swallows down another wave of bitterness before continuing. "Just be honest with me."

"I want to be with you, fratello." Feliciano replies with the first thing that comes into his mind upon his brother's words, but sadly it isn't the only thing in his mind. He bites his lower lip and tries to decipher the look on his brother's face, but Romano's scowl seems the same like the one he always wears.

"Be honest with me. I know you miss her."

"Ve… I…" His brother told him to be honest, but he knows that Romano won't be happy with his answer. His brother will be angry, or sad, and Feliciano doesn't want that. He swallows down his honesty and tries to say something else, something reassuring, but Romano speaks again.

"Do I have to fucking say it so you will?" The swearing rolls out lightly, harmlessly, and Romano stifles a weary sigh. "Please."

Feliciano stares at his brother wide-eyed. His stubborn and prideful brother has just said please? He notices the light blush that has come into his brother's face and how he looks away after the word. If only the situation isn't as serious as it is, Feliciano would have smiled on the sight. But now it just makes him feel cold inside.

His brother has willingly thrown away his pride for his honest answer, and if he doesn't do it, it will be a disrespect to his brother, and that is the last thing Feliciano would want in this situation. He just hopes that this won't have to be so difficult.

"I do miss mom," He starts hesitantly, watching his brother intently for a change of expression, but aside of the blush that has slowly faded, Romano's expression doesn't change. "She used to sing to us, read storybooks to us before we slept, give us hugs and kisses when we were sad,"

Romano opens his mouth to cut him off, but on the last moment he decides against it and lets his brother continue.

"I know you're mad that mom left, and… and because she was responsible for what happened, but…" Feliciano swallows thickly, listening to the horns of cars outside and waiting for his brother to say something or snap, but Romano only listens and doesn't say anything. "But I don't know if I hate her or not." He trails the surface on the coffee cup absently, staring at the dark liquid inside and noticing how much it reminds him of darkness, thick and swirling and swallowing, the darkness of the silence of that unforgettable night. "It's really confusing. I still don't know the answer even now."

"You're too stupidly kind for your own good," Romano mumbles, trailing his hand absently along the table's surface until he feels a patch of sunlight on it and stops. "But you didn't answer my question."

"Fratello, won't you leave it at that?" Even though he sounds close to pleading, Feliciano doesn't say please, and that's what pushing Romano not to do that, not to leave the matter at that. Feliciano is indeed too kind for his own good, that he never thinks about himself. He has only ever thought about people around him, and Romano hates and loves that side of his brother, not that he'll admit it. He has once thought that maybe he's the only one who can make Feliciano be selfish, after their fight several months ago, but he has to begrudgingly think otherwise when Ludwig became an important someone in his brother's life and will take his position and privileges someday in the future.

"Feli, for this once, think about yourself and what you want, and not me or other people. You're not as stupid as I thought so I know you can do that much."

His brother is cornering him, and Feliciano wants to say how unfair it is, but he doesn't have any say in this because Romano sounds like he won't take no for an answer. His brother wants him to be selfish for once. The question is, can he?

"You want to go live with her, don't you?"

"I want to be with you."

The answer is enough to make Romano sheds his uncharacteristically calm expression and scowls at him, his golden eyes flashing dangerously, but Feliciano holds his ground, although he's tipping close to the edge. After several seconds that feel like hours, the older Italian breaks it first, sighing loudly into the air. "You're so damn stubborn." He runs a hand through his hair and lets out another short sigh before turning his face back to his brother, his eyes are narrowed resolutely.

"Feli, I'll say this again. For this once, think for yourself and only yourself. You can't be happy by thinking for other people's happiness forever. Sometimes, you need to be selfish for you to be happy. You haven't been for ages, and no one will blame you if you actually do now."

He rises from his seat, taking the empty cup in his hand. Feliciano stays still on his spot, his conflicting mind is made visible from the way his eyes are narrowed and how his lips are pressed into thin line. Romano finishes washing the cup and is making his way to their bedroom when he finally speaks. "How about you, fratello?"

Romano pauses, turning around and scowling lightly to him. "I won't go with her."

"If I… If I go," Feliciano's throat suddenly feels dry on the thought, but he's said it and there's no back down now. He can't deny that he has been thinking about that, and he has been reminiscing a lot since their meeting with their mother. "What about you?" Maybe, maybe he can really go with mother? Seeing her smile and feeling her warmth and having the warmth of a family once again? He can't deny that he has been wishing for that since long ago. He loves his brother, but he wants to have a family once again.

"I'll be fine," Romano replies sharply, turning around so his back is facing him. "Didn't I say that you don't need to think about other people at least just this once?"

"You are not other people," Feliciano knows that his weak statement is futile. Romano can see right through it, to his wish deep down inside. He hates himself of how he can think of a possibility to feel the happiness of a family once again without his brother there with him, but he just can't erase the thought from his mind. And Romano knows about that.

"I'll be fine," Romano emphasizes each word, carefully but not so successfully hiding his bitterness. "Be selfish for this once, fratello, for your own happiness."

And then he's out of the room and Feliciano is left in the small kitchen with the sound of the cars outside and the large patch of sunlight on the dining table, alone with his raging thoughts.

-colorful wall-

Feliciano can't concentrate the whole day. He keeps forgetting the customers' orders and falling deep into his thought several times which makes him slam into people surprisingly often even for someone like him. At the end of lunch time, Boss puts a hand on his shoulder and tells him to take a break, he can't have a troubled person work in his diner. He says it with a playful smile, but his eyes are concerned. Feliciano tries to smile back to him, but Boss squeezes his shoulder understandingly and leads him outside to the sun-bathed street crowded with people.

Feliciano wheels slowly to the nearby park, his mind isn't really into the chore as it plays his brother's words early that morning repeatedly in his head. He stops next to a bench and lowers his head, letting the afternoon sun warm the back of his head and hoping that by doing that, he can think more clearly. He doesn't know how long he stays like that but then there's someone towering over him, blocking the blindingly hot sunlight, and he hears a familiar voice.

"What are you doing?"

Feliciano lifts his head and smiles brightly, feeling the burden in his chest lightened on the sight of the familiar tall and broad figure with tidily combed blonde hair and stern but concerned blue eyes. "Ludwig!"

Ludwig didn't anticipate an armful of red-headed Italian leaping into him and he certainly didn't expect a pair of arms locking around his neck in an almost desperate hug. He stammers and sways slightly for a risky moment before he regains his balance and wraps his arms around the smaller figure to keep it steady. "Feliciano, what-"

"Veee… What should I do, Ludwig?" Feliciano croaks lightly into the crook of his neck, ignoring how the German's ears turn red on the gesture.

Ludwig regains his composure and lets out a sigh. Somehow, he has expected those words to come, seeing that it's always the first thing Feliciano says whenever something is troubling him. "What happened?"

Feliciano tells him the whole conversation he had with his brother that morning, nestling safely on his wheelchair, a position which Ludwig insisted for him to adopt instead of swinging dangerously on his neck. After (only) five minutes and five intakes of breath and many exasperated raised-brow from Ludwig's side, they both fall into a silence.

"What should I do?" Feliciano says after the awkward moment of silence, fiddling with the loose thread of his pants.

"It seems to me your brother has given you the freedom to choose," Ludwig turns to look at him from his seat on the bench just next to the Italian's wheelchair. He jerks back slightly in surprise when Feliciano's head snaps to the side to look at him, his golden eyes glimmering with frustration.

"That's the problem!" The Italian cries out, surprising a flock of pigeon and sending them flying back into the sky. "How can I choose between… between fratello and mom? I want to live with mom, but I can't leave fratello alone!" He buries his face in his opened palms and lets out a heavy sigh, letting the weight that has been squeezing his heart out into the open air.

Ludwig always makes him feel safe. He feels that he can always tell the German everything. Even the things he can't say to his brother, he can say it so freely, so easily to Ludwig. Ludwig gives him another sort of safe feeling that's different to the one his brother offers. And Feliciano is glad that he's here now with him, because he doesn't think he can bear it any longer.

"I know he gets alone easily, just like me. But… But… what makes it harder is that he never shows it. He never shows that he's hurt, or he's lonely, or he's sad. He told me to be selfish for once, but how can I if he never does?" His voice raises slightly in volume as he lets the words he couldn't just say to his brother's face out. "This is just so difficult."

Ludwig is silent for a moment, letting the other calm down a bit before speaking again, firmly but surprisingly soft. "People has to make choice in their life." His face softens on the sight of Feliciano's distressed face. "Sometimes, there are sacrifices that are needed to be made, along with the choice. You can't please everyone."

"But…" Feliciano lets his next words die in his mouth. He feels guilty that he's actually trying to justify himself by accepting Ludwig's words inside his heart, although a little part of it disagrees. He bites his lower lip instead, squeezing the fabric of his pants and watching it crinkles beneath his fingers.

"Your brother has given you a chance," Ludwig tries not to sound persuasive, because as much as he doesn't intend to be, he has to admit the words do sound like that. He doesn't want to give Feliciano more turmoil when he has already had so much of it in his mind, so he chooses his next words carefully without losing the firm tone, hoping to comfort the Italian in the only way he knows how. "If you want to do something for him, do as he said. I believe that he meant it when he said that, despite his personality."

Feliciano lets his words sink into him for a moment, listening to the sound of the birds' wings flapping and the voices of the cars and passersby from the street. He closes his eyes and let the comforting cool of the darkness soothe his burning eyelids. He's thankful that Ludwig stays silent, emitting the comfort and assurance just by sitting there beside him.

-colorful wall-

"For Heaven's sake, what are you doing, Feliciano?" Romano groaned from his bed, struggling to get his heavy eyelids open. Not that it made much of a difference, he thought bitterly, but shrugged it aside and pulled himself into a sitting position, concentrating to the pitiful sob of his brother coming from the floor.

"I fell…" Feliciano hiccupped, wiping the fat tears rolling from his eyes with his small palm. "I-I forgot that I have to… to get onto the wheelchair first." He sniffed louder, lamenting on his body's unmoving lower part from the waist down despite his hardest effort to get it to move. He heard Romano's sigh from the other bed and a soft 'thud' followed by soft and careful footsteps making their way around his bed and to his side. He lifted his tear-stained face and saw his brother knelt down next to him, his scowling feature was only slightly visible in the dark room illuminated by the moonlight.

"For now, let's get you onto the damn thing," Romano muttered, extending both arms to him. A small smile found its way into Feliciano's face and he happily scooted closer to his brother, wrapping his arms around Romano's neck as the older twin heaved him by his armpits with a grunt. "Where's that fucking thing?"

Feliciano glanced from his shoulder to the silent wheelchair sitting next to his bed. "Beside my bed."

"Are you dumb or what? I mean the direction!" Romano hissed breathlessly, glaring to the empty air.

"Ve, sorry…" Feliciano's voice faltered slightly on the realization. "U-uumm, two steps straight then turn left." He gripped slightly harder as Romano took a hesitant step forward, then two, before turning left like he told him.

"The damn thing's there?" Romano grunted, sounding out of breath. Feliciano nodded and felt his body being lowered slowly onto the wheelchair. He didn't let go until he was safely seated.

"There," Romano huffed, scowling at him.

"Ve, grazie, grazie, fratello!" He captured his brother in a hug, nuzzling his face happily into the other's hair.

"Yeah, yeah," Romano pushed him away after a moment, still scowling. "Now let me go back to sleep." He turned but hadn't even taken the first step when he felt a tug on his sleeve. He suppressed the irritated groan from escaping his lips and turned to his brother again, spitting his words out despite his effort. "What is it this time, Feli?"

"Restroom," If his brother didn't stop from being vague, he would have to truly give him a piece of his mind this time, and not just a threat like usual. "Go with me, please?"

Romano stifled a sigh and tried to glare at his brother. "Feliciano, you're fucking 10! Can't you go there by yourself? You didn't even read horror story today."

Feliciano shook his head and tugged harder. He kept tugging until Romano yanked his hand away from him and snapped with a low voice, "Fine, fine! Let's go." He smiled happily and took his brother's hand in his, which the older boy didn't resist, to his happiness. He led Romano slowly to the door, their hands locked in each other, and the older Italian pressed the handle and let the door swung open. They walked into the dark and silent hallway, with trails of moonlight from the window and the singing of the nightingales outside. Feliciano squeezed his brother's hand tighter. Romano frowned but didn't say anything, and they started their way to the restroom at the end of the hallway.

They arrived at their destination quicker than they ever had and walked back to their room with their hands locked in each other again. Feliciano could wheel by himself at this point, but he knew his brother still needed someone to guide him through the house, even though it was familiar. He didn't mind to be slowed down a bit. After all, Romano always helped him up again onto his wheelchair whenever he fell, and only complained half-heartedly because he hadn't mastered how to get to it from his bed.

They made it back into the room and Romano waited until Feliciano had moved onto his bed before he himself climbed onto his. But just as he pulled the cover to his chin and was ready to fall asleep again, Feliciano's small voice snapped him back to wake. "Fratello,"

Romano had to suppress another curse word and rolled on his bed to face his brother. "What is it now?!"

"V-ve…" Feliciano sunk slightly into his cover, his large eyes peeked hesitantly above it. "K-kiss me? Like mom always did?"

Romano's breath hitched in his throat and he stayed still for several seconds. Feliciano waited anxiously. "Please?"

Without a word, Romano climbed down his bed and took a step forward to his brother's bed before bowing down and placing a surprisingly soft kiss on his forehead. Feliciano giggled and muttered a thanks, watching his brother climbed back onto his own bed and buried himself in the cover with his back facing him.

Feliciano didn't fall asleep right then. He stared mutely at the night sky visible from the window and tried to remember his mother's voice and her smile. With a feeling of relief that he hadn't forgotten, Feliciano let his eyes fall closed.

-colorful wall-

When he picks Romano up from his workplace like usual that evening, Antonio doesn't notice anything visibly different. Romano is scowling like usual and smacks his head like usual when he tries to hug him. But when they has fallen into steps side by side on the street, he notices the uneasy look in Romano's face and the restlessness in his steps.

"Roma, something's wrong?"

"Nothing," Romano replies, a little too quick, and shoves his hands into his pocket.

Antonio frowns. "Something in your mind?"

"Nothing!" Romano snaps without looking at him, setting his gaze ahead. Antonio notices how his jaw tightens and his posture is uncomfortably rigid as he walks. He doesn't press again along the way, but he stops Romano at their park, placing both hands on his shoulders.

"You know you can talk to me, right?" He says softly, squeezing the other's shoulders comfortingly.

"Goddammit! Nothing's wrong, Antonio!" Romano exclaims loudly, glaring at him through his bangs.

"Your body speaks otherwise," Antonio counters calmly, resisting a smile as Romano flushes lightly in anger. But on the next moment there's a blur of speed coming from below him and he manages to dodge a punch directed to his jaw in time. Antonio takes a step back, his eyes widening in shock and lifting both hands in defense. "That… is not cute at all, Roma."

"Not trying to be." The Italian grumbles in response. "Who are you anyway? A psychiatrist?" Romano scoffs angrily and crosses his hands on his chest, his face still red. "Stop being so goddamn stubborn all the time."

"I will, when you speak what's inside your mind instead of keeping it bottled up inside." Romano looks ready to punch him again, but after several moments fuming on his spot, he deflates and huffs angrily into the open air. Antonio takes that as a safe cue to approach him. "Roma?"

"Fine, you motherfucker stubborn bastard," He spits each word more harshly than usual and stomps away to their usual bench, plopping himself down begrudgingly, but his body doesn't lose its uneasy posture. Antonio sits down beside him and turns his face to look at him, giving the other his full attention. Romano blows air through his nose once and frowns for several seconds before speaking.

"I talked to Feliciano this morning about the goddamn offer that woman said in her letter."

Antonio nods silently, urging him to continue. "I told him he can be selfish for at least this once and consider the offer."

"And what did he say?"

"He kept being a dumb idiot and saying that he wants to be with me, when I know he actually wants to go live with her." He clicks his tongue in mild irritation. "That kid can't be a jerk even for once. He's too kind for his own good." The words sound almost wistful to Antonio's ears, but he patiently waits without saying anything.

"I called her." Romano says after a minute of silence. "She'll come tonight. Maybe she's already there at the diner."

Antonio stares at him wide-eyed, his mind goes into a full scale process trying to register what he's just heard. "You called your mother? What for?"

"Feliciano needs a little push," Romano shrugs, trying to act nonchalant. "It's obvious he wants to accept her offer. He's just worrying too much about me. She's the push he needs to make his decision."

"What makes you so sure?" Antonio eyes him, his brows furrowing disapprovingly. "Feliciano hasn't decided, has he? He'll be angry if you're like this. It's like…" He hesitates for a second. "You're deciding things for him."

"I give him a little push, that's all." Romano glares at him, but Antonio's surprised to find the defeated look on his face. "I don't force him to make either choice."

"But what makes you so sure Feliciano will go with your mom?" Antonio asks again, softer this time. Romano tears his unseeing eyes away from him and gazes resolutely forward, his frown dissipating.

"He needs a mother more than a brother," His voice is calm and surprisingly steady as he speaks. "I at least know that much."

-colorful wall-

Watching his mother's retreating figure, Feliciano is mildly surprised that he doesn't feel as sad as he expected. Instead, his choice has given him a newfound peace, firmer and stronger. Ludwig isn't there since he has promised Gilbert to go drinking with him tonight, but Feliciano makes sure to tell him first thing in the morning how thankful he is. Ludwig was the one who gave him the strength and resolution he needed to make the choice. Without him, Feliciano can't imagine how the matter will be resolved.

The chiming of the bell above the door snaps him out of his daze and a warm smile finds its way into his face on the sight of the visitors. "Fratello," Without waiting for a response, he wheels to the older Italian and takes his hand in his. Romano squirms uneasily on the contact, trying to slip his hand out of his brother's grasp but Feliciano holds it firm. Antonio smiles and squeezes his shoulder before leaving both of them alone.

The diner is surprisingly empty tonight. Boss is talking with Elizabeta in the kitchen about a new recipe and the diner is already closed, giving them the privacy they need.

"So…" Romano trails off, unsure of what to say. "How was it?"

His brother is being vague, but Feliciano understands. He smiles softly and leads Romano to a nearby seat so they're eye-level. "I'm staying with you."

He can't prevent his smile from going wider on the sight of his brother's face. Beneath the confuse and disbelief, there's a barely hidden relief. "W-what did you just say?"

"I'm staying with you," He enunciates firmly, moving his hands to cup his brother's face. Romano squats his hands away, still staring at him with a brow raised.

"What the fuck are you doing?! Do you know what that means, staying with me?" He sounds distressed, even though he's trying to sound angry.

"I make a choice," Feliciano replies lightly, but there's a firm tone in his voice. "I'm staying with you. Nothing can change my mind, not even you." He ends his sentence with a warm smile before pulling his brother into a hug, burying his face in the crook of his neck.

"You don't know what you've done, moron," Romano says faintly, inhaling deeply to ease the constrict in his throat. "You're better off with her. You don't need to work, you can get an operation for your back in no time, and…"

"My home is with you, fratello, and no one else." Feliciano can hear Romano's heart beating loudly against his chest, so close to his own. "I want to be with you, because without you then I'll be lonely, and it won't be the same, and I'll be sad, and-"

"I got your point, so no need to say more," Against his will, Romano chuckles into his shoulder, and feels Feliciano does the same. "You're so stupid, Feli."

"Veee… So mean, fratello," Feliciano pouts without releasing his brother. "You're so mean too for calling mom without me knowing like that."

"You wanted to go with her, admit it," Romano says dryly. "And I still think you made the wrong choice."

"I did, but I want to be with you more," Feliciano feels a light shove on his chest and lets go, a grin plastered on his face. "And I will never think I made a wrong choice. This is what I choose, and I know I won't regret it."

Romano eyes him for a moment, looking torn between smacking his head and breaking into tears, before in a one emotional moment pulling him into a quick hug, which surprised both of them. He breaks the hug with a red face and smacks Feliciano's head lightly, muttering, "Cocky moron," before getting to his feet and takes the handles of the younger twin's wheelchair.

That night, they sleep more soundly than they've ever had before, curling into each other's warmth and knowing that it is where they truly belong.

-5 years later-

"He's… He's just so… Argh!" Antonio watches in amusement as Romano paces in his apartment kitchen, grunting and swearing under his breath. He gazes around the room until his eyes fall to several medium-sized cardboard boxes stacked near the bedroom's door.

"Roma, what are you being so worked up for?" Antonio stifles his laughter when Romano's leg bumps against the chair's leg, sending the Italian into a new fit of curses. "The fact that Feli's moving to Ludwig's place or that he's been saving for an operation for you and has done a great job in convincing you to undergo it?"

"Both!" Romano barks at him, sending him a heated glare. "I don't like him living with that potato! And he's been an idiot for saving for the operation that only has fucking 50% success rate! He should… He should…" He groans and turns around to pace around the counter, not bumping into anything this time much to Antonio's awe. It's been 5 years since his first meeting with Romano, but the Italian never fails to amaze him with how he can walk so fast anywhere in a room without bumping into anything, although the constant foot-slamming-into-objects isn't counted. It's more to clumsiness than it is to inability.

"He should just use the money for himself!" Romano finishes, coming to a stop eventually halfway around the counter. His fists are balled, but Antonio knows it isn't from anger. It's more from exasperation.

Antonio lifts himself to his feet and walks to the Italian, stopping behind him and wrapping his arms around the other's waist. "You know he's happy to do that, Roma. Just like you are when you do the same for him." He chuckles lightly. "Besides, you got into an agreement with him that you'll do it if he has the operation he needs first. So you two are even. It's really adorable though that both of you were doing the same thing, for the same reason."

Romano huffs, feeling warmth creeping into his face from the Spaniard's gesture. "I still don't like it that he's going to live with that potato-face." He hears laughter emanating from the chest he's pressed to, warm and bubbling with life.

"It'll be okay. Feli's so happy and Ludwig's a nice guy. They'll do just fine." Antonio kisses the top of his head. "But will you be okay, Romano?"

"That idiot little brother asked the same thing," Romano scoffs, leaning back onto Antonio's chest. The Spaniard's presence makes him feel safe and warm, and somehow it calms him down. "The potato's apartment is just down the damn street. I'll be fine."

"I'll visit as often as I can," Antonio promises, squeezing the other gently.

"I'll be fine," Romano elbows him half-heartedly. "I don't need extra dose of your stupidity for a day."

Antonio laughs into the air, ignoring another rib-bruising elbow he gets in response. They stay like that in comfortable silence until Feliciano gets home.

-colorful wall-

The autumn night has just descended when Romano leaves Feliciano's room with much fussing from his part and assurance that yes, he'll call if he needs something, he won't call just because he has nightmares about a green-eyed monster with a gun stealing his tomatoes, from Feliciano's part. The older Italian leaves with Antonio, promising his brother that he'll come to visit again the next day and throwing an unconvinced side glance that he thought is unseen across his shoulder to him. Feliciano giggles on the sight and sends them home with a final "See you tomorrow," and the umpteenth "I'll be fine."

It's not long after the pair left that Ludwig comes, seemingly slightly out of breath. Feliciano's face brightens on the sight of him. "Ludwig! You came, ve!"

"Sorry I'm late," The German walks across the room and sits down on the simple folding chair next to the bed. He smells lightly of gasoline and smoke, and he still has his working clothes on under his jacket. The blue-green pants have some gasoline stain and the boots are slightly greasy, but his blonde hair is still combed neatly back even when he's not longer working in the office that requires him to be present as such. Some things just never change.

"It's okay," Feliciano smiles happily to him. "I'm happy that you came, ve. Was it busy today?"

"Yes, it was," Ludwig nods, eyeing him up and down. "How was the operation?"

"It was a success," A grin spreads on the Italian's face. He feels all hopeful and giddy inside. He has never really dreamed that he will finally walk on his own two feet again and he still can't quite believe that several months recovery after operation is all he needs for that. "I still can't really believe it, ve."

"Well, you've spent more than ten years of your life sitting in a wheelchair without any chance to walk with your own feet, so that is to be expected." Ludwig's gaze stray to the silent wheelchair sitting next to the window, bathed in the last light of the day as the sun sets. Feliciano follows his eyes and upon seeing what he's looking at, smiles almost wistfully.

"It'll be a lie if I say I won't miss it," He speaks with a tone that sounds almost too cheerful. "It's been kind of like my friend in all those years anyway, ve."

His eyes widen slightly when he feels a hand is placed on his head, patting his hair gently. He turns around and locks eyes with Ludwig's blue orbs. The German is smiling a half-smile and his eyes are surprisingly warm, exposing the softer side of him that's only showed to a few certain people. The gesture shown from his side is rare, that Feliciano chooses to stay silent and relaxes into his touch, closing his eyes and inhaling his familiar scent of gasoline and leather.

But then the spell is broken and Ludwig retracts his hand abruptly, a shade of pink tinting his cheeks. Feliciano almost giggles on the sight, but thinks better of it. Ludwig has still not used to affectionate gestures even after those five long years they spent together, although the Italian himself is one that shows such feeling openly.

The tension between them is awkward for a moment until Ludwig clears his throat, obviously trying to regain his cool and relieve the tension although the Italian doesn't seem disturbed by the slightest. "But still, it's great that you can walk again soon."

"Yep," Feliciano nods fervently, the bright smile has found its way back into his face and somehow melting the wistful expression earlier. "And you don't have to re-furnish your apartment just to give me bigger space anymore, ve." He chuckles at the expression the other makes. "Gilbert told me. He says something like, 'he must like you an awful lot if he goes out of his way, even stepping out of his comfort zone just to make you happy. Well, it's not like we don't know that he likes you so awesomely much before. Kesesese…'" He ends his little performance with a cackle sounding so much like Gilbert's that Ludwig shudders. When the words and the realization have finally registered, he can't suppress a sigh from escaping his lips. He really can't rely on his brother for keeping secrets, can he?

"Don't be angry to Gil, ve. I'm happy that you'll do that much for me, Ludwig, although you don't have to, because just being with you makes me happy. You don't need to do anything else to make me happy, ve." Feliciano's smile is so bright and so genuine, that Ludwig feels overwhelmed for a moment. He feels a small smile creeping into his face as he looks at the young man before him, who has gone through so much in his life but still retain his bright eyes and his genuine smile.

"I'm glad that you'll be able to walk again," He comes to a pause, contemplating of how to say the rest of the sentence. Once again, he's faced with a choice to be honest and let his comfort zone be damned for once, or keep it to himself and keep being his stern, tense self. He doesn't have to think long at the sight of Feliciano's confused face, his hazel golden eyes glimmering softly in the glowing light of the setting sun. "But even if you're not able to walk for the rest of your life, I still wouldn't change my mind." He feels his face growing hot, but he's able to finish his sentence. "I would still stay with you."

It is the closest of a confession that will ever heard from Ludwig Beilschmidt, and Feliciano realizes that. Only then that he too realizes that deep inside, he has been in fear that maybe someday Ludwig will leave him, because he's bound to his wheelchair for the remaining time of his life and he won't be able to walk side by side with him. The rare honesty and the genuine words that the German has given to him is overwhelming him with a great relief, he doesn't realize that tears are formed in his eyes and trickling down his cheeks.

When he finally notices that both his eyes and cheeks are wet, Feliciano is smiling so wide and happy, he makes the already confused Ludwig more confused as the German stumbles across the room to get him a box of tissue. He laughs when Ludwig hastily goes back to his side with the said box of tissue, assuring him that don't worry, he's alright, he's just too happy that his tears decide to join and play slide down his cheeks.

He laughs more when Ludwig gives him a bewildered look, and because he can't move from his position, he settles with holding the other's bigger, calloused hand and once again assures him that yes, he's alright, and they're going to be alright.

-colorful wall-

Antonio lets out a sigh of content as he steps into Romano's apartment, smiling a bit when he hears the other does the same. It's cold outside and even though he's stuffed his hands into his coat pockets, it proves to be futile and he's started to regret not wearing his gloves.

The small apartment is comfortably warm. Romano slips out of his shoes and steps into the kitchen, Antonio trailing behind him. The Spaniard sits himself down at one of the chairs around the table and watches as the younger man starts making coffee, walking around counter and reaching the cupboards to retrieve two cups. He's visited Romano's apartment quite often those past five years, and the Italian has made it clear for him that he can sit down anywhere he likes without asking as long as it's a chair, he's fed up with him always asking whether or not he can sit down or where he has to, Antonio recalls fondly.

"What are you smiling for, bastard?" Antonio blinks out of his daze at the familiar swearing, looking up at the cup of steaming coffee offered to him. Romano scowls to him, his own coffee on his other hand and his eyes staring ahead of him but Antonio knows the Italian is aware that he's smiling.

"Nothing, Roma. Just remembering some things." He takes the cup from the other's outstretched hand and waits until he sits down across him on the table before he takes a sip. The coffee is hot and familiar, tingling his throat with a pleasant bitterness and warming his freezing palms. He lifts his face and sees Romano frowning at him with a what-the-hell look. He chuckles on the sight. "Well, it's been five years. A lot has happened."

"Yes, it's been five fucking years," Romano cocks an eyebrow and sips his coffee. "Five fucking years with the damn economic recess, me being kicked out of my job, Feliciano got into a series of restless sleep in the nights, no wonder it took five years for my saving to finally make a damn use for its purpose."

"Well, you got a new job, Feliciano's better now, and your effort has finally paid off, so it's all settled, right?" Antonio laughs and reaches across the table to pinch his nose but Romano swats his hand away with a glare. "It's been five years. Don't you remember something else?"

It takes a moment for the words to click in the Italian's head. He sets his cup down and glares half-heartedly at the Spaniard. "Of course I remember, you bastard." His voice drops on the next words and he looks anxious. "It's your fucking promise."

Antonio frowns at the grim look at the younger man's face. Rising from his seat, he makes his way around the table and kneels down before the Italian, gripping his shoulders and turning him around gently so they are face to face.

"Then why are you looking like that, Romano?"

"Looking like what?" Romano shifts uneasily on his seat, refusing to look at the man before him. He flinches lightly when Antonio cups his face in his palms. He hasn't been responding like that to his touch anymore for the past years, that Antonio's stomach drops on the sight, but he understands. Five years trying to peel off Romano's protective layers and understanding him don't prove as fruitless as everyone might think.

"Do you think I wouldn't want to renew my promise?" Antonio's voice is gentle and he patiently waits as Romano swallows and stubbornly keeps his gaze away. "You can tell me, Romano."

"I don't see why you wouldn't." This time, Romano meets his gaze evenly, his unseeing golden eyes harden and his figure tenses just a slightly bit. "Like you've said, it's been five years. People change."

Antonio can't suppress the sigh escaping his lips. The upset must be clear in his voice that Romano's gaze waver and he looks almost guilty. Antonio retracts his hands and places them on Romano's lap, squeezing it gently. It's almost as if he's trying to comfort the younger man, but to be true, he's trying to comfort himself.

"I wouldn't. That's why I'm going to renew my promise. But before that," He pauses as his eyes find the anxiety in Romano's face, but this time he doesn't falter. "I want to tell you something."

"What?"

He slipped his palm into his coat pocket and pulled out a small, black box. His other hand finds Romano's slightly smaller one and he takes his wrist, finding a little resistance at first but then he feels it loosening, giving in to his touch.

"I ask you now because I don't want you to think that I do this because you're going to get treatment for your eyes." He pauses slightly, trying to put assurance into each word. "I don't care whether you can see or not, and that's why I will still do this even if your condition doesn't change." He feels Romano's hand tensing in his, but he gives it a firm squeeze, smiling reassuringly at the uneasy young man before him.

"If I say that when I renew my promise, it won't be for five years onward, but for the rest of my life, will you accept it?"

"W-what?" Romano's voice cracks at that, but then Antonio pulls his hand just ever so slightly down until he feels something concrete beneath his fingertips.

The small, concrete object gives way to its circular shape under his trembling fingers, and as he feels the smooth texture with the tip of his fingers, his mind finally clicks as to what the object is. His breath hitches in his throat.

"Marry me, Romano?"

Antonio's hands are warm but slightly sweaty against his, and Romano is suddenly having difficulty to breath. He can't pretend he doesn't feel Antonio's gaze on him, patiently waiting but burning him at the same time as seconds ticking by. He wants to speak, but finds his lips dry. Because that can't be true, this can't be happening.

At the same time, Antonio holds his breath and waits. He's suddenly very aware of his sore feet pinned beneath him and his sweaty palms that's getting sweatier by seconds. Both of them are unmoving and pure silence fills the room between them.

Romano's mind is in war. A part of him is screaming that he shouldn't believe that because nothing is eternal in this world. Nothing lasts forever, and so does their relationship. One day, Antonio might regret his action now and leave him, and he surely wouldn't be able to withstand it, now that he's much too attached to the Spaniard than he had anticipated. Does he really want to risk himself much more when he has been so long convinced that he should not be attached to anyone because it will only bring pain?

But then another part of him reminds him of what had happened those past years, of how life has proven not only that his fear is true, but also untrue at the same time? His mother left him, his father did a horrible thing to him. But his grandpa had come for him and his brother, Feliciano chose to stay with him on his own free will, and Antonio still cares for him, smiles to him, and stays by his side.

Some things don't last forever, but maybe some things do. And although the pain of those things that don't is greater, but the warmth and safe feeling the things that do offer is more concrete.

"Yes."

He has seen that coming when Antonio pulls him into his embrace, his chest reverberates with his joyful laughter, and Romano feels himself bordering near laughing with him or starts crying because it just feels so unreal to him. But then Antonio kisses the crown of his head and continues to his forehead, before locking his lips with his, and that, along with his strong arms wrapped around him protectively and the solid warmth of the Spaniard's body, assures him that yes, it is real.

When they finally break away, he can feel Antonio's eyes on him, and he knows that the other is smiling. He lets the smile he's been trying to suppress breaks loose into his face, and for the first time after the five years of their relationship, he feels truly safe.