Title: Just so You Know
Chapter 5: When All I Could Do is Watch
Pairing: KakaKure
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto!

"I love you, Kakashi." I heard her say, making my mouth dry… I felt numb as I looked for the right words to tell her. But the tears in her eyes started to distract me. I didn't know what to do or say. Everything confuses me. Everything happened so fast. I was in-love with Kurenai, but she's already with Asuma. Now, my best friend, Rin comes and tells me she loves me. What am I gonna do, now?

"Rin…" I said softly, not knowing what to do.

"I know you don't love me… But it's okay. I respect how you feel." She said then stood up when I caught her hand, stopping her from walking away.

"I love you too Rin." I began without thinking things through.

"You what?" she asked with a shock expression on her face.

"I love you too." I said again. 'I may be lying to myself, right now… But at least I can make her happy… The only thing I can do now is become happy for Kurenai and learn to love Rin… Maybe as time goes by… I'll learn to love her'

"Kakashi…"

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Weeks passed since the day Rin confessed to me. Our relationship started to be fine. Things were going so well between us. Though, there was one problem. I couldn't stop thinking of Kurenai. I knew I haven't stopped thinking of her and I haven't stopped loving her. I wanted to let go… I was willing to let go for Rin's sake. But I couldn't. It was always the same. I would still get lost in those crimson eyes… get mesmerized by her beauty… and lose my breath when she goes near. I couldn't help it… but I have to…

I hated the feeling that I feel every time I kiss her, every time I'm with Rin…. I feel nothing. But when I'm with Kurenai… My heart starts to pound so hard in my chest… I get so nervous and lose my breath… Everything's so wrong… I shouldn't feel that way towards her… She's with Asuma and I'm with Rin… If I tell her what I feel…It would be like betraying two of my friends… Rin and Asuma… They're both important to me and I don't want to hurt them…

"Kakashi? What are you doing here, late at night?" I heard someone call from behind, helping me snap out from my reverie and turn around to see where it came from.

"Kurenai?" I said in a tone full of disbelief. "What are you doing here?"

"I asked first…" She complained as she pouted childishly making her look really cute.

"Just… clearing my thoughts…" I replied. "So, how about you? You do know that a woman like you shouldn't be out late at night…"

"Well I couldn't sleep… I decided to go here for awhile, to get some fresh air… I didn't expect to see you here…"

"So, how are things going on with you and Asuma?" I blurted out without thinking.

"Well it's… fine…" She answered in an unsure tone.

"Just fine?" I asked suspiciously as I glanced at her and saw the sad look on her face. "I can truly sense that there's something wrong, Kurenai…"

"Well… he told me that he's leaving for a three year mission… I'm worried about him." She said as her eyes started to get watery.

"I'm sure he'll be alright…" I told her, hoping I could help her feel better. "Asuma's a strong shinobi… I'm sure he'll be able to accomplish the mission and comeback to you…" I managed to say though I felt a slight sting in my heart.

"Well..." She started to blush. "He promised me that when he comes back… he and I…."

She showed me a nice silver ring on her finger, giving me a clear hint about what will happen when he comes back… Letting me know that I'm never gonna have a chance on her.

"That's… that's very nice… I'm happy for you, Kurenai." I said forcing a smile, trying to keep myself happy inspite of the pain that I'm feeling… I felt my heart breaking into pieces as I stared at her finger. How I wish everything was just a dream… But it was all real.

"By the way, it's been a long time since you talked to me…" She pouted again. "I almost thought you've forgotten about me!"

"How could I forget you? I mean, come on, we're best friends right?"

"Yeah… but you used to be there for me ALL the time…"

"Come on, Kurenai. We…we need to grow up… we're not kids anymore… time to grow up…"

"What are you trying to tell me, Hatake?"

"I'm just saying that you already have Asuma to protect you… You don't need me anymore."

"Aww you're jealous…" She teased.

"I'm not!" I denied as I felt myself blush.

"I thought you said we're tight and we'll always be…" I saw her put on a sad expression on her face.

"Come on, Kurenai. Don't be sad…" I begged, feeling a bit guilty. "I'm just sating that… I should give you guys more privacy… I mean, since you're seeing each other and I'm seeing Rin, some things may change but we'll always be for each other…"

"I know that… I just kinda… miss you, Kakashi…"

"Well I miss you too…" I felt my heart throb as I stared at her and saw how she blushed when she told me that she misses me. "But you don't want Asuma to get jealous of me again, don't you? Remember; when we were kids he got mad at me because I was always with you?"

"Yah… and he tried to beat you up but I used genjutsu on him and he fell asleep?" She started to giggle as we reminisced about our childhood mamories. We kept on talking about stuff that we almost forgot about the time. Everything was so fun… Everything almost felt like eternity when she looked at her watch and realized that it was already 12 in the morning.

"Oh my god… we should go home…"

"Yeah… I'll walk you and make sure you'll be fine…"

"I don't want to trouble you Kakashi."

"It's no trouble at all Kurenai… I promise…"

"Wouldn't Rin be jealous?"

"I guess not… We're just friends anyway…"

"Well… I guess that's fine with me…"

And so I walked her home… enjoying the moment I'm spending with her. Looking at her smile knowing that it might be the last time she'll get to smile at me and knowing that I won't be able to look at her with loving eyes when Asuma comes back and marries her. I enjoyed my time with her even if it was a bit heart breaking after finding out that I won't be able to tell her how I feel and knowing that all I could ever do is keep my feelings to myself and watch her become happy with someone else… : (

P.S. My heart broke piece by piece as I was writing this… Poor Kakashi… :'( Well… I hope you like it despite the fact that it's short. And don't worry…. There are a lot of twists to come : D