DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN SOUTH PARK
In South Park Elementary school cafeteria a group of fourth garde boys are sitting in one table, and are currently in heated argument.
''Yeah Kyle, but you are also forgeting that Wrex is a biotic, so he could destroy Sten without moving.'' Cartman says.
''Yes he is, but it's a unarmed combat, so Wrex can't use his biotics, and since Sten has fought with a sword his whole life, so he is a lot stronger than Wrex.'' Kyle replies.
''Maybe, but even if Sten would manage to do some damage to Wrex, he would just go into blood rage and rip Sten's arms off.'' Cartman says.
''So what are you fellas talking about?'' Butters asks.
Other boys look at him in disbelief.
''Butters, you can't seriously be telling us that you haven't played Mass Effect or Dragon Age.'' Cartman says.
''No I haven't, like I told you before I only play Hello Kitty Island Advendure.'' Butters says.
''Goddamnit Butters, you are so lame. Remind me and Craig to beat you up after school.'' Cartman says.
''Okay!'' Butters answers.
''So what do you think Clyde? Who would win?'' Stan asks.
''Well, both sides make good arguments, so I'm calling it a tie.'' Clyde says, and looks at a paper. ''Next up, Kaidan versus Alistair.''
Two girls approach the boys table. One of them has black hair, and wears purple jacket and same colored beret. The other girl has blond hair, and wears a red jacket.
''Hey Stan'' The black haired girl says, and is ignored.
''I'm just saying, there is nothing to argue about, Alistar is just so much stronger because he has been trained to be a templar, and Kaidan can't use his biotics.'' Stan says.
''So true.'' Cartman says in ageement.
''HEY STAN!'' The girl shouts, and gets the attention of the boys.
''Oh hey Wendy.'' Stan says, turning to the girls.
''Stan, do you remember what day yesterday was?'' Wendy asks.
''Thursday, why?'' Stan says, looking confused.
''No, I mean what special day it was?'' Wendy says, looking irritaded.
''Salisbury stake day?'' Cartman says.
''NO!'' Wendy says. ''Stan, I can't believe that you forgot Valentine's day.''
''Oh shit, it was yesterday?'' Stan says. ''Wendy I'm so sorry, is there any way how I can make this up to you?''
''Yes there is, but I'm not telling you. You have to figure it out yourself.'' Wendy says, and leaved.
''Did you forget about Valentines day too?'' Stan asks and turns to the other boys.
''Well Stan, nobody in here but you and Clyde had a reason to remember it.'' Kyle says.
''Well, did you forget it?'' Stan asks.
''No'' Clyde says.
''I'm the worst boyfriend ever.'' Stan says, and buries his head in his arms.
''Well, Stan you probaly could convince Wendy that you were too drunk to remember.'' Cartman says.
''Dude!'' Kyle shouts and kicks Cartman under the table.
''What? You know it's true'' Cartman says, looking angrily at Kyle.
''Yeah, but we agreed to not talk about Stans you-know-what problem.'' Kyle answers.
''Well if revealing Wendy your problem is not an answer, you could always take her to an italian restaurant.'' Cartman says, looking at Stan. '' Nothing helps you win over chicks like a romantic dinner in an italian restaurant, but you have to remember the rule number one of dating. The guy always pays.''
''Yeah, and you could always buy her some shoes.'' Clyde says. ''Everytime me and Bebe get in fight, I buy her some shoes, and she forgives me.''
''But I can't afford that.'' Stan says. ''I'm only ten.''
''Well, you could ask your parents to give you money.'' Clyde says.
''You know what, I'm not getting any helpful advice from you.'' Stan says, and stands up. ''Screw you guys, I'm going to recess.''
''Hey that's my line'' Cartman shouts. ''Goddamnit I hate when people steal my lines.''
''So what's next on list Clyde.'' Craig says.
''Leilana versus Tali'' Clyde answers after looking at paper.
Later in the hallways, Stan approaches Wendy who is at her locker. Stan stops, and makes sure that nobody is looking, and takes a sip from a metallic flask, in which reads Randy's vodka, do not touch. He then walks up to Wendy.
''Hey Wendy'' Stan says.
''What?'' Wendy asks, sounding angry.
''Look, I'm really sorry about forgetting about Valentine's day, and to make up for that, what if I would take you to that new italian restaursnt for dinner to night?'' Stan says, and Wendy turns to face Stan.
''Okay, but you're paying.'' Wendy says and starts to walk away.
''Great, see you at six.'' Stan says.
After school that day, Stan runs all the way from bus stop to his house. He enters the house, and finds his parents in the kitchen.
''Mom, Dad can I have fifty bucks?'' Stan asks.
His parents look at each other, and then his father asks ''For what?''
''To take Wendy to that new italian restaurant, because I forgot about Valentine's Day'' Stan answers, and his grandpa enters the room.
''I'll give you fifty bucks if you kill me Billy.'' Grandpa says.
''No Grandpa, I'm not killing you.'' Stan says.
''Goddamnit Billy kill your grandpa!'' Grandpa shouts.
''NO!'' Stan replies.
Grandpa leaves the room and mutters to himself ''God damn pussy grand son won't kill his own grandpa.''
''So can I have that fifty bucks.'' Stan asks from his parents.
Randy takes out his wallet, and says ''Okay son, just remember that I expect you to pay me back some day.''
''Okay, thanks Mom and Dad'' Stan says and starts to walk away from the room.
''Hey Sharon, do you know where my flask has dissapeared?'' Randy asks. As Stan hears this, his expression changes from happy to terrified, and he quickly runs up to his room.
Few hours later Stan goes to the Testaburger house, and rings the door bell.
''Yes?'' Mr. Testaburger asks.
''Um hey, is Wendy home? We were supposed to go to a restaurant today'' Stan explains.
''Oh yes you must be Stan Marsh.'' Mr Testaburger says. ''Wendy, your little boyfriend is here!''
''Okay dad, I'll be down in a minute.'' Wendy says from upstairs
Mr Testaburger then turns to Stan. ''Okay hot shot, here are the rules. You bring my daughter home before nine, and don't try anything funny, you got that?''
''Yes sir!'' Stan replies, just as Wendy walks down the stairs.
''Hey Stan, shall we go?'' Wendy asks.
''Yeah, sure.'' Stan anwers, and they walk out of the door.
''Remember Wendy, be home before nine.'' Mr Testaburger says.
''Okay dad, bye'' Wendy shouts.
Once in the restaurant, a waiter escorts them to a table, and they order pizza. Wendy looks around the place, clearly impressed.
''Wow it's really nice in here. Have you been here before?'' Wendy asks.
''No, but fatass recommended it to me.'' Stan answers. ''And if I he's good at something, it's telling where you get good food.''
Then a waiter brings them their pizzas, but when Stan looks down to his plate, instead of pizza he sees a pile of shit.
''Oh goddamnit not again.'' He mutters to himself, and then raises his voice. ''Hey Wendy, what's that thing over there?''
''Where?'' Wendy asks.
''There, just outside of window.'' Stan says.
As Wendy looks outside, Stan pulls the flask out of his pocket, and pours some clear liquid to a glass of coke in front of him and takes a sip. After that, the pile of shit has been replaced with pepperoni pizza.
They eat and talk about thing that have happened to them, and once they have finished eating, they order the bill.
''So who is paying?'' The waiter bringing the bill asks. ''The gentleman, or the lady?''
''I am.'' Stan says. ''Here's fifty bucks.''
''And heres fifteen back.'' The waiter says. ''Thank you, come again.''
Stan and Wendy walk to the Testaburger house. Once she's at the doorstep, Wendy turns to face Stan.
''I had really great time tonight Stan.'' Wendy says.
''Yeah, me too.'' Stan says.
Wendy then starts leaning towards Stan, and they kiss.
After Wendy pulls out smiling, she says ''Who, I can't actually believe that we did it. Our first kiss. And you didn't even puke.''
''Yeah. I guess people change as they grow up.'' Stan says.
''Goodnight Stan.'' Wendy says as she opens the door.
''Goodnight Wendy'' Stan says as he starts walking away. He pulls the flask out of his pocket, takes a sip, kisses the bottle, and says ''Thank you alcohol.''
AN: If you don't know why Stan is drinking in this fic, watch episode Assburgers, and you will understand.