Disclaimer: Touhou belongs to Zun, and the only things that belong to myself would be Usagi the Mimic, and Moegi the Japanese Beetle. Everything else belongs to their rightful owner.

A/N: My, it has been some time since last we met, has it not?

Y/N: ...Who are you talking to?

A/N: Why, the story! Why, who else would I be talking to?

Y/N: Well, you were facing the readers...

A/N: Have you learned nothing from Maggie? It's not good to assume.

Y/N: Ohh, so now you are referencing the works of other's on other websites?

A/N: Well, I can't help that I have no idea what to write in this little section. I had no idea what to write, and so I used the first thing that came to mind.

Y/N: And it was the rather depressing CYOA that you haven't even read all of?

A/N: Well, I fell behind a little...

Y/N: And then there's the other one you haven't even started reading...

A/N: Erk...

Y/N: And then there's Willie. You told him that you would read the other half of his series, what, six months ago?

A/N: Shhhh! Quiet! I try not to mention that unless I think I'm going to get around to it!

Y/N: Well, if you don't wish to throw a wrench in the pattern, what are you going to do?

A/N: ...Hold backspace untill you haven't told anyone that?

Y/N: Ye- No! No, that's not what you're supposed to do at all!

A/N: Fine, fine, I'll try and read more of it... Jeez...

Y/N: Come now, you know you enjoy his stories.

A/N: Yes, yes, I know...

Y/N: So why?

A/N: Stuck in a serious part. I like comedy. I.E. it shall be quite difficult to work my way through the serious bit I'm in. Anyways, let's get on with this show. I'm tempted to just read Almost Pirates, though... Trying to avoid skipping to it, however.

Midnight, Hieda Private Library, Patchouli's PoV:

...That could have gone better. ...I suppose I had best work on regressing the wall to its past state. As I was about to collect the pieces of wall into a neat and orderly pile, Are ran into the room with tears in her eyes, and her cloths in a rather unmodest state. "Are? You do realize that you are to fully fasten your kimono before you leave home, correct?"

Not listening to me at all, I suddenly felt the small girl leap onto me. It is not as if my arms were prepared to embrace the girl, so it is not as if she lept into my arms. As I was unprepared for it, I found myself being forced to the ground by her weight, and my head impacted the tatami. As she seemed to be crying into my rather lacking breasts so as to show the distress she felt, I did what I believed was appropriate for the situation. I wrapped my arms around the girl, and began to make various relaxing sounds. Most were various forms of coos, while several were various variations of purrs. I never was particularly sure as to the sound humans emit when they try to calm eachother down, so I figured it best to use all that I knew of untill she was calm.

Looking up at me with confusion, the tearful girl asked, "...Did you just make a pigeon sound?"

Did I? I never did attribute these sounds to their sources... "Perhaps. Did it not soothe you?"

"...Point... A-anyways, umm... Miss Patchouli, something happened that I'm not sure what to do about..." She seemed to be avoiding my gave as she said this, causing me to raise a brow.

She seems to not want to particularly say it for some reason. Must press deeper. "Tell me more. You obviously wish to talk about it, even if you are quite hesitant in doing so."

At my response she blinked twice in confusion, before giggling a bit. "Miss Patchouli, you're really strange sometime..."

At this I merely gave a nod, as I was instructed to not let slip my true identity as a youkai. On that note, I do have to wonder how it is that she is ignoring the gaping hole in the wall so thoroughly. "That is merely my way. Now, speak of that which troubles you."

"W-well, umm... You... you see, there was this man, and he... he stole me from the streets on the way home, and he tried to do things to me..." ...Ohh dear, this is above the level of problem that I had anticipated.

I nodded to myself, with conviction in my intended actions. "I that case, I shall destroy him."

Shaking her head, Are went on to say, "No, he's already dead... That's the thing that bothers me..."

Ohh? Was it perhapse Keine the cow that did the deed? Maybe the local law enforcement interviened and... Well, it is best not to assume. Clarification is needed at this moment. "What was it that killed him?"

With an odd expression, the girl replied, "I... I actually don't know..."

"Describe it." When clarity is not easily aquired, it is best to take a detour towards it.

While still stradling me, the girl began to describe the creature. "Well, it was black, and slimy... It swallowed him up in one big bite. It was... also kinda clear. It smelled like meat, and seemed... nice. It told me that it wasn't interested in eating me..."

At the final piece of the description, I rose a brow. "'Nice' is a unique word to use in the description of a man-eating youkai."

At the revelation, her eyes widened considerably. "That was a youkai? I never expected them to be so... strange... I expected them to be less human in the way they act..."

I gave a nod, and replied, "Yes it was. An ooze, to be exact. Although, never have I seen an ooze intelligent enough to speak, let alone enough to choose what to eat... From what you have said, it likely ate your attacker as an immitation of human morals, which still left room for the devouring of 'bad' humans."

"Wow, you sure know a lot about youkai Miss Patchouli!" She gave me a look of child-like wonder. Which made sense, for she was a child.

My, does this one calm down easily... Going from nearly being raped, watching the rapist be eaten alive, and then ending with simply being fine after shedding a few tears. "I would hope so. I a-" Drat. Well, there is little I can do to easily steer away from her finding out at this point, so I might as well be honest. "-m a youkai."

At the further revelation, her jaw hung slack in astonishment. It would seem that she hadn't expected that at all.