SPOILERS: S2x02 (Katie), S2X15 (Cooler)
Jess looked around the loft. She saw that all the tables of the loft were decorated with bunches of yellow daisies tied with blue ribbons, and small, lit candles were placed around the room. One of the guys had hooked up their ipod to a computer, and soft jazz music filled the loft. As Jess walked into the living room, she saw the flowers and candles and heard the music and finally, she saw Nick.
Nick was standing in an apron next to the kitchen table surrounded icing bags, bowls, cake and muffin tins, spatulas, a vase, and all the ingredients for cupcakes that Jess had put out this morning. Walking toward him, Jess looked at the materials on the table, then looked up to find Nick smiling softly at her. When Jess reached Nick, he pulled his hand from behind his back and gave her a small bouquet of yellow daisies tied with a blue ribbon.
"Nick, I . . . " stuttered Jess.
"Jess, wait, I need to say something," Nick said. Jess closed her mouth and looked at him.
"Jess, I'm sorry about this morning. I screwed up. I know we were supposed to spend time together this morning, and I forgot. It's my fault, and I'm stupid, and I hurt your feelings."
"Nick, it's okay . . . "
"No, wait, I'm not done," Nick interrupted. "I know it's been weird between us ever since that kiss. I don't know what we are anymore, if we're friends or something else. But what I do know is that you matter to me, Jess. Your friendship matters to me, and I would never, ever want to hurt you again. I hope you'll forgive me, and if you'll still let me, I would love if you would still show me how to bake stuff."
Jess took the bouquet that Nick offered and looked at it. The bouquet was simple, charming, and friendly. The flowers were bright yellow and fresh, and the stems were green and crisp and still slightly moist. The florist had taken a deep, blue, glossy ribbon, tied it around the stems in a bow, and lightly curled the ends so that they wrapped around the flower stems prettily. They were flowers that you would give a friend or a new crush, not a lover, and they were flowers that spoke of friendship, affection, and fondness. They were perfect.
Jess looked at Nick, who was standing there nervously waiting for her response. Jess smiled, placed her hand on Nick's elbow and squeezed it. With her other hand, she placed the bouquet of flowers in the vase on the table. "Nick, this is perfect."
"Really?" Nick asked, in disbelief.
"Really," smiled Jess. "Thanks." Jess turned and hugged Nick.
Nick hugged Jess back hard and relaxed into her. He closed his eyes tightly and held onto her far longer and harder than either good sense or friendship dictated. For some reason, this small, goofy woman had wound her way into his heart with her smiles and good cheer. Until this moment, he hadn't realized how worried he had been that his mistakes would ruin what he had with her. Yet, despite the kiss, the panic moonwalk, the misplaced jealousy, and the awkwardness, she stayed, and Nick was grateful.
They released each other, and Nick laughed shakily, "Yay, okay, so are we gonna bake or what?" Jess laughed.
As promised, Jess taught Nick her recipe for cupcakes. Jess sat at the kitchen island and told Nick step by step how to assemble the batter, how to apportion the cupcake batter into the baking cups, and told him the timing and temperature for baking. After a few minutes of chatting and watchful waiting, Nick took the pan of cupcakes out of the oven, walked to the kitchen island, and set them on the cooling rack for Jess' inspection. "I don't know, Jess, they kind of looked finished to me," Nick said as he peered at the cupcakes.
Jess picked up a spatula, walked over to the cooling rack, and gave the pan a slight whack with the spatula's bladed end. "You're right, Nick, they look done. But do you see how the middle of them still jiggle a bit? On the outside, they're done, but their insides still need a bit work work. If you take them out now and tried to eat one, it would be a mess." Jess took the oven mitts from Nick, picked up the cupcakes, and put them back in the hot oven. Jess checked the kitchen clock and checked the recipe. "About 12 more minutes should do it."
Once the cupcakes were in the oven, Nick offered to make Jess a drink while they were waiting.
"So, wait, you mean to tell me you funded an entire spring break ski trip, for you and your friends, by baking cupcakes and selling them?" asked Nick incredulously. Nick stirred sugar and whiskey together and added a dash of bitters. "Now, where'd I put that orange?" he asked himself distractedly.
"Oh, sorry, here, I'm eating it," volunteered Jess. She passed him the untouched portion of the orange, along with the cherry and lemon. "Yeah, although, to be honest, we stayed in a tiny little motel, and basically stayed there for a week. And we only had enough so that every day, only two of us could go skiing while the rest of us had to stay back and play board games. But it was fun, and as it turned out, I discovered I wasn't too shabby at Clue."
"Wait, which one was Clue? That's not the one with the little pieces and the dice . . . " asked Nick.
"Nick, everyone one of those games has little pieces and some dice," laughed Jess.
"No, I mean, where you go around the take over the world?" Nick muddled the drink and looked at Jess.
"NO, Nick, that's Risk," explained Jess.
"Oh, wait, I know, that's the one where you have a battleship and you try to bomb the other guy's battleship!" Nick teased.
"NICK! That's, appropriately enough, Battleship," chuckled Jess.
"Oh, wait, seriously now. That's the one where you have cards and you put them in groups or sequences according to color and you take off your clothes."
"Oh my gosh, Miller, that's strip poker, and now you're just teasing me," laughed Jess.
"What can I say? A college age Jess playing poker kind of hits my sweet spot. A guy can dream, can't he?" laughed Nick. "Still, Jessica Day, board games and all, that sounds like it would have been a lot of cupcakes to make," Nick laughed as he slid the Old Fashioned toward her.
"Nicholas Miller, it was a lot of cupcakes," smiled Jess, then she sipped her drink. "Oh, Nick, that's the best! That fantastic," she looked up at Nick and beamed. She placed her hand on Nick's and squeezed it. "Thanks."
Nick's happy expression turned thoughtful, and he held her hand in his. Gently turning her palm over, like a fortune-teller, Nick traced the lines on Jess' hand with his thumb. As if their limbs belonged to someone else, Nick and Jess watched his fingers caress her hand. Gently, he raised his palm and placed it on top of hers, his second and third fingers lightly caressing the quickening pulse at her wrist. Nick cleared his throat and looked up at her, his face serious. "Jess, there's something I have to tell you."
Jess took a deep breath. Now is the time. Be brave, just like Cece said, thought Jess. "Nick, there's something I have to tell you too . . . " Jess trailed off. She looked up at him, and saw a pained expression on his face. Small alarm bells started going off in her head, and in her fear, she imagined the worst. "But can it wait?"
Nick looked at her, unsure. He knew what he had to say might hurt her, but he needed to be honest. He owed her the truth. "I don't know, Jess. Are you sure? What I need to say isn't going to change any time soon."
Jess looked down at their hands, and said, thoughtful, "Nick, I know that we both have things to say. Complicated things that need to be said. But can we . . . I mean, I'd like it if we could . . . do you think we could just have this night for us? 'Weird, complicated, friends that are sometimes attracted to one another' us? I just . . . I want one more night to enjoy whatever it is we have before it changes into whatever it is it's going to change into. Because after that there's no turning back, is there?"
Nick looked at Jess thoughtfully. Slowly, as if still unsure, he removed his palm from her wrist and went back to making a drink for himself. Taking a deep breath, he exhaled shakily and said, "You know, it's been awhile. Didn't you say something about taking the thing out after 12 minutes?
Jess looked at her empty palm. Without Nick's hand, her palm felt cold, small and empty. Closing her eyes, Jess silently willed her racing pulse to slow down, counted to 10 and then opened her eyes. "You know, Nick, you're right. Would you mind checking on those?" While Nick turned his back on her to approach the oven, Jess took her drink and placed it quietly next to the sink. No more alcohol tonight!
Jess turned around to see Nick reach into the oven with his hands. "Oh, and don't forget to use the . . . "
"Yeow! Ouch! Fluffer nutter!" yelled Nick.
"Oven mitts," finished Jess. Jess walked over with the oven mitts, and Nick went to the sink and ran his finger under cold water. Pulling the cupcakes out of the oven, Jess looked over her shoulder and asked Nick, "You okay? Are you burned badly?"
Nick looked at his fingers. "Nope, mostly just heat than burn. I'll be fine." He shut off the sink and turned back to Jess. "How'd they turn out?"
Jess looked at their work. "Well, Nick, if you intention was to make sweet, moist delectable baked goods, I'd say you've accomplished your goal. Congratulations!" Jess and Nick high-fived each other and smiled. Jess looked at her cell phone. "Well, Nick, it's super late, and these babies need to cool down to frost. What do you say we call it a night, let them cool down, and I'll frost them tomorrow?"
"Sounds good, Jess. And thanks again for the lesson. Thanks to you, I'm a baking stud," said Nick as he shot Jess two finger-guns.
At the unexpected and physically demonstrative praise, Jess laughed delightedly. "Oh, my gosh, Nicholas Miller, you're awesome." She pulled him in for a hug. "Thank you for spending time with me. It meant a lot."
Nick smiled and hugged her back. She felt good in his arms. Nick inhaled deeply-Oh, Vanilla! That's what it is, thought Nick—and exhaled, and relaxed into her embrace.
They slowly released each other. "Night, Nick," Jess said and smiled. Giving her elbow one last squeeze, Nick smiled. "'Night, Jess." He watched as she turned, walked to her room, and closed her door. Nick walked to the kitchen and made sure the oven was turned off. Walking around the apartment, he gathered all the flowers into the vase. Finally, he blew the candles out one by one and, with one last glace at Jess' door, blew out the last light.