Title: I Expected Drama (But You Stayed)
Author: Moonfairyhime
Rating: T/PG-13
Summary: Adam first heard Kurt sing at the Winter Showcase, when the slender countertenor took his breath away. He never realized how much drama Kurt was going to bring into his life, or how okay with it all he'd be.
Series: Part 3 of the "Scars of Your Love" series
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or any of the songs in this piece.
Notes: This is a look at the "Scars of Your Love" series from Adam's perspective. Time jumps ahoy – starts at the Winter Showcase, and ends the summer before "When I Wake Up" begins. Still not Blaine friendly. Still using apple names for the names of people in Adam's Apples. Title from Taylor Swift's song "Stay Stay Stay."
Adam originally had had no plans of attending the Winter Showcase. He had gone during his freshman year, and hadn't been too impressed with what he had seen. However, he had a free night and some free time, so this year, he decided to go. After all, he was a senior and it was the last time he would be able to enjoy the performance as a NYADA student. And, Adam could admit to his own conscience, he was a little bitter about never receiving a golden ticket. So, by going, he could silently mock the other singers and imagine how he could sing the song better.
He was shocked when Carmen announced that someone would actually be auditioning for NYADA at the performance – usually the showcase was the sacred ground of the talented and favored. He scanned the audience for this "Kurt Hummel," and raised his eyebrow when he noticed a slender young man freaking out in his seat. So, this was Kurt Hummel. He watched as Kurt left the auditorium in a panic with a girl who had sang earlier – Rachel Legume or something like that – and Adam settled back in his seat. This performance should be interesting.
Kurt came back in, and offered the audience a tentative smile. As he opened his mouth and began to sing, Adam felt his jaw drop. He had never heard anything so breathtaking. As Kurt finished the song, two thoughts passed through Adam's mind:
He wanted to know this boy better, and he needed to get him to join the Apples.
"So, what do you think of Kurt?" Adam asked Red Delicious, after another successful Apples practice. After three weeks, the countertenor was, in Adam's opinion, fitting in perfectly.
"Who?"
"Kurt. Our newest member?" At Red Delicious' look, Adam elaborated. "He's tall, slender… Has an amazing voice?"
"Oh, you mean Honeycrisp?" Red Delicious smiled at Adam.
"You named him already? That's bloody fantastic!" Adam's smile was almost blinding.
"What can I say? I like the kid, and so do the other Apples."
"Why 'Honeycrisp'?"
"Well, why not? Honeycrisp apples are sweet, which Kurt can certainly be. Honeycrisp apples are also known for their crispiness and crunchiness, which if I were to give apple qualities to humans, I would say that it means being bitchy. Which that boy can certainly be."
"Very nice. I'm still surprised that you named him so quickly."
"Like I said: we like the kid. Although, I'm pretty sure you like him more than we do." Red Delicious eyed Adam. "Look, GoldRush. Just be careful. He's a good one, but he's got some baggage."
"Maybe I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine."
"And maybe you shouldn't quote RENT at a performing arts school." Red Delicious sighed. "Just… promise me you'll take care of yourself. You're both good people, and I think a relationship between the two of you could be great, but he's young and you're, well, you."
"I'll be careful. Besides, Red Delicious, we're just friends. Now Honeycrisp and I are off for some coffee. Have a good night!"
Red Delicious watched Adam and Kurt leave together, both of them smiling. "I just hope, for both of your sakes, that this ends well."
Adam grinned as he saw Kurt walking through a throng of people at the airport; he had promised Kurt he would pick him up from the airport when Kurt returned from Lima. Kurt smiled when he saw Adam, but his smile seemed a little sad. Adam opened his arms up for a hug, but Kurt just shook his head. "I'm so sorry, Adam."
Adam felt his heart stop. "What do you mean?"
Kurt shook his head. "Can we please, please not do this here? Maybe back at your apartment?"
"Of course, Kurt." Kurt looked shocked at Adam's easy acquiescence, but Adam didn't say a word. Instead, he put his hand on the small of Kurt's back and gently guided the younger man towards the exit
In his apartment, Adam made himself and Kurt a cup of tea. Kurt was curled into the corner of the couch, making himself as small as possible. Adam handed Kurt his tea and then sat down next to the boy. "All right, Kurt, what's going on?"
Kurt's eyes filled with tears. "I am so, so sorry."
"Kurt, what do you have to be sorry for? Please, just tell me." Adam said. "You're starting to scare me."
"I saw my ex at the wedding. We had sex." Kurt said, a tear sliding down his cheek. "I know we're sort of dating, but I was just so caught up in everything and weddings can be so magical and I really don't know what I was thinking… And, Adam, please, say something."
Adam suddenly felt cold. Although he was upset, this was Kurt, and he wanted to hear him out, to have the entire situation explained. "You had sex with your ex. Are you back together with him?"
"No! I told him we were just friends. After we did it, I realized that it really didn't mean anything to me," Kurt said, tears slowly falling. "It's just… I was in Lima and it felt like that was what everyone was expecting me to do: hook up with Blaine. And it's just so hard to say no to him, and he usually doesn't listen even if you do say no-"
"Stop right there, Kurt." Adam said, going cold for another reason. "You've told him 'no' before to sex and he didn't listen?"
"Almost. I mean, I stopped him and-" Kurt stopped himself, shaking his head. "That isn't the point. I am so sorry, Adam. We were working on something wonderful and I ruined it."
"I won't lie to you, Kurt. I am a little hurt by what you've done," Adam said, staring at the boy who was still curled up in a small ball, "But I'm not angry at you. I appreciate you being honest with me and telling me about this."
Kurt offered Adam a watery smile. "What now?"
"What do you want to do?"
Kurt looked confused. "What do you mean? Why are you giving me a choice?"
Adam sighed. This wasn't the first time that Adam truly wished that he could have a Talk with Kurt's ex. "Kurt, we're in this together. Yes, you slept with your ex, which I wish you wouldn't have done. But, at the same time, it's not like we were exclusive before you left, so you didn't cheat on me."
"So, you're not going to sing a song in front of all of the other Apples and me, calling me a cheater and letting everyone know I'm a horrible person?"
Adam looked horrified at the idea. "Of course not! Why would you ask me that?"
"It's what my ex did when I cheated on him." Kurt said, staring at the floor.
Adam grabbed Kurt's chin and forced the young man to look at him. "Kurt, I'm not your ex."
"I'm beginning to see that."
"Now, Kurt, tell me what you need." Adam said. "Ignore me. Ignore your ex. What do you, Kurt Hummel, need right now?"
Fresh tears gathered in Kurt's eyes. "I think I just need a little time. To figure me out. To figure us out. Please, believe me Adam, I never wanted to hurt you."
"I know, Kurt. And I think a little time will do us both good." Adam said, offering Kurt a smile. "Now, why don't you tell me a little more about your trip?"
Three weeks later, Adam stood on the stage that the Apples used for their practice. He grinned at the group. "Alright, ladies and gents, it is time for our first ever Manic Musical Monday. Remember, tonight is about the music. There are no winners or losers, as this isn't Midnight Madness-"
"-and, if it were, I think we could all agree to just crown me the winner right now." Kurt said. Irish Peach, sitting next to Kurt, gave him a high five.
"-this is just us enjoying music and enjoying each other. Now please remember that I said it was 'Manic Musical Monday,' which means that all of your songs should either be from a musical or a movie." Adam said. "I know some of you are doing solos, some of you are in group numbers, and some of you are performing more than once. So let's get this night started. Can I have a volunteer to go first?"
Kurt looked at Red Delicious, McIntosh, and Irish Peach. "Ladies, are you ready?"
Irish Peach nodded. "We sure are, Honeycrisp. Let's get this show on the road."
Kurt stood up. "Red D, McIntosh, Irish Peach, and I have a number we would like to perform. We just need like five minutes to get into costume."
Adam looked amused, his eyes lighting up with joy at how seriously Kurt and the three ladies were taking Manic Musical Monday. "You guys have costumes? Smashing. I think we can give you guys five minutes to get changed. Agreed?" At the nods and words of encouragement from the other Apples, the four scurried off to change.
They came back on stage, dressed in togas. The togas were clearly sheets from their beds, if the colors were anything to go with. Red D's toga had pink polka dots, Irish Peach had a green striped toga, and McIntosh's toga had Strawberry Shortcake on it. Only Kurt was wearing a solid white toga, and by the way it was fitting him, Adam would have bet money that Kurt had actually taken the time to sew himself a toga. Kurt took center stage and cleared his throat. "This number is actually dedicated to Adam. You know I express myself best in song, and I want you to know that I mean every word I'm about to sing."
Adam tilted his head as he watched the girls surround Kurt as he cued the music. As he opened his mouth to sing, Adam once again found himself drawn to the younger man and his wonderful voice.
If there's a prize for rotten judgment
I guess I've already won that
No man is worth the aggravation
That's ancient history, been there, done that!
As the singers on the stage continued through the song, the ladies playing the part of the muses perfectly, Adam found himself completely focused on Kurt and the words that Kurt was singing. Like the countertenor had said – Adam knew that Kurt expressed himself best through music. Music made up every moment of Kurt's life; Adam could often tell what mood Kurt was in just by what song he was humming. Kurt sang songs with the same care that he used when picking words to speak. Kurt always picked words or songs that would have the greatest impact upon the recipient – something that would leave the recipient knowing exactly how Kurt felt about something.
Oh
At least out loud,
I won't say I'm in love
As the song ended, all Adam think was 'Oh, Kurt.'
Kurt walked off stage and towards Adam. He smiled shyly at Adam. "What do you think?"
Adam grinned back. "Oh, Kurt. It was marvelous."
"I need you to know that I really am sorry for everything. For all the misunderstandings, if you ever felt like I was leading you on, because I didn't mean to. Adam," Kurt said, his eyes filling with tears, "I am over my ex. You have to believe me. I am sorry for how long it took me to realize that, and for what I had to do to realize it. But Blaine and I, we're over. I just hope that it's not too late to try again with you."
Adam nodded. "I believe you, Kurt."
Kurt smiled, tears glistening in his eyes. "I'm not ready to love someone else, not yet. But I don't want to let you go. And, I know if you can be patient with me for a little longer, I will be ready to say it out loud."
"Then, Kurt, if you promise to not let me go, I promise to not let you go."
Kurt nodded, eagerly, and the two boys smiled at each other. Granny Smith sighed, watching all the drama unfold. He finally couldn't take it anymore and couldn't help but shout: "Oh, listen to the song, the song say kiss the boy!"
And, as Adam leaned down and kissed the younger boy, the other Apples let out whoops of joy. Red Delicious and Irish Peach high fived each other, while McIntosh collected money from the other Apples, gloating all the while about how she had won the pool.
Two weeks after the Hercules number, Kurt and Adam decided to make their relationship "Facebook official." Kurt grinned as he refreshed his page and saw "in a relationship with Adam Crawford" listed in his information section. Kurt then asked Adam how long he thought it would take Blaine to call and demand an explanation. Adam replied that Blaine wouldn't be calling, as people generally weren't that insane. Kurt snorted, called Adam naïve, and then put his bet on three days.
"Why three days?"
"The first day is for shock, because he won't believe that I would dare date someone that isn't him. The second day is for him to gather allies and then sit with said allies and say that he can't believe I would cheat on him again-"
"Kurt, we've been over this. You never cheated on him."
"You're using logic again."
"Oh, sorry."
"And said allies will comfort him, reminding him how he's the wounded party, because I went to New York and left him in Lima. Then, he'll probably have to pick a song to sing to me about how I've done him wrong and how I'm a horrible person, but I shouldn't worry because he'll forgive me."
"I really don't understand your ex."
"It's Blaine Anderson's world and he's just kind enough to let us all live in it. Anyhow, he'll call me on the third day. Wanna make a bet on it?"
"Mmm… would rather make out right now, if it's all the same to you."
"…I'm amenable to that suggestion."
And, on the third day, Adam walked into his apartment, only to hear Kurt's phone ringing: We are never, ever, ever getting back together! We are never, ever, ever getting back together! You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me. But we are never, ever, ever, ever getting back together!
"Kurt, who the bloody hell is that ring tone for? That is one of the most annoying songs I've ever heard."
"Blaine." Kurt said, glaring at his phone as it started to ring again. We are never, ever, ever getting back together! Kurt grabbed the phone, hit ignore, and then put the phone on silent.
"Ah," Adam said as he sat down next to Kurt, "That explains so much."
"You realize I won our bet." Kurt said.
"You realize we never actually made a bet? We got… distracted. "
"Think I should take the phone call?"
"Probably would be the best," Adam said. "Unless you…"
"Stop right there, Adam Crawford. I don't even want to know how you were going to end that sentence. But when I answer him," Kurt said, glaring as the screen lit up, letting Kurt know that Blaine was calling again, "it's going to be 'Oh, Kurt, what are you playing at? I know you still love me, and we're meant to be together forever!' And blah, blah, blah. And I can say whatever I want, but it'll still be all about him and what he wants and you know what?"
"What?"
"He doesn't care about what I want. And I finally realized what I want."
"And what's that?"
"Not what," Kurt said, smiling at Adam, "who. And I want you."
Adam smiled back, and they both ignored the phone as it rang again. "I'm glad you've decided that, Kurt, as I've decided that I want you too."
Kurt smiled, and then his phone rang again. "Oh, for fuck's sake. This is the 16th time today he's called."
"Answer it, darling." Adam said, grabbing Kurt around the waist and pulling the younger man into his lap.
Kurt looked at Adam and then at the phone. He nodded, hitting the speakerphone button. "Hello?"
"Kurt!" Blaine's voice exploded from the phone. "Why haven't you been answering my calls?"
"I'm so sorry, Blaine. I've been a bit busy, what with classes and everything."
"Yeah, and it seems you've been busy with your new boyfriend," Blaine said, and Adam narrowed his eyes at the phone at Blaine's tone. "What are you doing, Kurt? You know we're going to be together forever!"
"No, Blaine, we're not. It's over between us, I told you that before." Kurt said, sighing. Adam squeezed Kurt's waist tighter.
"Kurt," Blaine said, and both of them could hear the underlying annoyance in Blaine's tone. "I'm not going to let you trivialize our relationship! You know that we got back together at the not-wedding. You know that everything we did together meant something!"
"Yes, Blaine, it did. But it meant one thing to you and another to me. I told you over and over again that we were just friends, and that it wasn't a sign that we were getting back together. It's not my fault you didn't believe me!"
"You shouldn't have played with my emotions like that, Kurt!"
"And you shouldn't have cheated on me, but you don't always get what you want!" Kurt snapped.
Blaine sighed. "Kurt, I'm coming out to visit you this weekend, and we'll work everything out. Trust me, Kurt, after this weekend, everything will be perfect between us again."
"No." Kurt said, his voice completely flat. Adam stared at his boyfriend, worried at the tone. "No, Blaine. For once, please, do what I want. Stay in Lima. Just leave me alone, please. I'm with Adam now."
"Kurt, you don't know what you're talking about. And, besides, does this Adam guy even know that before you two started dating or whatever it is that you're doing, that you slept with me?"
"Actually, I do. Because we talk to each other, not at each other, and we've done a lot of talking since Kurt came back from Lima. And a lot of other things too, to be honest." Adam said, finally done with the entire conversation. "Hullo, Blaine. I'd say it's nice to finally meet you, but I'd be lying. I'm Adam, Kurt's boyfriend, and I'm going to say this one time and one time only. Do what Kurt says and stay in Lima. If you come here for school this fall like Kurt says you may, that's bloody great. But I want you to keep one thing in mind: Kurt is done with you, and I, quite frankly, am done with this entire conversation."
Kurt hit the 'end' button. When the phone didn't immediately ring again, Kurt let out a sigh. "You know, that's one thing I miss about landlines. It's so much more satisfying to slam a phone down then to tap a button."
Adam laughed. "Agreed, love. So that's the bloody wanker, eh? He's quite the piece of work."
"I know. I'm still kind of expecting him to show up here this weekend," Kurt said, staring at nothing. "I never should have slept with him."
"It certainly didn't help the situation," Adam said, and ignored Kurt's Look. "And we've gone over that whole scenario enough for one lifetime. Let's just focus on our future, yeah?"
"Yeah. I like that plan."
Adam kissed him. "You know, actually speaking to him makes so many things make sense."
"Hmm?"
"Why you hesitate to accept compliments – he really is quite full of himself. I'm sure you constantly complimented him and I'm sure he rarely returned the favor. It also answers why you were so shocked when I heard you out after you slept with him; why you were shocked that I talked to you and didn't sing something like 'There's a Fine, Fine Line' at you with the Apples present."
Kurt nodded. "You let me decide things for myself. You don't create drama when there's no need for it. You stay and listen to me; you don't run away from me, only to sing about all of our problems to our friends. And I can't tell you how much that means to me."
"Well, less drama is always good."
"As much as I love drama, I do have to agree. Too much drama in your own relationship is bad."
Adam noted the word choice. "And in other people's relationships?"
"Then it's amusing as all hell."
"There's the Kurt that I adore."
Kurt leaned back, resting his head on Adam's shoulder. "You do realize that this is probably going to blow up in our faces."
"Let it," Adam said, resting his head against Kurt's, "We can deal with it."
"I'm not going home this summer," Kurt announced as he waltzed into Adam's apartment, weeks after the phone call from Blaine. "I'm staying in New York City."
Adam kissed his boyfriend hello. "Kurt, you can go home if you want to. I'll miss you terribly, but if you need to go home, I understand. You don't have to stay here for me."
Kurt raised his eyebrow and allowed himself to be pulled into Adam's lap. "I like how you think this is about you. This is about me and my needs."
"I thought I was satisfying all of those needs," Adam said, leering at his boyfriend.
"Oh, don't worry, honey. You satisfy all my needs but one: money. And if you paid me for sex, that would be prostitution, and I'm pretty sure if I told my dad I was prostituting myself for you, he would be on the next plane to New York and I would be missing one very hot, very British boyfriend."
"This is a very good point. So, tell me, love, why are you staying in New York this summer?"
"Before I got into NYADA, I worked at – "
"Very nice," Adam said, settling his arms tighter around Kurt.
"And I quit when I got into NYADA because I didn't want work to get in the way of school. But I talked to Isabelle, my old boss, and it seems she just put a leave of absence in for me. So, there's a job there for me this summer, and she's willing to work with me and my schedule this fall if I want to stay on." Kurt grinned, proud of himself.
Adam gave his boyfriend a kiss. "Good on you, Kurt. Very nice. And I won't lie to you – I am very glad that you're going to be here this summer."
Kurt's proud smile disappeared. "Even if I had gone home, you have to know that I wouldn't have –"
"Love –"
"I mean, I would have seen him, we have too many of the same friends, but –"
"Kurt –"
"But I would never do that to you. I'm still sorry about the last time and you have to believe me-"
Adam gave Kurt a long, lingering kiss. Kurt smiled at his boyfriend. "What was that for?"
"You wouldn't shut up, love." Adam gave him another kiss. "Kurt, I completely trust you. What's in the past is in the past. Yes, you shouldn't have messed around with your ex, but I also should have made my intentions and my feelings towards you clearer before you left. And, as I've said before, that situation is over and done with. We're focusing on the us here and now, not the us that we were in the past."
Kurt smiled, a soft, gentle smile that melted Adam's heart. "You are amazing, Adam Crawford."
"I think you're pretty amazing yourself, Kurt Hummel."