Gerard gets back home and goes straight for the little cabinet in the kitchen with all the alcohol. He doesn't want to think about what he did, why he did it or how he felt at that moment, for now he wants to feel nothing and get away from it for a couple of hours. He realizes it's childish, that he can't really escape it or take anything back this is just his way of dealing with it.
He knew he liked Frank from the moment he smiled at him and he already told himself a million times that there's a big chance he doesn't feel like that towards him. He thought he accepted it. It's like high school all over again he sees a pretty boy, starts to like him and then gets possessive over him even though some of them didn't even know he existed. He'd glare at anyone who got close to his crush, snap at them and create scenarios in his head where he kills the ones who are interfering and later gets crushed because he's too chicken to do anything about it. He hates the feeling of being utterly obsessed over someone, being so dependant from them.
He chases those thoughts away and focuses on the bottle in front of him. He drinks until he can barely walk back to his bedroom and slumps down on the bed, bottle still in hand. Gerard doesn't realize how long he was asleep or if he was even asleep. At some point he heard the door open and close again, it must've been his mom who got back from her trip.
It's a shame that instead of a greeting, a hug, some coffee or tea she found her eldest son lying unconscious, makeup smeared all over his face, clothes reeking from sweat and bottles of alcohol rolling on the ground. But she can't do anything about it but watch him waste himself like this. Donna Way just smiles sadly for having her hopes up that when she returns, he'll have changed, turns around and leaves his bedroom.
When Gerard finally wakes up for a moment he can't remember where he is, what day is it or even who he is. Slowly everything starts flowing back to him and as he vaguely remembers last night events someone slams his head with a hammer and puts him back to bed. Gerard moans from the massive headache and reaches for the glass of water his mom put on the nightstand. He drinks it greedily and thirsts for more but for that he would have to get up from his bed.
Gerard kicks the empty bottles on the way to the bathroom. The sound of them rolling on the ground and hitting each other goes right through his head as well as every step he takes and he has to clench his teeth.
He reaches the bathroom what seems to him an hour later, strips off his smelly clothes and gets in the shower. He takes his precious time in the water feeling his mind start working more clearly through the hangover. He doesn't think about yesterday anymore. He dealt with it last night. End of story.
After he's done he feels better and realizes how hungry he is. He goes upstairs and finds his mom in the kitchen
"Hey mom didn't hear you come home last night. How was the trip?" Gerard asks while scratching his wet head and going for the coffee maker.
"It was really good we had a lot of fun. How were you? How's the new job?" his mom asks. She does look better, no dark circles under her eyes and her face isn't sickly pale.
"it's great I think I'm going to keep this one, the job isn't difficult, I have my own office and I already made friends there" Gerard says tiredly "what time is it?" he asks looking around seeing the sky in a darker shade of blue.
"It's almost 5pm honey. That's great news! I'm really proud of you" his mother says "oh there is left over food and snacks from my trip if you want some, I'm going to the grocery shop since we don't have any decent food products around here, seriously what have you been eating all those days, Gerard? Anyway do you want anything from the store?" she asks grabbing her car keys.
"Just something cold to drink, I'll probably go take a nap so can you put it in my room?" Gerard says stirring his coffee and sitting down at the table.
"Sure honey" she smiles motherly and disappears through the door.
Gerard takes his mug, heats up some mac and cheese and slumps his way back to the basement. He's too awake to sleep anymore but too tired to do anything either. He can only describe this feeling as being completely numb to everything. He turns on some channel and stares at the colorful images moving, feeling absolutely indifferent about everything. That's what he was aiming for when he got drunk last night.
That's how the rest of his Saturday goes by. Sunday Gerard wakes up in a better mood and helps his mom clean around the house, which cheers her up as well. He even takes a fucking shower and finishes the last assignment he was given at work, though it wasn't necessary.
Gerard starts thinking about renting his own apartment, he's 26 for Christ sake and he's still living with his mother. There's nothing embarrassing about that he just thinks it's time for him to live his own life and his mother is having a hard time paying for the house, herself and Gerard's needs as well. He spends his evening talking with Mikey about his honeymoon and the show Gerard went to. He doesn't hide anything from Mikey and tells him everything. The younger brother gets upset hearing about Gerard's little re-lap on booze and tells him to just calm down, don't get paranoid over everything and if he really wants Frank he's going to be a big boy about it and just ask.
Gerard ends up thinking about it again and he decides not to do anything unless there are clear signs that he likes him back because he isn't feeling as brave as before and doesn't want to go through the same thing like Friday and he falls asleep with that thought in mind
…
It's Monday again and Gerard shows up late not to mention without having his morning coffee. His manager gives him a warning but it's hard to take him seriously when he's eating a sandwich the size of his arm and there's sauce and other ingredients dripping on some important looking papers on his desk.
He gets another stack of work and sets off to his office. He brought his good pencils this time because the company's ones were giving him a headache. At lunch Gerard meets up with his friends again and surprise surprise they were having pizza again.
They properly discuss the show and tell Gerard what he missed out at Rays. Then followed the regular work related talk, Ray and Frank are having trouble with some of their songs and Bob couldn't find a decent singer for the commercial he's working on. Bob is not only one of the main people who run this tiny record company he also sometimes gets to compose melodies or certain effects for movies and TV programs or in this case a commercial.
Gerard manages to finish two of his assignments by the end of the day. He packs up his stuff, locks the office and goes outside lighting up a cigarette and starts walking in the direction of his home when someone grabs his arm from behind.
"Hey let go what are you- Frank? C'mon dude what the hell?" Gerard says surprised. Frank is smiling wide and pulling him in the opposite direction.
"Well you promised that next time you would come and hang out with us remember? And that's now. C'mon we're heading to my place, Ray and Bob are already there" Frank says casually.
"But it's a Monday! We have work tomorrow and I don't even know where you live how will I get back home?" Gerard asks panicking slightly and trying to get away from Franks tight grip.
"Will you stop worrying." He says rolling his eyes "We're not going to get wasted or anything, I live nearby and I'll drive you home if you really need to princess. Now c'mon keep moving I'm not taking a no for an answer" Frank says still smiling like he's pleased with himself at Gerard and not letting go of him.
"Fucking Christ this is ridiculous" Gerard sighs and still continues to put up a fight, trying to show he's not pleased with this situation though he hates to admit that he's enjoying every second of it.
They get to Frank's apartment which is small but cozy, with only 2 bedrooms and a small kitchen, which's state suggests Frank isn't a very good cook, and the place has a specific smell like every house does that no amount of perfume can hide. It smells distinctly like ironed clothes, guitar strings and wood.
They go into the living room where it sounds that there's a murder or an assault going on it there but in reality it's just Ray and Bob furiously playing video games and shouting either at each other or the game.
"Hey guys, look who decided to come! And you said that he wouldn't, ha! I should have put a bet on that I's have gotten another easy 5 bucks" Frank says gleefully reaching for a beer and giving Gerard one as well
"Decided to come? Frank you dragged me here and I'm not so sure you'd have won that bet" Gerard says taking a seat on the couch and taking a careful sip of the beer in hand.
"Yeah get used to it, he does that a lot to people who-" Bob gets interrupted by Ray's elbow knocking into his side, it wasn't clear if it was on purpose or not but after they share a quick look Bob continues "he just does that, Frank's annoying like that. Don't worry after a while you learn to tune it out and go along with it"
"So what you tune me out? Alright Bryar, game on. Ray give me your controller, I'm taking this bitch down" Frank says walking towards them. Gerard just laughs and watches their little show. It was a tie between those two until Ray stepped in and started giving hints to Bob so in the end Frank was beaten.
They played with each one of them till 3am. Gerard lost in almost every game and by the end he just gave up. Ray was like a video game genius, there was only one time Bob beat him. Later on no one wanted to play with Ray anymore, because it's impossible to win against him.
Gerard had only two beers which he's very proud of. After another match with Ray he goes to the bathroom, takes his time, fixes his hair in front of the mirror. When he goes back to the living room there's only Frank left lying in the couch, the TV's turned off, so are half of the lights in the apartment and no more sign of Ray and Bob
"How long was I in there?" Gerard asks looking around. Frank giggles franticly and Gerard notices him holding a joint in his other hand.
"Not long. Ray and Bob went home already" Frank says offering it to Gerard. He sits down on the ground so his back is against the couch near where Frank's head is lying and takes the pot from him. He feels himself relax and become lighter as he exhales the smoke and slides down further on the ground so his head is barely above the couch.
"So you guys do this every Monday?" Gerard asks, his voice barely above a whisper.
"Nope. We rarely do it on a work day, except on birthday's maybe. I just though we may not catch you on the weekend or something and I wanted you to come hang with us and here we are" Frank says mimicking Gerard's voice.
The things that Frank just said and the fact that he said it so close to his ear in almost a whisper makes Gerard's stomach tingle again from butterflies. No wait, more like bats. A bat. Or batman. Then Gerard starts to imagine batman. A tiny batman stuck in his stomach trying to fight his way out of it and he starts to laugh from the thought of it. Frank starts laughing as well though he doesn't even know why.
Gerard could just turn his head, turn his head to his right and their lips would be inches apart or even touching. The thought is so appealing and tempting even with his fuzzy brain he feels the tension and wonders if Frank is feeling the same right now. He imagines it so many times in his head he has to physically control himself to not reach out and pull him in by his neck.
"Hey Gee?" Frank barely whispers in Gerard's ear that sends waves of electricity down his spine and then over his whole body. It's so intimate, the world closed around them and they're the only people in this tiny bubble that is running out of oxygen. He turns his head slightly not being able to bear it and finds Frank's face right there in front of him. Eyes half closed, mouth slightly open, his breathing slightly faster than normal and Gerard can feel his puffs of air on his cheek and see every shade of brown and green in his irises. He feels his heart start to beat faster as Frank looks him in the eye and then his gaze falls on his lips
"I'm feeling really sleepy and I don't know if I can walk you home" Franks says closing his eyes tight. Oh. The word disappointment doesn't even begin to describe what Gerard is feeling now.
He feels embarrassed even though he technically didn't do anything, didn't even lean in, but he expected for such a stupid thing to happen and let his day dreaming get the best of him.
"it's alright, I can walk back home just fine" Gerard says getting up from his spot and sees Frank extending his hands up for a hug. The older man embraces him without hesitation. If this is as much closeness he's going to get from this he's not going to pass on it.
The hug is a bit awkward since Frank is still lying on the couch and he buries his face in Gerard's hair and says "Or you can stay the night here with me if you want" though all Gerard hears is muffled sounds and he ignores it, he heard enough indirect rejection in the past days. He says his goodbyes and quietly leaves the apartment.